Ok, first I want to just say thank you all for faving these oneshots and leaving reviews. Your words encourage me to keep writing =) (Also, shout out to Era-Age for giving me advice on future oneshots and how to hold on to those slippery ideas!)

I thought it was time to do another funny, but back before the kids. This oneshot, in my universe, takes place before the tower and after Cyprus. Altaïr and Maria have been traveling together for months now and have just reached India in a town just a few days away from their destination. However, the inn has no more rooms open, except for a small, one bed room and Maria, well...doesn't like the idea of sharing a room with her traveling companion, much less a bed. =D Yes Maria, I'm evil to you.

ENJOY!

"What do you mean there is only one room open?" Maria nearly shouted at the innkeeper, a small, pimple-faced boy of around sixteen looked absolutely terrified at the women standing before him. Thank God that a counter separated him from her...

The boy stammered in reply, amazed that a women had courage to raise her voice against a man. He cleared his throat after a failed attempt of speaking and tried again, "Y-yes...there is only one room..." he suddenly smirked at her, forgetting that only a minute ago she was menacing and willing to rip his neck out, "Why is a women traveling by herself, anyway? These parts are pretty dangerous...especially for one as pretty as..."

He didn't get the chance to finish, as Maria suddenly reached forward, leaning over the counter, and grabbed him by the collar. Maria stared with Death's eyes as she hissed, "Control your hormones, boy. And choose your words carefully when near me." She breathed out calmly, Altaïr told her to always keep her anger under control with the locals. Better not to leave behind enemies, "I'm not traveling alone, which is why I requested two rooms." She let go of the boy and he retreated to the back wall, eyes still wide even if the women has calmed down visibly.

The boy only shrugged, "I'm s-sorry...but we only have that one room..."

"Fine, how big is it?"

"Not that big..."

"And only one bed?"

"Y-yes..."

Maria screamed, throwing her fists into the air in exasperation. She couldn't believe she has to share a room with the Assassin! Much less a bed! Oh, curse this inn to the deepest pits of Hell!

After a moment of venting her anger, Maria snarled and turned her attention back to boy, who still looked at her with horror and disgust at her behavior. She handed him a few coins, hissing out, "Fine...I'll take it..." and the key landed in her hand with a jingle. Pocketing the key, she left the inn, ignoring the stares and sneers from the other patrons.

Once outside, she turned to the hooded man leaning up against the door frame, seemingly staring at nothing in particular.

Maria cleared her throat. Again with a hacking sound when he did not respond, "Hey, I got us a room." she finally said after he did not acknowledge her. She felt like slapping him just for ignoring her...

Altaïr bobbed his head up and down, finally paying attention to her, "Alright. We'll sleep here until dawn then we continue for Delhi."

"Oh, by the way...you get the floor."

Altaïr looked up, brown eyes finally out of the shadows of his hood, "What?"

Maria smirked as they entered the inn, while gaining glances and glares, "Mm, the innkeeper says there is only one room open, with one bed. He said it was small, but I haven't looked around first."

Altaïr sighed. He really was hoping for a soft bed to climb into, but did not want to share it with...her. They said nothing as they climbed the stairs to the second floor. Passing several other doors, they came to the end of the hallway, found the door that matches the key, and swung it open.

Altaïr and Maria gaped. The room was incredibly small, with nothing but a window, a small desk, and a rather large bed big enough for two people. There was hardly even a walkway...

Maria squeezed her way past the edge of the bed and desk to open the window. Altaïr tossed his gear onto the bed and began removing his weapons, save for his hidden blade. After the two became more comfortable, Maria spoke, "Alright, I don't know about you, but I'm heading to the bathhouse. I'm tired of smelling of horse, sweat, and blood for the day."

Altaïr smirked. Of course, she was going to bathe while she leaves him to look for information, "I'll be at the bar downstairs then..."

"Getting drunk already, Assassin? I never imagined someone in your profession to be walking around in a daze."

Altaïr chuckled, "I'm merely looking for...people of interest...I'll see you in a few hours, Maria." Before he stepped out of the doorway, he stopped and turned back to her, "Oh, and don't get kidnapped. I want to sleep tonight."

Maria was about to snort and chew him out for believing she was a damsel in distress, but Altaïr slipped out of the doorway with a smirk across his face.

Altaïr sat at a table, along with a few rowdy bunch of Indian men. They smashed their wooden mugs together, cheering about a 'hard day's work'. Altaïr has easily gained their trust, and along with information that may be valuable later in the future.

"So, Hazun...tell'sus about that gal you walked 'n here with e'rlier?" a sailor asked Altaïr, forcing the Assassin to attention upon hearing his fake name, "Is she gud in the sheets? Looks 'ike the kind dat would put up uh fight, heh?" The rowdy man with an ungraciously-kempt beard chuckled as he drank more of his ale.

Altaïr chuckled, forcing a proud smile across his face as he sipped his own ale. Oh, Maria would kill him if she heard him, "Why, yes. Just last night, we decided to roll around in some hay just off the side of the road...almost got caught, too." The sailors banged their mugs against the table, slapping their knees in howling laughter. Oh, Maria would definitely kill him if he continued this...

Altaïr stood up from his chair, placing a coin on the table for the waitress. Saying a final goodbye to the men, he retreated to his room.

He most certainly did not expect what he saw upon opening the door.

Maria flung around towards her intruder, arms crossing over her bare feminine areas, "HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF KNOCKING, YOU BLOODY ASSASSIN? GET OUT!" she stumbled over the desk and foot of the bed, tripping slightly in her mad rush to punch Altaïr and shove him out of their room.

Altaïr didn't need another warning. He already flung the door closed and slumped down in the hallway, dazed and pondering over what had just occurred. God and Allah, Maria looked...he shook the thought away, fearing over the possibility that she could read minds. Some people in the hallway opened their doorways to see what the fuss was about, but quickly returned to their own rooms once they saw Altaïr's glare.

After a few minutes of silence, the door finally opened. Altaïr began to stand up, but Maria grabbed him by the back of the neck and flung him against the nearest wall. Lip curling back into a snarl, she hissed, "Erase. That. Image. From. Your. Brain."

"Good to see you, too"

LOL LOL LOL! Go Maria and poor Altaïr XD He wishes he and Maria would do it in a haystack!

I got a couple more oneshots on my little notepad, so I'm good for a few days!

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