I felt terrible.
Abso-fucking-lutely terrible.
I had made the biggest mistake of my life.
The pillow that had been resting in my lap for about three hours now was soaked with tears, so much that I could feel them on my bare legs, under the pillow, but that was the least of my worries...
I heard four sharp bangs on our front door and was shocked out of my border-line catonic state. I wasn't looking forward to talking to anyone, especially because I knew it wasn't either Carly, or mom and dad. Charlie was visiting his sick mom, and Renee was on a business trip, Carly was spending the night over Bree's whilst they were gone.
I jumped out of the bed and wrapped a robe around my torso and pulled on a pair of stray yoga pants that were haphazardly thrown over the foot board of my bed. I swatted the tears that hadn't stopped falling since he left and ran a hand through my tangled and knotted hair before rushing down the steps. The loud raps on the door were becoming louder and louder as I got closer to it. The knocks stopped but I knew they would pick up in a second if I didn't open the door. I took a deep breath and yanked open the door.
Standing on my porch in all of his furious glory, was Edward Cullen. His darkened green eyes raking over the length of my body, taking all of me in.
Except for my eyes.
When he finally met my eyes he sneered disgustedly at me.
"You look like shit." He said, his voice was stony.
"Oh thanks, you sure know how to butter a girl up, don't you?" I said sarcasticaly. He rolled his eyes and pushed past me, walking into the living room. He spun around to face me.
"What the hell, Bella?"
"What!" I asked, my voice in a confused tone.
"What the fuck happened to you?"
Why is he being such an asshole? I thought.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Edward." I lied.
His eyes seemed to almost glow with anger. The only thing I could think was, he knows. But there was no way he would or could know, obviously he and Tony weren't on speaking terms or else he wouldn't have-
Would he?
"I spoke to Tony." He said appearing nonchalant, my eyes widened to about three times their size.
"So?" I asked trying my best to sound and look as nonchalant as he did.
"So?" he said glaring, his carefully composed façade fading with every ounce of rage that bubbled up in him. "So?"
"Edward-"
"He disgusts me, you know." He said, looking like he hadn't a care about what we were talking about.
"Wh-"
"You know why Bella." He turned a picture on its face before thumping it onto the couch. I glared at him and turned it right side up. It was the picture taken at the cookout last year. Edward, Carly, Alice and I were in the middle surrounded by our parents, we looked so happy.
"No I don-"
"YES YOU DO! BELLA!" I did. He was right. But I didn't want him to know that.
"I have no idea what the hell you are talking about, Edward!"
"Actually, you would know better than I do but… why?" He sounded broken at the end of his sentence, but despite his voice his face was still set in a disgusted scowl.
"Edward- I-I don't know what you-you're talk-"
"Why are you so hell bent on lying to me?" I tried reasoning with him, he just wouldn't comply.
"I- GET THE FUCK OUT EDWARD," I turned my back to him and pointed behind me to the door.
"I'm so fucking sick of you! You fucking hypocrite! OUT NOW!"
"No! Bella, you aren't getting out of this one! Not until you give me an honest fucking answer!" He said menicingly. "Now. Tell. Me."
"Just stop it Edward!" I shouted spinning on my heel and stomping up the steps. The one's Tony had carried me up only a few hours prior.
"So… what? You're just gonna wimp out on me like that?" He taunted, thrusting out his arms to the side. I paused halfway up the steps to turn and glare before continuing up the rest of them.
"MY GOSH! I am not 'wimping out', asshole! I just don't want to talk to you right now!" He let out a breathy snort and darted up the stairs after me.
"So you're wimping out!" He shouted.
"No! Unlike you I just don't want to- or feel like- keeping shit going."
He rolled his eyes.
"What the fuck ever. I don't need this shit, ok? It's a fucking waste of my time." He muttered in annoyance.
"Your time? You're the one who stomped all up in my house Edward!"
"Psh, whatever."
"No not 'whatever' you came in here acting all mysterious and shit and OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE, you start getting pissed because I have no clue what your hinting at!" I slammed my door in his face, or I tried to, but his foot darted out and kept it from shutting in his face. He shoved it open and rushed in my face.
"You want to know why I came here?" He said his voice sinking to an almost dangerous whisper. I gulped and nodded.
"I want to fucking know why YOU GAVE IT UP TO MY BEST FRIEND?" he yelled accusingly.
I opened my mouth to correct him but figured that it couldn't get much better from here on, and It would be easier to take out my rage at myself on him rather then some unsuspecting person.
I snorted. "Guess he's not as good of a friend as you thought, huh?" I instantly regretted it.
His hands shot out and before I knew it I was pressed against his hard chest. My hands were splayed out over his chest as he stared deeply into my eyes. I hadn't been this close to him since the breakup and it was starting to mess with my head. He sucked in a deep breath quickly before holding it a few seconds and released it into my face in a gust of minty wind.
"I'm sorry, that was wrong…" I heard myself willingly whisper. His close proximity was making me weak in the knees.
"No, it was wrong that you both betrayed me."
I was appalled he was betrayed? How dare he say something like that to me after he cheated on me while we were still together!
"I betrayed you? It's not like I slept with him while WE WERE STILL TOGETHER!"
I screamed. Tears started to leak out of the corners of my eyes, despite my willing them to stay at bay.
He looked taken aback, then he whispered,
"You knew about Chelsea?" I nodded and looked at the ground. His grips on my arms loosened.
"Why does it matter to you, if Tony and I sleep together anyway? It's not like I'm your girlfriend or anything…" I asked, again willingly.
His eyes yanked themselves from mine as I tried to meet his gaze, his hands dropped completely from my fore arms and he backed away from me.
"That may be right bella, but it's always. Always. Bros before hoes, Bella." I wasn't sure what that had to do anything, but I was furious.
My eye's widened greatly before my hand shot out and slapped him across the cheek. I couldn't even respond to how ludicrous his response was, but I was outraged at him calling me a hoe.
"Edward!" I gasped out, he brought a hand to his now reddened cheek and his eyes met mine. I was taken aback by the furious look in his eye. Stronger than I had seen it the whole time he was over here. When he finally spoke, his voice was harsh.
"Well what do you expect to be called when you go sleeping around, Bella?"
When he said my name it was full of disgust and accusation. He glared at me then pushed past me and walked out of my room. A warm tear rolled down my face and landed on my arm and it was only then did I realize I had been crying. I snapped out of my trance and ran after him. I ran straight down the steps before running through my living room, only narrowly dodging the couch and made a b-line for the front door, but when I got out the door and to the driveway I realized that his car was gone.
I turned back around and went inside to grab my purse and actually put on my rain jacket, and headed back out to my car. It still hadn't stopped raining since Tony got here. I jumped in the car and sped down the street.
On my way to his house I saw his car parked in front of a small white house, and on the door step of that little white house was Edward banging madly on the door. I pulled up to the curband paralell parked, before hoping out of the car and running to him. I started to slosh through the muddy front yard but a clap of thunder covered up the loud squishing of my boots on the earth as I ran to him. His screams were nearly inaudible to me as I stood about three yards away I was about a yard away when I could finally make out his words.
"Tony! Open the fucking door!" he shouted.
"Edward! Stop!" I hollered. I was directly behind him, I hit his shoulder and he jumped slightly before turning around to face me. "What're you going to do Edward? Beat him up?" I screamed over what seemed to be the never ending thunder.
"Oh? I wonder what gave you that impression?" he questioned sarcastically.
He turned his head back to me and started beating on the door again. He growled frustratedly and looked at me before taking off in a jog to his car. I immediately followed him and hopped into the passenger seat unthinkingly.
I silently took him in, his form was tense and radiating anger from every pore. I knew I had to fix the mess I made.
"Why beat him up Edward? After all there were two people involved!" I bit my lip, that did not come out how I wanted it to. He let out a sharp breath. I released a frustrated breath before starting again, but I was cut off by Edward.
"Get out," he said simply. His green eyes glowed darkly with ferocity.
"Edw-"
"Out Now!" His usually velvety voice was course and stony.
"Edward! I'm sorry! Please just li-" I knew that he was wrong just as much as I was, but I couldn't help but apologize for my wronging.
"What the hell is wrong with you? You sleep with my best friend, and now your following me around taunting me! What changed you into such a heartless… bitch?"
"Bu-"
"Get out!" he screamed.
"No!" I yelled back. Tears started to well up in my eyes.
"What gives you the right to barge into my car and despi-"
"WE DIDN'T GO ALL THE WAY!" I exploded.
Tears fell openly down my face as he went silent and stared at me with wide eyes.
"So nothing happened?" He asked quietly.
"That's not, uh...entirely true, we did umm… things but…"
"Good enough for me." He quickly murmured, shockingly relieved. I was surprised by his low-key reaction, but could easily tell some of it had to do with guilt that he had felt about the Chelsea incident.
The tears started to slow. A wave of relief washed over me that was soon replaced by longing for him to hold my hand over the gearshift like he usually did when we rode in the car together. He pulled out of the driveway and started making his way quickly down the street. I didn't know where we were going until I saw the crappy exterior of my workplace come into veiw.
"Wh-why are we here?" I said interupting the silence in the car, he jumped slightly as if he had forgoten I was even in the car.
We pulled into a parking space that was reserved for employees only.
'You can't park he-"
"You're a fucking employee so shut the fuck up…please."
He pushed open the car door and climbed out. I did the same and watched as he searched the parking lot. He seemed to find what he was looking for and marched around the front of the building.
I trailed after him slowly and I then realized that I was walking into my place of work with mascara running down my cheeks and a robe and rain jacket on, over yoga pants. I turned my face up to the sky letting the rain pelt my dirty face and I swiped at my cheeks trying to erase the mascara stains before reaching into my rain coat and throwing my hair into a ponytail. I swiftly tucked my robe into the hem of my rain jacket and zipped it up to the neck. Thank god my robe only reached mid thigh or I would be looking completely terrible.
I ran to the front of the building and noticed a preppy blonde standing with Edward, the same blonde I had seen him with the night I stopped taking his phone calls. She sparked something in me as I went up to them and grabbed Edward's arm pulling him out and into the bar. I sent him a pointed look, but he paid me no attention. He scanned the crowd before his eyes locked on someone and they never left his eyes set on target. He quickly moved through the sparce amount of jumping bodies and made his way to a booth in the back.
When we got to the person, all I could see was their back and long redish hair cascading down her back, but that wasn't who Edward was set on. The long haired redhead was on the lap of Edwards ex-best friend. Tony was kissing the girl like mad, his eyes wandered up to us and he pushed her off and stoodup facing us.
He looked at me and my rumpled appearance before smirking at Edward. Edward's jaw was tense and his back was erect, his fists were clenched at his sides and his glare focused on Tony.
Tony spoke, "Damn man, both of your girls in one night, huh?"
Both of his girls? What the hell did tha-
Chelsea.
My eyes snapped to her, she sent me a similar smirk to the one Tony was wearing and winked at me.
"You fucking bitch!" I launched myself at her but was held back by Tony. Her eyes went wide and she scurried off. I was panting with rage as Tony pulled me into an upright position.
"None of that, Baby. I can't have you two messing up your pretty little faces."
I slapped him as his grip tightened on me. Edward grabbed my waist and pulled me back to his side.
"Don't you ever fucking touch her again!"
"Don't you think it's a little late for you to be worried about me touching her, Edward?"
Before I knew it, Edward's fist flew out and hit Tony square in the nose. A sickening crunch made me cringe as Tony fell back into the metallic booth with a hard thud on what, I now know was a hard booth seat. Blood was gushing from Tony's nose as he sat up. His eyes almost seemed to glow with the angry intensity that Edward had, but not to that extent. Tony sat up and launched himself at Edward, knocking them both onto the ground. They rolled on the floor punching and kicking.
"Please stop!" I yelled frantically, "Stop!" with every blow that landed on Edward it was as if I could physically feel it as well. I dropped back into the booth as tears rolled down my face. My screams had gotten quieter as the crowd had grown, not nescesarilly to watch the fight, though. We were tucked back into the shadowy depths of the club, out of sight and out of mind.
Edward had gotten his upper hand and had his knees pressed against Tony's shoulders heavily.
"Edward! Please ju-"
He kept throwing punches at Tony's face as Tony clawed back reaching for a purchase, as punches were landing on his bruised face. Tony's face was almost all purple with a busted and swollen lip and two black eyes as well as what looked to be a broken nose. Edward looked almost untouched but he too had a swollen lip and a hint of a bruise was starting to form on his left cheek.
Edward spread his feet out so that Tony's wrists were planted to the ground.
"Edward!"
"Calm the fuck down Bella. It'll be fine, Baby."
I broke into tears again as he had referred to me as baby. I was probably reading into the little slip up way more than I should have been, as I had heard Tony refer to every girl who walked by him as 'Baby'. Why wouldn't Edward pick up on that? Edward reached behind him and landed a hard punch to Tony's gut.
"Please… Edward!" I pleaded.
My voice sounded so broken and battered to my own ears. He stopped his punches and looked at me, pain shining deeply in his eyes. His momentary distraction was long enough for Tony to kick up his legs and wrap them around Edwards neck, pulling Edward off of him and slamming him to the ground. He sat up weakly. He then stood up shakily and ran at Edward who had sprang back up on his feet and tackled him, knocking the wind out of Edward, and myself. Tony hit Edward once in the cheek hard and drew back his fist another time when Edwards hands darted up to his neck, but both of their advances were stopped.
Seth grabbed Tony and hoisted him off of Edward before throwing him on the ground at Edwards feet.
"Look!" He said in a booming voice, "If yall wanna fight, get the fuck out of my club." He said loudly thrusting a finger to the main door.
Tony scrambled up and scrambled to the door.
"Fuck both of you." He muttered as he left the club. Seth looked my way and gave me a look that said, 'Are you okay' I noddded at him and went by Edward, as he stood up and rolled his neck.
"Are you okay?" I asked Edward. He nodded at me then nodded at Seth. Seth spun on his heel and went back to the bar. He walked back to the booth and sat down, but not before I noticed the slight limp, but I didn't mention it, knowing that Edward was trying to put on the tough guy act and hide his pain from me. I could easily see it in his expressive eyes. I went and sat across from him.
"Edward?" He had been studying his hands that were folded in his lap, he looked up at me and his eyes showed shame. I couldn't bring myself to be mad at him about the fight, seeing as he did it to protect my honor.
Then it hit me.
I was still in love him.
Then he spoke.
"About Chelsea…" I felt myself tense up at her name.
"Yeah what about Chelsea?" I asked bitterly.
"Baby it was an accident, I was drunk… I didn-"
A tear leaked from my eye, I was so goddamned tired of crying over him, but I couldn't stop it. "I'm sorry… I-I can't-"
I stood up from the booth. Edward looked up at me, his eyes shining with guilt.
I pulled my phone out of my purse and dialed Angela. I put the phone to my ear, never breaking eye contact from Edward until Angela answered.
"Bella?" I turned away from Edward and headed into the thick crowd.
More tears fell the closer I got to the door.
And the further I got from Edward.
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