Again Shepard was on Omega, and it was starting to bore him. Well, boredom was probably the wrong term, since it actually felt more like frustration.

Also the fact, that he had been playing cards and drinking heavily with Garrus, Joker, Jacob and Zaeed the last night, didn't help him feel much better either.

They had had to play in the dark, sorry-ass cargo hold. Why? Because of Miranda of course! Everything, that Shepard liked doing, was somehow forbidden. So, to avoid her nagging, they had been playing in there.

Shepard rubbed his forehead and eyes again. Miranda had practically kicked them out of their beds this morning to complete this damn recruiting tour. So naturally, Shepard felt extremely good…

"How is it possible that you reek of alcohol?" Miranda asked him, interrupting his thoughts of pain and suffering.

"Maybe you're funny in the head," Shepard retorted, annoyed.

She scowled "Charming."

"Leave the man alone, bird. Go play with your dollies or something," Zaeed responded, causing Miranda to turn towards him.

"I'm not a bird, Massani," she retorted, her scowling deepening. "And that's something you should remember, if you wish to get paid."

"I already got the soddin' lollies, bird," Zaeed retorted, emphasizing the word 'bird'.

"That can be changed," Miranda said coldly.

They began to stare each other down, neither one backing away. Shepard decided to save the situation "Settle down, children," he chimed in. "Save some for the Collectors. Or the IRS."

Miranda snorted and turned away from Zaeed, her head held high. Zaeed did a silent nagging imitation after she turned, causing Shepard to grin.

They entered the Afterlife again. The bright lights and loud music made Shepard's head hurt even more than before. He glanced at the bar, but then decided not to go there again. The team then began approaching the private room of Aria, and saw a guard.

The guard raised his hand "Stop!"

'Hammertime!' the singer of the club's music shouted right after.

"I'm here to see Aria, like yesterday, you moron," Shepard snapped, with a clearly annoyed tone.

"Oh yeah? Prove it," the guard responded, crossing his arms.

Nice. One eager security guard. That was something Shepard desperately needed right now in this delicate, annoyed and angry state.

Shepard frowned "Prove what? Were you even here yesterday?"

The guard frowned "Well, no…"

Shepard stopped digging his pockets "So how do know that I wasn't?"

Miranda sighed loudly "This is like a debate between two chimpanzees. Aria told us that we have a free pass. You probably got the memo: A moronic man, along with his entourage, allowed free passage."

"I'm not moronic," Shepard retorted to her.

The guard frowned, looking at his omni-tool "Doesn't say that, but there is a memo about a bleating woman in a spandex outfit though, who travels with an undead Spectre." He raised his head "Guess that's you guys then. I thought that it was a joke."

"Bleating?" Miranda snapped, her cheeks blushing. Zaeed and Shepard started snickering. "I don't bleat! I worry!"

"That's what the memo says, lady."

The team was now inside Aria's office, some angrier than others. Aria was sitting on the couch again, and signaled Shepard to come closer. As Shepard approached her, she sniffed the air twice "Been enjoying my club? Especially the bar?"

Shepard sat down on the couch "Here?" he chuckled. "Can't even stand the place."

"You don't say," Aria raised her, uh, tattoo-brow.

"I hate this disco shit, or whatever it is," Shepard leaned back and put his hands behind his head "You should pay me to even come here."

"That so?" Aria asked, her eyes narrowing. "If I remember, it was you who needed my help the last time and probably still do."

"Nope," Shepard said, and tossed a data pad to the lap of Aria.

"What's this?" she asked.

"A gift. Read it."

She read the pad quickly and then threw it at the head of a batarian "Minion number 34! How did this happen?"

Minion 34, a batarian, rubbed his head. "We'll look into it," he said apologetically and bowed.

"Do it," she leaned towards the batarian "Or I'll look into you…"

34 took a step back in horror, then snapped a salute and ran away.

She turned back towards Shepard again "I guess I should thank you."

"Guess you should."

But she didn't thank him, and Shepard decided to remind her "Still waiting…"

"Keep waiting. You still want something?"

Shepard sighed deeply "I like my women like my coffee; cold and bitter."

Aria chuckled once "Funny," she said dryly.

"A lot of people think so."

" Maybe you should go see them then, and quickly. Your stench is going to stick in that sofa for days."

"Don't tempt me. Maybe I won't come back to save your ass again."

Aria snorted, and begun to read another datapad. Neither one of them spoke for a while, but then Aria broke the silence: "You're still here?"

"Yep. Need to find Doctor Solus."

Now she raised her head "Mordin, the salarian doctor? He's in the quarantine zone."

"Quarantine?" Shepard asked.

"We have a nice plague in there; the kill-ratio's almost hundred percent and it affects everything, except vorcha and humans."

"Good to be human then."

"Yes, it is," she answered, looking at Garrus.

Garrus didn't answer, but merely stood there, his mandibles moving slowly.

Aria turned back to Shepard "Try not to bring the plague back with you."

Shepard got up "Don't worry. You're not on my souvenir list."

The team was now approaching the quarantine zone.

"What's with the muteness?" Shepard asked Garrus teasingly, poking him to the side "Your head still hurt?"

"Yes, and that I'm probably gonna die of some nice sickness isn't helping either," Garrus muttered. "What about you?" he asked fake-cheerfully.

"Nope," Shepard said, dangling the tube of aspirin in front of Garrus.

"Son of a bitch," Garrus muttered and Shepard put the tube back to his pocket again, chuckling. "And I bet those don't work on turians?"

"Nope."

Garrus growled lowly and Shepard tapped him on the shoulder "Don't worry about the illness. You smell just like the vorcha, probably that's enough."

"Yeah, and you also look like one."

The team had now arrived to the entrance to the zone. They saw a guard arguing with a human.

"Let me in! I can't get the plague. I'm human, you ass," the human asserted.

"Nah! You're just a looter," the turian guard claimed.

"I'm not a looter! I live there!"the human alleged.

"And a liar too," asserted the turian.

The human dug her ID-card from her pocket "This is the key to my door. Now let me in."

"And a forger too."

"Let us in Jeeves, we need to talk to these vorcha," Shepard interrupted them, tapping his holstered pistol "Very loudly."

"Hmm," the turian mumbled "I guess you can go in, since you have a grenade launcher and all," he continued, shrugging.

"Wait, you're letting them in but not me? You son of a bitch!" the human snapped.

"You don't have a grenade launcher, lady. Get lost," he snapped in return, brushing her off.

"Must have a grenade launcher," the turian said blankly.

They entered the quarantine zone, and immediately saw a few vorcha fighting with a couple of turian mercenaries. Shepard's team quickly dispatched the vorcha, and the Blue Sun mercs thanked them by opening fire at them, forcing the squad to take cover. Miranda and Jacob lifted the turians up in the air, while Garrus, Zaeed and Shepard killed them one by one with their sniper rifles.

Now they noticed several bodies being burned in a huge bonfire.

Jacob sniffed the air a couple of times "Smells like chicken."

Miranda turned towards him, frowning "That is absolutely disgusting."

Zaeed looked contemplative, his hand on his chin "Hmm. Reminds me of some batarian scare tactics, except that the victims were missing thei—"

"Let's not hear that," Garrus muttered, looking even sicker than before.

"You alright?" Shepard asked him.

"Yeah, considering that I've got a hangover, am probably infected by some deadly disease, and just saw bodies burned right before my eyes."

"Right."

They marched deeper into the zone, when Garrus spoke.

"I feel hot," he muttered, waving air to his face. "No pun intended."

Then he coughed. "Oh crapola. That's not good."

They decided to pick up the pace, and ran through the zone, killing every vorcha they saw. They entered a small room, and saw two humans; a male and a female.

"Thank god! They're not vorcha or Blue Suns!" the male one cheered.

"Hi," Shepard muttered, lighting a cigarette.

"Whatta hell are you doing here, muppets?" Zaeed asked them.

"Well, we hid. Of course," the male answered.

"Shouldn't you be at the clinic?" Shepard asked, frowning.

"With that crazy doctor? No-no-no," the human answered, raising his hands in rejection. "We'll rather stay here."

"Crazy?" Shepard asked, his frowning deepening. Crazy, in his experience, usually meant more 'stab, stab, stab, kill, kill, kill', than 'ooh, pretty colors'. Maybe he shouldn't even recruit the salarian. This will not end well…

"Well, the Blue Suns tried to muscle in on his clinic, so he just killed them. First he confused them with hallucinogens and talking really fast, then he just shot them. Pop-pop-pop," the man narrated, forming a finger pistol. "Then he just returned back to work, like nothing happened."

"He's cold. Probably ex-STG," the female continued, nodding to the man.

"That's not crazy," Garrus chimed in "That's cool."

"My ugly friend is right. You should go to the clinic," Shepard said.

"No-no-no. There's vorcha, lots to walk, high places, doors, windows, traps..."

Shepard frowned "No there's not. The clinic's practically right next to this place."

The male crossed his arms "I don't trust that salarian."

Shepard sighed "You're starting to piss me off."

"Yes, intimidate them. That'll help," Miranda snorted, causing Shepard to turn towards her.

"Okay," he said, and unholstered his pistol, causing the humans to take a few steps back in horror.

Miranda lifted her hands in defeat "I give up."

"That's what my mother said," Shepard muttered, then turned back towards the two humans "You know, I feel like my trigger finger's starting to get a cramp," his pistol went off and the bullet ricocheted off the walls. The humans covered their heads in terror. "Maybe you should go?"

The humans nodded quckly, then ran out of the door.

"That was completely insane," Miranda whined again.

"I agree," Garrus said, causing the rest of the team to turn towards him. "You wasted a perfect opportunity to shoot one in the leg and say: Now you have a reason to visit the clinic..."

Everyone kept staring at him, frowning.

"What? It would have been cool."

The team killed even more vorcha, and reached the clinic. The guard let them in without asking anything, so they just kept going, until they began hearing fast babbling: "No-no-no! Incompetence! How can mix up amphetamine with sedatives? Good thing that was a volus. A krogan would have been devastating! Leave! Go-go-go-go!"

Shepard's team entered the room, where the babbling came from, and saw a salarian doctor working on something at his table. There was also a volus lying on the floor.

"Doctor Solus, I presume?" Shepard asked the salarian.

Solus didn't raise his head from his work "Yes-yes-yes. What now? Very distressed. Assistant just made a large mistake. Administering amphetamine to a bipolar patient. Horrible. Had to calm the patient down," he nodded towards the volus lying on the floor. "Fools,fools,fools…" he muttered quietly.

"Yeah, that's horrible, but there's something I—"

Shepard was interrupted by the Doctor, who still didn't raise his head "Work with Cerberus? Cerberus expanding? Recruiting aliens now?"

"How did y—"

"Can see the Cerberus mark on the outfits," he nodded towards Miranda and Jacob. "Weird choice. Tight leather suits. Not practical. Then again, sexuality important to humans. Have seen the Eiffel-tower, the Big Ben. Quite phallic."

"It's Cerberus—"Miranda tried to chime in, but the Doctor interrupted her too.

"Yes-yes. Protocol," he inhaled deeply "Can smell the insecurity from even here. Trying to find comfort in rules."

Miranda scowled "I'm not insec—"

"Probably father-issues. Oedipus complex maybe?"

"What!?" Miranda's eyes widened, and her cheeks flushed "I most certainly do not have an Oedipus complex."

"Merely a guess. No need to be upset," Doctor Solus said apologetically.

Shepard's head spun, he did not know how much he understood of the conversation, or how much he even wanted to. He shook his head, and tried to pull himself together. "So will you join us, Doctor?"

"Yes, would join you, but can't. Have to cure the plague first. Have the cure, but must distribute it."

Shepard crossed his arms "I didn't come this far to become a postal worker."

"No-no. No need for bicycles or mailbags. Just need to visit one place. The central air control faculty. One problem though; guarded by Blood Pack vorcha."

"Wow. Vorcha. What a surprise," Shepard said dryly. "Wanna come with?"

Right after he asked the question, the air system shut down.

"No. As can see, must repair the system."

"Of course. There's always something," Shepard muttered bitterly. "Let's go."

"No-no-no! Almost forgot!" Mordin tapped his omni-tool, and a bright light went through Garrus. "Turians resilient. Simple immunobooster will help."

"Cool. If you now could make these scars disappear too?" Garrus asked, gesturing at his scarred face.