Not My Enemy
Chapter 2 Thoughts of a Demon Slayer
I don't own Inuyasha
It's been ten years since you left me in this village my lord. I remember how I awaited your return when I was little. Sometimes a moon would pass but many times it was less than that before you would come back again. You always brought me the finest of gifts but the gifts were nothing in comparison to you. It didn't matter whether you brought me a new kimono or a rare flower intertwined in the teeth of a shell comb. Had you have not been the one to bring them they would not have meant anything at all. You were my gift.
I soon realized though, that with each visit you would notice that I had changed in some way. I wasn't always sure if this pleased you but I guessed that you understood that it was because I was a human. Soon after Kaede died I realized that I needed to make a choice for myself. I could choose to live the life of the miko or the demon slayer. I had been presented both options early on, and I guess that you would have expected that I would be something like Kagome. In truth, I had thought so too. But my decision changed. I couldn't rely on you to always be there and…I couldn't trust a demon.
It had only been a few days since Kaede's death. I was still upset and maybe even more so by the fact that you had told me that I should remain in the village, that I would be safer there than at your side. I remember how I begged you to take me with you. You had promised me that I could make that decision when the time came and yet you turned away from me. I called for you, that night, over and over again but you didn't come back. Not long after that, I was attacked by demons again. If it hadn't been for Sango, I would have died. It was then that I understood you and I saw what I wanted to be. Demons had been the cause of my pain and fear too many times.
I remember when I told you my decision. I was still young at the time, so reading your expression wasn't so easy. I cannot say that much has changed, even now, but you had responded so simply that I figured you felt indifferent about it. You didn't discourage it so I kept the reason behind the choice to myself. I hadn't really cared for you to know anyway.
Recently, I noticed that you stopped bringing me gifts. I understand why this is so. Of course I am seventeen, an age fit for marriage, but marriage is not what I wish for nor will it ever be. I wish to walk alone, independent of anyone's help but my own.
Your visits have become shorter and less abundant as I have also noticed. During the few that you do make in your spare time, I can sense that our conversations are forced. You view me as a burden and I have nothing to say to you. I don't care where you've been or where you're going as I once had. It's quite pointless anyway. I've come to realize that your silence only masked your irritation with your obligation.
When you do find it necessary to part your lips, it only reminds me of the many times I asked you questions and you never responded. Most of the time, my words come out harshly, in sarcasm or I simply say nothing at all. Though it's nothing new, your silence has become more irritating over the years. I'd rather you leave than to sit and stare at me.
I remember the most recent visit. I had forgotten that your leaving and returning at night was not unusual. It was near dark when I decided to head for home from a practice. You had approached quickly, only allowing me to spot a blur from the corner of my eye. Naturally, I reacted, and had you not have stopped when you did, I could have killed you. The dagger, at the end of my outstretched arm, was less than a nail's length from your throat. I'll never forget your expression. I had seen it only momentarily but it spoke nothing but surprise. Regaining your mask, I thought that I saw hurt as well but I figured the dusk dark had its way of playing tricks. Withdrawing my weapon, I closed my eyes in relief and apologized as I walked on. When I turned, thinking that you had followed me inside, you were no where to be found.
It's been some time now since that incident that you've visited. It must be the child in me that is a bit concerned for you over this elapsed time, though maybe it is something else. No, I would rather shake my head to that, it's nothing else. Why haven't I told you to leave? You were compelled to take me in by Tenseiga. You owed Tenseiga my well-being for saving your life and foolishly I believed that you cared about me, that you were different from the rest of them. But now I know that all demons are liars and deceivers. I have no place with you and you haven't one with me.
A/N: Rin's thoughts were a little harder to write. I tried to center her thoughts directly to Sesshoumaru which is why it sounds like she's writing to him. Sesshoumaru's thoughts were easier because, though they are directed toward Rin, they are more for his own understanding, not hers. Not only did I fiddle with a few ideas there but having to write past/present seemed to be a challenge in this one as well.
Chapter 3 - Friend to Foe