5 Killing me Softly
Special thanks to Bitten for help and beta
Warning: Strong sexual content and language.
Autumn opened herself up to him and whimpered when Spock slid deep. They kissed, a slow tango of tongues. Hands roamed, grasped and held. She arched and he pressed closer.
Needing more, craving total unity, Spock reached his hand up and pressed his sensitive fingers to Autumn's cheek and temple. He opened his mind and let go. He allowed all of his love and everything that he was to flow into his wife.
Stunned by the sudden influx of emotions, Autumn gasped and wept. Spock was showing her his soul, his very core. He was beautiful, his love so pure and true. How could she ever repay him such a gift?
Pressing her hand against his, she came with her eyes locked on his. A long, slow, hard release that made her lightheaded. Spock followed closely behind but he didn't stop. He kept moving, gently, in and out. Driving Autumn half mad with it.
He began to whisper, Autumn couldn't understand the words, but they were beautiful. Vulcan words that inflamed them both. She writhed and begged for more. The soft, gentle side of Spock was almost too much. He was killing her softly and just when she was sure she couldn't take anymore, he changed.
His hand fell away and hands gripped tight. Spock pulled out and flipped her over on to her knees so fast it left her breathless and dizzy. He slammed back into her roughly and Autumn cried out in shock and pleasure.
Spock growled behind her and completely covered her with his body. He pumped in and out of her, desperate now. It didn't matter that they had both come many times, this time was different.
Hard and brutal. Primal. This was a Vulcan rutting. Intense sex, violent. Lines blurred, logic dissolved completely, thoughts non-existent.
Vows had been exchanged, words of love and tender caresses, but now it was all about mating. In and out, in and out, in, out, in....no thought, just instinct.
Slowly, Spock's blood cooled and his mind filled, once again, with his comforting logic. With one last thrust, his body emptied and he was sated.
Spock stopped and rested his head against Autumn's back for moment, trying to catch his breath. He trembled from exertion. Time was lost to him, how long had he been pounding in to Autumn's tender body? He did not know.
He withdrew and they both groaned in pain. If he was sore, he could not imagine how she felt.
With his remaining strength, he moved her and laid her down on her back gently.
"I am sorry, Autumn. I had no idea what would happen, how it would end."
Autumn just smiled and nodded weakly, "It's over?" she whispered in question. She loved Spock, loved him inside of her, but she hurt and was so very tired. And hungry. But she was just too tried to want to eat. Her stomach rumbled and Spock started to get up to get them some food. "No, not yet. I need to rest, so tired..."
"We need food to build our strength back up."
"Please, just sleep with me, food later..."
The words fell from her lips as she drifted off to sleep. Spock smiled slightly and thought they had 'slept' together. That was the way a lot of humans spoke of sex, but they had done everything he could imagine but sleep. Sighing contently, he wrapped his body around hers, covered them with a blanket and he too, slept.
Gnawing stomach pain woke them and when they looked at each other, they laughed. Autumn giggled at Spock's hair and he chuckled at their serious need of cleansing.
"Oh, God, I feel like I'm coming off a bender with Uhura. Man, can that woman drink!"
"So, making love to me leaves you with a headache and sour stomach in the morning, flattering," Spock said dryly.
Autumn just rolled her eyes and grinned, "Welcome back."
Spock cocked his brow, "It is good to be back, but I really would like to shower and perhaps eat some food."
"You don't want to ravish me anymore?" Autumn joked.
"Currently, no." Spock watched as her face changed ever so slightly with hurt. Human women, he would never really understand them, but he had a lifetime to learn. Running his finger along Autumn's jaw line, he said, "I do not think that either of us is any shape at the moment. Know this, my wife, I will ravish you often and completely."
"But the Pon Farr?"
"Is not the only time we are intimate. It is the only time we need to be. I have been struggling to keep my hands off of you for months and believe me, it had nothing to do with Pon Farr."
Felling her heart flutter all over again, Autumn sighed. Being with Spock was pure bliss. She was so very happy she could burst. It wasn't about the sex or making love. It was about him. His eyes, his scent, his voice. He was fascinating to her; the most intelligent man she'd ever met. She knew she could share a lifetime with him and it still not be enough. She'd still want to learn all he knew, still have questions to ask him and long to know his opinions.
A slight tinge of sadness hit her thinking how much longer he would live. She would one day die and he would go on, alone once more. How could he put himself out there like that? She'd seen his face after his mother died, the hurt and pain. Would he be able to stand losing his mate? He was half human after all and deeply emotional.
Pushing away her morbid thoughts, she smiled at him, "Are you happy?"
He paused for a moment, trying to really understand the question, its meaning. Happy. A simple word but an illogical one. An emotional one, but one that was very hard for him to understand. Happy? He knew that he couldn't imagine life without Autumn. Knew he had waited too long, even the few months that he lost with her would haunt him the rest of his days. He had and would continue to treasure ever second of time he spent with her. He would worry about his regrets later, the thoughts were not pleasing. Oh but when he looked at her, he felt light, connected and loved. "Happy is not a Vulcan word, but yes, I believe that I am."
Autumn smiled at him, "I'm happy too. You make me happy." Autumn ran her hand over Spock's chest and then placed it low on his right side. She could feel his heart beat, strong, steady and fast. So much faster than hers. He seamed so normal, so human, but he wasn't. There were so many subtle things that betrayed his mixed race but you could only see them up close. With each touch, each minute, she learned more and more about him. This was only the beginning.
Unaware of her musings, Spock's mind was on solving their immediate issues. Food and cleansing. "Good, it is settled then. Shower, I will get us some food."
She watched as Spock got out of bed and bit her lip. Wow, who know he had such a nice ass. Long, almost lanky, but his muscles rippled and flowed like silk under his skin. So sexy and unaware of it. When he bent down to pick up his pants and she couldn't help herself, "I like the way you are dressed now."
Spock frowned and her, clearly puzzled by the statement. "I am not wearing any clothing."
Grinning, Autumn nodded gleefully, "I know. Keep it that way."
Still unsure why she would want him to walk around naked, all he could come back with was, "But it is unsanitary."
Crawling to the edge of the bed, she looked up at him and licked her lips, "Was it unsanitary when I had your cock in my mouth?" She saw him twitch, a spark of life trying to jump back into said organ. It was Autumn's turn to raise her brow and lower her gaze when he didn't reply.
Her voice went husky and her core wet. She didn't know how she could want him again so soon, but she did, "I like you naked, Spock. I like looking at your body, being able to touch you at will. Taste you."
Unable to stop his body's reaction to her words, he growled and dropped his pants back to the floor. Yanking her off the bed and into his arms Spock crushed his lips against hers. Before she knew what was happening, she was against the cool hull wall and he was inside of her once again.
"It burns." He muttered against her neck, almost whimpered. He was tired, drained from the night before but the way she looked at him reignighted the fire that burned for her.
"Yeah, but it feels sooo good when you're inside me." Her heart pounded and she said his name. When he looked at her she kissed him softly but fully. "It's like the first time all over again. This is you, Spock, not the Pon Farr.... you."
Vowing to never make the same mistakes as his father, Spock held her gaze and said, "I love you, Autumn."
Autumn smiled, "And I love you, Mr Spock. Now, yeah, umm, oh... lets move this to the shower. Can you do that, big boy?"
Spock did not answer her, just just did as she commanded and took them both in to the small shower stall and turned on the hot water. It helped ease some of the discomfort both of them were feeling and he got to drink from her skin; he found that he really enjoyed that.
Once they finally got around to eating, Autumn looked at the food before her and sighed, "Is it going to bother you that I like meat? Milk and cheese?" The thought of living off rabbit for didn't really appeal to her too much. She'd do it, for him, but she wouldn't like it.
"Why would it?" Muttered, adding a few more pieces of fruit to his plate. He would have to make sure he thanked Kirk and McCoy for the food. He knew that they were the ones behind the fresh and not freeze dried fruit.
"Because we're going to be living together."
Spock eyes snapped to hers and stopped chewing for a moment before he swallowed hard. Autumn had to laugh at that. "Forgot about that didn't you?" At the look in his face, she howled with laughter. She should be offended that he seemed horrified by the thought but she wasn't. This was Spock, so controlled. Someone coming in to his quarters, touching and sharing his things had to be hard on him.
Autumn shrugged, "I guess you could move in with me, but your place is larger. I really don't think we'll be able to fit comfortably at mine once the kids come."
"Kids?" Did my voice just crack, Spock wondered.
Another fit of giggles, "Yeah, little Spocks and Autumns. Wonder if they'd have red hair? Could you see a little Vucan with red hair?"
After a moment, he relaxed and tried to imagine it. "We all have black hair, or some have dark brown. A blue eyed, red haired Vulcan, the Elders will weep."
"Wait until they hear you married a human after everything that has happened the last few months." Suddenly unsure, "What do you think your father will say?"
"I do not know. It does not matter. He once told me that he married my mother because he loved her. I married you because I love you. How could he want any less for me?"
"We'll dilute your bloodline farther."
"Perhaps Spock Prime can sire a few children?"
Autumn's Jaw dropped and she shook her head in denial. "How can you say that? He is you, you're him?"
"Technically,but not entirely accurate. He is what I would have been, not what I am."
"And that makes it ok for him to go out and impregnate women? The children will be as much yours as his."
"The paradox of two of the same beings is mind boggling, even to me. I do not know how I would feel about it or how it would effect me. Would it change things, the universe? What if I never knew? What if he already has children, what if they perished along with Vulcan?"
"Spock?"
"What? The logical thing would be to increase the number of Vulcans."
"And you mated with a human."
"I had planned on resigning my commission, but he encouraged to follow my heart."
Autumn smiled, "I think I like the older you."
"Yes, I believe you would."
"Will I get to meet him?"
"I am sure, in time, you will make each other's acquaintance."
"Is he as sexy as you? Because if he is, I'm not sure how I will be able to handle two of you side by side."
Spock stopped and looked at her earnestly, "You are my wife, not his."
Autumn's stomach did a slow, happy roll and she leaned over and kissed him. He tasted of pineapple. Yummy, she thought as she pulled back and licked her lips.
Looking back down at her own plate, Autumn sighed and ate a grape. She longed for steak to give her some iron in her blood. She needed energy. "I know it's going to be an adjustment for both of us. Everything happened so fast. One minute I was thinking you were dumping me, the next you're fucking me six ways to Sunday and we're married."
Brow quirk.
"Yeah, I know... not the talk of a lady but can you come up with a better way to explain what we did here?" She waited...
Spock thought about it and decided that he could not. "No, that about sums it up."
"Thought so. It'll take time, but we have that now. People will talk, wonder and gossip. You'll get criticized for stepping out of your race and people will watch my every move, sure that I'm pregnant and that's why this happened so quickly. Frankly, I don't care what they think or say but I hope it does not effect you professionally. Personally, I got you and that's all that matters. If I must resign, I will."
Spock just listened to her and watched. He enjoyed her company and for the first time ever, he could truly relax with her, with anyone. She didn't question him, didn't make him feel like less of a man because of his mixed blood.
Her cheeks are flushed, he thought, and her eyes are sparkling with excitement and challenge. So beautiful. This is my wife, my family.
"We will work it out. I am sure that your possessions are in my quarters as we speak. Jim is thoughtful like that. As much as it pains me to admit it, he is a good friend, though quite pompous at times."
Laughing Autumn shook her head, "You can be a little over confident at times also, Spock."
"I am not over confident, I am sure, there is quite a difference."
"Riiighttt."
"There is!"
"What ever you say, Commander. Still, it'll save us from having to move all of my things. Though it's kind of uncomfortable thinking about someone going through all my stuff."
"I am sure Uhura was involved and you know how she is. She would never let someone violate your privacy, or mine. Perhaps even the new Non-Human Specialist Lea Archer. Kirk is trying to find new ways to sweet talk her. It it pathetic really."
"I think she's sweet. All to ladies are so jealous because Jim can't keep his eyes off of her. She's just trying to fit in and not draw undue attention to herself. And people do all kinds of crazy things for love, like Pon Farr."
Spock's eyes smoldered when he looked at her and his voice dropped deeper, "You enjoyed that."
Autumn laughed, "You bet that sweet little ass of yours I did. And you say that happens every seven years? Even after you're mated, married?"
"Yes."
"Fantastic! Though, next time, lets skip the hissy fits, not really you style."
Hissy fits? Pms'ing? What was he going to do with her? "Agreed"