A/N: Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter. I really appreciate the feedback. This next chapter starts out pretty angsty but then there is some levity at the end with a situation that I have been thinking about how straight-laced Booth would have responded. It will be broken up in three parts that will be posted over the next three days. Let me know what you think. Thanks!
Chapter 5: The Treatment is Worse than the Disease-Part 1
Week 1 after treatment
Booth leaned back against the outside wall of his bathtub, having just vomited the Sprite he had tried to drink about 20 minutes ago. This had become the spot where he spent the most time over the last couple of days ever since his chemotherapy treatment.
After the treatment was over, he was surprised at how exhausted he was, how deeply the fatigue had set into this body and he hadn't even done anything. He had to put his arm around Brennan's shoulder to steady himself as they walked out of the infusion room after the two hours it took for the treatment to be over. He didn't even have the energy to make a quip about Brennan driving as they drove back to his apartment. When they got back, Brennan convinced him to stay up with her a little longer and watch a movie so his sleep cycle was not too disturbed.
It wasn't until the next day that his stomach revolted against him.
That was four days ago and since then, he had not kept anything down and according to the scale, had already lost 13 pounds. While Dr. Liao had warned him that he would be experiencing the worst side effects of the chemotherapy in the week immediately after his chemotherapy, he had not been prepared for how completely crappy he felt. The chemotherapy was wreaking havoc with his body. Not only could he not keep anything down, but he also had pretty bad diarrhea, so it was coming out on both ends. The fatigue he felt was bone deep and while he was talking about his bones, he felt a constant pain there as well as the chemotherapy attacked his bone marrow, one of the other rapidly dividing cells in his body currently under siege. He just hoped that the cancer cells currently circulating throughout his body were being equally affected by the treatment.
Not only was the chemotherapy affecting his body, but also the drugs he was taking for the pain and nausea made him feel like he was in a fog. All he wanted to do was sleep and he had taken more naps in the past couple of days than he had in the previous 10 years. While the pain medication helped a little but he didn't know why he was still taking the nausea medication. It obviously wasn't helping.
Another thing he noticed was that his baldhead remained that way, with not one hair growing back. He was Italian and was used to having thick hair and a lot of it. But he noticed that not only did his normally fast growing hair not grow back, his arm and leg hair were also thinner than they were before. Seeing his leg and arm hair in the shower drain made him happy that he decided to shave his head before the treatment; one less thing to clean up. He ran his hands over his head and the startling thing about not having any hair was he could feel the scar on the back of his head from where they had taken out the tumor that had started this whole thing. Booth sighed as he sat back against the tub and closed his eyes, trying to stop the world from spinning unnecessarily. Just another chunk of heaven. And he had to do it five more times.
He heard the door to the bathroom open and felt her come and sit down next to him. He didn't know what he would do without her silent support. Every time he woke up during the night and needed his pain medication, she was there with the pills and a glass of water. When he didn't make it to the bathroom, she was there to reassure him and help him clean up. And when he was exhausted, she sat in the corner of the room and silently worked on her book, the striking of the keys lulling him into sleep.
"How are you feeling, Booth?" she asked as he felt her hand on her arm and her nails comfortably moving back and forth against his forearm. He was thankful for her touch; it grounded him in a world that was currently spinning uncomfortably around him.
He turned to look at her and saw the exhaustion in her face as well. He knew that it wasn't easy for her to watch him be so sick but she never turned from him and was very attentive to all his needs. During the night, every four hours like clockwork, she woke him up so he could take his steroid and pain medication and before she went to work in the morning, she laid out all the pills he would need during the day. She even called him multiple times during the day, subtly reminding him to take his medication but he knew she was also calling to check up on him. Luckily, today was Saturday and she did not go into the office today, giving him more tender loving care than he had received in a while.
Not yet feeling up to opening his eyes, he answered her, vaguely. "As well as to be expected, I guess."
He did not want to appear weaker in front of her than he already had. Even though it was ridiculous, he still wanted to be her Knight in FBI Standard Issue Body Armor and he knew he was not up to that challenge right now, sitting in the same sweats and Steelers T-shirt he had been in for two days.
She didn't say anything, just continued to stroke his arm. He leaned over and placed his head on her shoulder, grateful to lean against something that was alive and had warmth instead of the side of the cold bathtub. He felt her kiss the top of his baldhead, her lips lingering there for a moment, reassuring him of her love for him. He honestly didn't know if he would make it through this without her constant, unwavering support.
Even the Squints had been supportive. Yesterday when he didn't answer her phone call, Brennan sent Angela over to sit with him until she was able to come home. She brought a movie with her and some awesome green tea, which was the only thing he had been able to keep down in four days. Hodgins had also pitched in and bought him a huge plasma screen TV for him to watch while he was home bound for a while. And while he wanted to object on principle, once he saw it in action, he decided that being grateful and accepting the gift was most definitely the best course of action.
"Do you feel up to going to sit on the couch?" she asked him, her words muffled as she still had them against the top of his head.
He nodded. At his nod, he felt her get up and move to stand in front of him, offering her hand to help him up. He finally opened his eyes and let the world stop spinning. Reaching up to grasp her hand, he was surprised to find that she could pull him up with little effort.
After standing, the world began spinning again and he was afraid he would have make a lung for the toilet. But he felt her rush to his side and pull his arm over her shoulder, steadying him against the dizziness that threatened to take over.
Slowly, they made their way to the couch. She sat down on the far end and helped him lay down on his back with his head in her lap. He grimaced as he noticed the strategically placed bowl at the foot of the couch, there just in case he couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. After a few moments of her softly stroking her hand over his forehead, the comforting motion almost lulled him into sleep.
"Do you want to watch your horses?" she asked. His forehead wrinkled on confusion as he opened his eyes to look at her. The earnest look in her eyes took him by surprise.
"What horses, Bones?" he asked.
"The baseball team. The one on the hat that Parker got you," she answered. It took him a minute to put the pieces together but once he did, he couldn't help the smile that graced his face.
"You mean the Phillies? The Philadelphia Phillies baseball team?" he clarified. She made the "pinchy" face he loved.
"Isn't that what I said?" she asked.
"Sure, Bones. Why don't you turn on the game," he said, shifting to lie on his side, turning his head in her lap.
As the game progressed, she stayed with him the whole time, only getting up to get him his medication. He fell asleep on the couch during the eighth inning, the nausea currently at bay and hopeful that next week would be better than this one.