Author's Note: My first idea for this, and it's actually not humor. But I moved it to second, so the first one will be more representative of the fic. Anyway, BB tries out a new method of killing, but an OC ruins his plans with her own stupidity.

Betty Buchanan dreamed of being a famous chef. She loved to cook, and she loved it when people loved the food she made. She was currently working as a waitress at Sopolo's Specialties, but it was only a matter of time before they thought she was qualified enough to make their 5-star food.

That was why she was currently watching the Food Network, gleaning her knowledge from the world's greatest chefs.

"First," explained the man on TV, his voice thick with an Italian accent, "you slice the chicken just like this."

Her hands followed his pattern, about to slice the chicken into chicken into bits small enough for her soup, when the doorbell rang. Betty walked over to the door, wondering who it could be.

"Hello," greeted the pale, dark-haired man who faced her.

"Who are you?" Betty inquired.

"Why, I'm Rue Ryuzaki, here to fix your slow internet!" he exclaimed.

"I didn't call for anyone..."

"But your internet is slow, correct?" he asked. The young woman pondered this question. It was true, there were times she wished it could be faster, but she just put up with it usually.

"I guess," she agreed.

"Perfect. Just show me to your computer."

Betty led the man through her kitchen, which was on the way to the computer desk, when she suddenly wondered something. Why didn't he have any tools? And shouldn't a professional be wearing something other than a t-shirt and jeans? Her job had taught her not to discriminate for a customer's appearance, so she hadn't paid as much attention as she should have.

Whirling around to face the man who was not here for her computer, Betty was surprised as he reacted more quickly, grabbing her head and dunking it into the boiling pot of water that would have been her soup.

Pain immediately filled her mind, every part of her head burning as she flailed to get out. After a few seconds she managed to dump the pot over. Unfortunately it fell straight onto her chest.

She screamed at the transferred pain, falling onto the tile floor and cracking her head. Her assailant sighed.

"Well, that was easy. I had such a wonderfully slow, painful death planned for you. Do you know what boiling water can do to you? Probably, since you were about to separate that chicken flesh from the bone by sticking it in there."

He knelt over her, watching as more blood leaked out of her head.

"It works the same way with humans. The skin and muscle peels right off."

The man paused a moment to stare dreamily at the thought.

"Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk. But you went and ruined the excitement by accidentally falling over. Next time I'll just push someone in at Yellowstone Park."

And with that, he proceeded to wipe the every fingerprint off of her furniture, wondering exactly what L would think about the combination of blood and burns.