Dreaming

Chapter 8

Previously…

Ralph walked into the bathroom and confirmed there was a Jacuzzi and shower. "Dominic Howard owes me a favor. I've got one week. So what do you want to do first?"

It wasn't until Ralph's last night there that Derek finally mustered up the courage to ask about Casey. They were sitting outside on the beach in lounge chairs. It was sunset and a gentle salty breeze was blowing. Derek keep picking up handfuls of sand and letting it run through his fingers. Ralph had carefully avoided the subject of Casey knowing that Derek would bring it up when he was ready. It was also the reason Ralph had come. He knew Derek needed to talk about Casey. Ralph was the only other person who knew that Casey had flown back to LA every week to see Derek in the hospital. He was tired of being the go between and he wanted to help his friend resolve whatever it was that pulled and repelled them at the same time.

"So you're leaving tomorrow." He sounded depressed.

"Yep. I had a good time, D." Ralph cracked open a beer and wished he had something harder for this conversation.

"You make it sound like we were on a date." Derek said dryly.

Ralph laughed, but he knew Derek was trying to act funny to ease into the serious stuff.

"Ralph?"

"Yeah, D?"

Derek looked straight out to the ocean. His voice tight. "How's Case?"

Ralph took a deep breath and chose his words carefully. "She would say she's living the dream. Everyone else would say she's crazy perfect. Always in control. Nothing fazes her."

Derek turned to look at Ralph. Questions in his eyes. "And you?"

"I would say she's lost her balance. That she's just posing, and inside she's really lost her way."

Derek looked down and closed his eyes, silent.

Ralph looked at Derek and saw his pain. "I would say that half of her is missing, and she's been fighting that reality for a long time."

Derek looked at Ralph. His eyes glassy. "I feel like half of me is missing too." He whispered.

"Then do something about it D. Stop this craziness."

Derek shook his head. "She doesn't want me Ralph. I tried to stay in touch."

"You know as well as I do that Casey has never known what she wants. It's always been you Derek. C'mon D. I thought I was the dumb one here."

"You're not dumb Ralph."

"Then listen to me."

Derek rubbed his hands over his face and through his hair. "I don't know what to do?"

"Fly back with me. She can't ignore you if you're right in front of her."

Derek groaned and fell back into the lounge chair.

Derek was quiet on the flight to Italy. Ralph had anticipated Derek coming back with him and had already paid for an airline ticket. Ralph looked over at Derek every 15 minutes or so to check if he was still breathing. He wasn't used to this introspective Derek.

They arrived at the hotel after ten in the evening. Casey had a concert that night and wouldn't be back until midnight or later. Derek spent a lot of time considering his first move. He felt just as nervous as he had when he was fifteen and first kissed a girl. He needed to make a good impression on Casey. Then he remembered he had ducked that first impression thirteen years ago and it made him laugh.

Ralph had gained access to the spare key to Casey's room and Derek let himself in. He looked around. It was a hellava room. There was a large flat screen plasma TV. Plush wine and gold colored couch and chair. A kitchenette in the corner complete with bar. Vanilla overwhelmed his nostrils and he noticed several candle warmers on various tables. As he looked around, he noticed Casey had very few personal touches in the room. Of course Casey usually only spent one or two nights in any hotel so that made sense. He crossed over to the bed and opened her suitcase ruffling around her clothes. He grinned as a wicked thought crossed his mind. It had been a long time since he had last pranked Casey. Maybe this would make the best first impression. Without a second thought, Derek removed all of Casey's clothing and looked for a place to hide them. The air vent - perfect. He then turned to the closet and chest of drawers to make sure he didn't miss anything. He opened the drawer of the bedside table last figuring she probably didn't keep anything in there.

Derek was wrong. Inside the drawer were two pictures. One frame held a photo of their entire family taken about six months after Simon's birth. The other picture was one of just her and Derek taken at the end of their senior year of college. It was from the Spring Fling semi-formal. Derek had his arms around Casey's waist and she was gorgeous in the spaghetti strapped pink dress. Their smiles were radiant. He remembered that Casey's boyfriend had dumped her only two days before the dance. Casey had been surprised that Derek was still free and had agreed to take her. Derek wasn't free by accident though. Every time he considered asking someone to the dance he just couldn't imagine having a good time. Well, he knew he could have a good time with anyone but a great time would require a great girl who knew everything about him. We look so young and care-free. Derek mused. He sat down on the plush bed and ran his hand through his hair as he stared at the picture.

He remembered dancing and laughing. He remembered how it felt to hold her, to have her bright smile directed at him, to feel her arms around his neck. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. That was the night he realized she was the center of his life… and he didn't mind. In fact, he couldn't imagine the alternative. He had wanted to tell her how he felt, but didn't have the courage. Instead he made her go for a walk after the dance had ended. He had held her soft hand as they walked in a comfortable silence. As they approached the lake, he leaned against the bridge and pulled her into him. She laid her head on his strong chest and relaxed into him. He was nervous and his heart thumped loudly, but she didn't seem to notice. His left hand rested on her slim waist as the fingers of his right hand caressed her long dark wavy hair. He closed his eyes and breathed in her vanilla scent. He almost moaned as she nestled her head deeper into his chest trying to get closer. They fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.

He moved his right hand down and circled her waist. He brought his left hand up to her face and rubbed his thumb across her smooth cool cheek.

"Case" he whispered as his lips brushed the top of her head.

"I had a great time tonight, D."

"Me too" he said softly trying to build up the confidence to talk about his feelings.

"Case" he started again.

A huge rain drop hit Casey in the face and she looked up. Raining began pelting them and they had no choice but to run back to the dorms. The mood had been ruined before Casey realized he had been trying to tell her something.

After staring at the picture for another minute he stood up and placed the pictures back in the drawer. His pocket vibrated and he pulled out the phone. It was a text message from Ralph saying C ETA 10. Derek looked around the room in panic looking for a place hide. He ran into the bathroom and jumped in the large shower. He closed his eyes and tried to slow his breathing. He knew he was being ridiculous but couldn't stop himself.

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