Part V

Tonight, however, sleep refused to come. For some reason, I could not get that long-past moment out of my mind. Over and over I replayed that kiss, the closeness. The foolishness on my part. I knew better. And yet still, even so many years later, I couldn't shake that moment. I had a moment of doubt; I should not have come from Aizu. Seeing him... Seeing THEM was too hard.

Genzaisensei was not home yet, and at this late hour I was reasonably confident that he and the girls would be spending the night at the dojo. The clinic was mine for the night, my responsibility and my haven. I had a sneaking suspicion that my partner had understood my need for solitude and had made that decision before we even sat down to dinner.

For a moment, I thought fondly of the old man, but it wasn't long before my thoughts turned back to Kensan.

And, as thoughts so often do, the memories raised those same feelings of frustration and desire and hope and fear. I could not leave the clinic long untended, but there were no patients spending the night and, at this late hour, emergencies were unlikely. I felt free to give in.

Rolling over on my futon, the sobs that I had been holding back for hours wracked my body as they had that long-ago day.

I had fallen asleep at some point, because the knock that interrupted my by then quiet night definitely startled me awake. Though I had no memory of actually going to sleep, the knock was real and no dream, for it came at the main clinic door. Instantly alert, I paused only to grab a wrap to cover my sleepwear and made my way quickly in the dark to the treatment area. A slight figure was silhouetted against the moonlight. Long hair tied back in a disheveled ponytail, he was leaning against the doorframe, somewhat short of breath. He was taller than I, though not by very much. I lit a lamp as I bid him enter. He had very broad shoulders and was in very good shape. His eyes were very dark and shadowed with worry.

"Gomen nasai, sensei. I don't want to disturb you so late at night, but one of my kids is sick, and can't stop coughing up. We wanted to try to wait until morning but I'm worried."

Suddenly I was on full alert. The niggling thought that there was a parallel and a reason for my mind working as it had was shoved aside roughly in the immediacy of the illness.

"Where?" I said, tying the wrap more securely and grabbing my kit. I followed him out into the street, only pausing briefly to post the notice board we'd had made that I was off on an emergency and that my partner was at the dojo in extreme need. Between Genzaisensei and myself, one or the other was at the dojo often enough that it made sense, and the price had been negligible. It was certainly neater than if one of us had done it ourselves...

He said it wasn't far, and as we ran through the streets to the sickbed, I asked him some background questions.

"She's only seven, one of the youngest ones," he said, and a part of me flinched. "Shortly after dinner she said she felt sick and wanted to lie down. She looked pale so I helped her set up her futon, but she was getting chills and sweating. She looked very poorly," he said, the worry evident in his voice. "She started being sick about two hours ago. It doesn't stop for long, and she's running a fever but she keeps complaining about how cold she is."

I asked if he knew if she had eaten anything unusual earlier in the evening, but he hadn't seen her do so.

"How many children do you have?"

"There are about six staying with me, at the moment... Most of them are day students."

Students? "Staying with you?"

"Hai. I'm sorry. I'm the new teacher at the school. Some of the students stay with me overnight, those who live too far to walk daily, or those with parents who work nights." At that moment, he entered the building to which I'd walked Ayame and Suzume many a time, and I filed the information away for later reference. At the moment, I had more important things to do.

He led me into a back room, where one of the older children was wiping the head of my new patient with a wet cloth.

"Sensei, is she going to be all right?" one of the others asked.

"The doctor is going to do all she can," he said. "Pray to the kami and stay out of her way, that's the best thing we can do right now." The warmth and concern in his tone helped to reassure the children in some small way, and did quite a bit for me as well. First, it showed that he really DID have a head on his shoulders, and that he knew how to use it. Secondly, he had faith both in the kami and in my abilities as a physician, despite the fact that we had never before met, and I wasn't sure that he knew my name.

It was with no small shock I realized that whatever this child before me had come in contact with was milder, but otherwise very similar to that poison which had been in Beshimi's dart all those years ago, meant for me but which had nearly killed young Yahiko instead. Jimsonweed? I wondered if the child had gotten hold of some, and how.

I told the young teacher - now, in the fairly well lit room, I could see he was probably midway between my age and Kensan's - to bring me the supplies I needed. The older child who had been wiping the younger's face came forward.

"I'm Takeshi. Chiyo's my little sister. Can I help?"

"Yes, Takeshi, you can. Do what you've been doing, help me keep her cool and give her a little bit of water when I'm done. She must not become dehydrated.

"I'm very proud of you, Takeshi. You're very brave."

"Sensei had me do it," the young boy admitted shyly. "He says that keeping busy is a good way to keep from being scared. And it's okay to be scared, as long as you don't give in."

I couldn't help but smile. "That's exactly what it means to be brave. Even when you're afraid, you just keep doing your best. Running away never helps anyone, but denying that you're afraid is just plain silly. I get afraid all the time," I admitted in a confidential tone, loud enough to be heard by all the children, "but if I gave in to it, I wouldn't be able to help Chiyo, or anyone else."

I had talked as I worked, and as the mentor of these children returned, I asked him to take the other children into another room. "This won't be very pretty. Takeshi, maybe you should stay with them?"

"But I wanna help!" Desperation and fear showed on his young face. "I'm scared but I'm scared to leave Chiyochan too!" He bit his lip and I wished I could take the time to hug him.

"I know. But I have to draw some blood, and that isn't very much fun. Maybe your sensei could stay here and help me, and you could watch the others for him? That would be very helpful and you wouldn't have to watch me."

He thought that over for a moment, then nodded - relieved, I think. He rounded up his friends and brought them into the school room. "We can practice some calligraphy for Chiyo and sensei," he told them.

"That is one amazing young man," I said, showing my impromptu assistant what I needed to do.

"They're all good kids," he agreed.

I nodded, and did my job.

I don't know how long it took, and I can't say we worked tirelessly, but neither did we give up despite our growing fatigue. Still, at last Chiyo's chills seemed to subside, and her dry heaves slowed and stopped. I sat back on my heels.

"From here on, it's up to her and the medicine," I said. "I'll arrange to send some over with the girls before I go to sleep. Genzaisensei will manage quite well without me this morning," I added ruefully as I noticed early morning light creeping through the windows.

"Wait a moment. You're Takani Megumisensei, aren't you? I'm sorry. I couldn't think of your name. Ayame and Suzume talk about you and their grandfather all the time. I suspect at least one of them wants to grow up like their 'Aunt Megumi'."

"They call me that?" I asked slowly. "They always call me "Megumisan" or "Megumineesan" when they want something, but I've never heard them call me their aunt." I was surprised, but very definitely pleased.

"And you didn't hear it from me, either." He smiled. "Let me just tell the others that Chiyochan is going to be better, thanks to our little school's new hero, Takani Megumisensei. Then I'll walk you back to the clinic."

"Oh, it really isn't necessary. It's not far at all, and you've had no more sleep than I. Probably less." I started to rise. "But I thank you for the offer. What is it?"

He had looked at me strangely as I stood. He turned away from me, his face flaming. "Araa... Your... umm.. Your robe..." He was as shy as Kensan had been when I'd first come back to the dojo with him. I looked down.

My face heated up as quickly as his had. I couldn't even be angry at him. He had turned away, after all. It was hardly his fault that the light wrap I had donned over the Western style nightgown had slipped. It was a nice one, too, for which I had saved up for quite some time before buying. Rich navy satin, with lots of soft lace and a rather immodest cut, I had intended to wear it for my husband. Since the occasion had never arisen, I bought it anyway and wore it when I needed to feel better. It had made me feel sexy and a little naughty until that moment; then suddenly I just felt as embarrassed as he looked.

Half a heartbeat later, my wrap was tied more tightly than ever and I gathered up the last of my supplies. "I'll send the medicine over with the girls when they come to school," I said over my shoulder as primly as I could manage. For some reason, he looked even more embarrassed.

Clutching my bag in front of me, I hurried through the door and made my way through the streets as quickly and unobtrusively as possible towards the clinic, where my futon and sleep awaited me eagerly.

Even as I walked, I was more aware of the thinness of my wrap and the sensual material of the nightgown against my skin. More upsetting was the increased awareness of the uncontrolled reaction my body had to the combination of the excitement of the moment, the apparent attention of an attractive man, and my own irrelevant attraction to him. In the darkness of the night, and in the urgency of the healing work we had done, what I wore had been almost as irrelevant as the cicadas chirruping outside. Now, in the burgeoning dawn, the light had revealed more of what I hadn't thought so carefully to hide, and people were beginning their morning routines. It was with no small relief that I slipped into the clinic door to find it as yet empty.

Beating a hasty retreat to my quarters, I scribbled a note to my partner, mixed the medicine carefully for young Chiyo, and left them both on the table for him to find before sliding back into my futon at long sweet last. Only as I drifted to sleep did I realize I had not even gotten the teacher's name.