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Afraid to Let You Go
Chapter 3: Newfound Feelings.
I slowly opened my eyes and all I could see was white. Where am I? I could hear cries beside me. I turned my head and saw my parents at the couch on the corner, burying their heads on their hands and sobbed. I opened my mouth to speak. I want to tell them that I'm alright, that they don't need to worry because I'm alive and breathing.
"Mother," I heard my hoarse voice said. They looked up and saw me, surprise were seen on their faces. They quickly stood up. My mother went towards me and my father ran for the nurses and doctors.
"Tsukino," my mother cried. "I thought I'd lose you. I was so scared."
I raised my hand and tried to reach for her. Tears were flowing down her cheeks as she held my hand. I gave her a sad smile and said, "Don't cry. I'm still here. So, don't cry."
She closed her eyes and muttered, "Don't do that again. Promise me that you'll never do that again."
"Yes, I promise," I nodded. She wiped away her tears and grinned at me. Then the doctors and nurses came rushing. They checked me and asked what I'm feeling. I told them that I'm feeling great. They smiled and took off the oxygen masks and other devices.
"When could I be discharge?" I asked them. I don't like staying at the hospital. It reeks of medicines and aesthetics. And hospital smelled like death.
"You have to stay here for a couple of days for recovery and observation," they said and exited my room. I sighed. My parents approached me.
"Don't be sad. We brought your violin so you could play it if you're bored," my mother said. I nodded. They patted my head and exited the room too.
Afraid to Let You Go
A day had passed again and I smiled. Tomorrow I would be release from the hospital. I'm reading a book when I heard my door slid open. I looked up and saw a girl who had brown hair and eyes. I think I've seen her before.
"Yes, what do you need from me?" I asked her. She smiled and said, "I'm coming to visit."
"Do I know you?" I questioned her. Then I heard familiar voices coming towards my room. "Hey Haruhi, what are you doing standing at the door and not entering?" the twins said, coming out from the right side of the girl. I was shocked and couldn't even speak. They entered the room and trailing behind them was the rest of the host club.
"Do you think she would like strawberry cake?" A little boy asked, riding at the back of the emotionless guy. He just nodded. The eyeglasses guy which I recognized as Kyoya-senpai had a basket of fruits in his hands. The blonde boy was pouting, watching the twins. And the girl between the twins was holding a bouquet of flowers. After I recovered from shock, I pointed at them and asked, "What are you doing here? And who is that girl?"
"I'm Haruhi. Don't you remember?" the girl said. I looked at her and tilted my head, "Haruhi? You mean you're Haruhi-kun?" She nodded or is it he?
"Why are you wearing a dress? Are you cosplaying?" I shouted. The others chuckled and stared at me like I'm the stupidest person they've ever met.
"I'm really a girl disguised as a boy," Haruhi replied. The blonde boy wailed and hollered, "Father is really worried. I don't think it's a good idea to tell her your gender."
Haruhi glared at him and said, "I don't think of you as my father. And who is the obnoxious rich bastard who forced me to dress as a boy that I don't really like to begin with?"
The blonde boy cried at the corner and poked the floor while saying, "My daughter hates me."
I sighed, "Alright, I get it. Haruhi is a girl but why are you all here?"
"We came to visit you of course," the twins said. Then the blonde boy went towards me and flipped his hair and said, "I came to protect my daughter against the twin wolves that wanted to devour her. And of course the mother was worried too so he tagged along." The blonde boy pointed at Kyoya-senpai.
"You...You're the mother?" I asked, giggling a little. Kyoya-senpai arranged his eyeglasses and uttered, "Forced to be the mother actually. And I came here not because I'm worried of Haruhi but I wanted to meet your parents."
"Well, they're not here today," I said to him. His face fell and exclaimed, "Such a shame."
"And we don't want to be left behind so we tagged along too," the cute little boy said. I smiled as I watched them. Tears fall down my cheeks and I sobbed. I was very happy that they were here.
"Why are you crying?" the cute little boy asked. I wiped away my tears and replied, "I was just happy that you were here. Thank you everyone."
"Don't cry," the little boy pouted and gave me a box, "I'm giving you a strawberry cake so don't cry."
I nodded and accepted his gift. And the blonde boy put the basket of fruits on my bed side table. Then a warm hand patted my head. I looked up and saw one of the twins, smiling down at me. I blushed and looked away.
"Thank you too Kaoru-kun," I muttered. He looked shock and asked me, "You know that I'm Kaoru?"
I shook my head and answered, "I just have a feeling that you're Kaoru. Like I told you, I can't distinguish both of you apart."
Hikaru coughed and said, "We will just go out for a while and buy some flowers for you."
"But we already have flowers for her already," Haruhi stated. Hikaru smiled and ushered all of them out while saying, "We will buy more flowers for her."
"Wait, I'm coming too," Kaoru shouted but Hikaru stopped him from going out and uttered, "Please accompany her while we go away." Kaoru nodded his head and went back to me.
And just that, we were left alone in the room. Kaoru pulled a chair and sat down beside my bed. He looked at me and asked, "Do you want to eat apples?" I smiled and nodded. He went to get a knife and plate on the table and returned back. He reached for the apples and began peeling them. I could see on the way he peeled the apples that he doesn't know how to do it.
"Ouch," his pointed finger bled a little. I hold his hand and said, "You cut yourself."
I closed my eyes and put his bleeding finger inside my mouth. His hands shook a little and I removed my mouth on her fingers, surprised at what I've done myself. I let go of his hand.
"I'm sorry," I meekly said and reached for the apple. "I'm going to peel and cut them by myself."
He looked down and uttered, "I'm sorry. I'm not used in doing this kind of things."
"It's alright," I smiled at him. I saw him looking at me from the corner of my eyes.
"You're skilled at peeling apples," He commented. I nodded and said, "I'm always confined in the hospital since I was young so it's no wonder that I'm skilled in peeling apples."
He looked at me. "About your illness," He started but I put my finger to his lips to silence him.
"It's alright. I'm strong," I grinned at him. He took my hand that was covering his lips and said, "What about doing a surgery?"
"It's too risky. Now, I just want to live my life to the fullest. Doing things I want while I'm still alive," I replied. His hands played with my fingers, twirling and shaking it.
"B-But," I put a sliced of apple that I just finished peeling to his mouth.
"Just eat," I smiled to him. Then he felt silent, eating the apple. I stared at him and he was glancing down, a sad look on his face. I unconsciously touched his face with my hand.
"Look at me Kaoru-kun," I muttered. He glanced up.
"Don't be sad," I told him. He gave me a depressing smile and said, "It's just so sad. You're still young."
"Don't pity me Kaoru-kun. You know that I don't need that," I pulled my hand away from his face. His eyes widened and he stood up.
"It's not pity! It's...you...towards you...I...," he was lost of words. He slumped down beside my bed, clutching the bed sheets.
"I don't know this feeling. But whenever I see you I become so afraid. I'm scared of not seeing you again. That every minute, every second might be the last...that I would not be able to see your beautiful smile and expressive eyes ever again...I'm just so frustrated that I couldn't do anything for you," I could feel tears falling down in the bed sheets. I hold his trembling hand.
"You've given me so much already," I said. "I won't ask for more. Thank you Kaoru-kun."
He looked up at me and I wiped away his tears. I grinned and stood up from the bed. I reached for my violin and said, "I'm going to play for you."
I closed my eyes and I played Tan Dun's violin concerto, "The Love." After a few minutes, I stopped and asked, "How was it?" I opened my eyes and I could not see Kaoru-kun anywhere.
"Kaoru-kun," I muttered. And I felt warm arms hugged me from behind.
"You played great," He said. And my eyes blurred as tears filled them, falling down my cheeks. I closed my eyes and enjoyed his hug. Oh, why? Why am I feeling this way towards him? Why did I fall in love with him? And I know that we would never have a happily ever after. And now, I'm scared of dying, scared of leaving him when I love him this much now. Kaoru-kun, why did you let me fall in love with you? I hold his hands and smelled his relaxing scent. I love you, Kaoru-kun.
Afraid to Let You Go
anime16: I nearly cried while writing this one. Please review. And thanks for reading this story.