Johnny drifted up through grey layers of consciousness. He lay on something cold and hard, his head hurt, and his left eyelid stuck together. His mouth tasted of mud and copper. Dripping water sounded with a hollow, distant echo and a strong odor of sulfur mixed with something else assailed his nose. After prying his eye open, he tried to sit up, but a wave of nausea caused the bile to rise in the back of his throat. Deciding it was better to stay still, he stopped struggling, his breath escaping with a small groan.
A whuffling noise, accompanied by the sound of scratching on the rock caused him to sit up with a jerk. Everything spun crazily and there was two of everything for a moment. Slowly his surroundings stilled, and the two blurry shapes in front of him merged into one. He could just barely see something big shimmering in the faint light coming from the depths beyond.
Johnny's heart beat wildly as he held perfectly still, fearing that a wild beast dwelt in the cave. Then when nothing happened, he convinced himself that he must be seeing a reflection from what appeared to be a glimmering pool of water.
Until it moved closer.
With a strangled cry, Johnny awkwardly scrambled to his feet in an effort to get away from whatever was coming. He barely took one step before he found himself facedown on the ground, pinned by a sharp, heavy weight. Hot breath snuffled next to his ear as the pressure on his back lifted, and then he suddenly found himself flipped over and pinned down again.
As sharp claws dug lightly into his chest, he looked up at… No! It couldn't be! He must have a concussion and be hallucinating. Another whiff of heated sulfur as the beast breathed on him convinced Johnny that this was the most real hallucination he had ever experienced. He stared at the sinewy creature whose shiny scales reflected the spectrum of hues from emerald green on the body to gilded gold on the belly, the colors brilliant even in the shadowy light of the cave. The tip of the tail shone a ruby red, while the wings were cast in sapphire and scarlet. The snout of the beast gleamed in violet, and both horns and tusks appeared as burnished brass.
"Why are you here?" demanded the all-too-real figment of his imagination, baring sharp, pointed teeth and leaning a bit harder on the hapless human.
Johnny thought frantically, trying to remember what he had read in Susan's books. How did one address a dragon? "Greetings, Friend Dragon," he gasped, the weight on his chest making it difficult to draw breath. "We came to rescue the little boy who fell down the hole."
"You have come to ssssteal my treasssssure!" hissed the dragon, thumping her tail and flexing her wings in angry emphasis.
"No, ma'am. We just wanted to rescue the boy," Johnny replied, expecting to be barbecued at any moment.
The dragon snorted, emitting a tendril of smoke from her nostrils, and leaned back a bit, easing the pressure on Johnny's chest. "That small human damaged the ventilation chimney to my cave. The entrance to my abode seems to be blocked as well." The dragon gestured at the pile of rocks. "My servants have taken the day off. They're never here when I need them. Look at this mess. Now who will clean it up?" she asked petulantly. Then, eyeing the paramedic under her foot, she asked, "Do you need a job?"
"Uh, no, ma'am."
She suddenly leaned closer, her eyes seeming to peer into the depths of Johnny's soul. "Why are you here?" As Johnny returned her gaze, the dragon's black eyes grew larger and seemed to reflect all the colors of the rainbow. The whirl of colors made him feel dizzy.
"Are you The Rainbow Dragon?" he blurted out.
Surprised, the dragon drew back. "You know of me?"
"Why, yes." Johnny remembered that one story had mentioned that dragons love flattery. Warily sitting up on his elbows, he continued, "And, now that I see you for myself, I know that you are indeed the most beautiful dragon in the land…"
"Is that so?" purred the dragon, preening ever so slightly, her iridescent teardrop shaped scales glistening in the light as she moved. As the dragon stepped away, Johnny could see that she had adorned herself with several large jewels on her neck and abdomen as well. Then with a greater swiftness than Johnny could have imagined, the dragon once again pinned the paramedic to the ground. "And, have you seen many dragonsssss?" Her eyes appeared to whirl as she steadfastly fixed her gaze upon the human.
"No, ma'am. I just read a book. A childrens' book," he added, hoping that it would make him seem more harmless to the dragon.
"Ah." Seemingly satisfied with the honest answer, the dragon removed her clawed paw from Johnny's chest and stepped back a pace. "What is this tome? I would know of it."
"Uh…" Johnny struggled to recall what he had read, the strangeness of the situation in which he found himself and the pain in his head muddying his thoughts, making it hard to think. "Would you mind if I sat up? It's kind of hard for me to talk to you like this."
"But of course. You are my guest." The dragon flapped her wings in a gesture of welcome.
Johnny carefully sat up, and then winced, putting a hand to his head.
Suddenly solicitous, the dragon politely inquired, "Are you injured?"
"I'm okay," Johnny answered, scooting cautiously out of what he hoped was easy range of those sharp, gleaming talons. He unbuckled the lifeline from about his waist as well, not wanting to become entangled in the rope in case he found a means of egress from the cave.
"Good. Then tell me the tale. I do so love a good saga. Especially if it is about me." The dragon sat back on her haunches and gazed steadfastly at Johnny with an air of expectation.
"Uh… let's see. It began: Once upon a time there lived a very beautiful dragon. She looked like all the colors of the rainbow, see, and that's why she was so beautiful. And, uh, everyone who saw her said so." He omitted the part about the dragon being vain, supposing that would only anger her.
"Yes. Do go on. It sounds like a true story so far," purred the dragon, primping a bit as she spoke.
"Well, one day while she was flying around, she saw a handsome young prince riding through the forest and she fell in love with him. So, she turned herself into a princess with golden hair and green eyes, and she waited for the prince to come by, and then she sang songs for him, and then he fell in love with her, and then they lived happily ever after. The end." Johnny finished breathlessly, having recited all the words in a great rush.
The dragon tapped her chin thoughtfully with one long claw. "That is indeed a true tale." Then she pointed an accusing claw in Johnny's direction. "But you are not a very eloquent bard."
"Uh, well, no, uh, I guess I'm not."
"Can you sing?" she demanded. "We dragons do enjoy a pleasing melody."
Johnny nervously cleared his throat, and then launched into a heartfelt rendition of the first song that popped into his head. Unfortunately, it happened to be "You Light Up My Life."
He got as far as the first chorus.
"Cease that caterwauling!" thundered the dragon. Poking Johnny in the chest with one of her claws, she chided, "Neither are you a melodious minstrel."
Johnny rubbed his chest where the dragon had jabbed him. "I... uh... I'm sorry. I… I…" His stomach picked that inopportune moment to grumble loudly.
The dragon heard it, and cocked her head in Johnny's direction. "Oh my, where are my manners? I'd be most pleased to have you for lunch."
"A-are you going to eat m-me?" Johnny stammered, apprehensive that the dragon might be considering him as a tempting hors d'oeuvre, since he had proven to be such poor entertainment.
"Silly man!" the dragon snorted. "I don't eat humans. They require too much garlic to be palatable."
Johnny laughed nervously. "Well, that's a relief. What do dragons eat anyway?"
"I enjoy a meal of a salad with watercress and fennel, creamed turnip and parsnip soup, salted lamb with lentils, gingered carp, succulent roast piglet, cheeses, trenchers of finely herbed bread, spiced wine and elderberry cakes. Do you cook?" asked the dragon, smacking her lips hopefully.
"Only hotdogs, hamburgers, spaghetti and meatballs."
The dragon harrumphed, obviously disappointed. "You can't cook, either. I suppose we shall have to await my servants' return, then. Tell me, human, what are you good at?"
"I'm a pretty good firefighter/paramedic."
"And what exactly is that, pray tell?"
"Uh, we extinguish fires, rescue people, help people. Like the little boy who fell down here. We had to assess the situation, figure out how to get him out safely..."
"But you are trapped here, are you not?" the dragon pointed out.
"Well, yeah, but we got the boy out," he said somewhat defensively.
"You are good at solving riddles?"
Johnny recalled that dragons loved playing mind games, and he was loath to perform poorly on yet another of the dragon's little challenges. "Uh, I wouldn't say… no, not riddles exactly…"
"Answer me this," interrupted the dragon. "At night they come without being fetched, and by day they are lost without being stolen."
"Uh… cows?"
"Cows!" snorted the dragon. "How do you figure that?"
"I grew up on a ranch, see, and at night the cows would come home to be milked and in the day they would wander off in the fields, get lost somewhere…" his voice trailed off as he accurately interpreted the dragon's expression as reproving.
"No," she said primly. "That is not the correct answer."
Johnny thought some more. "Uh, I don't know. I give up."
"Stars," replied the dragon smugly.
"Well, I was close," protested Johnny.
"Close?" squawked the dragon peevishly. "You said 'cows.' How was that close?"
"The Milky Way has stars."
The dragon stared wordlessly at Johnny without blinking.
Unnerved by the way the dragon regarded him, he squirmed a little and said, "Okay, how about this. How many of these statements are true? 1. I am a man. 2. The world is flat. 3. The moon is made of green cheese. 4. Three of these statements are false."
"The answer is there is no answer."
"No, it's a paradox, see? The first statement is true, the second and third are false, and the fourth is neither, because if only two are false, then it's false. But, if it's false, it's true. Which makes it false."
The dragon rose to her full height and extended her wings. "I have not been wrong since 1648, when I thought I made a mistake!"
"Right! Right! Just kidding! There's no answer!" Hurriedly changing the subject, Johnny asked, "Where is the light in here coming from?"
"From my treasure, of course." The dragon stretched her neck down until she peered at Johnny, nose-to-nose. "Would you care to see it?"
"Uh…" Remembering that dragons guarded their treasure quite jealously, and only parted with any of it most reluctantly, he sensed that a mistake here might very well prove fatal. "Well, sure I'd like to see it, but only if you want to show it to me. It's your treasure, I mean. It's none of my business. Unless you'd like to show it to me. Then, of course, I'd like to see it. But only if you want me to. It's up to you..."
"Hmm." The dragon drew back to her full height and considered the man for a moment. Then she whirled about once, the luminescence shimmered like a curtain parting, and the glowing treasure trove in the cave beyond came clearly into view.
Johnny's jaw dropped open. The hoard of gold and silver, satins and silks, crystals and jewels, and exotic objects of delicate beauty far surpassed any description of pirate's booty or king's ransom he had ever imagined. "Wow," he squeaked feebly.
"Is this not the desire of your heart?" inquired the dragon, regarding him narrowly through hooded eyes.
Johnny shook his head numbly. "No… Not really."
"No?" The velvety softness of the dragon's voice masked the steel trap of the question. "It would make you the richest of men."
Johnny tore his eyes away from the splendid wealth spread out before him and looked back at the dragon. "What would I do with it? I already have what I need, and a lot of what I want. Oh sure, I could use a new car, or even my own house. Heck, I'd buy my partner a house. And a car. All the guys. Even Chet. But, really, if I were rich enough that I didn't have to work… No, I think I'd keep working. I love my job. And, I don't want a big, old house anyway. Who'd take care of it? The trouble with owning stuff is it ends up owning you. I'd rather be free, outside, hiking in the mountains, or camping near a stream. Money can't buy that." Johnny stopped speaking abruptly. "What?"
"You do tend to blether overmuch."
"Oh. Sorry." While he didn't know the precise definition of blether, he guessed it roughly meant 'Shut up, Gage!"
They regarded each other in silence, until Johnny could bear it no longer. "You know, I'm kind of surprised to find you here. I thought dragons didn't like to be around people."
"We generally don't. But, I must confess I rather adore the glitter of Hollywood. In fact, that's where my servants are today. They often act as extras in films."
"What kind of servants does a dragon have?"
"Gnomes. They're starring in some silly nonsense about creatures in a galaxy far, far away. Spaceships. Alien life forms. What a notion. Totally unbelievable plot, in my opinion."
"Uh huh," was all Johnny could think of to say.
"I rather fancy myself an artiste of sorts," continued the dragon, holding out a paw and inspecting her long claws. "I compose utterly captivating poetry and my singing is most enchanting. And as for theatrics, Sarah Bernhardt couldn't hold a candle to me. I suppose that's another reason why I am drawn to Hollywood; it is a type of Mecca for the arts. Although, I daresay that some of it is rather… well, rather pedestrian, don't you agree? Take 'Pete's Dragon,' for example. Elliot." She snorted. "That is not a proper name for a dragon at all. And, those spectacles featuring strumpets bursting forth from their attire and such. Pure tripe."
"Yes, ma'am." Johnny was not about to disagree with the dragon again.
"Shall I sing for you?"
"Please do," Johnny responded politely, sincerely hoping that dragon song wouldn't resemble fingernails on a chalkboard or Henry baying at the moon.
The dragon selected a bejeweled harp from her pile of treasure. After a few moments of plucking the strings and tuning them up, she began to sing.
Johnny sat mesmerized by her voice, the dulcet tones wrapping around him in sweet-sounding tendrils that held him spellbound. The dragon wove a song as infinite as the heavens, as deep as the oceans, as warm as the sun at noonday, a rich tapestry of sound, revealing all the secret longings of his heart.
As the last note died down, Johnny shook his head, trying to clear the fuzziness that seemed to enfold him. "That was beautiful," he said truthfully.
"Thank you," said the dragon, looking down on him with what Johnny assumed was a pleased smile. Abruptly she raised her head, as if sensing something. Soon Johnny heard what the dragon had already detected: the unmistakable sound of male voices filtering through the rocks.
The dragon cocked her head and peered penetratingly at the mound of stones piled at Johnny's back. "It seems as if your friends have found you. I suggest you move toward the center of this cave." She moved back to make way for the paramedic.
"You have been a most entertaining, albeit unusual, guest. Here is a token of my esteem." She dropped a small, smooth stone into his hand. "And, while I have immensely enjoyed our little visit, I must now bid you au revoir." With her last words, she cast a cloak of invisibility over herself and her treasure, extinguishing the luminous light with her departure, and casting the cave into darkness.