** Featuring guest author Danny Lawlrence!

Chapter 3 dedicated to Maddy. Ur v big insperashun 2 us. Ty.

Chapter 3 – Edward

I don't know how he managed to rip a hole in my jeans whilst trying to rape me, but Nick did nonetheless. I kept a mental note to discipline him this afternoon, and maybe get Obama tied in on the action. No, I must refrain.

"Come on babe," Nick giggled as he ran towards the store door, fist bumping Barack.

"Hey Barack, how ya' been man? You look great!" my boyfriend said, checking out the President's suit imported directly from China. I could feel the lust growing between the two as I redressed myself.

"Never expected to see you here of all places," I trailed off in an unamused voice, holding my face in a scowl so as to impress any pedestrians that should see my sparkles. As my eyes rolled down I realized why Nick was so interested in the man, his suit was superb! The cotton was twilled so perfectly by childish hands, the carpet dye staining every thread. Sweatshop workers truly are God's gift to Walmart.

"Yo niggas, dig mah muthafuckin suit? Din't even hafta' steal this muthafuckin' shit, nig. Ahaha!" Obama let off in his slang way, giving out an obnoxious laugh in the process. Nick likes President Obama because they are both up there with the pop stars. I have nothing but hate for the man. He may be big, but it isn't worth giving up my white purity for something so hedonistic.

As we entered the store some fat men wearing HOPE and CHANGE shirts starting flashing us. Inside I felt a little sad that they were only taking the pictures because of Barack, but then as Nick crept up on me I soon forgot. He wrapped his hands around my waist and began unzipping my raggedy jeans. I stopped him right as he reached half-way, turned around and began passionately kissing him.

As our make out session turned French I had to rip away. The temptation to suck Nick's juices out burned within me. I tore his shirt straight down the middle and pulled it away, revealing his freshly shaved torso. My tongue went down his neck, gently reaching his beautiful body.

As I was on my knees, about to remove my lover's remaining clothing, I heard that bastard President shout out:
"Nigga! What you doin foo, not inviting me muthafucka?" My passion for Nick now turned to fury as I gave a death glare to my interrogator.
"That does it, I'm leaving!" I yelled, leaving Nick in utter horror. I stormed outside of the store, my boyfriend, his friend, and his friend's fanboys following closely behind.

After I let off my steam and the President's security scared off the crowd, I tried my best to remain civil as we took one of the President's cars back to Nick's place. Nick and I began making love in his living room and left Barack on his own.

Inside Nick's bedroom, Barack used his black people powers to punch through the wall in exactly the spot in the wall where he sensed Nick's weed was stashed. I was just finishing giving Nick a handjob in the living room when the president was tearing off the outlet to see if there was more. His jizz dripped into a small pool on the carpet, as we both stared, mouths agape.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" exclaimed Nick. "You just totally ruined that for me! Seriously Eddie, how are we supposed to enjoy ourselves if this buffoon is wandering around stealing my weed!"

I removed my hand from his penis.

"Naw nigga it ain't like dat," Barack explained. "We can smoke it together, ya know what I'm sayin'."

We smoked it together.

We were sitting on the curb when a lizard slithered by on the ground. Barack noticed it, then looked up to see an alligator, barreling down the street as fast as an alligator can go, being chased by an animal control truck and two guys with nets.

"I'LL HELP YOU!" Barack shouted, running toward them. He grabbed one of their nets, ready to capture the alligator, but he temporarily lost sight of it as it rounded a corner. He saw the lizard on the ground again and proceeded to hit it with the metal handle of the net.
"SHIT, NIGGA! That was crazy!" He exclaimed, sitting next to us again.

I went inside to clean up Nick's jizz stain off the carpet. Maybe it was just the weed, or maybe Barack wasn't such a bad guy after all.