Disclaimer: Wide Spread Panic doesn't own The Transformers, of course. Nor does she own any of the businesses or items mentioned within. This is but a work of fiction…
Author's note: Rating is for Chevy twins' bad-mouthing. Okay, so I've had a couple of reviewers say that they're having some trouble understanding Mudflap with his lisp… but I like writing it, because it amuses me (the whole point of the story). So, I've decided that I'll compromise. The chapters may seem extremely long, but it's because I've written the chapter in the same format as previous chapters. If you don't like or are having trouble understanding Mudflap, scroll down until you spot the Autobot and Decepticon logo composed of typing characters (kudos to whoever created those btw) from that point on, you'll find the same chapter in its entirety, but sans-lisp.
Ch.4: Introductions
Humans aren't a terribly threatening species on the whole, especially when compared with other animals present on Earth. The keratin flaps, fingernails, on the end of our fingers aren't sharp enough to serve as weapons and tend to break off easily. Our teeth are too blunt to really rend flesh and we can't move very quickly. And in some strange evolutionary twist, we developed a primal reflex.
The reflex to, when confronted with overwhelming terrors, scream and faint.
The intruders elected for the former option. No sooner had the younger girl started screaming than the older girl joined in. The two aliens jerked at the sound and whipped around. As Skids turned, the clearance sign firmly gripped in his large hands, he yanked a little harder in surprise and the sign came loose with a wrenching metallic squeal. Mudflap yowled in pain and Skids lost his grip on the sign.
I saw it coming, but I wasn't able to dodge. I stood there in frozen horror. The metal sign hit the ground and bounced towards us end over end. The girls' screaming cut off in an unnatural strangled sound and the sign whizzed by inches to my right. I shuddered violently and peered over one shoulder. The sign had come to a stop in the dirt not too far from the fallen forms of the two girls. Neither one seemed to have been hit by it, I decided as I sat proceeded to fold up into a sitting position.
The two aliens stomped over and I shuddered again. "Man, what kind of look-out are ya?" Skids demanded and he roughly poked my shoulder with one huge finger. "Now we got witnesses."
"Thit, man. Prime'th gonna whoop uth," Mudflap mumbled as he shrugged and twisted uncomfortably. "That'th gonna be hurtin' for a while," he added, shooting his counterpart a gimlet stare.
"Ya moved," Skids muttered dismissively.
"Did not."
"Did too. Let's get outta here before they wake up," Skids added, quickly changing the subject.
"Did not. And what about when they go yellin' to the authoritieth about alienth? Prime thaid if we blew it again, he gonna let 'ol Hide punith uth."
"Ain't afraid of him. He's so old, he'll fall an' break a servo tryin' to catch us."
"Yo shtupid ath ain't afraid of him, I ain't shtupid," Mudflap countered irritably.
Skids made a sound startlingly close to a snarl and it occurred to me that I was directly between them. The knowledge of how often they fought motivated me to get up and scramble to a safe distance away. They both watched me with varying degrees of amusement, their argument temporarily forgotten.
"And ya thaid the wath shtupid," Mudflap said with a disturbing grin.
I glowered at them, tensed to bolt even further away if they started wrestling.
Skids made a sound remarkably like a snort. "She is stupid," he muttered crossly and he walked over to peer down at the two fallen women. He nudged the older one with the edge of his foot.
"Tho what we doin' with them?" Mudflap asked, crouching down beside his twin.
I edged closer to the twins and looked around Mudflap's bulk at the fallen women, shooting irritable glares at Skids as I did so. He was no genius himself, and the only thing keeping me from pointing it out to him was the knowledge of what he could do to me if I did.
Skids prodded the woman again with his foot before coming to a decision. "Take em with us."
Mudflap rolled his eyes and threw his hands up. "Oh, yeah. That'th sthmart. How we thuppothed to hide three humanth? Ya shtupid. Ya shtupid an' I'm shtupid for lithenin' to ya," he mumbled.
Skids took a threatening step toward his twin and Mudflap bristled. I abruptly realized the two aliens were standing over the two women. I swallowed and moved closer to Mudflap. I reached up to cautiously rap my knuckles on his leg.
Mudflap and Skids glowered down at me and I stepped back, nervously.
Skids muttered something in a language composed of electronic warbles, trills, and chirps. Mudflap crouched and transformed into his half of the truck. As I nervously watched Skids bent and grabbed both women none two gently and stuffed them into Mudflap's interior. I stepped back as Skids transformed and combined with his twin. The truck's back door opened and I sighed. Apparently, my front-seat rights had been revoked. I climbed into the back of the ice cream truck and sat down against one wall. As I settled in, it occurred to me that maybe I should've tried to run, but I discarded the idea almost instantly. I looked like hell and I was broke. Who in their right mind would help me?
The truck rumbled to life and bounced off in the night, thankfully without the obnoxious melody this time.
I slept uneasily, propped up against one wall. I woke with a start when the older woman stirred. I straightened as she rolled onto her stomach and sat up. She rubbed muzzily at her eyes and then tensed. She lurched unsteadily to her feet, her hands balled into fists. The truck lurched to one side and she went down on one knee.
"Who are ya? Where am ah?!" Her voice rose unsteadily higher, thick with a prominent southern accent. "What the hell's goin' on here?! Where did those thangs go?!"
I shrugged, unsure of what to say. She was definitely unhappy and I was worried that the wrong answer might result in me being throttled. I was saved from having to come up with anything by the younger girl.
She sat up, a little wobbly and stared from me to her companion. "What the hell just happened?" She mumbled. "I think I'm going to be sick. Yeah, definitely going to be sick," she added with a resigned tone.
"Hell, no!" Skids' voice boomed inside the back of the truck. "Attention assorted organics! No ejectin' yo nasty human slime in the interior!"
The curly haired woman's mouth opened and shut in shock. "Human… slime?" She drawled out the words slowly.
"I'll have you know I'm military!" The younger woman snapped at Skids' disembodied voice, not noticing the growing horrified expression on her companion's face. "You're going to get your ass kicked for kidnapping me-"
"What are ya that ya ain't human?" The first woman demanded, in a loud voice.
The self-proclaimed military woman shut her mouth with a snap. I stared fixedly at the truck's dirty floor. Neither Skids nor Mudflap commented and the curly haired woman's expression became fervent.
"Ah knew it!" She yelled, startling all of us. "Ah knew aliens were real!" She paused to whack the younger girl roughly on the shoulder. "Didn't ah tell ya? Where are they takin' us?"
Dear, lord, I thought miserably. One of Adam's people. I shrugged again.
"If I was an alien who'd been found out, I'd be looking for a place to hide the bodies," the younger girl said in a matter of fact tone. We both stared at her in horror. She shrugged unapologetically. "I would. Name's Kayleigh. If we're going to all die horribly, then I guess it doesn't matter, though." She shrugged again.
"The military'd cover it up too," added the curly-haired woman with a nod, Kayleigh shooting her an annoyed look. "Well, they would. Ah'm Dagny," she added cheerfully. "Nobody'd ever know what happened to us."
I stared at them in mild disgust. I snickered suddenly at the sheer ludicrousness of the situation. I was trapped in the back of a deranged alien ice cream truck with two women who were neutrally discussing our demise. "What the hell. I'm Melissa and I think I've quite possibly gone irrevocably insane," I told them.
"Happens to the best of us," Kayleigh replied good-naturedly. "Maybe they'll make it a quick death. Hey, aliens!" She yelled at the truck's ceiling. "Just so it's out there- I'm not cool with the whole probing thing!"
We were silent, more from shock than anything else. The two aliens exploded at her comment.
"Wha?! Shit, man! Shit! Man, ya humans are messed up! What is wrong wit' ya?!" Skids' voice snarled.
Mudflap's voice cut in racked with laughter. "I like humanth. They thcrewed up."
"Yeah, just keep your probies to yourself," Kayleigh muttered and she crossed her arms.
This is going to be interesting, I decided as I settled against the wall to listen to the twins rant.
l=lVl=l
l=l l=l
\l H l/
AUTOBOTS
l\ .M. /l
\l=V=l/
l\lVl/l
DECEPTICONS
Ch.4: Introductions
Humans aren't a terribly threatening species on the whole, especially when compared with other animals present on Earth. The keratin flaps, fingernails, on the end of our fingers aren't sharp enough to serve as weapons and tend to break off easily. Our teeth are too blunt to really rend flesh and we can't move very quickly. And in some strange evolutionary twist, we developed a primal reflex.
The reflex to, when confronted with overwhelming terrors, scream and faint.
The intruders elected for the former option. No sooner had the younger girl started screaming than the older girl joined in. The two aliens jerked at the sound and whipped around. As Skids turned, the clearance sign firmly gripped in his large hands, he yanked a little harder in surprise and the sign came loose with a wrenching metallic squeal. Mudflap yowled in pain and Skids lost his grip on the sign.
I saw it coming, but I wasn't able to dodge. I stood there in frozen horror. The metal sign hit the ground and bounced towards us end over end. The girls' screaming cut off in an unnatural strangled sound and the sign whizzed by inches to my right. I shuddered violently and peered over one shoulder. The sign had come to a stop in the dirt not too far from the fallen forms of the two girls. Neither one seemed to have been hit by it, I decided as I sat proceeded to fold up into a sitting position.
The two aliens stomped over and I shuddered again. "Man, what kind of look-out are ya?" Skids demanded and he roughly poked my shoulder with one huge finger. "Now we got witnesses."
"Shit, man. Prime's gonna whoop us," Mudflap mumbled as he shrugged and twisted uncomfortably. "That's gonna be hurtin' for a while," he added, shooting his counterpart a gimlet stare.
"Ya moved," Skids muttered dismissively.
"Did not."
"Did too. Let's get outta here before they wake up," Skids added, quickly changing the subject.
"Did not. And what about when they go yellin' to the authorities about aliens? Prime said if we blew it again, he gonna let 'ol Hide punish us."
"Ain't afraid of him. He's so old, he'll fall an' break a servo tryin' to catch us."
"Yo stupid ass ain't afraid of him, I ain't stupid," Mudflap countered irritably.
Skids made a sound startlingly close to a snarl and it occurred to me that I was directly between them. The knowledge of how often they fought motivated me to get up and scramble to a safe distance away. They both watched me with varying degrees of amusement, their argument temporarily forgotten.
"And ya said the was stupid," Mudflap said with a disturbing grin.
I glowered at them, tensed to bolt even further away if they started wrestling.
Skids made a sound remarkably like a snort. "She is stupid," he muttered crossly and he walked over to peer down at the two fallen women. He nudged the older one with the edge of his foot.
"So what we doin' with them?" Mudflap asked, crouching down beside his twin.
I edged closer to the twins and looked around Mudflap's bulk at the fallen women, shooting irritable glares at Skids as I did so. He was no genius himself, and the only thing keeping me from pointing it out to him was the knowledge of what he could do to me if I did.
Skids prodded the woman again with his foot before coming to a decision. "Take em with us."
Mudflap rolled his eyes and threw his hands up. "Oh, yeah. That's smart. How we supposed to hide three humans? Ya stupid. Ya stupid an' I'm stupid for listenin' to ya," he mumbled.
Skids took a threatening step toward his twin and Mudflap bristled. I abruptly realized the two aliens were standing over the two women. I swallowed and moved closer to Mudflap. I reached up to cautiously rap my knuckles on his leg.
Mudflap and Skids glowered down at me and I stepped back, nervously.
Skids muttered something in a language composed of electronic warbles, trills, and chirps. Mudflap crouched and transformed into his half of the truck. As I nervously watched Skids bent and grabbed both women none two gently and stuffed them into Mudflap's interior. I stepped back as Skids transformed and combined with his twin. The truck's back door opened and I sighed. Apparently, my front-seat rights had been revoked. I climbed into the back of the ice cream truck and sat down against one wall. As I settled in, it occurred to me that maybe I should've tried to run, but I discarded the idea almost instantly. I looked like hell and I was broke. Who in their right mind would help me?
The truck rumbled to life and bounced off in the night, thankfully without the obnoxious melody this time.
I slept uneasily, propped up against one wall. I woke with a start when the older woman stirred. I straightened as she rolled onto her stomach and sat up. She rubbed muzzily at her eyes and then tensed. She lurched unsteadily to her feet, her hands balled into fists. The truck lurched to one side and she went down on one knee.
"Who are ya? Where am I?!" Her voice rose unsteadily higher, thick with a prominent southern accent. "What the hell's goin' on here?! Where did those things go?!"
I shrugged, unsure of what to say. She was definitely unhappy and I was worried that the wrong answer might result in me being throttled. I was saved from having to come up with anything by the younger girl.
She sat up, a little wobbly and stared from me to her companion. "What the hell just happened?" She mumbled. "I think I'm going to be sick. Yeah, definitely going to be sick," she added with a resigned tone.
"Hell, no!" Skids' voice boomed inside the back of the truck. "Attention assorted organics! No ejectin' yo nasty human slime in the interior!"
The curly haired woman's mouth opened and shut in shock. "Human… slime?" She drawled out the words slowly.
"I'll have you know I'm military!" The younger woman snapped at Skids' disembodied voice, not noticing the growing horrified expression on her companion's face. "You're going to get your ass kicked for kidnapping me-"
"What are ya that ya ain't human?" The first woman demanded, in a loud voice.
The self-proclaimed military woman shut her mouth with a snap. I stared fixedly at the truck's dirty floor. Neither Skids nor Mudflap commented and the curly haired woman's expression became fervent.
"I knew it!" She yelled, startling all of us. "I knew aliens were real!" She paused to whack the younger girl roughly on the shoulder. "Didn't I tell ya? Where are they takin' us?"
Dear, lord, I thought miserably. One of Adam's people. I shrugged again.
"If I was an alien who'd been found out, I'd be looking for a place to hide the bodies," the younger girl said in a matter of fact tone. We both stared at her in horror. She shrugged unapologetically. "I would. Name's Kayleigh. If we're going to all die horribly, then I guess it doesn't matter, though." She shrugged again.
"The military'd cover it up too," added the curly-haired woman with a nod, Kayleigh shooting her an annoyed look. "Well, they would. I'm Dagny," she added cheerfully. "Nobody'd ever know what happened to us."
I stared at them in mild disgust. I snickered suddenly at the sheer ludicrousness of the situation. I was trapped in the back of a deranged alien ice cream truck with two women who were neutrally discussing our demise. "What the hell. I'm Melissa and I think I've quite possibly gone irrevocably insane," I told them.
"Happens to the best of us," Kayleigh replied good-naturedly. "Maybe they'll make it a quick death. Hey, aliens!" She yelled at the truck's ceiling. "Just so it's out there- I'm not cool with the whole probing thing!"
We were silent, more from shock than anything else. The two aliens exploded at her comment.
"Wha?! Shit, man! Shit! Man, ya humans are messed up! What is wrong wit' ya?!" Skids' voice snarled.
Mudflap's voice cut in racked with laughter. "I like humans. They screwed up."
"Yeah, just keep your probies to yourself," Kayleigh muttered and she crossed her arms.
This is going to be interesting, I decided as I settled against the wall to listen to the twins rant.