Disclaimer: I own neither Artemis Fowl nor Kuroshitsuji, all the teapots and spoons in the world could never change that fact.
Summary: AU. Imagine if Artemis and Holly never made it back to their own time after N01 sent them back but instead they get sent off to 18th century England in which they come across a certain awful nobleman and his butler.
As Holly stepped out of the house and onto the cobbled street a cool breeze made her shiver and grasp her arms. She saw a couple of men standing beside the body and she heard footsteps behind her, she remembered Artemis' warning and suddenly disappeared. She tip-toed towards the body, careful not to make any noise, the clicking of leather shoes was close behind her, she turned around. It was the butler, Sebastian. What is he doing here? She asked herself, then she answered, he is doing the exact same thing as you, investigating the body.
"Mister, you're not allowed to in this area." A man in his mid twenties with reddish-brown hair and freckles said as he stepped in front of Sebastian. Sebastian let out one of his evil smiles, "I'm sorry but it seems that my master had dropped something when he was examining the body and asked me to retrieve it." He began to step forward but was blocked again by the young man, "I'm really sorry sir. If you could just tell me what it is your master dropped, I could check for you but I cannot risk you contaminating the scene."
Sebastian tilted his head; a look of curiosity passed his face but quickly faded into a frown. "Why is it that you do not wish for me to see the body?"
"Because you might…"
"Contaminate it? I have gloves, you may watch me. I just wish to retrieve something my master had dropped. Unless, of course, you have other reasons as to why I shouldn't see the body."
"N-no sir, it's just…" The man looked frightened now, there was something about the Butler that scared him more than any dismembered body he had ever seen, and he had seen many. Sebastian took out his pocket watch and feigned surprise, "Oh, well look at the time. I believe they are serving dinner now. Why don't you and your companion go inside for a bit of soup? It's quite cold out here."
The two men were inside in only a matter of minutes and Holly felt something odd radiating from the butler. She stayed close behind him but far enough that if he were to attack she would have enough space to defend herself. She watched as he knelt beside the torso of the body and raised an eyebrow when he sniffed it. "Odd… Anyways, you know that it is a waste of your magic to shimmer whilst you are in my presence."
This sentence caught Holly off guard but she remained invisible. The butler stood up and dusted himself off, "As you wish, you may examine the body, I doubt those to men will be back for another 20 minutes." He began to walk in her direction and stopped right beside her, Holly held her breath. "I've always wondered what an imp's soul tasted of." She knew he saw her because he pushed back the brown hair the covered her ears and gave it a nip. "I can't help but believe it will taste… pure."
Ciel and Artemis sat across each other at the end of the table, isolated from the policemen discussing the murder with their measly human beliefs. "Well, I wonder where your female companion has wandered off too." Ciel said vaguely as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.
"It is a mystery, but I suppose your Butler is still off helping in the kitchens. Though I must make a criticism, the steak was far too dry and the tea was horribly bitter." Artemis replied with a smirk.
Then the dining rooms doors opened and Sebastian strode into the room, closely followed by Holly who looked extremely shaken up. Holly took the empty seat beside Artemis and Sebastian stood beside Ciel. Ciel looked up at the butler with a bored look on his face, "Have you found anything?"
"It will all be answered in due time."
Artemis put his elbow on the table and dropped his head on his closed fist and whispered discreetly as he could to Holly. "Anything?"
Holly looked distant as she sipped her wine and when a waiter offered her a steak, her face contorted in disgust and she looked away. "Artemis… he isn't human."
Artemis raised an eyebrow and was about to speak when the dining rooms door banged open again matched with the sinister sound of thunder.
A fat man with curly black hair and a goatee stood in front of the guests almost completely soaked with rain, his eyes were red and it seemed as if he was crying. She looked at the people at the table and caught sight of Lord Randall, "MY SON! MY SON'S BODY! WHY IS IT STILL OUTSIDE, WHY DIDN'T YOU BRING IT BACK TO THE MORGUE WHERE IT WOULDN'T BE DROWNED WITH RAIN!"
Lord Randall was appalled by the man's behaviour and irritated as he felt his wet fists dampen his suit. "Lord Crow…" As his mind understood what the fat man had said his face shifted into confusion. "What are you talking about? We sent the body to the morgue an hour ago."
The fat man's face contorted with rage, "DON'T LIE TO ME! WHEN I ARRIVED, THAT HORRIBLE BODY WAS LYING ON THE GROUND LIKE TRASH BEING FLOODED WITH WATER!"
Randall remained confused but his face turned stern. "I would like to go and investigate so please kindly take your hands off me." Lord Crow's face softened and he muttered an apology as he saw the water marks left on Randall's suit. "Well then men, let us take –" He didn't complete the sentence before he heard the dining rooms door closed and saw the empty space that had once contained Artemis, Ciel, Holly and Sebastian.
Artemis, Ciel, Holly, and Sebastian reached the exit when Holly and Sebastian turned to look to their friend and master.
"Artemis it may be dangerous out there, let me go first."
"Young master, it is pouring outside and your health is my first priority."
To this, the two boys' faces contorted into uncannily similar irritation. "Holly, if you believe that I would miss out on the discovery of a mysterious body that could be the key to this whole crime then you were very absent minded during out 7 years together."
"It seems as if you have forgotten who the master is Sebastian." That was all Ciel needed to say before Sebastian nodded. The four of them stepped outside in the pouring rain and it was at that moment they heard the blood curdling howl of a wolf.
Ciel and Artemis both grinned evilly, "Thing have just gotten a bit more interesting."
A/N: Sorry the chapter is sooooo short and all my fails in spelling and grammar, I kind of right these in frantic bouts at about midnight. DAVID TENNANT IS AMAZING! Anyways, hope you like it, rate and review.
BTW, I think I might end it soon because I kind of lost inspiration and I am itching to do an Artemis Fowl / Doctor Who crossover… or maybe a Kuroshitsuji / Doctor Who… meh.