Still needed and wanted
Sitting on the edge of the well, looking into it, I wondered what I should do. I've been sitting here for hours, wondering the same thing over and over again. Every time I don't know what I should do.
Leaning back some, I feel my back pop some from the strain of sitting so long. The cold wind makes me shiver some and wish I had brought a jacket with me. But if I just lean forward some more, I would be closer to my home; which would have a heater and everything I'm use to.
As soon as I think that I know I'm wrong. I WAS use to that time, now I'm use to the time I'm in right now. The past: where things are simple in some ways, but harder in others. This is the time I have started to call home, where I felt like myself. Back in my old time I feel like an outsider, someone who doesn't belong.
I sigh as I look up at the sky. The sun is starting to set, casting dark purples, pinks and some red colors across the sky. In my time I wouldn't be able to see the sky very good as well I could in this time. And I always loved watching the sun set.
Thinking that reminded of why I was here, sitting on the edge of the well, trying to decide what to do. It was the other day; we were all on our way back when we were attacked by a huge bull demon.
The demon should have been easy to defeat, but he wasn't. Shippo was almost trampled to death, Miroku and Sango were both thrown in air and had a few broken ribs cause of it, both of Kirara's tails were stepped on and broken and Inuyasha got thrown in the air, kicked in the ribs and his right arm was broken; all because of me.
It was right after Shippo almost got killed, I was so worry about him, I forgot about the bull demon and just ran to Shippo. The bull noticed me and started to charge at me, Miroku and Sango got in the way, to try and stop him, that's when they got thrown in the air.
Kirara then tried to save them both from hitting the ground, but the bulls' hooves went down on her tails while she was waiting to catch them. Inuyasha came running to my rescue, like he always does, that's when he got thrown in the air. The bull demon then saw him down and started stepping on him. By then I was to Shippo and saw all that happen. I felt horrible for the being the caused of my friends being hurt.
It didn't end there though; Inuyasha tried to get out from under the bull by rolling on his side, but his right arm got stuck under one of the bulls' hooves and broke. I heard the snap and wondered if he was ok. Inuyasha didn't show that pain he must have been feeling, but he looked my way when I started to cry.
After that, everything happened really fast. Inuyasha, somehow, pushed the bull off of him and, using his not broken arm, raised his sword to kill the bull. When everyone was ok to move, we all rushed to the village.
That all happened yesterday and after I was sure all my friends would make it, I decided to leave. I left the shards I had with a note explaining what I was going to do where I was sleeping. I was surprise that neither Inuyasha nor Shippo had followed me; but then again, they might have and I wouldn't know.
Remembering all that happen made me lean forward and want to jump into the well without coming back. I knew that even if I left my friends would still get hurt, that was the kind of live they had here, but if I left it wouldn't because of me anymore.
Taking a deep breathe I start to push myself off the edge and start to fall. But right before my hands can leave the food, something grabs me. I turn around quickly to see Inuyasha standing behind me with his head down, so I can't see his eyes, and his hand holding on my wrist.
"Inuyasha…" that's all I can say. I didn't think he would come; it had been hours since I left the note. Why had be come now?
"I got your note" he said. I then notice was he shaking all over and knew he must have ran here as fast as he could. On a normal day if wouldn't have bothered him, but after that fight he was still recovering from his wounds.
"You shouldn't have come, you're still hurt" I said. I tried to turn around so I could help him, but his hold on my wrist was tight and I couldn't move my arm.
"But you were leaving us…leaving me" he said. The last part was in a whispered that I wouldn't have heard if I wasn't so close to him.
"Only because its my fault that you and the others are hurt" I said. Hearing me say that had his head snapping up and his golden eyes meeting him. I flinched a little under his angry stare.
"That's bull shit Kagome and you know it" he said in a calm voice. It was never a good sign when Inuyasha was angry, but talking in a calm voice. I knew something was really wrong then.
"No its not; if I had been paying attention then you guys wouldn't have had to protect me and get hurt" I said back to him. I didn't want to, but I was getting angry that he kept on thinking it wasn't my fault. When things really were my fault, he said they weren't; when things weren't my fault, he said they were.
"Its not damn it! You were worried about Shippo so you went to see if he was ok. We knew you were going to do that and tried to cover you. If anyone should be to blame it's me!" the last past hung around the clearing and rang in my ears. I knew Inuyasha blamed himself for a lot of things, but I didn't think he would for what happen in that battle.
"How was it your fault?" I asked him. My voice sounded so much smaller then his.
"I wasn't fast enough to help the others" he said, his head falling down again. I wanted to reach out and lift it back up, but I didn't. "And you were crying" he finish. My heart clenched when I remembered how much seeing my cry upset him.
"Inuyasha it wasn't your fault that you weren't fast enough and that I cried" I said, trying to make him believe what I thought was true. It really wasn't his fault and I wanted him to believe that so much.
"If you say that, then what happened isn't your fault either" he said, lifting his head a little to look at him. I almost smiled at the trap he got me in. If I said it was my fault, he would just go back to saying it was him. We would be in a cycle of trying to blame our self, when the other was saying it was their fault.
I sigh, finally giving up. A small smile came across his face and I couldn't help but smile also. He had out smarted this time and I didn't even know until the end.
"So are you going to stay?" he asked me. I felt his hand move on my wrist and realized he still had a hold of me. Not being able to meet his eyes, I looked down at his hand that was still holding my wrist.
"Am I still welcomed?" I asked. I knew it was a stupid question, but I needed to know that I was.
"Of course, you're always welcomed. Miroku and Sango think of you like a sister, Shippo a mom, me a…." I looked up at him and see he is unsure if he should go on. I start to open my mouth to tell it's ok, he didn't have to tell me what I was to him and that I already new. But he beat me to the punch by the punch by saying "To me you're someone important that I don't ever want to lose."
My mouth hung open after that and I knew he could probably hear my heart about to burst from my chest. After not saying anything for a while, he became embarrassed and looked away.
"If what I said upset you then I take it…" "No!" I yelled before he could finish. His head snapped back towards me and I toke a few minutes to calm down.
"No, what you said it what I needed to hear" I said, smiling at him. A slight blush settled on his check, making me smile more. I always loved making him blush, just as much as I loved watching a sun set.
"We should get back the others are worried that you would be leaving like your note said" he said as he let go of my wrist and started walking away. I followed him without a second thought.
x~x~x~x
Got the idea for this story out of no where. I was just sitting at my computer, just finish putting up the lastest chapter for my story 'A princess, her knights & friends', when this popped into my head and i had to get it out. Well i hoped you enjoyed this one-shot and will review of something. Also this is my first one-shot that i did in Kagome's view only.