Disclaimer: I own my dreams, in which Leah, being the awesome girl she is, kicked the ass of everyone who made her feel bad, and that's pretty much it.

Leah never knew

"Come on Leah, stop being so stupid" Seth pleaded with his sister "you know you are miserable. I don't mean to be rude but, well you look like shit and so does he."

"THANK YOU MR. BRIGHTSIDE! Remind me to call you when I'm down so you can kick me then too!" Leah scolded; she knew she was acting like a kid. She knew that she had literally ran away from the best thing that had ever happened to her. She was afraid, yes, Leah Clearwater, the only female wolf ever, the one that had ripped oh so many leeches apart and the only one that could fight Paul word for nasty word, was scared.

What was she afraid of you might ask? Well that's a question even she was making herself.

Leah never knew how to react to Jake. She never knew why she always felt confused when they were kids and he was around. She'd always go to his house and play with the twins, she'd be having fun and suddenly Jake would walk in, he didn't really do much, just sit there with his own toys and sometimes he'd be with Quil and Embry, but it wasn't like he was trying to annoy them. Of course his sisters got annoyed by simply looking at him and Leah didn't understand why, she had her own brother but he was much younger and was never around them, so she wasn't bothered by him. Rebecca and Rachel would always move to another room just to be away from their "yucky little brother" but Leah always wanted to stay and be close to him, she never knew why.

She never knew when it was that she started feeling like she couldn't be around the boys anymore, Seth had become friends with them and they were around her house all the time. She was so annoyed! Boy was she in for a surprise in the future when she'd phased, being around all those guys would drive her insane.

She was always trying to get Seth in trouble so he'd get grounded and their mom wouldn't let the boys come over anymore. It was always counterproductive, especially with "Dumb Jakey" doing cute things for both Leah and Sue all the time.

When Leah started dating Sam she was head over heels for him. Sam had been her dream guy ever since sophomore year when she started noticing how handsome he was, and how well he carried himself. Yet, she never knew why she felt a hint of jealousy when she saw Jake talking to Isabella Swan on her birthday party, she was dancing with Sam and she was very happy, but that simple act bit her insides. Up until know Jake flirted a lot with random girls but had never shown any real interest in any of them, seeing him actually go out of his way for this pale face girl caught Leah by surprise. She was in love with Sam; there was no doubt about it, so it was weird for her to prefer being called "Lee-Lah" by Jake instead of "Lee-Lee" by Sam.

When Sam dumped Leah she was broken, her whole world was turned upside down. Everything she thought was real, everything she held dear to her heart had turned to smoke and the wind had carried it away. She lost Sam, her love. She lost Emily her cousin, her best friend, her confidant. She lost both of the closest people she had and she lost her self confidence. Like any normal 18 year old Leah began doubting herself, she started blaming it on her looks and her personality.

Did Sam choose Emily because she was prettier? Leah was a bit taller than Emily, so maybe Sam preferred hugging her because she fit perfectly under his chin, and Leah on the other hand always hit Sam's nose with her forehead. Sam loved eating baked goods and those where Emily's favorite things to cook; Leah always made dinner and Emily always made dessert. Leah was fun but Emily was more "homey"; where Leah liked to go outside and explore the forest, Emily liked staying home and take care of the others. Sam was always taking care of others too; he was responsible, hardworking and loved staying home relaxing. Maybe Leah was "dating" material, while Emily was "marriage" material. Thought's like this tortured her all the time. She cried herself to sleep thinking that maybe Emily was just Sam's perfect fit, but, why?

Those thoughts destroyed Leah's self esteem, so she never knew why on earth Jacob Black would take the time and the money to buy her a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses. She'd never even known that Jake knew yellow was her favorite color. But there she was thinking to herself "What is he doing here? Those roses better be for Seth because I'm sure done with guys telling me I'm "all that" just to realize I'm not worth it. Oh God, please tell me those two have a thing for each other because I am about to kick Jacobs ass for giving them to me."

Out of nowhere Leah found herself wrapped around Jake's arms, crying silently. Why did she feel so comfortable with him all of a sudden? What was this warm feeling inside her? She'd been feeling miserable for four months now and suddenly she felt, safe?

"Everything will be alright, you'll see. Lee-Lah, I promise you it will be worth it, in the future you will be happy". Jacob tried his best to make her see how great a girl she was, he kept saying she was beautiful and had the best personality he had seen in any girl. But when he started talking about the future something clicked inside Leah and she got scared. How could he be so sure about the future? She thought. What is he saying? No, no, NO! I want to be happy right now! I want to stop feeling miserable RIGHT NOW!

Did that mean Leah wanted to be with Sam again? Or did it mean she could see a future with Jake but didn't want to wait? Did she want to be with him right now? WHAT!, that had never crossed her mind, had it?

She got scared, started yelling and kicked him out. But she felt bad the second he opened the door, why did she feel the need to let him know she appreciated the flowers? She just didn't understand. She never knew why.

She never knew, or perhaps she was never aware of the fact that Jake had always been around, he'd always been there for her, and he'd always been in her heart.

-/-

Jacob Black and Leah Clearwater had been best friends for two year when Jake couldn't resist his feelings anymore and decided to ask her to be his girlfriend. She'd been waiting for that moment for a while now but knew that every time Jake did something nice she would react in a crazy way. This time she didn't , she threw herself at him and pressed their lips together. Leaving him breathless.

"Was that a yes?" Jacob asked smirking.

"No dumbass. That was a kiss. Had you never kissed before?" She responded in all her Leah glory.

"Very funny Lee-Lah. I can already tell this will sure be a fun ride."

She stuck her tongue out and Jake pulled her back for another kiss. This time taking her breath away.

Six months later, they found themselves in their forest clearing, holding each other, intoxicated by their love when, out of the blue, Jacob told her he was in love with her. She felt like she was being thrown off a cliff, falling into cold water.

Not since Sam, had those words been directed at her. Not since Sam had emptied their meaning had she heard those words again. Once again, Leah was scared; she would've preferred to just feel Jacob's love instead of hearing him say it. She was now sure that Jake would eventually leave, because he had taken the feelings inside his heart and now they were "outside of him", floating in the air, just like the smoke from before. The wind always carried spoken words away.

She ran, she ran so fast that her tears where being dried out of her face the moment they fell from her eyes and touched her skin.

So there she was now in her house listening to" Sethy-boy" be an "almighty cheerleader" telling her she looked like shit.

"You know what Seth? Did it ever cross your mind that maybe; just maybe, I wasn't trying to hurt Jake! Did it occur to you that I ran away because I don't want get hurt again? Or is your "bromance" with him blinding you from our sibling loyalty? Way to pick sides!" Leah ran to her room, and like every day since the "event" she shut herself in.

Seth was annoyed, Leah and he shared a very special sister- brother bond, but she was being so obnoxious. He ran to her bedroom and didn't even bother knocking nor opening the door.

"Leah! You're so stupid! First of all you are being completely selfish! And second of all, have you ever thought that in all this years, all this time Jake has NEVER hurt you? All he's ever done is show you how much he cares. Show you how you don't have to be alone, even when you want to. You're either and idiot or you're blind!"

She'd been writing on her journal for half an hour and had come to a decision. When she heard Seth say all those things she became frustrated, pissed off, she threw the book at the door and jumped out her window for a run.

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GabyCaldeMeraz