A/N: Okay, did everyone hate the last chapter, or were the review buttons broken? Love it, hate us, want us to change things, let us know.
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"Good morning McGee!" Ziva called out as she entered their home away from home squad room and set a coffee on his desk. McGee was slightly taken aback, trying to remember when she had gotten so cheerful.
"Morning Ziva. You're here early."
"Gibbs called. He wants us to go through Varnaz's business holdings and see if we can pinpoint any suspicious transactions."
McGee sighed. "Great. This guy has his hand in everything from chemicals to film production. That should only take weeks, if we don't stop to eat, sleep or go to the bathroom."
"I can get you a bedpan for your desk, McGee." Gibbs said appearing behind them, seemingly out of nowhere. How did he always do that?
"I wasn't complaining boss. Just mentioning."
"Save the mentioning until you've finished it, Tim." Gibbs said. "Got a conference with the director over satellite. I'll be back." He left quickly, coffee in hand, leaving Ziva and McGee alone in the squad room. The FBI team was in the field, preparing for their trap setting stint that night, and Tony was doing something in keeping with his cover.
McGee paused. Tony and Ziva had been acting stranger than usual, even for them, and there was a lingering question that had been on McGee's mind since yesterday. "Why didn't you threaten to kill Tony for that thing with Agent Sacks yesterday?" McGee asked her. Ziva lifted her head from her phone, abandoning the text message she had been typing.
"What thing?" she asked blankly.
McGee looked at her like she was crazy. "The thing where Sacks looked you up and down like Tony does. With the leering and the bedroom eyes, and you let Tony…" he paused, searching for the words, "Defend your honor." He studied her reaction carefully and caught the hint of a suppressed smile.
"Did I?" she asked lightly. McGee sighed and stood up to switch on the plasma.
"A year ago, you would have killed him for that." He pointed out. This time, despite all of her spy skills and her ninja stealth, Ziva couldn't hide her smile.
"Things change."
Several hours later Ziva pushed her chair away from her computer screen, stretched and rubbed her eyes. She and McGee had been sifting through Varnaz's financial records for what felt like an eternity and she was getting restless. Of course if she was honest with herself, the thing she was eager to take action on was not the case, but the state of her relationship with Tony.
Couldn't live without you I guess. Those six words he had said to her in Somalia had been swirling around in her head ever since. Cornering him in the bathroom a few weeks ago had been an important step for her, but since then the timing never seemed right to do anything else about it.
Yes, the timing was off. And she was scared shitless. In reality it wasn't that hard to say. But every time she was this close to squeezing her eyes shut and blurting out I can't live without you either, and I don't want to try, so stick with me for the next 40 or 50 years, she talked herself out of it.
Okay, so it wasn't timing. Until now, even with Michael, she had never had a relationship she was totally invested in. She always had the upper hand, always controlled the dynamic, and where it was going. Moving forward with Tony would mean entering her first relationship where she could end up getting her heart broken.
Tony wouldn't do that, her new brave side, the side that had the courage to have feelings, told her. Her old brave side, that defined courage as having the balls to risk her life pulling triggers all day, was the proverbial devil on her shoulder, with her new definition of bravery as the opposing angel.
The angel side was right. Tony was crazy about her. She knew that. She saw the way he looked at her. But she didn't want to squeeze her eyes shut and blurt it out. She wanted to wait until she could look him in the eye and tell him how she felt. She shook her head to shut up the different Zivas on her shoulders and stood up, somehow feeling better about things.
In fact, she felt good enough to let a huge grin spread across her face when Tony strolled in, flanked by Fornell and Sacks. Sacks eyed her strangely. "Didn't think you'd be so happy to see me." He said dryly.
"Oh I'm not." Ziva said throwing a wink at Tony in case there was any question over who she was happy to see. He was thinking of a way to flirt back with Ziva and insult Sacks at the same time when Gibbs came charging into the room. McGee was on the phone so Gibbs, who Tony privately thought looked like an angry bull, turned his attention to Ziva.
"How's it going with the financial records Ziva?" He asked. "You get lucky?" Ziva knew she'd get her head slapped for this, but she couldn't resist. She smirked and looked Tony up and down before replying.
"Not yet." Tony chuckled and turned to Sacks with an extremely self satisfied smile on his face. Sure enough, Gibbs reached out and delivered a well-placed smack on the back of Ziva's head.
"I saw that coming." She whispered to Tony.
"And yet you went for it anyway." Tony said with a hint of pride evident in his tone.
"It is the outfit." Ziva replied easily, gesturing to her too short for a typical day at the Navy Yard wrap dress and heels. Tony looked at her back in an overtly obvious way, his focus settling on her ass and staying there.
"God bless Israel." He murmured.
"God bless Israel? You know it is full of Jews, don't you Tony?" Ziva teased.
Tony dragged his gaze away from her butt and smacked a hand to his forehead, making an exaggerated shocked face. "You're Jewish?" he joked.
From his desk, McGee sighed. Tony and Ziva were doing that thing that where they seemed to forget they were in a room full of people and started having a private conversation that was totally inappropriate for their audience, and Gibbs looked like he was one more quip away from strangling them both.
As annoying as they could be, McGee definitely didn't want to have to take over their assignment tonight and go on a date with Agent Sacks, so he chose to intervene before Gibbs killed his coworkers.
"Boss? Abby needs to talk to us," McGee piped up, faltering when the murderous glance was turned on him, "She, uh, says it's urgent."
"Tell him it could be a matter of life and death!" Abby instructed.
"She says it could be a matter of life and death boss."
Gibbs sighed and jerked his head towards McGee. "Come on. McGee, put her on speaker." Tony and Ziva followed, tailed by Fornell and Sacks, and they all assembled around McGee's desk, in a formation that looked suspiciously like a campfire, Tony noted with a smile.
"We're all here, Abs. We've got you on speaker." McGee said.
"Who's we're all?" she echoed.
"Uh, me, boss, Tony, Ziva, Fornell and Agent Sacks." McGee rattled off.
"Agent Sacks?" Abby hissed, "The creep who tried to put Tony and Ziva away for murder? Who invited him?"
"I did, Miss Scuito." Fornell said dryly, shooting an amused glance at Gibbs. "And we're still on speaker phone."
"What have you got Abs?" Gibbs asked, directing her focus back to the case.
"I screwed up Gibbs. I left a huge hole in Ziva's cover." A beat passed and no one spoke, so Abby charged ahead. "I designed it like I designed Tony's, like we always design covers, and then I didn't think of it again, but this is different than the usual cover." She paused again. "Was that confusing?"
"You were working off the cover ID from her Mossad op," Gibbs said, smiling, "We got it."
"Oh, good. Cause it was getting a little confusing to me, and when I'm confusing myself, it's safe to assume that other people might be confused, and,"
"Abs." Tony said, stepping in before Gibbs lost it. Killing him and Ziva was one thing, but he'd really regret killing Abby. "What's missing from the cover?"
"About nine years," Abby confirmed, "Not to mention why she suddenly resurfaced in Colombia."
"Well, yea, Abs, I'd say that's a pretty big hole." Gibbs confirmed.
From her position next to Tony, Ziva tapped her index finger again her lips. "I cannot believe that did not occur to me." She muttered absently. They stood in silence until Gibbs cleared his throat, clearly waiting for Abby.
"Well," she began slowly, drawing out the word, "You see, um, I happened to…." She trailed off.
"Spit it out Abby." Gibbs said in his Abby warning tone, which was much less severe than his warning tone for everyone else, except maybe Ducky who usually got the soft touch too.
"Well I panicked, cause, oh my God, you know if someone were to check and discover anomalies or discrepancies, it could get hinky."
"Right…." Gibbs replied, encouraging her to continue. Sacks looked at Fornell and mouthed 'hinky'with a confused expression. Fornell shook his head, which Sacks seemed to take as instructions not to ask.
"The good news is I filled in the missing time and information. With a job. The first one I thought of that fit with the cover and the set up tonight."
"Abs, now is not the time to make me say please." Gibbs threatened.
"Right, did I mention I thought of this when I was panicking, and it's a good thing because it doesn't mess up the scenario you staged for tonight?"
"Abby!"
"Okay," Abby said, "Ziva, please don't kill me. I made you a secterpreter for the DOD." She spit out very fast.
Ziva blinked and looked at Tony, holding up a finger. "Okay, I know there is no such word as secterpreter." She said definitively. "Right?"
"You're right," Abby piped up again, "I made it up to describe the job I gave Lina. About seven years again, the Defense Department hired what they called administrative associates for employees who needed secretaries and translators. They made it sound impressive, but it's basically a bilingual secretary. Hence, secterpreter." Abby stated conclusively, as if it made perfect sense.
"Is that like Brangelina?" Ziva whispered to Tony.
He leaned down to her ear, close enough that his face was touching her hair. "Essentially, yes, but celebrity couples are on a whole different level."
"Ah," Ziva replied, nodding. "Abby, why would I kill you for that? It is reassuring that you assume my intelligence level is above that of a, uh, secterpreter," she said questioningly, trying out the word, "But it is just a cover."
"Well there's more." Abby admitted. "I still needed something that put you in Cartagena without raising suspicion."
Tony placed his hands together as if he were praying and raised them over his head. "Dear God, please let this be going where I think its going." He said. Gibbs shot Fornell a look and Tobias delivered a head slap with a little chuckle.
Ziva looked around their huddle, confused. "I do not understand."
Abby sighed. "You're going to make me spell it out, huh? I guess I deserve that. I made you a DOD administrative associate, formerly at the Pentagon and now relocated to Cartagena, and specifically assigned to Tony."
"Ay, dios mio." Ziva muttered in Spanish. She tried to look indignant, but the corners of her mouth were turning up at both ends. She snuck a glance at Tony and couldn't help but snicker. She had never seen a child on Christmas morning, but they would look just like Tony did now.
"And, since I helped you pack your Lina wardrobe," Abby continued, "I know that nothing you have would be appropriate for your new salaried job as a government bureaucrat, and it has to look real. So Jimmy, his girlfriend, Ducky and I shipped you some work clothes. You should have them tomorrow."
"Can't wait." Ziva said dryly.
Tony edged toward McGee's desk and leaned down to the receiver. "Thank you!" he hissed into the phone. Tony dodged yet another blow to the back of the head, and Gibbs and Fornell started bellowing instructions. McGee waited until the room cleared, then snatched up the receiver.
"What are you up to?" he asked suspiciously.
"What do you mean Timmy?" Abby asked in a syrupy voice that McGee could hear her grin through. He knew she was up to something. He always could read Abby.
"You would never miss a nine year lapse in a cover." McGee said matter of factly. It was true; Abby was meticulous.
"Of course not, McGee. But do you think Ziva would have ever gone with that if she was standing in my lab while I fulfilled what I'm sure are a fair share of DiNozzo fantasies, and made her Tony's secretary?" McGee furrowed his brow, trying to decide which question to ask first.
"How did you know she wouldn't notice nine years missing from her own alias?"
"Please," Abby said. "She's too busy noticing Tony noticing her to notice anything else."
McGee slapped his hand on his desk. "I knew it!" he exclaimed. "They've been acting….well, how they've been acting for awhile. It's just so obvious when we're away from our routine."
"Once again my superior powers of observation have put me ahead of the curve." Abby responded triumphantly. "It's been obvious, since like, day one. I'm just trying to help them along, McGee. For all of our sakes. The sooner they start having sex, the sooner we can stop watching them rile each other up all day."
"Bless you, Abby Sciuto."
"This is like a freakin' movie." Tony muttered to himself as he strolled down the street to the bar where he was supposed to meet Ziva. No, Lina. The weather seemed to be a perfect reflection of his mood; it was hot and breezy, and storm clouds blanketed the dark sky. The anticipation that crackled in the air seeped into his bones and sent shivers down his spine.
Tony began to wonder what he should try and get out of this date. Of course they were going as Aaron and Lina, not Tony and Ziva, but still. He frowned as he struggled to figure out how to play this. For the first time in his life, he wanted the serious, relationship stuff to move faster. He wanted to be able to touch her and kiss her whenever he wanted and not give a damn who saw them.
He probably should have been freaking out and having panic attacks caused by these sentiments. Anyone who knew him a few years ago would expect that, but surprisingly, Tony had sort of stumbled into this calm place where he knew what he wanted, and he wasn't scared of the idea that this thing with Ziva could be forever.
For once, it wasn't the commitment that was the problem, it was getting there. Tony wasn't stupid, especially when it came to decoding Ziva. He saw this was difficult for her, and he got it, he really did. She was way more comfortable being superwoman than human. So he'd wait until she initiated it, Tony decided. Maybe not for everything; hell if he had the balls, and was sure she wouldn't kill him for it, maybe he'd kiss her tonight. But the inevitable epic confessions that was looming, he'd leave up to Ziva.
He slowed down as he approached the plaza near the park where he was supposed to meet her. He scanned the people milling around and didn't see her. Thinking he'd plop his ass on a bench and think about her the way her ass looked today, he took two steps forward before he felt a tap on his shoulder.
"There's something about this tropical climate that really draws out your inner ninja, Lina." He said as he turned around. His eyes fell on her and his jaw literally dropped, a motion that went unnoticed. Tony's brain was suddenly locked in an epic struggle between taking mental pictures of Ziva and fighting his body's natural reaction to the sight of her, which was threatening to draw out a certain part of his anatomy.
When he had calmed down enough that the threat of an embarrassing teenage moment had passed, he stepped back and drank in the sight of her. She was wearing the perfect black dress and heels that made her legs look endless. She was all perfect limbs, bare shoulders and cleavage; enough to turn him from very special agent to helplessly whipped lapdog if she wanted to.
She cleared her throat and he forced himself to look at eyes, and saw she was looking at him with the same dirty eyes he had trained on her. He grinned. "I look good, don't I?" he quipped. She took a step forward and stepped right into him like she always did. Tonight though, it almost sent him over the edge.
"Oh you look good." She confirmed in a soft, sultry voice. Jesus, DiNozzo, Tony thought. Get a hold of yourself. He couldn't let her win all the time, after all. He smirked and slid his hands onto her hips, grinning at the way she instinctively pressed against him. He moved an arm around her waist, letting his hand rest on her ass.
"Ready Lina?"
She laughed in response. "You have no idea."