Title: To Brave the Darkness
Disclaimer: I don't own anything about Sailor Moon
Authors Notes: Alright everyone, here's the next chapter. I hope you all like it. Thanks for all the reviews. We've still got a ways to go until the end, so hang in there. There's more action to come! Also, I've created a facebook page for myself (I know, I'm behind the times a little.) Feel free to add me! I'm love getting to know everyone here. I'd like to start sharing the stories everyone else likes. I like reading as much as writing, so please tell me what your favorite stories are.
The journey was long and hard. Serenity, who had done very little traveling before, found herself unable to relax as they made their way across the beautiful Kingdom towards Endymion. She hadn't seen him since the morning after Raye's birthday dinner.
She could still picture how he had looked at her that morning, so sincere and longing. Every time she saw his stormy blue eyes in her mind she wondered if she had made the right decision.
But even now they were heading towards another one of his 'business trips' to witness him with another woman. It had only taken a few days for him to decide to leave again.
Serenity closed her eyes against the bright sunlight as they rode through the day. She tried to think of something else, anything else, but couldn't. She could only think of him. Compared to her old life, this one seemed so free and clear, even with the threat of her stepfather. None of it would have been possible without Endymion.
She cursed herself for not being able to forget about him. She had thought it would be easier to push him away and let him go back to his old life. He certainly seemed to enjoy it. But it was harder. Instead of being grateful for whatever friendship he might offer, she was worried that he was with someone else. She had no right.
She fell asleep, fitfully, halfway through the afternoon, and when she awoke hours later, it was already dark.
Raye smiled at her. "You should try to get cleaned up as much as possible," she said handing her a brush. "We should be arriving soon."
Serenity looked out the window. The King's palace was in the distance, but not as far as it usually was. From Raye's home, you could just make out the glimmer of the highest peaks so far in the distance you might think it were a mirage. Now, the palace loomed up above the city in all it's glory, less then a few hours journey away. From here it looked so real. Serenity had never in any part of her life had anything to do with the King or his Kingdom. Other than being a citizen, she had never been exposed to any of it.
And now she was hoping to speak with him.
Her stomach turned in knots at the idea and she had to focus on staying calm. The powerful man seemed like her last hope for freedom and he could simply ignore her request if it suited him. Just because he was rumored to be a good and kind man, didn't mean he was.
They arrived only a quarter of an hour later, and Serenity was dismayed to see the extravagant house in front of them. For some reason, she thought that the wealth of a woman's family may induce Endymion to stay a little longer.
They were admitted immediately. Raye's family name, although unused for a while, was respected enough that they were not made to wait outside. The servant lead them to a sitting room and they were given refreshments as the family, and their guest Lord Endymion, were listening to the youngest daughter on her pianoforte.
"This family has been very well respected for many generations," Raye explained. "My father used to do business here. I believe Endymion has been a personal friend of theirs for some time."
Serenity hesitated before asking the question that was plaguing her. "The daughter, who is entertaining them. Is she of the age of womanhood?"
"No," Raye said, momentarily giving Serenity relief. But then she continued. "But he has four other daughters to choose from."
Serenity inwardly recoiled, but made her best effort not to make a move on the outside. She didn't want Raye to think she was still sulking over his absence, even though it was clear her friend already knew.
After nearly half an hour, an older man walked in. He immediately looked at Raye as if he were seeing his long lost daughter for the first time in many years. Emotion washed over his face.
"My dearest child," he said to Raye warmly, immediately taking her into his embrace.
Raye smiled affectionately. "I am sorry I have not kept up our relationship."
Serenity was set at ease by this old man. He had gentle, green eyes that sparkled with sincerity, and his graying hair gave him a kind and soft appearance. He was a little on the plump side, but held himself extremely well.
Her comfort was short lived, as Endymion walked in directly after, followed by another man of about his age.
Serenity looked at him, meeting his gaze for a moment, before immediately looking away. Her cheeks heated into a blush, and she felt both guilt and pleasure at seeing him again.
"This is my cousin, Serenity," Raye said as introduction.
"A pleasure to meet you my dear," he said warmly. "Come, I must introduce you. This here is my son, Andrew."
Andrew, who was very handsome with the same green eyes as his father and blonde hair, smiled warmly at her. "It is a pleasure to meet you Lady Serenity. Endymion has told me of you and I am glad I am able to meet you."
She blushed a little more at his attention. "The pleasure is mine."
"What is it that brings you all this way?" The older man asked Raye.
Raye smiled, a little ashamed. "I wish I could say that I came simply to see my father's old friend, but it would be a lie that I would not wish to tell. I came to speak to Endymion. He has been away from home longer than I thought he might be, and I have urgent business to discuss with him."
Serenity couldn't look at him.
"But you will stay, at least for a few nights?"
"If it would please you, we shall be honored," Raye immediately answered.
Serenity wanted to refuse, but she wouldn't dare go against Raye. So she simply smiled, hoped they weren't making a mistake, and pretended she was Raye's cousin staying for a visit.
But she could feel Endymion looking at her, and it took all her concentration not to return his gaze.
After the usual pleasantries, Raye requested that they commandeer the use of an office or spare sitting room to speak with Endymion privately, before rejoining the rest of the party. Her request was granted at once, and they were shown into a small sitting room.
As soon as the door was closed, Endymion let go of all pretense of politeness and quickly began questioning them.
"What's wrong?"
"We're sorry to have to spring on you like this Endymion," Raye said. "I didn't have time to send you a letter."
"Just tell me what's happened."
"There are guards posted at your house. Serenity's stepfather has been given the help of the King to search for his fiancé. I think they mean to arrest you for your part in her disappearance."
Serenity looked at him then, but his gaze was not afraid. He looked strong and intense, and perfectly collected.
"They said as much?"
"The man who came to my door last night was of the imperial guard. He was looking for both you and Serenity. They think you're keeping her."
"And the King stands behind him," he said more to himself.
"He can't know the situation. We thought if we could find a way to see him…"
"No," Endymion said quickly, his face a little surprised at her request. "There is no way I can go to the king."
Serenity looked at him disappointment. "You won't help?"
His gaze was calm and she couldn't read what he might be thinking of her in that moment. She wanted to know more about his reaction to what she had said than anything else. But he was giving away nothing.
Serenity was afraid that she might have ruined her one chance of getting away from her stepfather once and for all by rejecting Endymion. But the idea that he might no longer care for her hurt more than that. She was not afraid that he wouldn't help, more so that he didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore.
She knew it was stupid. She was the one who had rejected him. By refusing him, she had given him every right to move on.
Despite herself, she felt tears come to her eyes at the thought and she realized that she really wished she could trust him. She had never been in love before so she didn't know how to react, but she was sure she loved him. She would tell him so, if only she could be sure he wouldn't break her heart like he had a hundred women before her.
"Endymion, if we can't see the King, Serenity will be caught and forced to marry him."
Serenity tried to force herself not to let the tears fall from her eyes, but it was hard considering all the stress of the moment.
His gazed softened, ever so slightly as he looked at her. "Your upset," he said softly.
Serenity wasn't sure if it were a question or not. She steadied herself, searching for some sort of answer. "Of course I'm upset," she said, her voice cracking. "I don't ever want to go back there."
"After all of this, he wouldn't be able to keep you locked away anymore. The whole kingdom knows about you and would ask questions if you were never seen."
Serenity couldn't believe what he had just said. "You think I should go back to him because it might not be as bad as it was before?"
He didn't react to her obvious surprise. She felt as if the suggestion had torn right through her. Having him no longer care for her was one thing, but having him try to convince her to go back to her stepfather meant he probably hated her.
She clenched her fists at her sides, trying not to let her emotions take over. "I would rather die than let that man touch me."
"You let me touch you," he said, his eyes blazing into hers. "How is this any different?"
"How dare you," Serenity seethed. "I went to you for help."
"Endymion, what are you doing?" Raye asked, her eyes concerned.
"I'm just trying to figure out our little friend's intentions."
"I've already told you what I want," she answered tersely.
"You told me you want to be free, and then you consider marrying the first man you see."
"You're angry because I was willing to marry to stay away from my stepfather?"
"I'm angry because you're so blinded by your fear of that man that you can't see any of the answers right in front of you."
"So this is about me not choosing you," she said, almost yelling. "You can't stand the fact that I had no interest in becoming one of your many girls, hoping against hope that you'll stay with me despite all the evidence proving you won't. I'm not innocent Endymion. I know that following my heart could lead somewhere darker than I have ever been before. The difference between you and my stepfather is I never loved him."
The air stilled. Serenity could feel Raye looking at her in bewilderment.
Endymion's anger seemed to vanish, and he looked at her with hopeful eyes. "You love me?" He whispered, as if he were afraid of the answer.
Serenity realized her mistake at once. Telling him she was drawn to him, even desired him, was one thing. Telling the man who could easily break her heart that she was in love with him was another thing entirely.
She wished she could take it back. It didn't make any difference. She loved him, and she knew it, but she still couldn't trust him. She wanted so badly to be with him, but she refused. She would rather be married to a complete stranger than give herself to Endymion, only to feel her heart shattered when he couldn't stay faithful to her.
But she couldn't lie and take it back now, so instead, she didn't say anything.
When he stepped towards her, she stepped back.
"Serenity," he said in a hushed voice.
"Just…don't," she said, feeling exhausted. "I'm sorry for coming here tonight. Raye convinced me that we had to try. It was obviously a mistake."
"Don't say that," Endymion pleaded, his voice filled with emotion.
"We'll have to find another way to see the King," Serenity said, looking at Raye. "Maybe, once he's heard my name, he'll see us before the rest in waiting. Maybe he'll be kind enough to want to hear my side of the story."
Raye glanced back at Endymion, but Serenity refused to look at him.
Raye nodded. "I'll make the arrangements. I'll put our name in first thing in the morning."
Endymion didn't say anything as he watched her. She could feel his eyes on her, searing through her. She felt like crying. Part of her wanted so desperately to turn around and just be with him, but she was too afraid of being hurt. She didn't know how much more hurt she could take in her life. If everything went wrong, and she ended up back with her stepfather, she wouldn't stand for it. She'd let the King sentence her to death before she went back there.
"Should I go?" Raye asked, a little unsure as she looked at her two friends.
Serenity shook her head. "I think it's best that I go."
As she took a step away from him, toward the door, Endymion reached out and gently took her hand in his.
She looked at him then, knowing the tears had started to fall from her eyes.
"Endymion, don't try to promise me something you know you might not be able to keep."
He looked like he wanted to answer her, but he didn't. He held her hand in his for a moment, and then let it drop.
Serenity turned, and with Raye, walked out of the room.
As soon as they were away from him, Raye immediately seemed concerned.
"Serenity, I had no idea your feelings for him were so strong. I assumed you liked him more than you told me, but I didn't think it was love."
Serenity sighed, feeling tired. "It doesn't matter Raye," Serenity said. "I can love him as strongly as my heart wants, but it won't change the fact that he is who he is."
"He said he wanted to change."
"And yet here he is, staying in a house with a respectable man with daughters for him to choose from."
"This isn't the same kind of situation. Endymion would never corrupt these girls. They're practically family to him."
Serenity shook her head. "I want to believe him."
"Then believe him."
Serenity looked at her friend as they rounded the corner to stop in the main hallway. There were lights on in the room to their left, and Serenity knew they would be expected. "You're asking me to let go of everything I know about him and just trust him?"
"Has he ever lied to you?"
"I don't know," Serenity said. "He may have. He allowed me to come into his room the very first night he spent at my stepfather's house. He allowed me to convince him to touch me."
"You told me yourself that the day after he didn't brag to anyone."
Serenity opened her mouth to answer, and then closed it. He hadn't said a word to anyone. She had to beg him to ruin her. She shook her head. "But he did blackmail me into coming to him again."
"Because you hurt him," Raye argued. "He liked you."
"He didn't know me."
"You didn't know him and you still used him."
Serenity rubbed her eyes, feeling a little frustrated with her friend. She understood that Raye had looked up to Endymion as a brother since they had first met, but that didn't mean he could be trusted. Raye would of course want Endymion to be happy, but it didn't mean she should risk the happiness of her newer friend.
"If I believed he could change, I wouldn't hesitate," Serenity said.
Raye nodded, as if Serenity had just given her an answer. "Then he'll have to find a way to convince you."
"And if he doesn't want too?"
Raye rolled her eyes. "Oh don't be daft Serenity. He's loved you since that night he brought you to me. Never, in my entire life, have I ever seen him so fiercely protective of anyone. He constantly asked how you were doing and he would rush over the moment he returned home every time he went away to make sure you were still there."
Serenity looked at her, confused. "He did?"
"Of course he did," Raye said. "I could tell Endymion was in love with you because I've never seen it on him before. He has no idea how to hide it."
"Even if that were true Raye, I still can't trust him."
"Fine," Raye said. "I understand why you would hesitate. We'll just have to find a way to change that."
"I've had enough of this Raye," Serenity said, heading towards the stairs. "I can't sit up and talk about this any longer. Endymion can feel whatever he wants for me, but I can't give into him without risking everything I've worked hard to achieve. He would be worth it, but I'm not ready for it."
Raye leaned against the rail, watching her walk up the stairs. "You're missing something that's right in front of you."
"I need to speak to the King first," Serenity said. "Then I can worry about Endymion."
She met a servant in the hallway and was escorted to her room.
She all but collapsed on the bed, no longer fighting the tears from falling down her cheeks. Endymion couldn't love her. If he had, he wouldn't have continued sleeping with any girl he could find while she was only a short walk away, living with his best friend. He wouldn't have brought Anne to his rooms that night. He wouldn't have rushed away the moment she denied him.
She curled up, feeling small and alone. She was pulled from all sides, stretched thin with stress. It seemed like she was afraid of everything. She was afraid of the King. She was afraid of her stepfather. She was afraid of failing. She was afraid that her future may happen without Endymion in it.
That thought, above all others, made her sad.
End of Chapter Ten! Please review. Join me on Facebook! Just look for Jordan Frost. My profile picture is a girl standing with a violin.