OMG IT'S AN UPDATE *DED* This is not the bestest thing I have ever written, but it got a chuckle out of le sister, so I figured it was worth posting. ^^
Optimus Prime did a double take.
He stepped back a few paces, until he could see through the doorway of the rec. room again, and his optics drew down in his version of a puzzled frown.
"Sideswipe, what are you doing?"
The red mech looked up. "Hm? Oh, I'm playing a game, sir," and he gestured calmly toward the TV screen with his controller. The…thing…on his head slipped a little, and he pushed it back casually.
"…ah. Yes, I see." He struggled with his bemusement for a few kliks, then decided he didn't need to know, after all. "Very well. Carry on." He arched an optic ridge when Sideswipe just shrugged with a cheeky grin and went back to his game. Optimus turned and moved on, shaking his head ruefully.
"Did you see that whatever-it-was Sideswipe's got on his head?"
Optimus turned to look; the voice belonged to Gears. Huffer, standing beside the other mech where he sat at the security console, shook his head.
"No, but I've no doubt it means he's up to no good. Again," was the dour reply, and Gears clucked and shook his head disapprovingly.
The Prime blinked, a quick resetting of his optics that none of the other mechs in the command center saw. Gears and Huffer were absorbed in their gossip, and didn't even notice his attention. Just in case, however, he returned his optics to his own task.
"Someone ought to take it from him," Huffer continued, still in that same sour tone. "Make him start acting like a mech, and not a sparkling. We're at war, here. We shouldn't be playing games!"
Privately, Optimus disagreed, feeling that a little light-sparked foolishness from time to time kept morale up, but he did not point this out to them, not quite willing to give up his eavesdropping just yet.
The next was said very softly, though not so softly that he couldn't hear it, and he huffed a soft sigh when it reached his audios. "I wonder why Prime doesn't say something to him about it. You'd think he'd realize that he can't mean anything innocent by something like that," Gears murmured.
"Prime has not done anything because so far he hasn't caused any disruption that I'm aware of, nor has he harmed anyone with it," he broke in, and all optics turned to him immediately; Gears and Huffer, in particular, bore guilty expressions.
"Ah—" Gears stammered, wordless for a few moments, then, finally, muttering, "…yessir." Both mechs studiously turned their attention back to the monitors they were supposed to be watching.
Optimus sighed again wearily, then put it out of his mind as inconsequential.
Out of the corner of his optic, just after firing off a wild shot at Skywarp, Optimus caught a flash of silver. Distracted, he turned his head—and there was Sideswipe, the bowl-shaped…whatever it was strapped securely onto his head as the red mech ignited his jetpack and took off with a joyful whoop.
Skywarp was clearly taken aback by his appearance, because he paused to gawk long enough that the red warrior managed to catch him before he could teleport away. "What the slag are you on, stupid Autobot?" the black Seeker screeched, twisting and bucking to try and dislodge the smaller mech. Sideswipe merely grinned and hung on for dear life, every now and then sparing a hand from his clinging to rip at the black-and-purple wings gleefully.
Later, making rounds through the medbay after the battle, Optimus came across Sideswipe again, just coming to his turn with Ratchet. The silver thing was still on his head, though tattered and misshapen, now.
"What the slagging slag is this?" Ratchet demanded, reaching to take the thing away. "Are your logic circuits damaged or something?" Sideswipe twisted his head and evaded him, making it nearly impossible for the medic to get a good grip on it to rip it off.
"No, Ratchet, you can't take it! I need it!" the red mech howled, causing every mech in the medbay to turn to look at him.
"What is your fragging glitch, Sideswipe?" Ratchet growled, apparently growing frustrated and giving up—at least, for the moment.
Sideswipe's reply was dead serious—but, something in the red mech's optics, some glint shining there, made Optimus think he was laughing himself sick, inside.
"It's tinfoil. It's the only thing that can block the space mind control lasers," he said solemnly.
Ratchet hit him.
68. I may not line my helmet with tin foil to "Block out the space mind control lasers".