Sorry that this took a while...

Shepard, Miranda and Jacob fought their way towards the mercs' tunnels.

"Shepard, the mercs are attacking again. Dunno how long we can hold them," Garrus said over the radio.

Shepard frowned"You've been holding them at bay by yourself for days. Try."

"I'm pretty tired Shepard. Dizzy. I feel like I'm drunk."

"Good for you, asshole," Shepard snapped. Somebody was drunk, but that somebody was not him. He hadn't had a single drink ever since he was 'resurrected'. Well, actually that was wrong. He had had one drink, but even that had been poisoned.

Shepard growled in frustration, shooting vorcha from the hip. Miranda warped one vorcha into a ball, and used him to topple other enemies over like bowling pins.

They reached the first door, and managed to close it down easily.

"Second door, Shepard! Faster, or I might fall into sleep," Garrus mocked over the radio.

"Go ahead. I'll have Zaeed wake you up with a nice kick to the ass."

The second door was easy, since Jacob tossed a huge cargo box in the front of the door, making it impossible for the enemies to get out. The door closed and the trio ran towards the final one.

They fought their way towards the last door. Shepard shot one vorcha to the head, kicked one in the groin, shot one in the groin and punched one in the groin. Jacob lifted one krogan up biotically, spinning him wildly over his head and then tossed him into an open cargo box.

"'Sup bitch! That's a three-point throw, man!" Jacob cheered.

Shepard took an assault rifle from a dead vorcha, then standing at the doorway; he began shooting enemies with two assault rifles at the same time. The door went shut, and the ingenious flank-attack of the mercs failed miserably.

"Shepard! The Pack's broken through! I see their leader, Garm," Garrus informed

"You know him too?"

"Yeah, fought him and almost got him, but his vorcha cronies got in the way. Guess he's looking for payback."

"You're real popular."

"What can I say? I'm a charming guy."

The pack had just entered the Angelcave, when suddenly a gunshot sounded and one of the vorchas head exploded.

Garm looked at the direction the shot came from, and saw Archangel.

"Hi Garm," Garrus greeted casually, simultaneously aiming at the krogan.

"Archangel!" Garm roared, when another shot sounded and another vorcha died.

This time, the shot came from Shepard.

"Rah! Get him! I'll get the Angel!" Garm roared, and his minions raised their weapons. Garm himself went upstairs to fight Garrus.

One of the vorcha left to battle Shepard screeched, and Shepard shot him to the head "Shut up. I've got enough of a headache already."

The trio dispatched the vorcha easily and climbed to the next floor. They approached the vantage point, and Shepard peeked around the corner. He saw Garm fighting Garrus and Zaeed, pinning them down.

"Hey, Worm!" Shepard hollered.

Garm turned towards Shepard, shooting with his assault rifle. "It's Garm!"

"Whatever, Grub!"

Garm roared, and began to run towards Shepard. Shepard stepped out from behind the corner and fired three shots to the chest of Garm. He saw them regenerating immediately.

Shepard's eyes widened "Oh, shi--"

He was interrupted by being thrown against a wall.

"Did I forget to mention that Garm regenerates extremely fast?" Garrus asked on the radio.

"Yes. Thank you for the info!"

Garm grabbed Shepard again and tossed him around like a ragdoll.

Shepard heard four shots, and saw Garm holding his own groin.

"That's forty thousand for a full set for you, pal!" the krogan testicle expert Garrus informed, walking towards them.

Garm fell down, and Garrus pointed his pistol at Garms head.

"Bet you can't regen those so easily, Worm."

"It's Ga--" the krogan tried to respond, but was interrupted with a shot to the head.

Garrus offered Shepard his hand, and pulled him up "That was pathetic, Shepard. I actually had to defend myself."

"Screw you."

Garrus' and Shepards tender moment was broken by a large gunship.

"Archangel!" someone yelled through the ship's sound systems and began firing its cannon. The whole quintet took cover.

"Let me guess: you know that guy too?" Shepard asked Garrus.

"Yeah, that's Tarak. I tried to kill him in his own home. One of my fans."

Enemies entered the Angelcave through a window, but Miranda and Jacob simply pushed them back through it.

"That was rather pathetic," Miranda said.

"Well, there's more. The first floor, go stop them!" Garrus yelled.

Shepard frowned "How the hell do you know that?"

"Hurry, Shepard! The first floor!"

Shepard growled again "Let's go then."

"Can't come. Have to stay in this room," Garrus answered blankly.

"Fine. The rest of you, follow."

The quartet ran downstairs, and several enemies appeared. Zaeed and Shepard sprayed bullets at them.

"Dakka dakka, you son of a bitch!" Zaeed yelled, firing wildly from the hip.

The enemy was neutralized quickly, and the quartet returned back to the vantage point.

"Archangel!" Tarak repeated himself.

Garrus stood up and struck a Superman pose "Here I am! Come and get me!"

Tarak answered by firing his cannon. The bullets ripped through Garrus' armor, and he barely got back into cover.

"Eat this!" Tarak yelled, and now fired rockets at Garrus. They hit, and Garrus flew across the room.

Zaeed and Jacob dragged Garrus into cover, and the ship began firing again. They all ducked down.

"What are we going to do, Commander?" Miranda asked.

"Kill the bastard. Don't know how yet."

Shepard glanced around, and saw a box on the wall. Over it was a text 'Stinger missiles. Use against gunships and helicopters.' Shepard ran towards the box, somehow managing to dodge the cannon's fire. He took the entire box down, and duck back into the cover again. Inside the box, he found both the launcher and some missiles. Shepard shrugged and loaded the launcher. He aimed at the gunship, and the targeting system locked. He fired, and the missile flew away, hitting the Hin -- the gunship.

"Rah!" Tarak yelled, and the gunship began to break down. Several explosions rocked the ship and then it finally began descending. As the chopper hit the ground, it exploded.

"Hope you preferred cremation to burial," Shepard muttered, then began to run towards Garrus. He knelt down next to him and saw that Garrus was covered in blue blood.

"Garrus?" Shepard called, but the turian didn't answer "Garrus!"

Now Garrus gasped for breath, and quickly glanced around. He noticed Shepard, grabbed him from his collar and pulled him closer "Shepard..."

"We'll get you out of here, just hold on."

Garrus pulled him even closer "I...never...got...the chance...to tell you...how much I...love you..."

Shepard frowned "What?"

"Fooled ya!" Garrus chuckled, and went limp.

"This is bad, Shepard," Jacob stated the obvious.

Shepard and Jacob stood in the briefing room. The debriefing was over, and only they were left.

"Yo Shepard. We did what we could, but Garrus still looks like a terminator. The docs put some cybernetics there to enhance the effect."

"What? And why are you telling me this anyway? Where's Miranda or Chakwas?"

"Dunno about Miranda man, but Chakwas is gettin' buzzed. It's probably why the Garrus thing failed too. The lady drinks like a fish, man!"

Shepard frowned in disbelief "She was drunk during surgery?"

Before Jacob could answer, the door opened. It was Garrus.

"Woo! Tough mofo! They pumped him full of painkillers and shit," Jacob cheered, slapping his hands together.

"Can't find a mirror, Johnny-boy," Garrus said dreamily "How bad's the damage?"

Shepard crossed his arms "You look like a guy who doesn't know how to use a razor."

Garrus' mandibles flickered "Nah, don't use a razor, too risky. Might start thinking about you and cut my wrists."

Shepard chuckled, then looked at Jacob and nodded towards the door, trying to get him to leave. Jacob did not leave, but rather nodded towards the door too.

Another wave of frustration went through Shepard "Go away, Jacob."

"Thanks Shepard, I do have things to do. You're so thoughtful," Jacob responded, smiling. He snapped a salute and left the room, the door closing after him.

Garrus looked at the door. "That guy is weird," he said, turning towards Shepard. "He kept calling me 'dog'. What is that anyway?" Garrus looked slightly worried "It's not some kind of affectionate nickname? Is it?"

"I hope not," Shepard said. The thought was pretty horrible. Jacob skulking around, watching him...it made Shepard shiver.

"Good. Now," Garrus begun, rubbing his hands together "What's this Cerberus thing? You're working for them?" Garrus frowned "We did blow away quite many of their bases..."

Shepard shrugged "Guess they believe in second chances. Anyway, they're the only one who's doing anything about the missing colonies."

"More like a tenth chance for us, if you count all the bases..." Garrus put his hands behind his back "I'm fit for duty whenever you need me. I'll be at the main battery."

"Fit for duty? Somebody just shot you in the face with a rocket, and you're on drugs."

"Oh right! Well, I'll be at the Med-bay then. Too-da-loo!"

Shepard arrived to the crew level, and walked towards Miranda's office. He opened the door and stepped in. The office was pretty big, at least compared to other cabins Shepard had seen. It had almost no decoration and only a few pieces of furniture. He could only see a table, a few coaches and a bed. Of course, there was also a window, and like all the windows on the ship, this one also showed the great void. Shepard walked to it and looked into the space. It was always a calming sight.

"Did you need something, Commander?" Miranda asked, not lifting her gaze from her work "You do have your own window."

Shepard turned around and began to walk towards a bench in front of the table she was working at "Just decided to visit my secretary."

Miranda scowled "I'm not your secretary. It's Executive Officer."

Shepard sat down. "You should practice your phone voice. It's not really pleasant."

Miranda scowled even deeper "Did you want something?"

"Just came to see how you're doing," Shepard answered, shrugging.

"I'm busy."

"Cut the attitude, secretary. How about you tell me something about you?"

Miranda's eyes narrowed, and she tilted her head slightly "How about no?"

"C'mon! You must know everything about me, yet I don't know nothin' 'bout ya," Shepard answered.

Miranda still scowled, but leaned backwards and crossed her arms "Fine. Ask your bloody questions."

"You said something about being genetically modified?"

"Yes."

Shepard raised an eyebrow "You do know what a conversation is?"

"Fine, more descriptive," she snapped. She began speaking in a monotone "Every strand of my DNA was specifically selected for maximum performance. The chromosomes were altered using..."

She went on and on for a moment, and Shepard noticed that he barely understood every fifth word. His head began to hurt and spin. Shepard raised his hand to silence her "I don't even understand what that means."

Miranda frowned "You asked for details."

"Stop bitching," Shepard snapped, rubbing his forehead.

Now the frowning changed back to scowling on Miranda's face "I don't bitch."

Shepard crossed his arms, and leaned back "You whine about every decision I make. It's annoying."

"Make better decisions."

"Whine less."

Miranda's scowl deepened "This is getting nowhere. I suggest you leave," her voice started to shake.

Shepard smirked "And I suggest that you get me some coffee, secretary."

"I'm not your secretary, you oaf!" Miranda snapped. Her anger was now very clear.

Shepard got up, and started walking towards the door "Tsk-tsk-tsk. Anger management issues as well," he opened the door, standing in the doorway "You better work on that. Besides the phone voice, that is." He walked backwards through the door and it began to close, "Secretary Lawson," he nodded, and the door closed.

Shepard heard something breaking against the door. He grinned.

"Shepard!" Zaeed greeted as Shepard stepped inside his hangout.

Zaeed was sitting on a chair in front of the security camera system.

"What are you doing?" Shepard asked, his eyes narrowing.

Zaeed shrugged "Just watching a few skirts take a shower."

Shepard frowned "There's cameras in the shower?" he walked to the system and went through all the cameras "Can't find them."

"That's because there's none, you soddin' nonce," Zaeed chuckled, and rose up from the chair. He took a knife from the table, and threw it into a portrait of the Illusive Man. "Get yourself a girl, mate."

Shepard saw several knifes poking from the portrait. Apparently Zaeed had been using it as a dartboard. Shepard crossed his arms "Says you."

Zaeed turned towards him "Got a girl," he pointed towards an old rifle on top of a crate. "She's Jessie."

"Right, but actually I came to see you. Wanna tell me something about yourself?"

Zaeed leaned to the wall, and crossed his arms "I was just thinking about past missions, got a minute? You might learn something."

"No, actually I wanted to know about yo--"

"Been in a batarian prison once. It's where they put you if they don't kill ya. Nice place. You got two options there: Get your head busted open by the minute you step inside, or kill everyone between you and the exit."

"That's great. Now tell--"

"Get a knife stuck in the right way, and you can pull that plate right off a krogans head ..." he moved his hand across his chest "It's the best way to get 'em to talk. The threat of it drives them mad."

"Thanks for info," Shepard muttered "Could you now please talk?"

"I should let you go. Talk to you later, Shepard"

"Right..."