CHAPTER SEVEN

Arizona had locked her eyes with Callie's, hoping to catch a glimmer in them so she could figure out what her next move should be. Her head was screaming at her to say something, anything so that she didn't continue just standing there useless like a deer in headlights. But last time, she remembered, saying the first thing that popped into her head didn't work out so well. There were a million responses that came to her mind, but none Callie would listen to.

She watched as Callie moved to leave the room before Arizona could even fully comprehend the movement. She put her hand out to stop her too late, as Callie blew past her, making the blonde's heart drop to her stomach. She heard the door slam as Callie left her in the wake of her words.

It was at the very moment she felt hot tears beginning their burning streams down her face. She stared blankly at her reflection in the mirror. She didn't see Arizona Robbins, the accomplished surgeon; instead, she saw a weak, little Arizona that had just let someone trample all over her. She had just let Callie take charge of the situation. No, Callie had taken charge of it for herself, she had stood up and demanded she be heard, Arizona hadn't let her do anything. But she had let her rip her to shreds, barely mumbling an audible sound the entire time. And now she was stuck there, frozen, feeling completely lost as to what she should do.

Callie had more than likely already left for the night by now, so the coast was clear. It faintly crossed her mind that Teddy was still waiting for her at the bar, but she wasn't in the mood anymore for gossiping or playful banter. But leaving without saying goodbye would be rude, so she would have to compose herself enough for at least the next ten minutes or so, simply so she could pay part of their bill, get herself home, crawl into bed, and hope that tomorrow would be better. Anything would be an improvement at this point.

She took a deep breath and made her way to the door, "It's now or never," she thought. As she reached for the doorknob, she quickly jerked backwards as it began turning from the other side. She smiled softly as Teddy appeared in the widening crack, a concerned look on her face.

"Hey, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay in here," Teddy shyly smiled, "I saw Callie storm out a few minutes ago and was worried when you didn't follow."

"Yeah, everything's … super," Arizona replied unconvincingly, forcing a smile she knew wasn't even close to being believable. Teddy nodded once, simply to acknowledge she had heard Arizona, carefully examining her to see how much she was actually hiding from her.

Why the hell did everyone suddenly feel the need to analyze her? She fucked up. She let all of her baggage and her messed up of a past win. She'd let them fuck up the one thing she wanted to work. But so what? She wasn't the first person to do something like that and she didn't understand what the big deal was, especially at Seattle Grace, where relationships and affairs were as common as bandages and sick people. Seriously.

So what if Callie was pissed? So what if she had called Arizona out on her shit? Arizona wasn't the kind of person that let people destroy her, not anymore. She'd been through that already, and from then on she fought until her knuckles turned white and she had exhausted all the energy she possibly could from her body. She did everything in her physical power to fight like hell, and then, and only then, after she exhausted all her resources, pulled out all the stops, used every weapon in her arsenal, would she be able to move on.

Fuck feeling bad for herself. That was before Callie, she had to stop living in the past, because this was the right now. This was the present. And as far as she was concerned, her present was pretty damn amazing now, more so than it had been in a very long time, sans the last few days, and she was going to fight for the one thing she knew she needed more than life itself. She couldn't lose that again, because that would most certainly break her beyond all repair.

She flashed Teddy a sad smile, instantly feeling a twinge of guilt for letting her personal life get in the way of their much overdue "grown up girl bonding time," as them hanging out together was coined by their mutual nine-year-old patient Olivia.

"I really have to go, I'm so sorry," Arizona said hurriedly, needing to get out of Joe's as quick as she possibly could, instantly feeling claustrophobic in her own skin. She apologized to Teddy once more, saying she wasn't really up for crowds anymore and really just wanted to go home. Teddy nodded, but still scrupulously gave Arizona a once over to make sure she wasn't just bullshitting her and that she really was all right.

She offered to pay her half of the bill, but Teddy shook her head and said that this one was on her. She gave her a quick hug, flashed her dimples, saying they'd catch up with each other tomorrow at lunch. She excused herself once again and charged out of the bathroom, straight through the crowd, and out of Joe's, pausing as the cool air hit her face. She took a long deep breath and made her way to the one place she was determined to call home once again.

As her pace quickened, her mind raced with the words Callie had seethed at her. But what most bothered her, she thought, was the fact that she just stood there and said nothing. She didn't defend herself, she didn't refute Callie's claims, she just stood with her mouth hanging wide open and took it, every single word of it. But the worst part about it wasn't the barrage of shit she received from her; it was the fact that Callie had never looked so angry or so hurt at the same time since she'd known her.

She could tell it broke Callie's heart to say the things she did, but she said them anyway. Not to win an argument, not to gain the upper hand like Arizona had, but to try and get through to her, to give her one last chance. Her speech almost felt like a goodbye. And, as Arizona realized, it was a goodbye. That is, unless she could do something to fix it. It was in her hands now. Callie had all but given up, and as much as the type A in her hated to admit it, she knew it was her turn to fight for Callie and their life together.

As she lifted her head, staring at the building before her, she paused. Not sure whether she should move forward. But as her feet hit the steps, waiting for her to lift them, she was fuming, with herself, with the situation, with the fact that she let Callie walk all over her. Her normally level headed approach to confrontation had been thrown out the window a block ago, and against her better judgment she decided to go to Callie's apartment as is. She had no idea how this was going to turn out, but if Callie wanted to see her emotions? She sure as hell was going to get to see all of them, this one included.

As she actually reached her destination, she felt all sensation leave her body. It was one of those make it or break it moments, where everything faded away in preparation for one of those big life-changing events. And that terrified her.

She hopped up the stairs, two at a time, cautiously opening the door, judging herself for doing so, this was a mistake, going into this situation angry, she knew it. It's not like Callie was an enemy, or an opponent; she was the love of her life. What was wrong with her? Dismissing everything in favor of just getting this over with, she briskly made her way to the elevator, her aggravated mood only heightening, as she punched the up button repeatedly with dedicated ferocity. When it still hadn't arrived two minutes later she pressed it again with a stomp of her foot. This was ridiculous. But as soon as she heard the ding of its impending arrival, her heartbeat quickened as the hum of the gears brought it closer and closer, bringing with it her impending fate.

The doors opened and she pressed her desired floor, silently wondering if this would be the last time she ascended to it. Planting her feet firmly on the ground, she fiddled with the contents in her jacket pocket. She pulled out an animal shaped rubber band one of her patients had given her earlier that day. It was to protect Mr. Bear when he was scared, little Maya had proudly pointed out.

She had smiled at the girl, pulled her into a tight hug, and put the rubber band around her wrist. Nervously she lightly tugged it at the memory and it snapped back tightly, reminding her that this situation was very real and required the utmost care and protection, regardless of her mood. All she needed to do was fix this and everything else would fall right back into their normal, happy places. If all went as planned, she'd say everything just right, Calliope would sigh, smile, and run into her arms, just like in the movies. One could only hope, she thought.

As the doors opened, Arizona stepped out and shuffled towards Callie's door. It had become so second nature to her that it required practically no thought whatsoever. She stopped herself as she reached for the doorknob, letting her hand drop back at her side at the realization that she may not actually be welcome. She took a step back to decide what her next move should be. She hadn't once thought about what she would actually say once she got here, the buzzing of Callie's speech had been replaying non-stop in her mind since she left the bar. Wishing she'd taken the time to actually clear her head, she rolled her eyes at herself. She had no idea how to fix this without the potential of getting her own heart broken. What she did know was that standing out here wasn't going to solve a thing and she might as well at least try the doorknob while she was there.

Painfully slow, she turned the knob and her heart jumped when she heard the click. Maybe Callie had left it open for her, hoping she'd chase after her. Or maybe she expected Mark to prance in and sweep her off her feet. She quickly shook her head, dismissing that last one, the last thing she needed was Callie and Mark riding off into the sunset together in the back of her mind.

She pushed the door forward, inch by inch, instantly finding Cristina and Callie sitting on the opposite ends of the couch. Cristina eating cereal from a bowl and reading a medical book in her lap, Callie munching greedily directly from the box tapping her feet against the table to the soft hum of music in the background. Both looked up when they heard the creak of the door. Arizona, obviously busted for peeping, pushed it open the remaining way and stood there, a bit shell shocked, as she took in the looks she was currently being sent. Callie's eyes bulged out at the surprise of Arizona's presence, her jaw unhinging and hanging open, waiting for a verbal response to form. Cristina turned to look at Callie and then back at Arizona, smirked, raised her eyebrows and then reached to grab the cereal box out of Callie's limp hand and poured herself some more, snuggling into the sofa. She wouldn't miss this fight for anything.