Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue me.

So still

So still. No matter how long Peter stared at the trees outside his window, they never danced. This wasn't Narnia and Peter would never see the trees dance again. He would never see centaurs or dwarfs. He would never talk to Aslan or spend nights camped out at the ruins of Cair Paravel. He would never cross blades on the battlefield.

He would never see Caspian again.

It was this thought more than all the others that plagued Peter's thoughts, kept him awake at night and caused the silent tears he allowed to fall only after the other boys in his dorm were fast asleep.

They had had so little time together. He was grateful for the extra two months Aslan had given them at the former Telmarine castle, for both Peter and Caspian knew he would have been sent home right after the battle had Aslan not chosen to give the two lovers some final time together. Pulling his legs to his chest, Peter leaned against the wall of the bay window. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine the cushioned backrest was Caspian, tried to picture his strong arms holding him in a comforting embrace. But when he opened his eyes, he had only the cold air for comfort.

Forehead pressed against the cool windowpane, Peter stared outside, but he did not see the trees or the night sky. Instead, he saw his final trip to Narnia, playing out like a movie in his mind. The memory of the first time they had kissed presented itself before Peter's eyes.

"What can we do? The Telamrine soldiers will be here by nightfall next and they outnumber us ten-to-one at least."

"Your expertise far surpasses my own, Your Majesty, and the decision lies with you."

"I know Narnians, you know Telmarines. You know far better than I how to defeat them."

After over two hours in the tomb fortress, Peter and Caspian were no closer to a plan and much closer to desperation.

"I can't do this!" Caspian cried out suddenly, "This is a task far more difficult than I have ever encountered. I do not know what to do and when I try to help, I only make things worse. You would be far better off without me here to distract you with stupid questions and proposals. I'm sorry for keeping you awake, Your Majesty." Peter quickly drew his eyes from the maps on the broken table to Caspian's pained face. Caspian moved to depart, but Peter's hand locked around Caspian's wrist, preventing him from leaving.

"Caspian. You are an amazing leader. You united the Narnians and turned them into an army. Despite being a Telmaraine noble, you gained their trust. You managed to summon my siblings and me here, something people have been trying to do for thirteen hundred years. You can do this. We can do this." Eyes locked with Caspian's, Peter wasn't sure exactly how it happened, but it had and before he knew it he and Caspian were locked in a sweet embrace of arms, lips and tongues.

One of Peter's most cherished memories floated through his mind next. It was after the war, in safety where they had little to worry about and much time to spend together.

Wandering hand-in-hand through one of the orchards, the two lovers walked in a comfortable silence, the occasional spoken thought drifting through the air. Caspian reached up and pulled an apple off a nearby tree, took a bite and offered it to Peter. The two boys had wandered all night, mindful of neither the time nor anything else save for themselves and the stars around them. Moving closer to Caspian for warmth and feeling Caspian's strong arms wrap him in a familiar embrace, Peter knew there was nowhere else in the world that would ever feel as safe. Tilting his head up to capture Caspian's lips in a deep kiss, Peter knew he never wanted it to end.

Despite the High King's wishes, his time with Caspian had drawn to a close. Peter crushed his eyes shut, trying to stop the painful memory, but the scene only continued to play out, painted on the insides of his eyelids.

Peter stood in the centre of the room, shaking. He had known this was coming, he knew he would have to leave soon, but that didn't make the news much easier to take. Aslan had just informed him and Susan that they were to leave that evening with any Telmarines who chose to start a new life in England. With a comforting squeeze, Susan let go of her brother's arm and moved to leave with Aslan.

"Peter! Peter where are you? Susan said you were down this way. Peter which room are y-" Caspian's calls fell short as he turned into the doorway and saw Peter standing lost and confused in the room. He quickly rushed over and guided Peter to a nearby sofa.

"Peter what's wrong? Peter say something! Tell me what's wrong! Is everyone okay? Is someone hurt? Tell me what's wrong, you are scaring me!"

"I am… I am leaving… tonight. Aslan just said. Me and Susan and Lucy and Edmond." Peter felt Caspian's grip on his shoulder loosen slightly at the news before tightening again.

"Shhh Peter it's okay, we both knew this would be coming. Don't worry, Love, you'll be back soon."

"That's just it, Caspian." Peter turned, unable to meet his lover's gaze, "Aslan says I am not coming back."

"What?" Caspian managed to whisper. Peter didn't need to look meet Caspian's eyes, he knew the pain they would hold.

"Susan and I, once we leave tonight, we can't return."

The two lovers huddled together on the crimson couch, clinging on to each other as tightly as they could. It was almost as if by holding on to each other they could stop the inevitable. They stayed together on the same couch for hours, a mess of limbs, lips and words of comfort. At the end of the day, a servant coughed quietly and announced, in a very apologetic voice, that everyone had assembled.

The formal goodbyes seemed to take only minutes and before Peter knew it, it was time to leave. After one final, beautiful kiss, Peter allowed Edmond's hand on his shoulder to guide him towards the tree, and with one final look back, he was gone.

So that is chapter one. There is obviously a lot more left. The next chapter should be up sometime tomorrow. Thoughts? Comments? Reviews?