"You people have gone mad." Ed pulled his eyebrows down tight and scrunched his nose in a little scowl.
"Just fix the damn zipper, kid. I don't want to see anyone's junk out here."
Ling attempted to appeal to Ed's sense of brotherhood. "Ed, please? Greed is getting mad about his pants being ripped, and I don't want him taking over before we eat. It doesn't taste as good when he eats it."
"You do realize that in order for me to alchemize the zipper, I need to actually put my hands on it?"
In the moment Ling hesitated to answer, Greed took over. "Haha, you're such a funny, little shit, Prince. Now sit back and let me handle this."
Greed said aloud, "Just do it quick." Then he crossed his arms and looked away from everyone. "And no lingering touches or anything, either."
Ed made a spitting noise. "And why would I want to do that? The only reason I'm even considering this is because I don't want to see that shit flopping around out here. We just left town - it'll be awhile before we could get new pants-"
Darius interjected, "Just do the alchemy thing already."
"We don't need to see his shit," Heinkle added.
"I believe I ordered my subordinate to fix my pants."
"The breeze is sort of nice," Ling said to Greed. He hadn't meant to rip the stuck zipper, but Ling had to admit this was all working out pretty nicely: Greed was no longer the one laughing.