**Author's note**
(OKAY I don't know why it's doing that i random thing, but let me assure you, I AM pressing ctrl at the same time XD Alright…let's see how this chapter works out…-_-)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters, or the plot, for that matter. The plot is based on the movie "Charlie St. Cloud"…or the book. Either one )
The walk back "home" was a lonely one; although not usually as lonely for the silver-eyed boy, today seemed to prove differently. Hands in his pockets, downcast eyes, he walked without emotion, with his only mission to make it to shelter before the rain kicked in. Yet today, even that felt somewhat too daunting of a task; his legs felt like lead.
...I'll be haunting you forever.
Those words still raced through his mind, echoing inside as he cringed at every word. How was it that Gold never mourned his own death, his own permanent separation from the earthly world, when Silver himself couldn't let him go? Why was it "fun" to be dead in his friend's gold eyes while in his own silver eyes, the thought hurt him more than anything else, even after these three years?
These same thoughts ran over his head for the next few hours as he ate dinner alone, overhearing how a certain Lyra Hart was expected to compete in next week's surfing tournament. They ran through his mind as he went to bed that night, alone, wondering why that name he overheard was so familiar to him. The thoughts haunted him for the next few hours, next few days, until finally, he realized that he couldn't figure out the answer s to his questions on his own.
The rain kept on coming, day in and day out. And everyday seemed to replay itself; Silver would imagine his next move every day, he was so predictable. The only surprising part came when Gold would open his mouth to speak, letting whatever was in his mind run out. It was always something new, although occasionally uncalled for. But Gold was still Gold, dead or alive.
And it was that thought that always killed Silver.
Today, the rain had come before the setting of the sun, allowing Silver to leave the cemetery earlier than usual in order to get to shelter more quickly. The overcast sky was painted slate, with a few puffy, white spots here and there. The primary drizzle slowly grew harder and harder with each passing second, and the red-haired boy's hands trembled as the drops landed with great strength on the umbrella overhead. And although the umbrella managed to keep most of the rain out, a few passing drops managed to sneak their way underneath, into the boy's hair, face, eyes.
Nobody walked in the rain today; it just proved to be too hard for them. The sidewalk was empty, and soil from the grass began to make its way towards the street besides him. The sound of the pitter-patter of the rain all around him soothed his troubled soul, although not completely. The nature around Silver calmed him.
But his silver eyes glanced upwards at a figure walking hastily a little while ahead of him, a large surfboard over their head. Barefoot, with nothing but dark-blue board shorts and a tight black shirt, the girl's long pigtails drooped because of their wetness. Taking notice of her dirty feet, it seemed as though she'd been running through the muddy sidewalk for a little while now. Silver sighed, not taking the few seconds to realize who ran before him, as he quickened his pace subconsciously. Finally reaching the wet girl, the boy knocked on the surfboard, making the brunette peek out from underneath. Her chocolate eyes widened.
"Ah- Silver!" The girl chuckled, lowering her surfboard upon seeing the umbrella he held. Silver forced himself to raise an eyebrow; although he remembered her from the cemetery, he refused to admit that he didn't know her name. Upon seeing his troubled face, the girl's smile slowly fell into a look of dissatisfaction and defeat.
"You don't remember," she stated, not asked. Before she could leave the dry shelter of his umbrella, Silver spoke up.
"O-Of course I do," he faltered. "You're…that girl from the cemetery." He was surprised to hear her chuckle this time. "I got…I got those flowers planted, the ones you wanted-"
"Yup, still the same…" Hastening her step, she quickly walked out from underneath the umbrella, once again lifting the board over her head in order to shield herself from the rain; thus, leaving Silver speechless. It tore Silver's insides, knowing that he was powerless to hold back his words around this…girl.
"Wait!" Although the pig-tailed girl kept on her way, she managed to slow down just a bit. Silver gulped; it was like he'd lost his thoughts for a moment, lost his breath; something he hadn't done since Gold's death. "You're Lyra..?" Seeing her hands, urging him to go on, a whole treasure-trove exploded in his mind; although the memories were few, they returned to him altogether. And upon realizing, his eyes widened, realizing exactly who she used to be to him, when he was still so young and naïve. "…from…", he gulped again, collecting his words, "…from Chemistry!"
"Actually, Physics, but I guess that's close enough."
Apparently, he'd hit the nail on the head; he'd never seen a smile so large, in fact, it even challenged Gold's. Even though the rain still hit his umbrella with force and clouded up his vision a bit, it was like everything had been somewhat illuminated in front of him. Letting off a relieved sigh, she giggled before, once again, meeting the confused boy underneath the umbrella, her arms gently holding the board at her side.
"And to think," she began, "you didn't remember me at all!" Silver only muttered; his attention was plastered on the shoulder that occasionally brushed his own; although not always glancing back at it, he could still feel it. Standing next to another human, especially in these weather conditions, he felt warm, and he liked it. His usually-focused attention was now lost, beyond his grasp, as he tried to look down to the ground, only to see her bare feet. Eventually, he even let his eyes wander up those feet, to her ankles, knees… No, oh God, no
The whole walk was awkward; two awkward people in an awkward situation. Oh, how the silver-eyed boy longed to speak to her, ask her how she'd been, ask her if she ever found anyone that suited her, but he held himself back. The other side of him held his emotions in chains, chains that had been present ever since, and even before, Gold's death. It was because of his wants and carelessness that he'd lost someone so close, he told himself constantly, and it was that carelessness and desire that he'd logged away, hidden to the rest of the world and eventually, himself.
"Ah," Lyra spoke up, finally, "my apartment's right there…" Turning to the red-haired boy, she placed a warm hand on his soaking shoulder. "Thanks again, Silver. After the contest, we'll catch up?" Silver nodded halfheartedly as her hand left his shoulder.
His shoulder was hot, the spot where she held it burned him from the inside out. The heat made him want to jump, run around in endless circles, throw his umbrella and scream into the rain. As he saw her adjust her board, pull down her shirt, he knew he'd gone crazy. He had to have! Was it even possible for a normal human to feel this way? It couldn't be; Gold would have hopefully mentioned it before….or would he? Would he have mentioned that emptiness in his chest, the pain in his gut, his dryness of tongue?
"Lyra!" He didn't know why her name had slipped out, and so loud too. Hearing her voice, her surfboard lowered despite the rain, said girl whirled around, surprise written all over her. Silver stood there, arguing with himself until his eyes met hers. He knew it. He'd catch up with her today.
"We could, you know," he stuttered, not knowing where to begin, "w-we could catch up over….food, or something…" The brunette remained silent, staring, tugging on a pigtail. Silver panicked; of course she wouldn't want to, idiot. She's spoken only three sentences to you! Why would she?
He heard her chuckle. "Dinner, you mean?" Silver nodded, vigorously, almost desperately. Her smile fell as her petite hand grabbed onto one of her soaked pigtails.
"Silver…" Lyra dragged on, pulling hard on her pigtail, a pained expression on her face, "my surfing thing's in five days…I need the practice and…yeah."
He couldn't take it. He couldn't let her go now; he never had her to begin with. That burning, familiar loneliness built up, stored up inside of him until he knew what he wanted. He had never wanted something so badly before, because this time, he knew that he needed it.
"J-Just dinner, I promise!" Now, Silver held the surprise, along with the girl in front of him. Who knew that this half hour of trudging along in the rain could reawake such locked away memories? Scratching his neck, Silver wondered why it had happened now. Lyra twisted and fidgeted in her spot.
"I hope you still cook as well as you used to say…" Silver didn't even take time to process her threat, he nodded so quickly. The nod was almost as desperate as before. "Yeah!"
"M'kay…."she stated, her chocolate brown eyes staking out the ground intently. Meeting his eyes once again, she smiled. "Why not?" Yeah, why not?
Silver's thoughts froze; whatever he panicked about before instantly left him as he heard those two words. Now, now he panicked about other subjects. Not too experienced in the subject of the female being, Silver proved clueless on how he was supposed to impress and please this girl.
"So wait, at my house?" Silver asked, nervously. Lyra rolled her eyes over dramatically.
"Well, didn't you say you knew how to cook?" Oh, right.
Waving awkwardly, the girl bounced up the stairs to her apartment room while Silver stood there in the rain. He never noticed how nice she looked as her hips swayed naturally with each step she took. It was only then that he came to realize how much he'd missed in his three years of solitude. But then again, he probably hadn't missed much.
"Aww man, Silver! And you didn't wanna tell me!" Silver cringed at the words shouted from the apparition's mouth, glancing at him as he paced back and forth nervously. Silver rolled his eyes. Gold jumped on the nearby rock, playing with the hat he'd grown so accustomed to. "I SO would've helped you out! I mean, we still talk and stuff! And I know Lyra like the back of my hand!"
While Gold jabbered incessantly, the silver eyed boy picked up his pace. "I know, which is why I didn't tell you in the first place…"
"Anyways," Gold continued, falling on his back on the soft ground, "you have to, HAVE TO, make the food yourself. Girls like that for some reason."
Crap
"Second, you gotta wear something different than you always do! That black jacket'll make her run, trust me." Silver eyed his jacket, wondering what in the world could possibly be wrong with it. Looking back up, his expression said it all.
"Thirdly!" Gold paused, collecting his thoughts. Looking up to Silver, who stared at him with a waiting expression, he swallowed. "Thirdly….uh, be yourself?"
"Seriously, Gold. I could've thought of that on my own!" He was panicking. Now he knew he'd gone crazy. He didn't think it was possible that a human being could feel this much stress without bursting on the spot. The feeling felt so intense, so overwhelming, he was almost certain he'd faint on the spot.
"Woah man," Gold said, throwing his hands up in desperation, "no need to get all PMS-y on me."
The red-haired boy sighed, plopping down on the giant rock besides the cautious Gold. Head in his hands, he breathed. "It's just…"
"…just…?"
"Just…I don't know. I thought you'd be the one, out of all people, to give me a heads up about this kind of stuff." And it was true, too. "I can almost count the hours, the minutes, until I embarrass myself. And when I do," he sighed, "she'll be gone. Gone for a month or God knows how long."
Gold, awkwardly patting his companion on the back, sighed. "You'll do fine, man. You always make it through somehow." He'd never witnessed his friend so nervous, and he knew Silver needed this. He needed something to live for, because now, Gold wasn't always there to push him onwards like he used to. But at the same time, he remained hesitant, actually thinking the whole situation out for once.
He was almost afraid to countdown when the sunset arrived every day, for he feared that when he reached zero, Silver wouldn't show up. He was afraid that one of these days, Silver would give up on him, leave him for dead, leave him for Lyra. But he convinced himself that this was nothing more than a schoolboy crush; Silver didn't know what he was talking about, did he?
At that same moment, the raven-haired boy shivered at the thought of the cold that waited for him on the other side of the spectrum, feeling that with every passing day, it was tugging on his sleeve. He couldn't go, not alone. So he cleared his throat, catching Silver's attention.
"You're coming back tomorrow, right?"
Silver stared at him. "When haven't I come back?" Gold only shrugged his shoulders, muttering something unintelligible. Silver threw a rock. "Come on, Gold. You're such a baby sometimes. I will come back, and you can count on it. Besides, I haven't broken a promise, have I?"
Now thinking about it, Gold realized that he hadn't. Not yet, and hopefully, not ever. Seeing Silver's relief, Gold only pressed upon the subject once more.
"Well, you know, you seemed so excited about your date-"
"DINNER"
"Dinner", Gold corrected himself, "that I thought you'd totally forget, so I'm just making sure…" He trailed off, looking to the twilight sky. Silver contemplated on the words spoken.
"Remember, I'm still your friend whatever you do…"
"Mmhmm…"
Silence.
"But I still expect you to keep that promise…"
"I know, Gold."
Silence.
"…'Bros before Hoes-'"
"God, Gold, I KNOW!"
And Silver couldn't help but let a small smile slip onto his face as he closed his eyes. Gold fiddled with his fingers before looking to the side.
"It's getting late, you know." Silver nodded. Getting up, he faced Gold once more. "I'll stop by before she comes, okay? Happy?"
Gold smiled, the setting sun hitting his forever white teeth. "Happiest camper EVER!" Sitting up on the rock, he nodded towards Silver, who ran towards the cemetery to inspect the rain damage. His gold eyes could only stare after his friend, sad, knowing that this couldn't last forever.
In the end, it would be Silver who'd leave him alone.