Honestly Speaking

I wasn't even fully out of the classroom before the class erupted in undiluted chaos. I mean, really. Couldn't they have waited at least two more seconds for the door to shut firmly behind me?

No. Of course not.

I just had to hear Sirius Bloody Black's stupidly grinning face say, "Hear that, mate? Looks like you've won her over, after all!"

Won me over? Won me over!

I'll tell you who's one me over. The devil, that's who. I'm willing to make a deal with the devil to bring down Sirius Grinning Black.

I'm serious.

I was so busy fuming about the whole ordeal that I didn't know someone followed me out of the potions room. If, once again, I had any skill what so ever in divination, I would have known to keep running straight up to my dorm.

Unfortunately for me, I have no such skills.

Or luck, for that matter.

And, on top of that, I don't run much. Needless to say I didn't make it very far before I (unknowingly) decided that it was safe for me to stop running. That's why it was so easy for him to catch up to me.

And why the potion hadn't worn off yet.

"You alright?"

"No."

Stupid bloody git. He was still smiling like an idiot!

Can you believe that?

I can.

I wanted desperately to be out of ear shot by the time he could think up some more humiliating questions to ask me while I still couldn't control my mouth.

I was almost positive the whole knickers thing was going to come up again.

As if that wasn't enough. As if I needed anymore problems thrown at me. Phase two of Project Ruin Lily's Life commenced later that evening.

All I wanted was a little peace and quiet. That's all. Why was it that my friends couldn't even leave me to shower in peace?

Oh yeah. That's right. Because I admitted that I fancy James Potter in front of the entire Advanced Potions class!

"If you fancy him, just tell him."

Ladies and Gentleman, my mad friend Samantha.

Does she even value the sanctity of our very special friendship a little, tiny speck?

Clearly she does not.

I asked her this, but she pretended I hadn't even opened my mouth.

"I'm just saying that you should tell him," she continued on.

I made a point of getting her wet when I snapped the shower curtain fully closed after opening it a crack to make a face at her.

"And besides," I added indignantly, "who says I fancy Potter anyway?" Of course, everyone knew after the humiliating truth potion incident. I fumed for a moment, remembering the way that my tongue defied me and spat out "James Potter" while I urged it not to move. The memory burned me more than the scalding I got from someone flushing a toilet.

That is one downfall to living in a castle like Hogwarts. The plumbing leaves a lot to be desired.

"I say you use it to your advantage." This time it was my friend Alexandra.

I chose to ignore her and instead said, "I thought you already left for dinner. Aren't you going to be late for your date with Stan from Ravenclaw?" as I turned off the shower.

Stan the Man. That's what he called himself. She thinks I make it up, but she'll eventually figure out that it is indeed the case.

While I was groping blindly for my towel, Alex simply said, "He can wait. This is more interesting anyway."

Samantha, Alexandra and I have been good friends nearly our entire time at Hogwarts, mostly because we were placed in the same house.

That was about to change. Friends? I don't need friends.

Not friends like those two idiots, anyway.

Finally dry and wrapped in my towel, I stepped out of the shower and over to the sinks where my two newly ex-friends who didn't yet know they were my ex-friends were putting on make up.

I finally gave in and asked. "How could I possibly use it to my advantage?"

Alex smiled knowingly at my reflection in the mirror. "You'll figure it out, I'm sure."

I'll figure it out? Really? That's not even really advice, is it? You can't just go around saying things like you've got a brilliant plan and then say , "oh, you'll figure it."

That's about as insane as making seventeen year olds brew and use bloody truth potions!

"Thanks a bunch," I said snarkily as I walked out into our dormitory.

We were definitely not friends anymore.

I let the two of them know, but they didn't really seem to mind.

Bunch of loons, anyway.

Now, not only do I have insane non-friends, a public admitting of fancy, and a headache, I also have some vague "use it to your advantage" crap.

What does that even mean?

For the love of all that is good in the world, I wish that I could say the madness stopped there.

I think we all know it didn't.

I still had to go to dinner.

And then I had to go do patrols.

With James.

Bloody hell.

After rushing through dinner to avoid provocation from my dear, although loon-ish, non-friends, I hid in the dorm for a while contemplating all of the big questions in life?

Why me? Why was Sirius Black born? How could I kill him? Ect, ect.

I couldn't put it off anymore. It had to be done. I was Head Girl, for goodness sake. I couldn't hide in my room like a third year whose best mate just blabbed which bloke she liked. And besides, I did the blabbing myself. After a full day of purposefully avoiding one James Potter, I had to go down and see him.

Oh, why does the universe hate me? Is it because I always fudge my astronomy charts? The heavens are finally going against me for all of my faked homework and lack of understanding how to use a telescope to admire their infinite beauty.

I'm sorry, heavens. I'll try harder, I promise! I will gaze forever at your … well, infinite beauty, I guess.

I trudged down the stairs one at a time. It was reminiscent of a funeral march, honestly speaking. I had to convince my stupid legs and my stupid feet to go. I had to convince my hand to let go of the banister, and I had to convince my eyes to stay open, because, lets be honest here, the last thing I needed was to fall down the stairs and break my neck in front of James Potter.

Maybe I did need to break my neck? That would certainly solve my problems.

I panicked. I'll admit to anyone who asks. I panicked on the very last step. He was leaning against the wall reading a piece of parchment. He wasn't even looking at me and I panicked.

After taking a second to talk myself down (don't worry, Lily. Everything will be ok. You will kill Sirius Black and wipe the idiotic grin off his face forever.), I proceeded to walk forward to meet him.

Apparently, the Heavens and their infinite beauty did not accept my apology.

In fact, I do believe they now have it out for me.

Did I mention that I stopped on the last step when I stopped?

That's right, I forgot I was on a step and I took a step forward.

And then I fell.

I fell straight into James Potter.

A/N: Next chapter will include awkward rounds, and we will finally find out what "predicament" all of this bad luck is leading up to. Exciting stuff, no?

As a side note, I was so excited to find my red swingline stapler (like the one from Office Space!) that I called my fiancé and left him a voicemail at work quoting the movie. "I…I.. I do believe…I believe you have my stap..stapler." We are so watching that movie tonight.

Enjoy your weekend!