It Just Had To Be Him

Chapter Two: Lavi

He isn't surprised. He probably saw it coming before they did, really. While he can't pinpoint exactly where it began, the handholding and little looks were hard not to notice, though everyone else seemed to have done their best to ignore it. But ignoring information is not the job of a Bookman. He probably couldn't have even if he tried, but he pretends not to notice for as long as they do. A Bookman is not an instigator, either.

It makes sense in a lot of ways. They are both kind of adorable, of course, and he is sure that their combined forces will leave the entire Order with diabetes just from watching them. The way they talk over lunch, flushing lightly after every little thing the other one says, thinking that no one can see their fingers interlocking under the table. It is very close to physically painful to watch. It's almost annoying, but how can he possibly begrudge them for it when they look so damn happy over nothing? Besides, they do complement each other damn near perfectly. Allen needs someone to slap him out of his self-sacrificing tendencies and remind him that he as a person is important. Lenalee needs someone who she can trust to never leave her, somehow always managing to come back when he should logically be dead or gone many times over. It just makes sense.

It's also unfair in a lot of ways. Allen has barely been here more than a year, yet he's the only person to ever attain the kind of feelings from ther that every other man in the Order (perhaps some of the women too) have been pining over for years. When Lavi joined, he had kind of suspected that if anyone, it would be Kanda. They had some sort of history after all, and Kanda clearly treated her differently than he did everyone else. But those feelings never seemed to branch out into romantic interest (and Kanda would kill him for speculating over it anyway). Then Allen joined. And all of a sudden, after no time at all, she was trusting him as if he'd been there for years. Acting like he had always been with them. And yeah, Lavi had liked the kid, but he was still the naive newbie of the group. Lenalee never treated him that way. They seemed to bond almost instantly.

Lavi has mused over the subject quite a few times; comes with being a Bookman. Always looking, always thinking, always going off on mental tangents. There's just something about Allen that seems to draw people in. He has made some enemies due to his controversial views, and more thanks to having a damn Noah inside of him (but that's a whole other issue entirely, and Lavi tries to keep them separate), but when it comes down to it, the kid is just a likeable guy. It's probably not all that surprising that Lenalee fell for him, and it sure as hell isn't a surprise that he fell for her (join the club, buddy, we have care packages).

It is a relief, in some ways, because now it seems safe to admit that he was feeling some things for her that he shouldn't have been feeling. It is also painful for that reason, but he can recognize that it's for the better. He could never be what Allen is to her, and it's not his place to try. Not his place to care either way, really, but he never claimed to be perfect at his job. She deserves someone who isn't afraid of attachment, and can always really be there for her. Lavi is convinced that Allen can do that, other issues be damned. As far as anyone really deserving her goes… well, Allen's probably the closest that anyone can ever get.

But really, these kids. They almost act like ten-year-olds who have discovered that they "like like" each other. Lavi watches Allen falter for a moment before leaning over slightly to whisper something in her ear. Lenalee beams, pulling back to giggle a bit before momentarily resting her head against his and whispering something back (Lavi could tell, if he wanted to, but something tells him that the knowledge would make him want to bang his head against the table for one reason or another).

Okay, they do act like ten-year-olds. But they quite clearly are not.

They're both uncharacteristically chipper one morning, avoiding eye contact with one another but staring when the other isn't looking, and Lavi assumes that they've had sex. That's natural, for a couple their age, and while he isn't entirely sure how he feels about it he grins and claps Allen on the back in a congratulatory manner anyway. Then he throws his arm over Allen's shoulder and takes him aside, because Lavi is not entirely convinced that Allen has had The Talk and if the poor bastard gets Lenalee pregnant he will be dead so fast and in so many ways that he won't even have time to contemplate offing himself first. While Lavi does not particularly relish the idea of explaining birth control to him (god damn this is going to be awkward, Lavi can be academic but he is fairly sure that Allen can't), someone has to.

"You look awfully happy this morning. Somethin' happen?" Yep, the kid's blushing already. This is going to be unpleasant for all involved.

"Ah, kind of." Allen rubs the back of his head embarrassedly, glancing back down the hallway as if searching for an escape route. Nope, not getting away that easy. Lavi tightens his hold, accidentally knocking their heads together, which prompts a complaint from Allen and really, who do you think he's doing this for? A little gratitude, maybe?

He'll just cut to the chase then.

"Look, we need to have a little chat about the birds an' the bees an' all. I'm sure you two have figured out most of it, but I just wanna clear up a couple points for ya." Allen's expression is completely and totally uncomprehending. How is it possible that this guy got laid? He grew up with Cross, didn't he? Surely he at least knows the basics.

"Birds and the…?" At once Allen's face goes from confusion to abject horror, and Lavi realizes that he must have misinterpreted something. "Lavi!" Allen shoves away from him, flushing like mad and looking more than a little offended. "We didn't, I would never— we just kissed! That's it!"

…Really. These kids.

"You kissed," he replies blankly. He stares at Allen for a moment. "Ya just now kissed? As in, for the first time?"

Allen fidgets, clearly uncomfortable. Lavi thinks that the poor guy would have probably just ignored him entirely if he weren't afraid of giving an entirely false impression about the whole thing. "Well, we… kind of had, but… not on the lips."

This boy is hopeless. He's actually avoiding eye contact and smiling self-consciously about that.

Lavi feels the need to remind Allen that he is in fact sixteen, but god damn it the guy looks so pleased about the whole thing that Lavi doesn't have it in him.

"If I haven't died of old age by the time you two get past that, remind me to tell ya some things."