Disclaimer: Wide Spread Panic doesn't own The Transformers, of course. Nor does she own any of the businesses or items mentioned within. As for the people, you know who you are and who owns who and I promise to put you back with a minimum of mental scarring when I'm done playing. This is but a work of fiction…
Author's note: I've had Writer's Block… joy of joys that it is (this is sarcasm if you can't tell, dear reader). It seems to have moved on to torment some other poor soul for the moment, so I figured to seize my chance and type up a new chapter. I apologize humbly for the delay and pray that you're not the individual it has moved on to; also this chapter is rather short. Rating is for Chevy twins' bad-mouthing. Okay, so I've had a couple of reviewers say that they're having some trouble understanding Mudflap with his lisp… but I like writing it, because it amuses me (the whole point of the story). So, I've decided that I'll compromise. The chapters may seem extremely long, but it's because I've written the chapter in the same format as previous chapters. If you don't like or are having trouble understanding Mudflap, scroll down until you spot the Autobot and Decepticon logo composed of typing characters (kudos to whoever created those btw) from that point on, you'll find the same chapter in its entirety, but sans-lisp.
Ch.5: Supernatural Superserious
"Ah mean it probably ain't yer fault, bein' kidnapped an' all," Dagny said and I fought the urge to growl. "But ah'm tellin' ya this fer yer own good. Ya smell like a pole-kitteh. Or maybe like ya been rollin' in what's left of a very dead pole-kitteh."
"And it smells like vomit in here," Kayleigh pointed out.
The ice cream truck that made up the twins wasn't all that spacious so we were crammed against the walls, our legs tucked close to our bodies, nearly touching. The ice cream truck shuddered at the mention of vomit, so I knew the twins were eavesdropping in on our conversation. I resisted telling the girl why it smelled like vomit as I sat pressed against my wall. I'd had the presence of mind to make sure I wasn't sitting near the invisible line that designated where one twin ended and the other began. I noted that Kayleigh was sitting exactly where I'd guesstimated the divider line was.
"What'th a pole-kitteh?" Mudflap's voice suddenly asked, making the other two girls jerk slightly.
"Skunk," I answered instantly, my voice dry and croaking. "Black and white striped animal that smells bad."
"They probably right then," Skids said, deciding to put in his two cents. "Ya freakin' stink."
I pressed my forehead to my knees, fighting down a sick headache. I was bruised. I was hungry. I was dirty. I had only had a little brown water to drink. I was being held against my will by aliens. And now to top off the indignities I'd suffered, I had to put with these two. To my intense irritation, neither seemed all that aware of just how dire our situation was. They seemed to think this was all a grand adventure and that everything would turn out okay. I knew what was going on in their heads and I eyed them sulkily in jealousy. They didn't think anything bad would happen to them, like most people, they clung to the notion that bad things only happened to other people.
"If you don't like the smell," I growled, my throat painfully protesting my raising voice. "Let me go!"
Skids growled right back. "Yeah, an' yo loopy ass'll go runnin' to the po-po babblin' about aliens."
"You do need a shower though," Kayleigh piped up unhelpfully. "Badly."
"It's cruel and unusual pennin' us up in here with that smell," Dagny snapped, kicking one side of the truck's interior. "Ah'm an American citizen. Ah got rights!"
The twins slammed on the brakes suddenly and we all fell over, instantly clawing to separate ourselves. "Mute it ya lil' fraggers! Primus, Starscream don't bitch this much. If ya get showers will ya shut up?!" Skids snarled furiously.
"Ya turn thothe lil' thith looth an' we'll never catch em," Mudflap protested.
I raised my voice, before the twins could start fighting in earnest. "And food!" I yelled.
The ice cream truck shifted on its shocks as the twins debated in their own language and their three passengers waited anxiously. Without a word, the truck began moving again. I sank against the truck wall with a defeated sigh, figuring they'd decided not to stop. I was surprised when we came to another abrupt stop.
"Okay, here'th the deal. Ya gonna check in here and shtay put til we come get yo atheth," Mudflap said.
"Yo, fruit-loop. Still got yo money?" Skids demanded and I dug the wadded up handful of bills out of my pocket and held them up shakily. "Fine. Just so ya know, ya try an' run… ya get run over."
The truck's backdoor swung open then, the sun momentarily blinding me. We piled out of the back of the truck and were greeted by a generic hotel. I had never seen anything more beautiful in my life; it truly brought a tear to my eyes.
Dagny looked at the hotel and then at me and snatched part of the money from me. I narrowed my eyes and she simply raised her eyebrows. "Ya look like hell. You try to rent us a room and they'll kick us out and laugh while they're doin' it," she said.
I tried to gather an argument, but gave up with a sigh. She was right anyway. So I let her lead the way, not failing to notice how she and Kayleigh kept well ahead of me, giving off an air of 'Her? We don't know her.' Dagny managed to get us two rooms that were joined for a considerable chunk of my money. As soon as they slid the card key to open the first room, I shoved in first, loudly declaring 'dibs' on the shower in tones that brooked no argument. I heard Kayleigh saying something about ordering pizza and my stomach tightened painfully at the thought of food. I shut the door behind me and peeled my dirty clothes off, cringing at the layer of grime caked onto my skin. I twisted to look at my reflection in the big mirror and flinched. The bruises were mostly turning to various shades of sickly green, yellow and brown. I really did look like hell.
I turned on the water as hot as I could stand it and stepped in, hissing in pain and pleasure and watched the water run brown into the drain with mild satisfaction. I stood there for an indeterminate amount of time, just enjoying the feel of the water.
When I was done washing and my skin was pink from the hot water, I shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. I reached for a towel and went rigid. At that precise moment, a tall lanky man with ridiculous looking teeth and short-cropped dark curly hair walked through the door. His skin was a warm coffee color, but his eyes were bright blue and glowed. He glared at me and I gaped, a strangled sound escaping me.
"Yo, fruit-loop. I want ya to get those other squishies ready to roll—"
Realization sank in about the same time as a wordless impotent rage. Skids. I screamed in fury and hastily covered myself with the towel as best I could with one hand as I snatched up a bottle of complimentary shampoo and chucked it at his head. He, a hologram I belatedly realized, flickered and then disappeared. I threw open the bathroom door, eyes wild and a bottle of conditioner held over my head.
Kayleigh and Dagny took my half-naked frenzied appearance in stride. Kayleigh nudged Dagny.
"I told him he didn't want to go in there," she said sounding smug.
Dagny scowled at me. "Get some clothes on. Pizza's gettin' cold."
l=lVl=l
l=l l=l
\l H l/
AUTOBOTS
vs.
l\ .M. /l
\l=V=l/
l\lVl/l
DECEPTICONS
Ch.5: Supernatural Superserious
"Ah mean it probably ain't yer fault, bein' kidnapped an' all," Dagny said and I fought the urge to growl. "But ah'm tellin' ya this fer yer own good. Ya smell like a pole-kitteh. Or maybe like ya been rollin' in what's left of a very dead pole-kitteh."
"And it smells like vomit in here," Kayleigh pointed out.
The ice cream truck that made up the twins wasn't all that spacious so we were crammed against the walls, our legs tucked close to our bodies, nearly touching. The ice cream truck shuddered at the mention of vomit, so I knew the twins were eavesdropping in on our conversation. I resisted telling the girl why it smelled like vomit as I sat pressed against my wall. I'd had the presence of mind to make sure I wasn't sitting near the invisible line that designated where one twin ended and the other began. I noted that Kayleigh was sitting exactly where I'd guesstimated the divider line was.
"What's a pole-kitteh?" Mudflap's voice suddenly asked, making the other two girls jerk slightly.
"Skunk," I answered instantly, my voice dry and croaking. "Black and white striped animal that smells bad."
"They probably right then," Skids said, deciding to put in his two cents. "Ya freakin' stink."
I pressed my forehead to my knees, fighting down a sick headache. I was bruised. I was hungry. I was dirty. I had only had a little brown water to drink. I was being held against my will by aliens. And now to top off the indignities I'd suffered, I had to put with these two. To my intense irritation, neither seemed all that aware of just how dire our situation was. They seemed to think this was all a grand adventure and that everything would turn out okay. I knew what was going on in their heads and I eyed them sulkily in jealousy. They didn't think anything bad would happen to them, like most people, they clung to the notion that bad things only happened to other people.
"If you don't like the smell," I growled, my throat painfully protesting my raising voice. "Let me go!"
Skids growled right back. "Yeah, an' yo loopy ass'll go runnin' to the po-po babblin' about aliens."
"You do need a shower though," Kayleigh piped up unhelpfully. "Badly."
"It's cruel and unusual pennin' us up in here with that smell," Dagny snapped, kicking one side of the truck's interior. "Ah'm an American citizen. Ah got rights!"
The twins slammed on the brakes suddenly and we all fell over, instantly clawing to separate ourselves. "Mute it ya lil' fraggers! Primus, Starscream don't bitch this much. If ya get showers will ya shut up?!" Skids snarled furiously.
"Ya turn those lil' shits loose an' we'll never catch em," Mudflap protested.
I raised my voice, before the twins could start fighting in earnest. "And food!" I yelled.
The ice cream truck shifted on its shocks as the twins debated in their own language and their three passengers waited anxiously. Without a word, the truck began moving again. I sank against the truck wall with a defeated sigh, figuring they'd decided not to stop. I was surprised when we came to another abrupt stop.
"Okay, here's the deal. Ya gonna check in here and stay put til we come get yo asses," Mudflap said.
"Yo, fruit-loop. Still got yo money?" Skids demanded and I dug the wadded up handful of bills out of my pocket and held them up shakily. "Fine. Just so ya know, ya try an' run… ya get run over."
The truck's backdoor swung open then, the sun momentarily blinding me. We piled out of the back of the truck and were greeted by a generic hotel. I had never seen anything more beautiful in my life; it truly brought a tear to my eyes.
Dagny looked at the hotel and then at me and snatched part of the money from me. I narrowed my eyes and she simply raised her eyebrows. "Ya look like hell. You try to rent us a room and they'll kick us out and laugh while they're doin' it," she said.
I tried to gather an argument, but gave up with a sigh. She was right anyway. So I let her lead the way, not failing to notice how she and Kayleigh kept well ahead of me, giving off an air of 'Her? We don't know her.' Dagny managed to get us two rooms that were joined for a considerable chunk of my money. As soon as they slid the card key to open the first room, I shoved in first, loudly declaring 'dibs' on the shower in tones that brooked no argument. I heard Kayleigh saying something about ordering pizza and my stomach tightened painfully at the thought of food. I shut the door behind me and peeled my dirty clothes off, cringing at the layer of grime caked onto my skin. I twisted to look at my reflection in the big mirror and flinched. The bruises were mostly turning to various shades of sickly green, yellow and brown. I really did look like hell.
I turned on the water as hot as I could stand it and stepped in, hissing in pain and pleasure and watched the water run brown into the drain with mild satisfaction. I stood there for an indeterminate amount of time, just enjoying the feel of the water.
When I was done washing and my skin was pink from the hot water, I shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. I reached for a towel and went rigid. At that precise moment, a tall lanky man with ridiculous looking teeth and short-cropped dark curly hair walked through the door. His skin was a warm coffee color, but his eyes were bright blue and glowed. He glared at me and I gaped, a strangled sound escaping me.
"Yo, fruit-loop. I want ya to get those other squishies ready to roll—"
Realization sank in about the same time as a wordless impotent rage. Skids. I screamed in fury and hastily covered myself with the towel as best I could with one hand as I snatched up a bottle of complimentary shampoo and chucked it at his head. He, a hologram I belatedly realized, flickered and then disappeared. I threw open the bathroom door, eyes wild and a bottle of conditioner held over my head.
Kayleigh and Dagny took my half-naked frenzied appearance in stride. Kayleigh nudged Dagny.
"I told him he didn't want to go in there," she said sounding smug.
Dagny scowled at me. "Get some clothes on. Pizza's gettin' cold."