A/N This should wrap it up everyone. Thanks so much for all the feedback, and for all of you reading and not reviewing, thanks go out to you as well! Isabel - What a wonderful thing to say, thank you so much! I am glad you have enjoyed the story so far! lolzinthestarz - Thank you! I'd officiate the wedding ceremony but I'm not ordained yet. -=laugh=- I'm glad you liked it as well, and thank you for your comment on the emotions - I worked hard on giving them importance without letting them overshadow the real story. And now, back to it!

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I could hear voices. I knew I should want to go towards them, but I was so damn tired. I felt as though I had not slept in a year. I started to let go, let myself slip back into oblivion but a raised voice cut through the fog.

"...healed you?"

"Yeah Sammy, she healed me. Said she couldn't break the spell, but she could heal the damage that had been done, give you more time."

I tried to move, open my eyes, hell even change my breathing pattern so they would know I was awake, if not entirely alert. Nothing. It was like I was paralyzed, trapped inside my own body. I remembered stories of healers dying because they could not break out of the stupor that engulfed them after giving too much of themselves during a healing.

In one case a telepath had been brought in to try to ease the suffering of the healer. The healer had died screaming inside her own mind. She took the telepath with her. I turned my attention back outside my own thoughts, maybe if I tried harder.

"...any components or anything?" Sam was asking Dean.

"No, no components, she just cast the spell on me and I felt better."

"So she just spoke the words to a spell and that was it?"

I felt Dean's arms curl around and pull me closer, for the first time becoming aware that he was still snugged around my body. Fuck. Dean was cuddling in front of his brother. I did not have to tap into my empathic abilities to know what that meant.

He thought I was dying.

"No, it wasn't really like that. There were no words she just..." he wrapped his arms a little further around and crossed them in front of me in a protective gesture, I realized. "She just waggled her arms or something and I felt better as she did it."

Son of a bitch.

He was afraid his brother would think less of me if he knew what had happened. His body language and tone of voice practically screamed it aloud. Covered by the blankets, Sam would not have seen the embrace. I knew it for what it was, though, and vowed if I lived through it I was going to seriously kick his ass into a higher self-esteem single-handedly if I had to.

"Crap. How long has she been out?" Sam had a tone of urgency in his voice and I knew that he knew. Of course he did. The guy has more knowledge and tidbits tucked away inside that head of his than most people learn in a lifetime. Years of researching and a well-above-average intelligence make for a frightening combination sometimes.

It made me wonder when they had encountered another healer, though. I would have to remember to ask if I found my way out of this.

Dean picked up on the tone, I felt him tense around me. "I dunno Sam, I was a little out of it, what's going on?"

"Shit Dean. If she didn't use any components, there's not many other ways it could have been done. She's out cold," I really wished I could have let them know I wasn't out as cold as they thought, it may have eased their minds, "how's her body temperature? Did she seem shocky at all afterwards? What happened, exactly?"

Dean took a deep breath, let it out slowly. I knew he was gauging what and how much he should tell, his arms still crossed in front of me blocking me from his brother.

"She was kneeling on the bed when she did it. She had told me that - " I felt his body jerk suddenly and he very nearly crushed me as his arms reflexively tensed, squeezing me tight against his chest. I had a spike of panic thinking his pain had come back before he yelled in my ear, "Son of a bitch! She knew Sammy! She knew what was going to happen!" I could hear the anger starting to build in his voice and wondered if he was going to ease his grip up to let me breathe at any point soon.

Goddamn I wished I could say something.

"What do you mean she knew? What happened Dean?"

His grip eased some as he took a couple of steadying breaths, "She knew, she told me she was sorry she couldn't explain everything that was going to happen. She said she was sorry, that she would do whatever she had to do to heal me and buy you more time. I thought she was apologizing for...something else." There was the slightest hitch as he glossed over the truth, but if Sam heard it he didn't let on. "When she finished the spell, she sat there for a second and then her eyes rolled up in the back of her head and she passed out. She's been out ever since. I got up and got the blankets off your bed at some point because she was a friggin' icicle. I've been trying to warm her up ever since."

"Shit. She must have used her own," Sam fumbled for an appropriate word, "energy, I guess. As New-Agey as that sounds, I don't really have a better word for it. She essentially hacked off a piece of whatever it is that keeps her alive and shoved it into you by the sounds. Material components would have allowed her to - "

"What the hell does that mean Sammy?" Dean cut in. Ever the patient one. "Is she dying?"

I didn't hear the answer, I had been struggling to communicate somehow and just had nothing left to give. This time, the void swallowed me up without warning.

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That was the longest I managed to dig my way out for awhile, I had brief snatches of quiet conversations, television shows, music. I had no idea how much time had passed. All I knew was each time I would come around there was someone next to me. Whether it was just overnight or days had passed and the brothers were swapping shifts, I had no idea. I could not manage to pull my thoughts together enough to figure it out, could not find it in myself to care.

Eventually, I heard my name being called. More than that, I felt it. Dean's deep voice quiet in my ear, my name rumbling through his chest against my back. The sensation of my name vibrating through someone else's body into my own was like a homing beacon for my consciousness to cling to.

"Ren? Come on Ren, you've got to be in there somewhere. You can't hide from me forever you know. I mean, I've heard of not calling someone back but this is ridiculous. I should have known you wouldn't respect me in the morning." He was trying to joke, but I could hear the thread of worry in his voice. His tone was too tight, strained, and his arms were crossed protectively in front of me again. "You often take advantage of dying men?" He dropped his forehead to the back of my head, sighed against my neck.

And that was it. The guilt that had consumed me at the start of all this came rushing back over me. Because his words rang true to me, I had felt like I was taking advantage of him somehow. Guilt and anger at myself were the stepping stones out of the nothingness I had been mired in, the vibration of his gravelly voice against my back was the rope I held onto for the climb.

"D...didn't mean...t...take...'vantage..." Damn, that wasn't how it had sounded in my head.

He gasped, his head snapping up. He rolled me onto my back and I could feel him leaned over me, though I couldn't yet find the strength to open my eyes. I felt his hand cup my cheek. "Ren?"

I swallowed hard, the sudden movement making the bed spin nauseatingly. With that as my incentive, I shoved my eyelids open a couple millimeters. "Sorry," I managed to say, and my voice sounded awful.

"Ren, you saved my life."

"No...Sam...priest..." I decided I was going to have to learn sign language for instances like this. Except I wasn't sure at that point whether I could move my hands either.

"Ren," his tone demanded my undivided attention and I slid my lidded gaze from the ceiling to his eyes, "you saved my life." I swallowed again and nodded. "If you ever pull a stunt like that again, I will take you out and shoot you."

I huffed out a laugh, the best I could do under the circumstances.

"You think I'm kidding. I have silver bullets you know."

I smiled as I felt myself drift off again, hoping the next time I woke it wouldn't be quite so hard to find my way back to the outside world. When I did, I'd be sure to inform Mr. Dean Winchester that I did not need silver bullets to shoot him in the ass. I needed to somehow convince him he was worth every bit of what I had done.

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And that's it! Thank you again for reading!