Bastila would not pace. No. Never. Bastila would not pace because a Jedi did not pace. To pace was to admit one was anxious and real Jedi could control their emotions better than that. No, a real Jedi would... a real Jedi would meditate in times like these!
With a goal of meditation firmly in mind, Bastila stopped tapping her foot incessantly on the floor.
And, really, it wasn't as though she was worried or anything. Certainly, Revan's mental injuries had been beyond her power to heal, but the masters certainly could fix them, right? And, of course, Revan would be completely reasonable when they did heal those injuries. It wasn't like the Dark Lord would just start killing people... right?
Oh, who was she kidding? Killing people was what Sith Lords did for a living, wasn't it? At least, that's what she'd been led to believe. She had never quite believed it of Revan, of course. She was pretty sure Revan never did anything without a clear, strategic reason behind it. That was part of the reason Revan had been tauted as the Perfect Jedi before her descent to darkness. She had always calmly calculated everything without even a regard to her emotions. She had practically embodied the code.
But Bastila had been much younger when Revan went off to the Mandalorian wars. Was her childhood memory really that dependable? Revan had seemed surprisingly reasonable aboard the Sith vessel; not what Bastila had expected at all of a Sith Lord. Perhaps Revan had been hiding her true nature? What if she had been hiding it all the time Bastila had known her? What if beneath that calculating exterior lay...
"That is completely ridiculous," she snarled at herself, forcibly prying her thoughts away from the questions that had plagued her ever since the fateful battle.
Bastila was meditating now, which meant her thoughts were calm and controlled and collected and of course that was not her finger tapping repeatedly against her kneecap.
"Oh, blast it all!" This would not do.
Perhaps a different venue would provide the peace of mind she needed. Yes, the gardens would suit perfectly.
Walking through the sloping halls of the Jedi enclave was soothing in its familiarity. How many times had she strolled these paths as a child and young adult? How many times had she sat and meditated in this garden, the tranquil atmosphere helping her find the inner peace all Jedi sought?
Sitting down, she willed herself into the calm serenity of meditation.
"Bastila? I thought I might find you here." The padawan startled as she heard Master Zhar's voice. How had she not sensed his presence? Opening her eyes, she saw that it was already evening. Had she fallen asleep? No, that was ridiculous. She had simply been deep in her meditation was all.
She stood up, the stiffness in her muscles evidence of how much time she had spent in meditation, and bowed to the enclave's leader. "Master Zhar. Do you have news for me?"
He made a small gesture and Bastila realized for the first time just how tired the master seemed. "Walk with me, Padawan Shan."
She did so, glad to get her blood flowing and work the stiffness out of her muscles. She waited for some news of Revan's condition, good or ill, but instead, Master Zhar decided to speak on other things. "The gardens are looking wonderful this year. It would seem one of the apprentices has quite the gift for nurturing life." Knowing that she was not expected to answer, Bastila remained silent, waiting for him to speak again.
"Revan's mind is broken beyond our skill to repair. We also were unable to pull any information from what is left. Everything is too disjointed."
"I see," Bastila murmured. "I suppose... I suppose it is for the best then." The words tasted bitter in her mouth, however, and unbidden, the memory of Ondar's desperate question came to mind: Why?
"Is it?" the Master asked rhetorically. "We are left with too many unanswered questions. What pulled Revan to the dark side? Where did the Sith amass such a quantity of ships and soldiers? Where did they go after the war and what did they find?"
"When we confronted Revan, she spoke of failings of the Jedi and the Republic. She also said something which I find disquieting. She said that we do not understand the truth of things, as though there is some far greater power at work."
"That may very well be, Padawan Shan. The Force works in mysterious ways. We can merely accept what guidance it gives us at times like these."
Bastila nodded, accepting the lesson, though it was one she had heard countless times before. The conversation fell into a lull as they neared the entrance to the enclave proper. However, Bastila felt that there was something still missing. Tentatively, she asked, "Nothing can be done for Revan?"
Master Zhar seemed to hesitate a moment before making an internal decision. "There is one path remaining to us. I do not even wish to consider it; but the fact remains that the knowledge Revan holds is invaluable to us and could mean the difference in this war."
Bastila looked sharply at the Jedi Master, wondering what sort of last resort he could be considering. However, he would tell her no more and soon enough they were bidding their farewells as Master Zhar excused himself to get some rest.
And, somehow, Bastila was left with more questions than she had begun with.
In all her years of life, Bastila had never had so little to do. Growing up in the enclave had been full of classes and lessons and study and practice and when she had not been occupied with all that, the children her own age often had some sort of game to pass the time. Now she was a Padawan and had outgrown such childish pastimes. The masters of the enclave were all overly busy between their normal duties and the ones placed upon them with the arrival of Bastila's captive and had no time to spare for giving extra lessons. She spent some of her free time in the library, reading, and some practicing and training, but even those got tiresome after a while.
The third day after her conversation with Master Zhar, Bastila decided to venture beyond the enclave. However, she was soon discouraged by the baleful looks of the local farmers. The disparaging remarks she heard about Jedi gave her enough of a clue why they seemed to distrust her. She wondered what had given these people cause to dislike Jedi so much.
Perhaps it was fear and ignorance. Jealousy? Bastila had heard many such explanations for why those not gifted with the ability to sense the Force hated those possessing it. Still, the dislike did not sit well with Bastila, especially after hearing Revan's accusation that the Jedi had neglected their duty to the Republic.
Could Revan be correct?
No, Revan had merely suffered from the delusions of the dark side of the force. Or, perhaps, she had been trying to instill doubt in them. Doubt in the Jedi Code was the first step on the path towards darkness. Bastila mentally chided herself for even entertaining such thoughts.
Had that been Revan's goal? It was impossible to tell, but the thought filled Bastila with a sense of foreboding. Had that shot not been fired upon Revan's bridge, what would the result of their confrontation have been? If Revan had won, would Bastila be dead? Or would she be kept alive, her doubts and uncertainties playing at her mind until she, too, succumbed?
And there Revan would have been, full of confidence and charisma and the answers to all of her dilemmas. The thought made Bastila feel unclean. Suddenly, the scene on the bridge took on a whole new light. That was not the same Revan she remembered; that was the Dark Lord of the Sith manipulating them. She had played with their emotions by appearing to be the same person as within their memories.
Bastila's thoughts were interrupted by what could only be described as a ripple in the Force. It was such a unique sensation and such a strong one that she was shocked into inaction for a moment. It was only for a moment; after the shock wore off, she was on her feet and racing towards the council chamber. After all, there was only one thing in the enclave that would cause such an occurrence. Revan.
As she rushed towards the place where she knew the Masters to be, unlit lightsaber in hand, the Jedi in her way scattered, each looking as confused as would be expected. Ignoring etiquette, she barged through the doors... only to stop cold.
Revan was still blissfully unconscious, no longer dressed in her ridiculous Mandalorian battle armor. The Masters arrayed around her were all now looking up at Bastila with some degree of surprise. They all looked exhausted.
Only Zhar seemed more amused than anything at her sudden entrance. "I suppose this saves us the trouble of summoning you. Padawan Shan, allow us to introduce the Republic's newest soldier."