Chapter 8 Divided Decisions

I don't own Inuyasha

Hearing a familiar groan, Rin opened her eyes.

"A-Un?…I'm ok, I think." She wanted to reassure the two-headed dragon but she wasn't sure that was the case.

Looking around, she didn't immediately recognize where she was until she spotted Sesshoumaru standing at the overlook that they had spoken at some time ago. She watched him for a while, unmoving against the passing clouds. There was so much guilt that weighed against her but she needed to know one last thing before she could accept that it had all been her fault.

She allowed a whimper to escape as she pulled herself up using A-Un's saddle and leaned against them realizing how weak she was. Taking a step she felt her legs wanting to give but she summoned the strength to keep herself upright with Un's help. Smiling in thanks, she patted his head.

She took a silent breath, wanting to stop in her tracks as Sesshoumaru glanced her but said nothing. She could hear A-Un groan again in the background, almost seeming to encourage her to go forward. Swallowing, she gripped her sleeves as she joined him.

"…"

"…When you brought me back to life with Tenseiga, was it because it had saved your life? Was my care…what you owed Tenseiga?"

He could feel her hesitation but it was he who was still hesitating to answer. Her questions hadn't been anything less than surprising. They were valid and yet he had never thought of it that way. He had been compelled by Tenseiga to save her but he had already wanted to do so. He cared for her a great deal more than any debt would have allowed.

"No. Neither is true."

"So it was all my fault. Everything I said…that I did, I'm sorry and I understand if you won't accept my apology. I can't even forgive myself."

"The blame does not lie with you alone. I accept your apology and you have mine as well."

"Thank you but you have no reason to apologize to me."

"You deserved a better explanation for my leaving you in the village. I should have told you why."

Rin shook her head as she tucked a few loose strands of her hair behind her ear, knowing that it all had all been a misunderstanding.

Silence began to drift but this time, the silence wasn't annoying or filled with anger and tension. It was simply a bridge that neither of them were sure how to cross.

Rin allowed her confidence to rise and allowed her gaze to fall upon his face. Without his looking directly at her, she felt confident enough to allow it to settle. It was the first time, in a while, that she had seen him past the anger and sadness in her heart. He was there again. The feelings that she had pushed away, tugged at her heart once again and she wasn't sure what to say.

"What will you do now?" He felt that the question was awkward at the moment but necessary if at least to break the silence. The reason she had become a demon slayer had been based on her will to protect herself, but driven by her anger with him.

"Head home I suppose. I'm still a demon slayer, and nothing can change that."

"I wouldn't allow you to make your decision to come with me then; you shouldn't have allowed yourself to make the decision to stay."

"What are you saying?"

"Neither decision was ready to be made. I promised you a chance to make a fair decision. You have that chance now."

He waited for her to take in his words. There was a lot to be considered over the past ten years. Exchanged words and hurt feelings and the lack of conversation and interest in each other's lives had slowly and painfully pulled them away from each other. They had even ended up as enemies when they never should have been in the first place. So where did that leave them now?

She lowered her eyes from his, finding her decision now, harder than she thought. Was it truly what she wanted?

"My lord, I can't. Things between us have changed. It just wouldn't be the same."

Those words weren't what he wanted to hear but he had to accept them. She had made her decision, free of any constraint. He allowed a brief nod to refrain from showing disappointment. There were no words that he could use to say that he agreed with her decision. To say that he 'understood' would have been a lie. Maybe he wanted to be blind to what had happened in the last ten years. It was almost as if it didn't matter anyway. He loved her and he always would.

Rin bent down to the grass beside her to pick two flowers, one blue and one gold.

"You always said that flowers were safest with me but I know that you're just as capable of protecting them as I am. I can't say good-bye unless I know that this flower is safe with you. If I ever send word asking to make sure that it's ok you'll have come back and prove that it is and I have to do the same."

He took the gold flower as she held it out to him. "You would put so much faith in this flower thriving under my care?"

She smiled as she blinked back tears and nodded, "I know that even though that flower refuses to grow anymore, you'll still care about her. You'll still protect her and you'll still love her, even though she doesn't know how to return it."

He inwardly reveled in the smile that he hadn't seen in so many years. Her words revealed that she already knew what he couldn't bring himself to tell her. But what she was implying of herself was hardly true.

"Then I should thank you for that."

She blinked somewhat shocked as he walked by her. It had happened so quickly that it left her speechless as her fingers lingered against her lips, yearning for his contact again.

"Wait!"

"I wasn't leaving without you."

A/N: I really wanted to make sure I did this ending justice and I hope I did that. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this story and I appreciate everyone for leaving reviews and favoriting. Thank you :-)