Nihlus sat on one side of Sonya on the sofa in the Loft, while Garrus sat on the other. The Normandy was hiding inside an asteroid until the FTL drives had time to cool. The path to the Council and Alliance base was a convoluted mess in order to make it difficult to be tracked or followed. It was one of many. With the Council and the Alliance underground, hope for survival of all the races was kept alive. Nihlus had just thought about the idea that Kelly had inspired. As he sat staring over at Garrus who stared back at him with just as much frustration, the answer was decidedly a definite and resound 'no'. More correctly, he had come to the result only seconds after Kelly had left the med-bay and it was more along the lines of a 'no fucking way in bloody hell am I going to share my life mate with anyone!' He'd bit his tongue as he ground his teeth, seething in anger.
Nihlus glanced at Sonya. It was still difficult to look at her without thinking of her being intimate with Garrus and Thane and feeling hostile about it, but in his heart he had found a way to forgive her. Forgetting would take time, but he could understand. He had been with many more, but he had not loved them. Perhaps that is what hurt him, but it didn't matter now. Since the three had convened for this meeting at Sonya's request, hardly a word had been spoken. They all knew the question; 'Who was Sonya's rightful life mate?' It was a difficult one to answer. If they had been human the problem may have been easier to solve. 'Until death do you part', were the most common vows given at a human joining ceremony. Nihlus had died, so the bond would have been severed and Sonya would be free to be with Garrus, resurrection or no. But as turians, they took no vows and so the subject was a rather un-resolvable one. There were no rules or laws for such a thing. People weren't regularly raised from the dead. So there they sat, glowering, worrying, angry and afraid of loosing someone dear to them.
"So tell me what I've missed." Nihlus said, attempting to ease into the other conversation or avoid it.
"Well, merc activity has dropped off the charts. That's one nice thing the Reapers have done. Either scared them off, strait or killed them. Pirates and slavers too. At first the slavers tried to make a deal with them. Bring them bodies in exchange for favor. Didn't turn out the way they'd hoped. I guess the Reapers are done talkin'." Garrus explained glowering at him the whole time.
"Did you tell the Council off when the Reapers showed up?" Nihlus asked Sonya, mandibles spread in a tentative grin.
"I didn't have to. Anderson had rubbed their noses in it so hard, by the time I got there you would have thought I was the unbeliever." She offered a smile in return. Her fingers flexed nervously.
Nihlus chuckled. Anderson always did have a bit of a fire in him. It was something he admired in humans. Something he admired in her. Something he loved about her. He moved his hand to hold hers. He stopped himself when a low growl rumbled in Garrus' chest.
"But by then it was too late. That was one of the reasons they voted to destroy the Citadel, to prevent them from finding a way to activate the station. If we loose this war, they will probably rebuild it." Sonya continued, ignoring Garrus' possessive display.
"We're not going to loose, Sonya." Nihlus said.
He looked at her sternly as if she'd commented blasphemy.
"Everyone else has so far. Sure we had a heads up from the Protheans, but it doesn't due anyone any good if nobody listens before it's too late." Sonya pointed out.
"I understand, though I really doubt that anyone before us destroyed the Citadel. That has to count for something." Nihlus shrugged.
"Does it? I wonder." Sonya said softly.
Nihlus sighed with frustration. He hadn't been there to see the destruction and the death and chaos. He hand't lived it. She had. There was nothing he could say or do that was going to make much of a difference in the conversation, but he tried anyway.
"The Prothean could have survived if they had more power or more bases like the one on Ilos. A hidden population. Their leaders died. Ours still live. We stopped Sovereign. There must be a way to stop Harbinger and the others as well."
"The last time I spoke with TIM, he alluded to the possibility that the Collector base may hold technology that could adapt our weapons and shields to be more formidable, but there are no guarantees. They need to run a few tests, but no one is willing to die if they don't work. I can't risk the Normandy. She's too important." Sonya told him.
"Wait, what?" Nihlus stopped her from continuing with a shake of his head and a hard stair.
"The Collector base was destroyed. You said you defeated them. What are you talking about?"
Sonya looked at him with wide eyes, realizing what she foolishly let slip out of her mouth. His bright green eyes bored holes into her from within the white mask. She wondered how she was ever going to explain this without incurring anger and disappointment.
"I, uhm... We didn't destroy the base, only the Collectors. TIM suggested that there might be information hidden within it that could help us. Turned out he was right! Ha ha!"
She smiled and laughed nervously.
"I can't believe you agreed to that. Maybe a good choice in hindsight, but..."
He shook his head again, then a light seemed to go off in his mind and the expression on his face changed to an amalgamation of so many things, she wasn't sure whether to run and hide or shoot him, or hold him.
"You traded the base for my life, so they would bring me back... didn't you?"
It wasn't a question. All she could do was nod. After a moment his face softened and his piercing stair eased into a gentle gaze.
"You didn't deserve this." He said and looked at her dark eyes and pale face with a furrowed brow.
"None of us did." She said back.
Nihlus looked away to the empty fish tank. His mandibles flexed a few times, then he chuckled.
"I meant to get you some fish for that thing on Illium." He grinned in his turian way. "It was one of my last laments before..."
He trailed off and looked down at his talons firmly clasped together in his lap. Then a soft warmth from a gentle touch on his arm gave him cause to hesitate and glance back at her. In the dim light and blue casts of dancing shadows from the tanks, she looked as lovely as ever in his eyes despite what time and immense stress had done to her.
"I'm so sorry, Nihlus." She said, then took her hand away from him.
He realized she was preparing to move the conversation forward to the topic he'd hoped to postpone.
"I don't want you two ready to kill each other over this." Sonya nearly whispered. "I want you both to know that I don't love one of you more or less than the other."
"Got it." Garrus mumbled.
Nihlus nodded.
"Technically I was her mate first." Nihlus pointed out.
"Technically," Garrus glared at the white faced turian, "you were dead!"
Nihlus bared his teeth and growled. Sonya immediately stood up between them before they could jump at each other's throats.
"Boys! Boys! Please! No fighting, no arguing. It doesn't matter who was first. That's not what this is about!"
"We know what it's about." Garrus said. "It's about you making a choice."
He averted his eyes tot he floating orb on the low table. The room fell silent again for a long time. Sonya sat back down doing her best to avoid making physical contact with either of them.
"If we had kept our emotions in check, none of this would have happened." Garrus said, still staring at the sphere.
Sonya wondered what he was thinking, or remembering.
"Nihlus is right." Garrus announced, his eyes did not move as he nodded toward the Spectre. "His is the bond that should be honored.""Shouldn't that be my choice?" Sonya objected.
"Do you no long wish to be with me?" Nihlus asked.
He kept his face and his voice calm, but inside his love for her screamed in agony at the idea of loosing her and having to see her every day with someone else. To make it worse it would be a friend an a fellow turian. If her new mate had been human, or even Thane, it might have been easier.
"No... I..." Sonya sighed and fell against the back of the sofa. "It's not fair to me to have to make a choice, but it's not fair to either of you not to. If I choose neither..."
They both looked at her with wide eyes as if the idea was absurd.
"Then..." She continued, ignoring their stars, "everyone is hurt. If I choose one over the other, one if not both people may loose a friend. I won't accept that. So what do the two of you expect me to do? I have no win/win options here."
They didn't have an answer for her. She was right, and apparently the only one really thinking clearly. Garrus' eyes fell to his knees. Nihlus stood and went over to the fish tank, clasping his hands behind his back. The tank was empty and it's void waters reminded him of the gifts he'd meant to purchase for her. A tear wet his eye and he blinked it back. Spectre's do not cry.
"I release you from our bond, Sonya." He said.
"What?" Sonya breathed in disbelief and horror.
Sonya rose quickly from her seat, her face suddenly pale. Garrus' eyes flew up from where they bored into his knees to look at the back of Nihlus' head in surprise.
"I died. You bonded with another for legitimate reasons. I cannot ask you to break that union for me." Nihlus said.
He lowered his head after he'd delivered his relent. He could almost hear Sonya's silent tears. It tore his heart out. A few days ago, in his mind, she was his life mate and nothing could come between them. His pain was cumulative of five years since that day. He could not express that agony here. He left the room without looking at them, without letting them see his face. Sonya called after him and he quickened his pase so that the elevator doors would close behind him before she would have a chance to stop him. He managed to hold back his rage and the tears until he could seclude himself in the main cargo hold on the hanger bay deck. There was nothing he could destroy there.