Slag Happens Chapter 7: Ch7: No Escape, a transformers/beast wars fanfic

Disclaimer: Wide Spread Panic doesn't own The Transformers, of course. Nor does she own any of the businesses or items mentioned within. As for the people, you know who you are and who owns who and I promise to put you back with a minimum of mental scarring when I'm done playing. This is but a work of fiction…

Author's note: Rating is for Chevy twins' bad-mouthing. Okay, so I've had a couple of reviewers say that they're having some trouble understanding Mudflap with his lisp… but I like writing it, because it amuses me (the whole point of the story). So, I've decided that I'll compromise. The chapters may seem extremely long, but it's because I've written the chapter in the same format as previous chapters. If you don't like or are having trouble understanding Mudflap, scroll down until you spot the Autobot and Decepticon logo composed of typing characters (kudos to whoever created those btw) from that point on, you'll find the same chapter in its entirety, but sans-lisp.

Ch.7: No Escape

"Uh, Lennox… you remember anyone saying anything about any new recruits?"

I blanched when I heard that. We kept right on trooping along on the twins' heels like a flock of little ducklings. No guns were drawn on us. No one stopped us, but I was highly aware of the two actual military personnel watching us closely. The dark-skinned one was actually smirking while the other he'd called Lennox's expression looked vaguely like he was constipated.

The twins ushered us along, ignoring the looks from the two men. Skids actually started swaggering, one lips curled up as though daring anyone to stop them. I was getting more and more nervous and was starting to feel sick. I sped up and patted Mudflap's leg quickly. He turned to look at me curiously.

"Whath up?" He asked in a whisper, so maybe he wasn't as confident as his twin brother.

"Do you two have a plan? I don't mean to nag, but you don't seem to have one," I whispered back, eyes wide.

"When are two going to let us go home? This is getting old," Kayleigh asked a little loud and I flinched, looking around expecting to see guns trained on us and someone yelling 'intruders!' "I've got drill this weekend. I'll get in trouble if I don't show up," she added, seemingly oblivious to the glare she was getting from me and Mudflap both.

Skids answered, his expression grouchy. "You're staying here. I ain't lettin' ya go runnin' around yellin' about no aliens," he hissed at us. "We're not allowed to screw up again."

Dagny's face screwed up. "We're not gerbils, ya idiots. Ya can't keep us here," she hissed.

"News flash, Squishies. We're big, we're bad, and we make the rules, so shove it," Skids snarled.

"Wait, we keepin' em?" Mudflap asked, looking puzzled. "What the hell we thuppothed to do with three humanth?"

Skids growled, actually growled. "Yo stupid ass is always goin' on about how ya want a pet. Wish granted, ya got three."

Mudflap stared at us blankly. We all just gaped in varying degrees of humiliation and indignation. "I don't want em," he said flatly.

"I am not a pet!" Kayleigh shrilled suddenly. "Especially not the pet of two big, stupid alien rejects!"

"Ah sure as hell ain't no one's pet," Dagny added, her own voice rising.

I just shook my head wordlessly.

"I wouldn't want ya for a pet anyway!" Mudflap snarled, jabbing a finger at Kayleigh.

"At least I don't smell like vomit!" She instantly retaliated.

I was suddenly very aware of the people staring at us. I began edging around Mudflap, deciding that he would make a decent shield in case someone decided to start shooting.

"IT AIN'T MY FAULT I SMELL LIKE THAT!" Skids roared, looming over us.

"Your fault," Mudflap said, turning his head to look at me as I attempted to hide behind him.

"Wait, you—ewww, man," Dagny groaned looking at me.

"You threw up in them?" Kayleigh asked, suddenly very interested in me. I flushed, trying to telegraph through subtle head nods that a crowd of actual military personnel were headed toward us at a jog. Kayleigh either didn't understand, or didn't notice. She burst out laughing. "Ewww, I knew you smelled like puke! That's freakin' awesome!"

You wouldn't believe you could glare when your eyes are as big as dinner plates. I managed it though. I saw one of the men, the one called Lennox reaching around, presumably for a weapon. My brain, my poor rattled, terrified brain gave the equivalent of saying, 'screw this,' and I was scrambling and running headlong for shelter. I heard both girls shriek in surprise at my sudden activity and then they finally noticed the group moving toward them. I heard the twins both yell at me, but I was running for one corner of the large complex where several vehicles were lined up. A man in fatigues lunged at me, but I barely dodged him and scrambled on all fours under the closest vehicle I could easily get under.

A big, green Search and Rescue Hummer.

I scooted under the vehicle and was mildly surprised when no one tried to grab one of my arms or legs and haul me back out. A part of my mind was setting off silent alarms that only intensified with the twins' next words.

"Oh, thit. No, the juth didn't."

"Uh, Fruit-loop? Real dumb idea," Skids called out.

I suddenly froze. The two twin giant aliens turned into a vehicle. The other evil one had turned into a vehicle. The police car had really been an alien… I moaned. Surely to God, I hadn't dived under…

The Hummer shifted on its shocks over me and I wanted to cry. A deep voice rumbled directly overhead. "Someone better tell me right now why there's a human female under me and so help me, Sides, if you make the lewd comment that I'm sure you're processing, I will hurt you…"

Somebody up there, and I didn't mean the alien I was camping under, was having a good laugh at my expense, I decided.

l=lVl=l
l=l l=l
\l H l/
AUTOBOTS

vs.

l\ .M. /l
\l=V=l/
l\lVl/l
DECEPTICONS