AN: Some people said that Harry as a, even if self-proclaimed, genius was weird. It's a very valid point and as much as I enjoy Smart Harry! Fics I wasn't going to do it. But then I took a good look at my basic idea of putting years one to five together and quite frankly, average Harry! Just couldn't handle it. So I decided to give him a fighting chance both in skills and as it will show in this chapter in magical artifacts. I love those and most fics bar Perfect Lionheart one are lacking.

A lot of people told that the way I write confuses them. They have my apologies. I can even confuse myself at times. Most of it I can't change as I said to them. It's part of the way I started writing and I don't feel like changing it midway would be natural. Nonetheless, I am taking some measures by submitting my work to a beta-reader from now on. Hopefully it'll help some but HinekoAkahi and I are so much alike that I have my doubts.

Anyway, thanks for the reviews. Like last time, I'll only post chapter five after I have got a minimum of ten reviews for the same reasons.

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I think that there is much to be said about girls. And just as with purebloods, most of it isn't flattering. I didn't get to stay in the library as much as I wanted. Princess didn't let me. She got all worked up about how she didn't want to risk Snape, that's the foaming guy, flaying her alive just because I couldn't respect a stupid rule. She was literally dragging me! And when I told her that I thought it was just an excuse to have some skin-contact she slapped me and asked if I thought that she ought to give me some more.

Who does that?

So not only did I lose library-time but I had to spend two more hours permanently-warding my bed and possessions against first to fourth year level magic and smells. Oh! And there's a sixth boy in the dorm. I don't understand how I missed him earlier. I guess he just is the fitting type. Half-dark, half-snob, half-sheep. I think that his father along with Malfoy's, that's girlish-boy, were Death Eaters under the imperius. Why do I feel like somebody out there is handing Black all the tools he needs to succeed?

Anyway, me and princess had a lot of words flying yesterday.

Apparently she doesn't like to be called that. You learn something new every day! But that doesn't matter as I'm pretty sure that she broke the hissing rule twice, at the very least, and will therefore be expulsed from the house quickly. I don't think anybody told her though but that's understandable as it scared a lot of people when she started screaming and destroying the chairs. Maybe I should really try to make it better. It's not that I'm scared. Because I'm not. But if things keep going like this I'll end deaf before they throw her out. How about that peace-flag thing I was thinking about the other day?

But what to do?

A symbolic gesture… something that costs me nothing…Well, I could start calling her by her name. What was it again? It started with D didn't it? I don't think that Assistant knows either because all she does when I ask her is laugh. Well, that'll just have to do the trick then. It's better than princess isn't it? It's settled; from now on she shall be D. Yeah, I'm sure it'll be fine. We have a lot in common when you think of it! She despises everybody on Earth too for one.

Surely there is some bonding to be done over that, no?

Then again, so does that Snape-fellow if his permanent scowl is to be a clue. Maybe only beautiful people can bond over that kind of things. I know, I know. We already determined that I am biased and that we aren't smarter as a rule. But this is a completely independent theory based on careful observations of a representative sample of Hollywood movies. Ugly people like Snape have sad lives and they make it sadder by their resentment while beautiful people struggle with their hate and anguish until they find other equally messed up person and bond.

Leading to hot, sweaty sex.

That's just the way it is. But now that I think about it, I don't think that bonding with D would be a very good idea. Clearly she is the kind that devours her partner's head after consummation. Which would be bad. Unless I, somehow, manage to make Snape beautiful enough that she bonds with him! Even with magic it would be really hard to raise him to D's level though… Speaking of him, he tried to corner me again today. If it wasn't for the strikingly real-looking pixie-toys I bought while roaming Diagon I don't know what I would have animated on such a short notice without tipping him.

Better to let him think he accidentally ingested some malaclaw venom.

Old Dumbles too wants to see me… He sent a prefect with a note this evening asking to go to his office after dinner. Somehow, I only remembered it an hour ago. It's clearly too late now. We wouldn't want to break curfew now would we? Don't laugh. I really don't want to until I manage to either appease or get rid of D. Seriously though, there is no way in hell that I'll go see the guy one-on-one. A Harry out of reach of his pathetically-skinny-fingerlike-claws is a happy Harry. Ok, that was a bit much… it only makes for a non-desperately-unhappy Harry, but really if you compare that to my mood-average at Hogwarts it's an improvement!

So yeah… as long as he keeps it simple I ain't going.

It'll be harder from now on, though. With classes being attended I am going to become a fair deal more predictable and that scares me a little. The good news is that I talked to B… Hey! That's actually a good idea. I'll apply the concept to everyone around here! It'll make me feel like I'm James Bond all the more! What was I saying again? Guess it's time to fish one of those mini apple-pies I took at dinner for times like this. Mmh. It's even better when you eat one in your bed.

Ah yeah! B! I talked to him and we agreed to trade skills!

I wanted to teach him occlumency at first but it turns out that he is already an adept. Better that way I think. I don't want anyone finding out about our sessions and it would have taken time to bring him up to par. Time that clearly isn't here to be had since Hogwarts is going to be flooded with foreign wizards and witches in a matter of days. It wouldn't surprise me if a third of Durmstrang were at least at B's level and I know for a fact that it's a highly recommended skill for those that take the NEWTs equivalent in Runes at Beauxbatons.

It's no wonder the French have the better enchanters nowadays. It won't last, though.

I'm pretty sure that you are listening to Britain's next Merlin right now. Enchanting-wise, of course. My head isn't big enough to compare myself to him in red magic or black magic and the very idea of equaling him in green and pink magic is laughable. So, because occlumency is out and I didn't fancy telling about my wandless magic, we settled for advanced Runecrafting. He understands singular uses already but doesn't grasp the rules for combining them.

As payment he gets to teach me all about little stunts like the one he pulled over Malfoy yesterday.

I can't wait to get my first fool! B is really a decent guy for a pureblood. I think we can even be friends as long as there is still benefit for both parts. And taking into account just how far ahead each of us is in certain fields I don't think it'll be a problem for the next thirty years or so. I enjoy his dry humor in particular. My sarcasm tends to drop from my lips so heavily that it astounds and shames the other guy. But when B comes up with something, you don't know if he is serious or not.

Well, that's the impression I got at least. It's only been a day.

Anyway, we had the first class and B was respectively impressed and disgusted at my rune-knowledge and my social-skills. We both made some real progress and we only had two hours at that! Next séance is Wednesday as we'll have history of magic then and B gathers that the professor assigned to the first years is the same that his parents had. Which isn't that surprising as the guy is a ghost. I wonder how old he is. Maybe he was there for most of what he teaches? That would be wicked! But anyway, what I wanted to say is that as the guy is a ghost his awareness isn't too great and you can even leave class without him noticing.

Let's be honest here. It doesn't matter if he is good. I'm eleven. If I can get away with it I'll do it.

Hum… What else happened today? Oh yes! I explored some more of the castle with my assistant! Not the dungeons as I know where the entrance is now. It's behind a common wall with no particular sign. I have to admit that it's clever. But then again it's a necessity as the three other houses seem to hold a lot of grudge against the snakes. I understand them. The password is weird by the way. I heard rumors about how Slytherins' morals are something else but having to shout "take me as I am" in Latin as a way to announce oneself is starting to creep me out.

So, not the dungeons.

We mostly went to the first to fourth floors. And every single staircase has got some sort of trap on it! Were the guys obsessive or what? I'm really starting to relax some around Assistant. Don't get me wrong, she is insane. I couldn't see it at first but now it's very clear. Aside from her disturbing tendency to shatter classical-movies' behavior-patterns, she has this strong suicidal streak she shares with her friend. She told me that the both of them went to the forbidden corridor just to see what was in it. Oh, she added some nonsense about doing it because she thought it was likely the less dangerous location from Dumbles' list…

But I can see the glint in her eyes.

I think I could fix her if given enough time so I'll keep her until it starts endangering me. I'm pretty sure that trouble is going to find me before long with Black still running free, so there is really no need to add to the pile on my own. If she tries to drag me into some insane crap she is out. No matter how good-looking… er… the contrast… of our hairs, yes, is for external observers? Somehow I feel like I'm sinking. Maybe I should try to use occlumency to program myself into being sane again? I swear the place is starting to affect me.

Back to important facts!

So they went there because they thought it would be safer than the forest. And despite what happened I'm not quite sure that they were in the wrong. So after arriving at the door, or so they tell me, they were stumped. It was locked. Obviously I thought, being my naïve self. Who restricts an area only to leave access to it wide open? Well, wizards of course! Apparently Hannah is very good, compared to normal people at least, at charms and she knew an unlocking charm. That was second-year material! And it worked! Why didn't they put that grounding rune I saw earlier on the damn door? I doubt students could get rid of that.

Well, I could but I'm a genius. And more importantly I'm not stupid enough to try.

But the both of them entered the room, as petty things like death-warnings don't affect them. I mean, granted, it came from the barmy-one, but still! And what was inside do you ask? A Cerberus! As in keeper-of-the-gates-of-hell Cerberus! As I said, I'm agnostic. But I do know for a fact that the Greek gods existed in one form or another. Hell, I'm wearing a magical amulet from the Potter-vault with Hermes', the patron of wizards, mark on it right about now! Does it matter if they were gods, powerful wizards or spirits of nature? Of course it doesn't. And the scariest of them all, if not the one with the most power, had one of those guarding his domain!

Why do I feel like I lost ten years of life-expectancy when I wasn't even there?

So yeah, exploring with the both of them at the same time is a big no-no. Maybe once I fix my assistant, I can take a look at the other one. But I certainly won't meet with her before that. At least I think I'm getting through to the red-head. Near-death experiences do have some positive outcomes that aren't related to necromancy. Who would have guessed? Not that I fool myself with thinking the girl will keep her path straight for long if I am not there to look threatening and stern when she comes up with genetically-ingrained stupid ideas like that.

Wizards and Witches, mostly witches I'd say, don't seem to get the difference between stupid rules and rules made to keep stupid people alive.

That's fine by me as a whole. But I don't want to start getting attached to one just to have him or her die for such an aberrant reason. I know for a fact that you get over it. I saw Dudley bury way too many pets not so far from where I myself disposed of my experiments' remains not to know it. But I'm not Dudley. I don't want my pet to be chewed by a giant three-headed and most likely fire-breathing dog. It's a much more useful pet than a goldfish.

So I'm a sentimental man. So sue me.

I think I'll stop reading now. I'm way too restless to see imaginary Pratchett characters run for their lives on my bed and stay calm myself. He is quite good, though. I personally think that his ideas about the Multiverse should be quite close to the truth. In fact, I like to see the muggle point of view about things as often as possible. They tend to actually think about things before they go around stating facts about it. And they tend to try and prove what they say rather than making educated guesses. I think that that's another reason why the French and, to an extent, the Spanish tend to be better Enchanters.

With the Black-terror and the Inquisition, they got used to carefulness.

Well, maybe not. It certainly is true for muggles but wizardkind wasn't as affected by those with apparating and all. I guess that we'll know soon enough. I'll just ask one of them when they come for the tournament. And I'll go ahead and ask some random Durmstrang student why they are better at ritualism in the East while I am at it. Somehow, I don't think they'll now either. I know that I have no idea why Britain is better at potions and transfiguration.

Maybe if I lived there for some time?

But no. Even my genius has limits. I don't speak French and I hear that, aside from German it's the hardest language in all of Europe to learn. If it tops Greek, which doesn't even use the same alphabet, then I don't want to even try. There are horrible tales in the muggle world. They say that their exceptions' exceptions have exceptions. More exceptions than rules they say. It gives me chills. I can't, anyway. It's too close to Britain and I realized today that I can't change my name.

Because I know what the snitch I have does now.

It's even better than what I imagined. It's linked to Hogwarts, so I think that either a Potter stole it or made it, gave it to Hogwarts for them to use and his descendants claimed it back when he passed away. I can't blame them either way. It's truly a treasure. Only someone that caught the little fellow in an official Hogwarts match or someone that carries the name of someone who did can use it. As I don't plan to give it back to the school, I must remain a Potter. What it does though is the really surprising part. On command it can grow enough for it to open and fit a grown adult in it. It's like a spaceship inside with levers and all. You can pilot it. And it shrinks human beings with itself.

Without killing them even!

Shrinking charms don't usually work on humans. Or anything alive, really. But that thing does it. You think that's incredible? So did I, until I realized something more. It's gold! Enchanted to resist anything! It's immune to magic! It cans go through wards! And take me with it! I think you get it now… I could, and most likely will, rob purebloods I dislike blind! There is nothing but wards to stop theft in their homes. All those abandoned enchanting tomes that are going to waste right now… all the unknown rune arrays I can look at without setting up.

I'm happy.

I think it's time to diagnostic the other artifacts I have, by the way. If there is anything in the same category it'll be more than worth the hassle. I can see my survival chances growing by the minute. The only downside is that having the snitch makes one of the other artifacts that I know the purpose of next to useless. A returner. Don't confuse with time-turner. It kind of uses time too, but not in a time-altering kind of way. You activate it a first time somewhere, and when you activate it again it brings you back to the exact same place by skipping you back. Like a video-tape. But only you. Time on the universal level is not affected, but you return to the original spot exactly in the same way you were when first used.

A wizard can extend his life by up to forty years with it by rejuvenating the body before the strain becomes too much.

It can help cure fatal wounds or illnesses, too. But the main use is as a way to pass wards. Let's say you are invited at a party, taking place inside Malfoy Manor. You can't visit the more interesting places during the party and even if you can it's not a good time to play with the people inside, as they are awake. So once inside the wards you, like the genius you are, activate the device for the first time. Then you enjoy the party, insult some purebloods, get thrown out and wait. And wait some more. Until there is nobody left and Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy along with their sexually confused and confusing spawn go get the rest of the not-so-righteous.

Then you activate it again.

Look! You are in their home now! Past the wards. You are even five hours younger to boot… The downside is that, of course, you are hungry again since all the canapés and the champagne vanished from your stomach. But that's not really a problem is it? You'll just have to loot their pantry with the rest of the house! But best to eat it quick… Unless you want it to get out when you slit their throats while they sleep.

Such beautiful thoughts. I think that I'll take a six-hours-nap now. Sweet dreams!

Or not. You didn't think I was going to complain as little as I did about D did you? Because I'm clearly not finished with her! I mean, I respect her and all that. I don't think there's anyone who doesn't now. She is quite witty when she wants to. Sharp little tongue and sharper little insults. Which is most likely why I'm ranting right now. That, and I just ate the last of my emergency anti-mind-wandering supply. It'll be a nightmare tomorrow! What was I saying again? Ah yes! I'm still mad because she quite simply dominated the whole conversation. And B says that we won't be covering insults as I appear to be adequate with those already (it surprised him!) and that the kind of threats that D used won't do me any good as long as I am only a male.

He added that normal threats would only be for November! November!

With the rising number of idiots around me I'll surely need them much earlier! Probably even tomorrow as it's my first class with Lockhart! I saw him single out a random nobody at his promo for the only reason that he had written an article for the amateur section of Witch Weekly. How Lockhart even suspected it was him, I'll never know. If I gathered it right, the guy used a pseudonym. Can't say I envy him… being revealed as such in front of two hundred shoppers when you are a middle-aged man and the article was about wall-decoration…

But my point is, if he can rip so much benefit from humiliating an almost perfect nobody…

…just how long will it take for him to try a repeat performance on world-famous and handsome certified genius Harry James Potter? Not too long, that's for sure. So yeah, I lied about D. If I'm still awake it's mostly because I'm having panic-attacks. God, I hate pink mages! Every single thing wrong in my life can be tracked back to one. Every. Single. One. I already told about Dumbledore of course, about how he used his charisma and his political allies as backing to get me shipped to Dursleyland.

But he isn't the only one.

Voldemort himself is the second best there was in Britain. How do you think he went about recruiting? Pink magic can boost terror tactics in ways you can't even imagine. And he wasn't bad at buttering people either if what I hear is the truth. The only thing that he most likely lacks is empathy. That's what makes old Dumbles number one. He has empathy mastered. But I think he just chooses not to care. Damn. Four a.m. already? That just won't do. I need to be at least somewhat fresh to escape from everyone after my hide tomorrow.

I use a delayed shocking-charm set to seven a.m. and prepare myself. With a quick twist of my wand I feel myself blacking out. Stunned.