"Hey boss! I gotta quesh-yon for ya!" Mia's voice was undeniably slurring. Ike carefully composed himself before he turned around the face the drunken sword master, making sure that he wouldn't roll his eyes at whatever she had come up with this time. She had a habit of challenging people to duels to the death when she was drunk, and he really didn't have time to carefully avoid killing his bloodthirsty subordinate.

"What can I help you with, Mia?" He asked, his voice very neutral. He was fairly sure that she couldn't find any way to take offense at that.

She tried hard, though. Her face screwed up as she thought about it. She finally shrugged seeing nothing wrong, and decided to take a different tack to her belligerence.

"Elincia. What do you intend to do about Elincia?" She demanded, stabbing a finger into Ike's chest. He blinked in rather understandable confusion.

"I intend to see her safely delivered back to Crimea, help her defeat an enemy that outnumbers us at a ratio of a couple-hundred-to-twelve, install her back on her throne, and then let Soren go nuts with figuring out all the ways he can come up with to get her to pay us most of the royal treasury for services rendered. He's already invented something he calls 'overtime' and 'workman's comp'." Ike answered. He had no idea what the purple-haired woman was getting at.

"That'sh not what I meant!" Mia flared. "She wansh you, you want her, so jush marry her already! Rhys can perform the ceremony! Ish all shettled!"

She turned and walked away, possibly intending to see what she could do about obtaining white velvet for the bride's gown. Ike stared after her, blinking like a poleaxed ox as he watched her stagger between the tents away from him. Eventually, it dawned on him that the wiser course might be to go stop her before she said something stupid to someone that would be completely misunderstood.

"Mia!" He called, running to catch up. She turned, a bright smile plastered on her face as she waited for him to thank her for setting his life on its proper path at last. She was sorely disappointed. He caught her arm, drew her away from the tents surrounding them and said in a low voice,

"Mia, I have absolutely no intention of marrying the princess of Crimea!"

It was her turn to blink at him, rather more owlish than he had been. After a moment, what he had said registered in her consciousness as "Ike's being stupid again". She laughed. The laughing took over and became giggles, and she tugged her arm out of his grip so that she could fall to the ground, still laughing. Ike nervously glanced around, making sure that no one could see them.

"Of coursh you do! You love each other, right?"

"Ummm…" Ike had no idea what to say to this. "Well, she's a lovely girl, but…"

"Of coursh she is," Mia sat up, no longer laughing. Her gaze was very intense, and Ike may have considered that she had thought this through and had some valid points if she hadn't smelled like the wine ration for the entire mercenary company. "And everyone in the camp knows she likes you- she's even admitted it to some of ush girls."

"She's what?" Ike asked. An inner part of his mind said, Uh, oh… followed shortly thereafter by Why didn't Mist warn me?

"She told ush she likes you!" Mia repeated, standing up and leaning towards him. Ike took an involuntary step back from the smell, but she strode towards him, weaving.

"But, umm…" Ike stumbled over his own tongue. "She's a princess. And I'm a mercenary."

"No, you're the general of the entire Army of the Continent." Mia reminded him. Ike could almost hear the capitals. "And she already ennobled you." She reached out to thwap him a good one on the head for being so stupid, but missed, instead striking one of the double images she was seeing.

"What about the Company? What are you all supposed to do if I take off and marry some princess just based on the fact that she's been traveling with us for nearly a year, and I've been solicitous of her health and…" Oh, shit… Ike realized.

"We wouldn't mind some cushy palace job as the 'queen's own' or some bullshit like that." Mia told him. "As long as we were all getting paid on time."

Ike thought fast, despite his confusion and panic. "But how are you going to test your skills sitting around a palace training ground all day? You'd never find your life rival waiting for them to be recruited into your company. You need to travel!"

"Hey, you're right." Mia plopped down in the mud, thinking about this development. Ike took advantage of her sudden thoughtfulness to run, worrying about yet a new problem. Mia called after him into the night,

"You're right. It never would have worked out anyway…"