"Burning, now I bring you hell." - Hell, Disturbed
I couldn't describe this chapter better myself ^^.
Chapter 8: Relaxing… in Mayhem
The time was just past noon, and the day was already a hot one. Many of the party goers who were mentioned earlier were now in the water.
The Mario Brothers could be seen out in the water, the princesses not too far, just on the shore.
The Hero of Time was nearby taking long dives underwater, to both escape the heat and find a bit of peace in this raging mad house. Link and Ilia had returned to the area they were before Bowser's tidal wave, which they had fled from.
A massive crowd formed around the videogame tent, as many BBQ goers watched who kicked who's ass, and bets were placed.
In the distance, on a small island out in the lake, a small fire was burning. Most likely from Bowser's laughing at Mario.
Suddenly, the speakers erupted in a familiar voice of the true final boss.
"Cower in fear weaklings!" Bowser called out, standing on a small stage near where all the food was gathered, which, unlike when it was spread out, formed a massive heap. "For Bowser's First Eat-Till-You-Weap Eat off is about to commence!"
This attracted many brawlers, the offer of free food and as much as you could eat… and bragging rights.
The Mario brothers ran to the area of competition, as did Fox and Falco, who arrived just a few minutes earlier. Ganon approached the stage, hoping to earn some respect as the Lord of Darkness. Madame Flurry joined the competition, hoping she could win just for the sake of fun. Talo had also recovered from Luda's strike, and joined the contest. Lastly, the three Ed's showed up, ready to down their share of food.
Kirby was also a part of the contest, but there was an agreement that no super-human abilities could be used to aid in the consumption of food. So Kirby, while being able to eat and not suffer from getting full, was at a speed disadvantage.
Bowser had some help in setting up the food, Jack Blumeire and Impa helped set up all the food, and were able to do it fairly quickly.
"Alright you pathetic little whelps…"
"Can we just eat-a now, bowser?" Mario said, interrupting his rival.
"Shut up before I incinerate that precious cap of yours!" Bowser said, which made Mario completely silent. "Now, there are two rules: One, no super human powers to speed yourself up. Your natural speed however is not considered a super-human power, its merely your abilities. Second: Don't mess with your challengers, now, while I originally had this rule at 'DO' mess with your challengers, all you cowards made me change it." Bowser said, dismayed that his tournament of sorts was now much more fair than he would've liked. He only added the first rule due to Kirby's presence, if he could use his power, Kirby would eat all the food almost instantaneously.
"Now can we eat, I'm starved." Falco said, rubbing his stomach.
"I will fry the next person who says that!" Bowser said, stomping his foot in the ground, making sure Falco knew that Bowser would naught regret adding some fried chicken to the menu.
Once everyone was silent, Bowser began.
"One… Two… Three… Have at it, gluttons!" Bowser said, pounding a huge gong.
With that, the competitors went to quick work. Mario was downing dishes left and right, followed by Ed, Edd, and Eddy, who were downing food at their own paces.
Double D eating quickly, but orderly, so he was the slowest of the three.
Eddy ate wildly, but paced himself as he wasn't invincible.
Ed just shoved what he could in his mouth, Bowser cursed and threatened to disqualify him and serve him on a platter after eating several plates.
Luigi was eating fairly well, eating at a good pace.
Talo gorged himself as he usually did when he ate, eating large portions in almost no time at all.
Madame Flurry was a slower of the eaters, but she could easily put down whatever was given to her.
Kirby was just behind Mario in terms of speed, but wouldn't get full for a good long while.
Fox and Falco were more a less competing against each other, but easily keeping up the paces with all the other eaters.
Ganondorf was also one of the slower ones, but he could down an entire meal with large bites, so it evened out.
All in all, it was a pretty breakneck paced eat-off. Rather challenging, as all the eaters were very skilled.
However, Bowser decided to have some particular fun.
Ed aside, who had eaten several plates, every eater just had more food poured onto one plate. Mario's plate was 'treated' with some special laxatives. Bowser would achieve victory this day!
The eat-off trailed on, and Fox and Falco were the first to fall, followed then by Luigi, who had eaten an amazing amount of food before finally calling it quits.
Madame Flurry stopped when she finally got full, not wanting to push it, and not wanting to risk 'stretch clouds' as she called it, which would probably be her stretch-marks. It was shocking how much food she ate just to be full.
Ganondorf stuck it out there for a long time, finally calling it quits after eating nearly twice of what both Falco and Fox ate combined.
Talo dropped out a minute after Ganondorf, staying in just long enough to best the Great Lord of Evil in an eating contest, and not explode.
Kirby, Mario, and the Ed's were now neck and neck.
Bowser decided to step it up, and added some Fire Flower spice to some Curry that was prepared for this round. Once it was served to them, they all began to eat it.
Mario was phased slightly, but kept going. Kirby was entirely unaffected, but the eds were not so fortunate.
The fireflower was the hottest thing the eds had ever eaten, Double D had saved himself the scalding by sniffing it first, and just dropping out there. Eddy stated that Double D was just being a wuss, before grabbing a bite. Ed had just emptied the whole bowl into his mouth, before saying "Mmm, almost as good as gravy".
However, Eddy quickly felt the burn, as his mouth erupted in flames, and ran full speed to the edge of the cliff, and jumped into the lake, where a large cloud of steam could be seen rising from.
The fireflower took its toll on Ed, turning him beet red, and repeated the process, with a much bigger steam cloud.
Bowser grinned at his last two combatants. "Alright you fatasses, only two more plates to go, whoever finishes it first wins!"
Mario picked up the pace to the point where he was inhaling the food. Eating as fast as humanly possible.
Kirby did the same, but his short arms held him back, unable to eat quite as quickly as the pasta-bellied Mario.
Mario finished the first plate, then moments after that, with a slam of his utencils, he raised his gloved hand as the victor; two fingers up signifying peace.
Everyone cheered for the amazing spectacle that was Bowser's Eat-till-you-weep eat off.
Even Bowser let out his signature laugh, inviting Mario up to the stage to take a bow.
Mario did just that "Thank you, Pizano", he said as he reached the stage and let out an 'oh yeah!' as he slowly bowed.
However, he could feel his stomach wasn't too happy with that… or him… or Bowser's surprise.
Mario quickly stood up, and ran to the quickest porta-crapper in range… which was a good distance away.
The door slammed behind Mario as he charged into it, and various unpleasant sound effects could be heard under Mario's cries of terror. "Wahahahahahoooh!" and many other were uttered by Mario, as his system was entirely purged by the evil Bowser.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Bowser said, atop the stage, as he cued a death metal cover of his theme song from when he invaded Peach's Castle (Super Mario 64), to play, as he did a victory dance on stage. "I win, you stupid plumber! After so many years, I win one! Have fun in there, and keep that control stick smokin' now!"
Everyone was a bit surprised, but a lot of people actually found it funny for several reasons. Whether it was Bowser's pettiness, the creativity of Mario's defeat, or just the fact that he did something like that, it was all giving people a reason to laugh and enjoy the spectacle.
The Hero of Time was on his ass, laughing hysterically.
Anyways, after that spectacle, a series of new guests had arrived, which arrived V.I.A. brawl teleport. A string of four youths, and a woman in her mid-twenties stepped forward.
Mario being… 'preoccupied' at the moment, Luigi decided to greet them. "Hello-a there, how'sa you doing?"
"Uh, hey, this is the party right?" The one boy asked, fairly wild brown hair atop his head, and a black jacket and white shirt upon his torso, while sporting black pants and shoes.
"Exact-ta-ly, who are you?" Luigi asked, just checking to see who these guests were.
"I'm Squall, this is Rinoa, Zell, Selphie, and Sensei… err, Quistis." Squall said, as each of his friends and allies stepped forward.
"I'm pleased to meet all of-a you, please, enjoy yourselves." Luigi said, nodding. As they all stepped forward, luckily they brought some food, as half of it was eaten in that revenge plot by Bowser, and Luigi was worried there wasn't enough to go around for everyone.
Squall just nodded, as Rinoa grabbed him by the arm and dragged him towards the crowd that was resurrounding the videogame tent. The others then decided to follow a bit behind him, only to see what the crowd was about.
Moments after that, Mario was just about finished in the small one person trench room.
"Moto' Bene." Mario muttered, slowly standing up.
However, just then, a massive ship appeared just above the shores of Barbeque, shocking and surprising everyone as it came out of the Brawl teleport.
Luckilly though, it hadn't knocked Mario over. "Mama mia, don't-a scare me like that."
However, something else came out of a Brawl teleport.
A bike suddenly formed, and wizzed out of the teleport and break neck speed, turning and clipping the porta-crapper… sending it over a cliff and down to one of the shores below… half stuck in sand and upside down.
…That was not a good time to be Mario.
The ship rose up a bit, and stayed there, and the occupants left. The biker examined the area, and slowly stopped his bike, and parked it up against the stage on the shore.
Luigi went over to help his brother out of his torment, as Bowser busted a gut. The Hero of Time took it upon himself to introduce these guests to the insane party going on here.
He noticed a young blond haired boy and girl, followed by a black haired youth, a tall sophisticated looking brown haired gentleman, and… a playboy bunny in black armor.
"Hello there, welcome to the barbeque, I'm Link, The Hero of Time. Our host is a bit… busy at the moment, it's great to see you made it here." He said, extending his hand.
"Charmed." The sophisticated man said, shaking The Hero of Time's hand. "The name's Balthier."
"I'm Vaan." The blonde haired boy said, stepping forward, nodding. "This is Penelo…"
"I can introduce myself, Vaan." Penelo said, shoving him slightly. "Pleased to meet you." She said, to the Link in front of her.
"Nice to meet you, Vaan, Penelo; and who are you three?" The Hero of Time said, turning to the last three.
"I am Larsa, a pleasure to meet you." The black haired boy said, obviously some sort of nobility wherever he is from.
"I'm Fran, the pleasure's all mine." The playboy bunny said, stepping forward, seeming to go off by herself and examine the party.
"I'm Princess Ashe, it's nice to meet you. " Ashe said, extending her hand.
"A pleasure to meet you." Link said, bowing his head, and shaking her hand, not wanting to be too formal. He's been in service to the Kingdom of Hyrule, and knows how Zelda dreds formaility, so he assumed this princess would be similar.
"So, what do you got to do around here?" Vaan asked, looking around. Penelo glared at him a bit, wishing he'd be more polite.
"There's the videogame tent up there on that ridge, there's this giant lake, perfect for a hot day like this. There's plenty of food, so just go and enjoy yourself, it's a party." The Hero of Time said, slowly walking away from the group, waving. "See you all around."
They did the same, and seemed to split up and scatter. While Link looked for the renegade biker.
He finally found him around the food, looking out over the Lake. "Hey there."
"Oh, Hello, I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself, I'm Cloud." He said, without too much emotion, which Link didn't really mind.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Link, The Hero of Time, I thought I'd just greet you, since our hosts are a bit busy."
"Rather polite of you… but one thing, haven't noticed anyone strange here, have you?"
"Buddy, you're asking the wrong person. We're all fucking weird, is there a particular weirdo you're looking for?" The Hero of Time asked, between chuckles.
"Long white hair, and an even longer sword." Cloud said, seeming to remember the person vividly behind his eyes.
"Nope, no one like that, but if I see him, I'll give him a holler… wait, I know who it is, you're looking for Sephiroth." Link said, chuckling, being rather familiar with several worlds. He'd learned of Sephiroth from Mario, and several of their adventures through the worlds.
"You know him? Cloud asked, shocked.
"I know of him." Link said, slowly turning around. "Don't worry, I'll tell him you're around if I see him."
Cloud seemed to nod, as he went back to looking at the Lake from atop the ridge he was on, apart from everyone else.
Away from The Hero of Time. Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, Goombario, koops and Kooper tried to help Mario clean up from his hazardous encounter.
They dug a nice little hole for him to fill with ice, then melt, so he'd have a nice pool of water, which then he heated up.
They were scrubbing him down with various soaps as he kept the water hot with his fire powers.
"Mama Mia brother, Bowser got you good this time." Luigi said, with a clothes pin over his nose, as pretty much all of them had.
"Agreed, little brother." Mario said, with a sigh, as he was scrubbed down.
The calamity goes on.
Just try and tell me that was not a good chapter! XDD