Disclaimer: Wide Spread Panic doesn't own The Transformers, of course. Nor does she own any of the businesses or items mentioned within. As for the people, you know who you are and who owns who and I promise to put you back with a minimum of mental scarring when I'm done playing. This is but a work of fiction…
Author's Note: Sorry for the lapse in updates, I got preoccupied with a side project. I've started making Transformers plushies, because they amuse me. XD
Ch8: Prisoners of Idiocy
Yeah, someone up there was laughing their ass off. I just knew it.
Still, I wasn't coming out from under the Hummer-that-was-really-an-alien willingly. There were men with guns out there after all and I was very inclined to avoid them. I'm allergic to being shot at.
Unfortunately for me, the silver Corvette parked on the other side of the Hummer, who was apparently named Sideswipe, decided he just had to say something, threat of punishment regardless. I saw the Corvette wiggle a little closer, an interesting maneuver involving rocking on its wheels. "I'm hurt Ratchet," purred a deep, masculine voice. "I'll have you know I'm not the least bit xenophobic and I'm very happy for you. After all, for someone your age to snag a partner is an accomplishment in of itself. And besides," the alien continued as I struggled to comprehend what it was talking about, "maybe if you get some every now and then, you won't be so bit-"
That was apparently the limit of the Hummer's patience. Its engine roared, drowning out the rest of the Corvette's speech and a door slammed open, swinging into the side of the Corvette hard. I was instantly scrambling on all fours, my only goal finding some place sane, far from 'giant alien cars robot things' and 'trigger happy people with guns.' I didn't even make it out from under the Hummer, before I heard the sound. That wild almost musical sound of metal dancing across metal, shifting and rearranging. Then a hand bigger than me slammed down on the concrete floor about a foot from my head.
I didn't need a whole lot more motivating than that. I stumbled to my feet, lurching in a direction that seemed to be occupied by the smallest number of 'trigger happy people with guns.' I was a streak-a blur of motion, darting and twisting to avoid aliens and military alike. I didn't make it all that far. To be honest, I ran about two feet before something nabbed me by a leg and I found myself dangling upside down. Again. I seemed to end up dangling upside down by a leg a lot lately. At this point, my brain (far past the scoff-able point of mere hysteria) wondered inanely what it would cost to print a shirt with the words "This Side Up" and an arrow on it.
The Hummer, now transformed into yet another giant robot to my immense delight, was alternating between glowering at me and glowering at the Corvette. I resorted to my last, and pathetically only line of defense: I proceeded to scream as if I was being slowly and bloodily murdered.
"Oh, for Primus' sake, mute it. I'm not hurting you," the Hummer grumbled. Far from being comforting, his tone combined with the snarling expression made me realize new extremes in shrillness.
The Corvette was cackling. At least, I was fairly sure the sound was coming from the Corvette, it was shaking anyway. It was hard to tell over the shrill sound of my own continuous screams and the angry snarling comments from the Hummer.
"What is going on here?"
The new voice shut me up. Loud doesn't quite do it justice. The words weren't yelled, it was just that this voice commanded obedience. Like some animalistic instinct buried deep in my brain like a half-remembered memory sat up and took notice. It said, 'shut up and run away.'I stopped screaming.
There was another alien present. An alien bigger than any I'd seen so far. This one wasn't one you could ignore. When he spoke, you listened-I grasped that immediately. He was red and blue predominantly and seemed to sigh slightly, shoulders hunching in a very human way as he took in the scene before him. No one said a word or made a single move.
And then Dagny and Kayleigh in sync, pointed and yelled, "They did it!"
The whole room turned to look at what they were pointing at. I craned my neck from my still upside down position. Skids and Mudflap froze, caught in the midst of slinking out of the room as subtly as possible. A large black alien stepped in front of them, cutting off their escape. On his forearms, panels rearranged to reveal very unpleasant looking cannons.
"Oh, shit," Skids hissed as the black alien grinned down at them, his cannons whirring.
Handcuffs aren't really comfortable, but I guess that's the point. Me, Kayleigh and Dagny had been unceremoniously rounded up, handcuffed, and thrown in a large concrete room. There was only a door, no windows or fixtures of any kind. We sat facing each other, against different walls. Kayleigh and Dagny were arguing.
I was focused on far more important matters. Not crying like a baby for one and figuring out a way to get out of this mess unscathed for another. I leaned my head against my knees and struggled against the cuffs for all the good it would do me.
"They can't just do this to me, I got rights! I pay my taxes!" Dagny was snarling, looking furious.
"Hey, people disappear all the time," Kayleigh countered, shrugging as best she could. "They gotta think about Homeland Security and all that jazz, anyway."
I'm double-jointed and fairly flexible. As I listened to them yelling at each other from opposite sides of the room, I twisted and thrashed against the handcuffs. Ow, ow, ow.
"The hell are we a threat to them?!" Dagny looked nearly rabid.
"We know stuff," Kayleigh retorted, making her eyes big.
"They can take their damn cover-ups and conspiracies and shove 'em—"
"We'll just disappear. Never to be heard from again," Kayleigh interrupted and she proceeded to start humming the X-Files theme.
I gritted my teeth, felt my thumb go a way that, even though I couldn't see it behind my back, I was sure it wasn't supposed to go. I cussed under my breath and kept right on wriggling my hand, feeling metal bite into my skin as I squeezed my hand loose. Ow. There was going to be bruising and cuts, but I was already bruised and cut, so what was one more?
"They can't do that!"
"They can, they will, and they've done it before," Kayleigh said in a sing-song tone. "Dooooom."
My hand popped free and I instantly brought it to my mouth with a whimper of pain, nursing a scrape.
The other two shut up and stared. I gingerly removed my hand from my mouth and stood up. I looked around. I'd been so preoccupied with freeing my hands, I hadn't thought of another course of action for when I did. The room we were in was solid with just the one door. I felt better with my hands freed though. A tiny part of my mind grinned in self-satisfaction at the pitiful rebellious gesture.
"Hey, how'd ya do that?" Dagny demanded, scowling over at me.
I rubbed my hand and glared at her. "Just did," I muttered back, chin tipping up slightly in defiance. It was nice to delude myself that I had control over something.
The door opened then and a new alien stood in the doorway, this one blue. Behind him, a group of military personnel with weapons at the ready. And I was standing in the middle of the room, my hands free. One of the men twitched his gun up to point at me.
I sighed and held up both hands compliantly, the handcuffs dangling from my left wrist. This nightmare would never end.
We were marched down a long corridor and into a huge room. We were left there, but we weren't alone. The giant blue and red alien was there and so was the man called Lennox. He was standing with his arms crossed, a couple of feet away from the towering robot's leg. He gave us a once over and didn't look all that impressed. I didn't blame him. We weren't that intimidating.
"So," the man said, eyeing us.
"Ah ain't afraid of ya," Dagny barked suddenly, her hands fisted behind her back still in cuffs and despite her bravado, she was shaking like a leaf. "And ah swear to God that if ya kill me an' hide the body, ah'll haunt your miserable asses for the rest of eternity!"
Lennox's face contorted, his expression flickering from surprise to disgust before finally settling on amusement and he started laughing as she flushed and glowered. He clapped a hand over his mouth, fighting to stifle the wild laughter and turned his back to us, his shoulders shaking silently.
"Thank you for clarifying that," boomed, the alien and even though his face was hidden by a face-plate, I'd have sworn he was smiling at our expense. "I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots. I mean you no harm—"
"Bull," Dagny snarled, making the soldier wince, but the alien-this Optimus Prime, chose to tactfully ignore the comment.
"But I must wonder why or rather, how you three came to be here. This location is highly restricted." He commented.
"The gangsta-aliens… sort of kidnapped us," Kayleigh offered. "So blame them. We're just the innocent victims here. They did it."
Lennox snorted at the 'innocent' comment and looked doubtful. Kayleigh conspired to look righteously indignant.
I gathered my courage and cleared my throat a little sorely. "Can I go home? Please?" I winced at the scratchy, strained sound of my own voice. I stared tiredly from Lennox to Optimus Prime with my most pitiful expression. It wasn't hard to look pitiful when you're bruised, cut up, and shaggy looking in dirty clothes.
Optimus reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose, or what would have been the bridge of his nose if he was human anyway. "You'll stay here for the time being until we decide what to do about you," he said in a tone that brooked no argument.
That didn't stop the other two from trying, though. I decided then and there that their self-preservation instincts were either fatally flawed or downright missing.
"I've got drill this weekend and—"
"Ah've gotta job, ya can't just hold us here like—"
"—do the words 'dishonorable discharge' mean anything to—"
"—show up for work, my bills don't get paid! Ya want me to lose my—"
I held up a hand to get Optimus' attention as my two companions fussed. "We stay here… we get a place to rest? A bed? A real bed? And a shower?" My brain had latched onto the only possible glimmer of hope in this hopeless situation.
Kayleigh and Dagny hesitated in their tirades.
Optimus glanced down at Lennox who nodded quickly, probably eager to find on anything that would keep the other two quiet. "We've got spare rooms in the personnel quarters," he said.
I nodded slowly. "Permission to be led away and locked up in room with a bed and a shower, boss-man?" I asked, grinning stupidly.
Kayleigh snorted.
Lennox just slowly shook his head. Maybe he'd seen the movie I was referencing, I didn't know. I didn't care. "This is going to end badly," he muttered, nearly too low for me to hear. I did hear, though and I agreed with him.
Right before they led us away, another man in khaki fatigues came in and traded out our handcuffs for a different fashion accessory. They were heavy silver discs about as large as the bottom of a coke can and only a couple of inches thick; they were attached to our wrists via a thick black plastic-looking material. The man had looked at skeptically, as though remembering how easily I'd slipped out of the handcuffs and had cinched mine just a little tighter.
"Trackers. You won't be confined to quarters, but you do not have full access to the base. Don't try to run off, you won't get far, this is an island," Lennox explained, crossing his arms. "And don't try to remove those. You cut through the strap and you get a low-voltage corrective shock. Keep attempting to cut through it and the voltage gets upped." He smiled then; it wasn't all that nice a smile either.