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Chapter 8: The Burn Out Solution

Brennan stood on the forensic platform, staring at the same bones since she came in this morning four and a half hours ago. Yesterday, Booth received his fifth chemotherapy treatment, which meant this next week was not going to be fun, for either of them.

Last night, he woke up every couple of hours to roll over the side of the bed and vomit into the trashcan she had placed there before they went to sleep for that very reason. And every time, when he turned to her for comfort, shaking with the exhaustion he was experiencing, she was there to help him back to sleep. And she knew this would be the cycle for the next several days, when he would lose anywhere from 5-10 pounds that he would have to gain back in the following two weeks in order to get his last treatment.

"Dr. Brennan, what do you think this anomaly right here is?" Daisy asked her, having absolutely no idea what she was getting into.

"Which one, Ms. Wick? Is it the obvious one right here that I would expect any first year grad student to know, not to mention one of my hand-picked interns or the one right there which is actually a shadow caused by the lighting in the lab rather than any helpful information on the bones? Really, Ms. Wick, I do not have time for this nonsense and I would expect you to be farther along in your education at this point. You might want to re-evaluate whether or not you think you belong at an institution of this caliber because I certainly will when your next performance evaluation comes along."

With that, she snapped off her gloves and stormed off the platform and into her office, leaving Daisy looking heartbroken on the platform. The lab watched the scene, stunned at Brennan's outburst. Angela turned to Hodgins, who she had been talking to at the time, and asked the age old question when it came to Brennan and the squinterns.

"Divide and conquer?"

"Yep," Hodgins replied. "But let me take Dr. B this time and you take Daisy."

Angela's eyebrows shot up; usually she was the one who went to talk to Brennan but if Hodgins wanted to try, she was willing to give him a shot. "You sure?"

"Yeah, just leave your schedule open for tonight. You just made arrangements to go the new event the Jeffersonian is putting on tonight with Dr. B."

"You are going to get Bren away from Booth for a night? You know I have been trying to do that for only the last 4 months, right," Angela, told him, the skepticism and sarcasm heavy in her voice.

"Willing to make it interesting?" Hodgins asked, blatantly flirting with her.

Not one to be intimidated, Angela stepped right up to him, her heeled boots allowing her to be a little bit taller than him. "I'll bet you one home-cooked dinner that you can't get Bren to come out with me tonight."

Hodgins gave her a smirk. "Watch and learn, baby," he said with more confidence than he felt as he walked toward Brennan's office and Angela went to console the now sobbing Daisy on the forensic platform.

"Angela, I don't want to talk about what happened out there right now, okay? I don't need to talk about my feelings, I am just fine," Brennan said when she heard someone walk into her office, thinking it was Angela. She was the only one who usually risked Brennan's wrath after a bad day. And today was definitely a bad day. Her lack of sleep and worry about Booth at home was combining to be a perfect storm of crabbiness.

"Um, definitely not Angela, Dr. B, and I definitely don't want to talk about feelings. It would really hurt my standing as a man," Hodgins started as he stopped in the doorway. Brennan looked up at his statement, slightly embarrassed that she had gotten the male walking into her office confused with her very female best friend.

"I apologize, Dr. Hodgins. Please, come in," she amended and watched as Hodgins strolled into her office and took a seat in one of the chairs that were in front of her desk. "What can I help you with?"

"Well, Dr. B, I actually have more of a favor to ask," Hodgins started, still trying to figure out how exactly he was going to get Dr. B out for the night. "Angela has been trying tot get me to go to this event that the Jeffersonian is hosting tonight but I really, really don't want to go."

"You mean the event where they are bringing in native designers from Argentina? I can't believe you would not want to attend such a rare opportunity to speak with people involved in an art form that has gone back hundreds of years and has been that same way for that long. I had planned on going before…" she trailed off, not wanting to seem like she was blaming Booth for her not attending the event that she desperately wanted to see.

Hodgins gave her his best smile. "That's why you should go with her! Dr. B, the Sixers and the Celtics are playing tonight. I cannot miss this game. I made a bet with Dr. Lewis in the chemistry lab that the Sixers would win and I have to see the game. Can you please go with Ange to this thing tonight?" Hodgins asked, trying to remember the famous Booth charm smile to use, trying everything possible to get Bren out tonight.

This wasn't just so he could win the bet with Ange either. He saw how stressed out she had been ever since Booth got sick and while he admired her for taking care of him and being so devoted to him, Hodgins was convinced she was going to have a meltdown any time now if she didn't get a night off. And if that meant that he had to spend a night with a puking Booth, that's what that meant. Hodgins was shocked that all of the stress had not affected her work yet; it just proved what an amazing anthropologist and professional she was.

Brennan hesitated for a moment, weighing the options before answering. "I'm sorry, Dr. Hodgins but I cannot leave Booth alone right now in the course of his treatment." She really tried to keep the regret and slight resentment out of her voice but she knew that she failed. Feeling horrible, she tried to correct the impression she was sure she had left. "Not that I resent him at all. It is not his fault that he got cancer and needs help."

Hodgins pretended to be upset for a moment at her answer, even throwing in slumping against the back of his chair as part of the act. But in reality he was pausing to see if she would keep talking. If she was going to open up to him, even accidently, he wasn't going to stop her. He was silent for a moment before telling her his solution.

"Hey, Dr. B, why don't I come over tonight and stay with Booth and you go to the event? It'll be great! Booth and I can watch the game and you and Ange can go to the Argentina thing. So what time should I come over?" Hodgins asked, not bothering to let her approve of his idea.

"No, Dr. Hodgins, I don't think you understood me. I cannot leave Booth," she insisted, starting to get a little upset. The lack of sleep was really getting to her, as she was finding she was shorter with people than she normally was.

"No, I heard you, but why can't I stay with Booth for the night?"

"Because you can't okay!" she shouted at him, her already short fuse lighting up. "What if I go out for the night and he gets really sick and I am not there to help him? He gets really sick after these treatments, Hodgins, so sick that I sometimes wonder how he can gather up the necessary courage to go and get the treatment again when he knows exactly what is coming afterward. And I watch as he wastes away before my eyes and there is nothing I can do except be there for him every step of the way. I have this one small way I can help, Hodgins, and I am not going to do anything that might make him think that I am giving up on him because he can't give up. Because if he gives up, then the cancer will start growing in al of his organs and tissues and then he will die. And I can't loss him Hodgins," she finished softly, sinking back down into her chair, exhausted. Realizing she had said a lot, probably too much as far as she was concerned, she wanted to stop but couldn't. She felt better, strangely enough, so she just kept talking.

"I just can't loss him. I do not know what I would do. And I'm scared every time I leave the house in the morning that he won't be there when I get back, that he will die alone in his apartment during the day because of some electrolyte imbalance. Intellectually, I know it is improbable and as a scientist, I know the value of this treatment, that the chemotherapy combined with the radiation give him the best probability for success and a chance to live a normal, healthy life. But as a person, watching someone I love go through this treatment, it is horrible. It makes me feel inadequate as a person and a lover; that I can't help his body fight this and that I can't take any of it away. I just hope what I am doing is enough to compel him to keep fighting," she finally said before she stopped talking, putting her head in her hands in embarrassment.

She couldn't believe that she just unloaded all of her feelings on Hodgins. That had certainly not been her intention but once she started, she found that she just didn't want to stop.

Hodgins sat dumbfounded for a moment; one, that this plan had actually worked, and two, that she had been able to keep all of that to herself for the past five months.

"Dr. B," he started carefully. "Booth knows everything you do for him. He told me so himself a couple of weeks ago at the pool party I had. But he would want you to be healthy too. Because when he gets better, if you are not healthy like he will be, then he would regret it for the rest of his life. He does not want to be seen as a burden to you and he would be angry if he knew that you were not doing things that you wanted to do because of him. So please, do you and me a favor and go to this event with Ange tonight and let me hang out with Booth. After all, this may be the only time I can hang out with him and not worry about him shooting me," Hodgins said with a smile, trying to lighten the heavy mood that had descended upon her office.

It worked, as Brennan cracked a small smile. Thinking for a minute, she finally decided to go. "Okay, Hodgins, I'll go with Angela tonight. Come by Booth's apartment at around 6 pm." With that, she turned back to the file on her desk, feeling she could get some work done for the first time in a while.

"Sounds good, Dr. B," Hodgins said, knowing when he was dismissed and walked out of her office, looking forward to gloating to Angela for the rest of the day. He was definitely King of the Lab.

When Brennan unlocked the front door that night, she opened it to a quiet apartment, the sound of the television playing softly in the background. Walking into the living room, she saw her Booth sprawled out on the couch in his sweats and Flyers sweatshirt, covered by the afghan that was usually over the back of the couch, and his gray beanie upon his head. She smiled at him even though he couldn't see it; he was fast asleep.

"Hey, Dr. B," Hodgins said from the armchair in the room. He had a good night; Booth had enjoyed watching the game and they were able to have a fun 'guys night' despite the fact that Hodgins could tell that Booth was feeling sick most of the night. But he still seemed to have a good time.

Brennan had a good time as well. The event was exactly as interesting as she thought it would be and it was nice to be able to get back to her anthropology roots that she sometimes lost when she worked with Booth and the FBI. And even though she still felt some guilt about leaving Booth for the night, she felt completely refreshed and she knew that she could better care for Booth now that she didn't feel so burned out.

"Thanks for tonight, Hodgins. I had a really good time," she thanked him as he stood out and began to walk toward the door of the apartment.

"It was my pleasure. We had a good time, even though Booth will probably deny it if you asked. Can't be seen having a good time with a loser squint, after all," Hodgins said with a smile as he closed the door of the apartment and went home himself, pleased with the way the night went.

Brennan went over to her sleeping lover, wanting to check on him before she got ready for bed herself. As she walked toward him, he seemed to sense her presence and sleepily opened her eyes, giving her a soft smile as she approached.

"Hey, beautiful," he said, his voice gravelly with sleep. "Did you have a good time tonight?"

"I did," she said as she bent down and pushed his beanie up a little bit so she could press a kiss to his forehead.

"I'm glad you got out tonight, Bones. You have doing such an amazing job taking care of me that you deserve a break. I'm happy that you went," he said.

Brennan nodded, acknowledging his statement before changing the subject. "Did you use your mouthwash tonight?"

"Yep," he replied. "I feel like I could sleep for the next 12 hours."

"Let's go to bed then. I'm going to get ready. Do you need help getting back to the bedroom?" she asked, standing up again.

"Yep," he said as he grabbed her outstretched hand and letting her pull him up, smiling as she wrapped an arm around his waist while he wrapped his around her shoulder, bringing the afghan with them as they made their way to get some sleep.