Episode 4 (It Hurts)

Danny and Lindsay were in the waiting room of the therapist's office; neither said much to each other. Lindsay new today was the day she was going to tell Danny everything and was clearly nervous and he picked up on it.

"What's going on Montana?" Danny asked as she fidgeted with her nails

"Nothing" Lindsay shrugged

"Come on" Danny said to her "Give me a little more credit then that, we were married for two years, dated for over a year before that I know you"

"I'm just a little nervous" Lindsay admitted

"There's nothing you should be afraid of" Danny told her "I'm not going to judge you"

"Yet" Lindsay mumbled as Danny was going to respond Dr. Peterson walked into the waiting area

"Detective Monroe, Detective Messer please come in" Dr. Peterson said holding the door open for them "It's nice to meet you Detective Messer" he said shaking his hand

"You too" Danny said as he and Lindsay took a seat next to each other on the couch and Dr. Peterson took a seat across from them in his usual chair

"Lindsay" Dr. Peterson said getting her attention "You alright?" he asked as Danny glanced at her too

"Yea I'm fine" Lindsay said forcing a smile

"Let's get started shall we" Dr. Peterson started "Detective Messer Lindsay and I asked you here today because we believe it could be beneficial for Lindsay's full recovery from the incident"

"That's why I'm here" Danny said "Whatever helps"

"Alright so what we're going to do Danny is get your take from that day, take us through what happened" Dr. Peterson started

"Um, it was an average day at work" Danny started "I just started walking again without my cane but I still wasn't doing much field work. Lindsay got called out to a scene with Flack and Mac and then an hour later I got a phone call Lindsay was missing" he said casually, trying to keep his emotions bottled up

"What where your thoughts on that?" Dr. Peterson asked

"I was scared obviously because the man that they believed abducted her had killed three women. I went to the scene she was at, I tried to help but they wouldn't let you" Danny told him

"How did you feel about not being able to help?" he asked Danny

"Useless" he answered quickly "Lindsay was my wife and they wouldn't let me help I felt like I failed her" he said and Lindsay put her head down "It was over 24 hours before we even got a lead on where she was. I didn't know what happened to her, if she was hurt, alone, trapped or dead. It was tough" Danny told him and the Doctor nodded "But the team found her and they bought her back home"

"How was Lindsay's condition?" Dr. Peterson asked

"She was beat up real bad" Danny told him "She had a broken wrist, two cracked ribs, a concussion, cuts on her head, bruising on her face, stomach and left arm" he recited as if he was reading something but wasn't

"You remember that in great detail" Dr. Peterson observed

"When something like that happens to someone you love, you don't forget a detail" Danny told him almost coldly

"How do you feel about that man that did that?" Dr. Peterson asked

"He wasn't a man" Danny told him "He was a coward. He attacked a women, hid behind her and when he was about to get caught ran off never to be heard from again"

"Have the police ever caught him?" Dr. Peterson asked and Danny shook his head

"No" Danny said bitterly "The FBI is sure is he fled the country and wont be back"

"Lindsay" Dr. Peterson said turning towards her "Why don't you tell Danny about what you went threw that day"

"I did" Lindsay said "Many times in great detail, I don't want to live through that again"

"I understand" Dr. Peterson said writing something down and Danny's full attention was on Lindsay "Is their anything you want to add to your story?" he asked her and Lindsay briefly looked at Danny

"Yea" She said looking at Danny

"You reported you were beaten so bad you couldn't remember much" Dr. Peterson reminded her

"Yea" Lindsay said nodding "Then the dreams started"

"Tell Danny about the dreams" Dr. Peterson said to her and she turned to Danny he could see her trying to hold back tears

"Danny" Lindsay started "The dreams weren't just dreams they were memories. Of what happened, of what he did" she said then the tears started to fall and Danny watched her carefully as she started to explain "I remember every punch, every slap, every insult I remember thinking I was never going to see you or Lucy every again. I remember wishing he would just kill me so it would all end, so I wouldn't feel the pain anymore. I remember his breath on my neck, his lips on my skin-"

"His what?" Danny asked her slightly alarmed

"Danny he raped me" Lindsay told finally told him and in that moment she could tell Danny was crushed, when she went to the hospital to be checked over she declined a sexual assault kit due to the fact she had all her clothes on and swears she would have remembered something like that. The truth was that she didn't want anyone to know.

Lindsay and Danny sat there in silence for he didn't know how long

"Say something Danny" Lindsay begged as she cried

"Why, uh" Danny started but couldn't get the words out "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to be disappointed in me" Lindsay told him honestly

"Why would you think that? I would have supported you through anything" Danny told her softly. She could tell he was keeping his emotions bottled up and couldn't tell if he was hurt, angry with her or just ashamed. She assumed it was a little bit of all three.

"I'm a cop" Lindsay told him "And I couldn't defend myself"

"You were trapped like an animal" Danny reminded her "You didn't have a weapon, this guy was over 250lbs"

"I'm sorry" Lindsay said and at the moment Danny looked her in the eyes but didn't say anything

"Is this why you left me?" Danny asked her, Lindsay walked out a year ago telling Danny she couldn't live like this that she had changed since the abduction and wanted to be on her own. He wanted nothing more but to be there and support her but she insisted on leaving.

"I couldn't live with the guilt with not telling you" Lindsay told him "You were so great to me and I was lying to you"

"I would have understood" Danny said in a loud whisper now trying to mask his own tears "I would have stuck by you and gave you your time and space, I would have done anything to help you"

"I was already a mess Danny how much were you supposed to take on?" Lindsay asked him

"We were a team" Danny reminded her "When I was in my wheelchair you didn't give up on me and I would not have given up on you, I wouldn't have been disappointed or ashamed"

"I was" Lindsay told him "I was disappointed and ashamed I didn't want to be a victim again Danny, I couldn't do it. And I didn't want to have you or anyone else look at me like I was a lost cause"

"Nobody knew about this?" Danny questioned

"Mac" Lindsay told him which hurt Danny badly "I went to get tested for anything and everything, Mac questioned me about it I had to tell him"

"And that's why he pushed therapy on you so much" Danny said piecing it together "Anyone else?" he asked, he wanted a list of people who kept this a secret from him "Lindsay" Danny stated "Who else knows?"

"Jake Spencer" Lindsay told him and Danny's eyes widened, Jake Spencer wasn't even around when Lindsay's was abducted and they only worked together on a few cases "We've been seeing each other for the last few months" she said completely catching Danny off guard, he took one last look at Lindsay and stood up and then walked out of the office

"Should I go after him?" Lindsay asked Dr. Peterson and he shook his head no

"Let him cool off" Dr. Peterson instructed her "He's feeling a lot of different emotions right now"

"I shouldn't have told him" Lindsay said disappointed thru tears and the doctor handed her a tissue

"I think you did the right thing, the longer this was bottled up the more hurt he would have felt. He would have found out eventually" Dr. Peterson assured her

Police Station

"Hey Flack" Jake Spencer said walking over to him "You catch that game last night?"

"Catch it? I was there" Flack told him proudly

"Good seats?" Jake asked

"Nose bleeds, but worth it" Flack smirked "It was a great game"

"Tell me about it-" Jake started then caught Flack's watchful eye as Danny entered the precinct, he was fuming you didn't have to be a good friend of Danny's to know when he was mad, they watched as Danny scanned the busy station then stopped when he caught sight of Flack and Jake

"What the-" Flack started as Danny stormed over to them and decked Jake right across the face sending him to the floor "What the hell are you doing!" Flack yelled grabbing Danny but shoved Flack back as the station watched Danny kneel over Jake

"You pretend you know nothing about my relationship with Lindsay, you offer to be a friend to me and it turns out you've been dating her for months!" Danny yelled picking Jake up slightly off the floor by grabbing his search "You knew what happened to her and didn't bother to mention it, you took advantage of the situation" he said in a low whisper

"Danny" Flack warned as other officers observed the argument

"You get one hit" Jake said spitting out a little blood from his mouth "I'll give you that but that's it" he said pushing Danny off of him

"You're done" Danny warned pointing at Jake then walked out of the station the same way he entered, angry and volatile

"What the hell was he talking about?" Flack asked Jake helping him up

"I've been seeing Lindsay" Jake told him catching Flack off guard as well, no one would have ever thought it or suspected it

"I thought that's what he said" Flack said giving a glare to Jake then followed Danny out of the station, Danny was on foot so Flack caught up to him about a block away

"Danny!" Flack yelled running after him, but Danny didn't turn around or talk as Flack walked next to him "Would you calm down!" Flack yelled grabbing his arm "What's going on?"

"Didn't you see that little show?" Danny questioned, "Your pal Spencer in there has been seeing my wife!" Danny yelled at him "He didn't have the guts to face me like a man, talk to me about it?"

"Why did you say he took advantage Lindsay?" Flack asked, he was close to the altercation so he heard what Danny whispered

"You know what man it aint my place to say" Danny said frustrated as kicked a garbage can into the street "But that guy in there I don't know him, I don't want to see him, I don't want to work with him"

"That's going to be a little tough on you Dan" Flack told him

"No it's going to be tough on him!" Danny yelled angrily pointing in the direction of the police station

"Lindsay isn't your wife anymore Danny" Flack reminded him and Danny just walked off and left Flack behind then his phone went off

"Flack" he said into the phone "Where are you?" he asked "I'll be right there" he said then hung up and walked in the opposite direction of where Danny went

Danny's Apartment

Danny walked into his apartment and slammed the door

"Someone's not happy" Julia said walking out of the bedroom "You alright baby?" she questioned

"No, no I'm not" Danny said picking up a lamp and throwing it across the room

"You want to talk about it?" Julia asked alarmed

"No" Danny said waking over to her and pulling her into a rough kiss, she pulled away slightly and smiled at him then pulled him back, they stumbled towards the bedroom

Flack's Car

"Thanks for getting me" Lindsay told Flack who was driving

"I told you if you needed anything, I'd be there" Flack said not looking at her

"You saw Danny then huh?" Lindsay asked and he nodded "He's pretty upset"

"Can you blame him you're dating a colleague" Flack said an even tone "He showed up and decked Jake"

"What?" Lindsay asked "Is Jake ok?"

"Yea last I saw" Flack said "It couldn't have been just about Jake though because I've seen jealous Danny before, that wasn't just jealous Danny- that was Danny from another planet"

"I had to tell him something" Lindsay told Flack and he pulled over on a random street

"What happened Linds?" Flack asked after a few minutes Lindsay went into the story about rape very briefly with Flack who was taken back but not surprised because he had had his suspicions about it

"And you told Jake before Danny" Flack said piecing it together

"I didn't mean to" Lindsay defended "It's just when I met Jake he didn't know about my attack, he didn't look at me like everyone else was, with pity and doubt. And over time it was just easy to tell him because I know he wouldn't have taken it personally and I know he wouldn't have told a soul"

"I don't blame you" Flack said to her "Sometimes it's easier to work threw it yourself first I don't blame Danny for being upset either"

"Either do I" Lindsay said "I wish I never told him"

"You had to tell him" Flack said to her "There's no way you could have kept that from him forever, he'll get over the fact you're seeing Jake too"

"You should have seen him storm out of the therapist's office" Lindsay said to him

"No need, I saw him storm into the station about 20 minutes ago" Flack said with a smirk "I wish you would have said something though we would have helped you"

"I know I just- I wasn't ready" Lindsay admitted

"It's alright" Flack said looking at her

"I've never seen him so angry in my life" Lindsay told him "I mean he was shaking when he found out. And the funny thing is I always thought he suspected it"

"He did" Flack admitted "But I think he was so relieved when you kept disputing it that he actually started to believe you. It's always been in the back of his mind, my mind too. I keep thinking if we did it differently-"

"Flack please don't go there and put the blame on yourself" Lindsay said to him

"Messer 2" Flack called out as Lindsay and Mac walked around the house

"Just call me Monroe" Lindsay mumbled with a laugh

"What fun is that?" Flack asked with a smile then they heard a crash inside

"Lindsay stay out here in case he comes out the back" Mac said "Flack and I will go inside", they heard another crash and ran into the what was supposed to be empty house

"NYPD!" Flack yelled as he and Mac had both of their guns drawn "Put your hands up"

"Ok" a guy said obviously scared dropping the pan he was holding

"Who are you?" Mac asked as Flack pushed him on the floor and cuffed the guy

Outside Lindsay was waiting on Mac and Flack when a man walked over to here

"I'm sorry sir this is a crime scene" Lindsay said holding up her hand to stop him

"I know" The man said and quickly bent Lindsay's wrist that was extended and it snapped in that moment, but she didn't feel the pain for long because then came a teaser which knocked her out, he grabbed her gun and carried into his van

"Messer 2" Flack said walking out of the house looking for her "Fine, Monroe!" he yelled out but she didn't respond he was coming out to tell her it was clear that the guy inside wasn't their killer then found her phone on the ground and saw skid marks in the street

"It happened" Lindsay said with a shrug "I try never to think back to that place. You know ever since it happened Danny has never said that man's name- ever" Lindsay told him

"I know" Flack said "He never talked about it much either, he kept a lot in too, you both had that in common" Flack reasoned and Lindsay smirked

"I wonder what he's doing" Lindsay said to him

"Who, Danny?" Flack asked

"No Calvin Troy" Lindsay told him "I wonder if he's hurting another women somewhere else, I wonder how many more women are going threw what I am or are dead at his hands"

"I wonder to sometimes" Flack said "Guys like that though they don't make it far"

"He made it all the way to Mexico" Lindsay pointed out then her phone rang

"Monroe?" Lindsay asked answering "Hello?" she asked slightly annoyed then hung up

"Pranks" Lindsay spat

"What do they say?" Flack asked

"Nothing, it's probably a fax or something" Lindsay said as Flack put the car back in drive "I just want to get home to Lucy"

"You're a lucky women, Lucy is a great kid" Flack said to her "Can make you smile no matter what"

"Yea she's alright" Lindsay teased "I think I'll keep her" as she got out of the car they saw Jake Spencer in front of her building

"You'll be alright?" Flack asked nodding towards Jake and Lindsay smiled at him

"I'll be fine" Lindsay assured him

"Alright stay tough kiddo, I'll talk to you tomorrow" Flack said as she got out

"Thanks" Lindsay said and he nodded and drove off, she walked over to Jake and put her hand on his bruised face "I'm so sorry"

"Did you hit me?" Jake asked with a smile "I don't blame the guy, I would have done the same- maybe worse"

"Come on I'll give you some ice" she said taking hand and leading him into the apartment building

Danny's Apartment

Danny was looking out his window with just a pair of sweat pants on when he felt arms wrap behind him

"You alright baby?" Julia asked resting her head on his shoulder

"I'm calmer" Danny said to her, still facing the outside window

"You want to talk about it yet?" Julia asked concerned

"No" Danny said coolly "Not ever"

"Alright" Julia said still resting on his shoulder starring out the window with him

A/N: Thanks so much for the great reviews guys, I'm glad you all are enjoying it. And don't worry this is a D/L, it will turn around at some point in time in the story, just hang in there. Thanks again :)