Author's Note: Again, this story begins sometime after "Sex, Lies, and Videotape", but I will take it wherever, not necessarily following the traditional timeline.

(So you don't know what will happen to our beloved characters next.)

Warning: Mild profanity - more than what is usual for my stories

Chapter 2: Guilt upon Guilt

She couldn't sleep that night, lying next to Fred. The guilt plagued her.

How could she have been so cruel? Her words haunted her.

"What – you gonna hit me, Bos?"

It was about the lowest blow she could deal him. Bad enough that if he never spoke to her again, she'd feel like she deserved it.

She turned to stare at her sleeping husband, and the tears started again. The trouble was that Bosco was right. She was married to a good man. He wasn't perfect, but he loved her and loved their kids. She was ungrateful, and Bosco made her see it. So she wounded him. And he'd just taken it.

She silently vowed to do everything in her power to make it right.

The next morning she was surprised in roll call to learn that Bosco hadn't requested a different partner - that's what he usually did when he was angry with her.

She knew why, too. It was self-protection. He didn't want to be angry with her and have things go bad on a call.

But today he was going to ride with her. Maybe things weren't as bad between them as she'd feared.

Once in the RMP, she tried to apologize.

"Bosco, about last night…."

"I don't want to talk about it, Faith."

"But Bos…."

"Look, I know you feel guilty. Let's just forget about it."

He wouldn't look at her, and she had a sinking feeling that he was lumping her in with all the people in his life who'd hurt him with their words and then later apologized, but only to ease their own guilt.

Bosco knew the score – that's why he pissed so many people off. He didn't play games. You always knew where you stood with Bosco – it was one of the few stable aspects of his personality.

And right now Faith could tell that he didn't think she was really sorry. As if she was just apologizing to get things back to normal for her own sake. It hurt, but she couldn't blame him.

She'd have to earn his trust again, and that would take awhile.

Halfway into their shift, Faith's radio crackled. "55-David, you're being requested by 55-Charlie to respond to a domestic disturbance at 43 and 108th."

"They need backup for a domestic?" Bosco exclaimed incredulously.

"Yeah, but that's like ten minutes away – why are they requesting us?" Faith shook her head, her brow furrowing in confusion.

"Central, we are nowhere near that location; you'll have to request another squad." Faith called into the radio clipped to her shoulder.

"Negative 55-David, you were specifically requested by officers on scene."

She and Bosco shared a worried look. Anything out of the ordinary on this job usually turned out bad. This was definitely out of the ordinary.

"Central, show 55-David en-route."

They arrived on scene to see Sully standing on the curb next to 55-Charlie.

"Sully, what's going on? We were halfway across town!" Faith exclaimed as she stepped out of the RMP.

Sully didn't respond, looking instead at her partner. "Bosco."

"What? This had better be good, Sullivan."

"Bosco, we think you know the people involved in this domestic. That's why we called you in."

Bosco stared at the older man in confusion, a knot growing in his stomach. "What?"

"Is your father Anthony Boscorelli?"

Immediately Bosco's eyes narrowed into slits. "Yeah – that lowlife bastard involved in this?"

"He nearly beat a woman to death in his apartment. One of the neighbors called it in. He was drunk when we got here. Tried telling us that his son was a cop to get out of being arrested."

Bosco snorted in disgust. "Sounds like he hasn't changed much. You shouldn't have called me. I don't want nothing to do with him."

The younger officer turned to start walking away, but Sully called him back. "Bosco, that's not why we called you."

"What?" Bosco turned back impatiently.

Sully sighed, his voice tinged with regret. "The woman he beat up – it's Angela Rose Boscorelli."

Faith watched her partner's face turn to stone.

"What?" He whispered, disbelief in eyes.

"I'm sorry, man. They're upstairs working on her now."

It was then Bosco noticed the ambulance sitting out front next to the curb.

Fear gripped him, and he bolted through the doors of the building before either officer could grab him.

"How bad is it, Sul?" Faith asked softly.

Sully shook his head. "It's bad."

She sighed before turning to chase after her partner.

He didn't know what apartment it happened in. Hell, he didn't know what his mother would be doing here, at her ex-husband's apartment.

He ran on instinct, blindly stumbling down hallways until he found an open door.

There, in the middle of the room, Doc and Carlos were performing CPR on his unmoving mother.

Across the room, Davis stood next to his cuffed and obviously drunk father.

It was like his childhood all over again, only worse. Because he knew that the paramedics doing CPR meant it was serious.

"Oh my god…mom?" His voice was strangled as he fell on his knees next to Carlos.

"Mom?" He called again, desperately. "What wrong with her?"

"Bosco! Damn it, you need to let us work!" Carlos protested, shoving him back.

Suddenly arms were pulling him up from the floor. "Bosco, come on, let them work."

It was Faith. He shrugged her off.

Breathing heavily, his eyes suddenly fixed the man on the other side of the room with a look of murderous rage.

Davis saw it, holding a hand out as warning.

"Bosco, don't—"

Too late. The young officer was on the man in the blink of an eye, arms swinging wildly.

"You son of a bitch! You son of a bitch!" He raged, laying into the older man with fists of fury.

He vaguely heard shouting, felt hands grabbing at his coat, his arms. But he had tunnel vision, and all he could see was the man being pummeled under his fists.

Someone finally got a good grip on him, and he was suddenly screaming incoherently, consumed with a lifetime of rage and pain. He was completely out of control, kicking out with his feet, struggling violently to get free.

"Bosco, you need to calm the hell down!" Sully managed to yell over him. The older officer had Bosco's arms locked up in a nelson grip, and Davis had a hand on his heaving chest, standing between him and the man who'd beat his mother.

Faith stood next to his fallen mother, staring at him from across the room with such empathy that he had to look away. She had tears running down her cheeks.

He looked down at his where his mother lay, still being stabilized by the medics, and nearly went limp in Sully's arms. All the fight left him as he realized the reality of the situation.

"If you killed her…if she dies…." He said breathlessly, glaring at the man he hated.

That's when he heard the man chuckling.

"Maurice, you always were a pussy," the senior Boscorelli spat, his mouth full of blood.

"Davis, get him out of here!" Sully yelled angrily as Bosco tried unsuccessfully to lunge out of his grip.

"Bet you've been waiting years to get the drop on me, huh? Like father like son," the man sneered, deliberately struggling with Davis so he could stay and egg on his son.

"Shut up," Davis warned shoving the older man into the wall. "If you know what's good for you, you'll shut up!"

It didn't even phase the man.

"You're a big tough cop now, huh? Did you tell them, Maurice? Did you tell them how you used to cry like a baby? Do they know that you're afraid of the dark? Huh?"

Bosco suddenly seemed to wilt in Sully's arms, sinking to floor.

It was then that Faith stepped in.

As hard as she could, she kneed the elder Boscorelli in the groin, causing him to howl with pain. Yanking him from Davis' grasp, she leaned close to his ear, pronouncing every word with effort, barely holding her disgust in check.

"Anthony Boscorelli, you are being charged with assault, battery, and resisting arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you can't afford one, one will be provided for you by the state. Do you understand your rights, you sick son of a bitch?"

He nodded, too in pain to answer verbally. "Good. Davis, get this trash out of here."

She went to stand by her partner, whom Sully had finally let go of. He was knelt on the floor, hands on his knees, hunched over and gasping for breath.

Hesitantly, she placed a hand on his back.

"Is she gonna be alright?" She asked Doc as they prepared to move Bosco's mother.

The paramedic shot a sympathetic glance at her partner. "I don't know."

As they sat in the hospital's waiting room, Faith tried to get her partner to talk.

"How's your hand?"

He ignored her.

"You should really have somebody look at that."

Silence.

"That was pretty crazy, huh?" She tried again, swallowing.

Nothing. She gave up.

When he finally spoke some time later, his voice was so soft she almost missed it.

"I wish he was dead."

She sighed, moving to sit closer to him. "I'm sorry, Bos."

"Does Fred hit you?"

She froze, stunned by his words and the sudden shift in conversation topic.

"What?"

"Does he hit you?" He didn't make eye contact, just stared at the floor.

"No. He doesn't. And he never has. He's not that kind of man."

"See with my old man…he was always a violent drunk." Bosco said, eyes distant.

"He never hit me. Not even drunk. He's never laid a hand on me or the kids," she assured him.

"If you want to leave him…if you're that unhappy…then you gotta do what you gotta to do. I'm not anyone who should be telling you whether to stay or not."

"Bosco, I'm sorry about what I said. I was wrong."

He continued as if he didn't hear her. "Problem is that I think anybody who's better than my old man is a saint. But he's jag-off, so…that's not saying much."

"No Bos, you read people pretty good – it's what makes you a good cop."

Her compliment fell on deaf ears.

He was lost somewhere inside of himself, not seeing her or the hospital walls.

"I used to want my mom to stay with him. I'd tell her to give him another chance...get mad at her whenever she kicked him out. And then...I used to let him in my bedroom window, thinking every time that'd it be different. But he'd always push past me to get to her. Sometimes...sometimes I think if I hadn't pushed so hard for them to stay together, he wouldn't have beat her so much. 'Cause she would've left."

"You were just a kid," Faith said softly.

"But I never learned my lesson, did I?" he replied, referring to their earlier conversation.

"No Bos, listen to me - I was wrong. Fred is a good man. You helped me see that."

He shook his head, looking down at his hands.

"Why'd she go back to him?" He said, changing the conversation again. "Why'd she go back to that bastard?"

Faith sniffed, trying to be strong for her broken partner. "I don't know, Bos. I wish I knew. Maybe…maybe she's just lonely."

He nods, absently. "I don't know what I'd do without her."

"Hey. Don't think like that – you don't' know what's going to happen."

He shot her pointed look.

"You saw her. It looked bad."

She didn't know what to say to that. Her mouth was dry with regret, wishing she'd never plagued him with yesterday's conversation. Wishing today had never happened.

Her heart ached for her partner.

The hours ticked passed, and her partner had finally fallen into a restless doze in the chair next to her.

She watched him as he slept, trying to imagine what he looked like as a little boy.

She couldn't fathom growing up with such an evil man as Anthony Boscorelli – and the things he'd said to her partner – she couldn't imagine growing up with that.

A memory surfaced, something Bosco had said to her not too long ago.

They'd been called to the scene of a woman threatening to jump off a building. They – well, she – hadn't been able to talk her down. Later in the RMP she'd mused about how someone could get so "damaged," and Bosco had responded in his usually callous way, saying, "she should take a number." Faith just shot him a glare and said, "Oh what, you're damaged?" sarcastically.

But he was, whether he wanted to admit it or not. He was damaged. And she always wanted to fix him. It was a game that never got old – a tune neither of them was fully aware they were dancing to.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Davis' quiet voice. "How's he doing?"

She hadn't even heard Davis and Sully enter the room.

"About as well as can be expected," she replied, keeping her voice down.

"It's a shame," Sully commented, staring down at Bosco sympathetically. "It's a damn shame."

"How's his mom doing?" Davis asked.

"We don't know anything yet," said Faith. "Listen guys…thanks for coming. And thanks, you know…for what you did back there at the scene."

"Yeah," Sully grunted. "What a mess that was, huh?"

They stopped talking when Bosco suddenly shifted, sitting up straighter in his seat and rubbing his face with his hands.

"Doctor come yet?" He asked, his voice rough and slurred from sleep.

"No, not yet," Faith answered quickly.

Bosco looked up at Sully and Davis. "What're you two doing here?"

"Thought we'd stop by and see how you were doing. Plus we need to follow up on what happened to your mom for the report, you know…." Davis answered, trailing off at the end and looking guiltily down at the floor.

"We're really sorry about what happened, Bosco. If there's anything we can do…." Sully began.

"Nothing you can do," Bosco said firmly, shaking his head. He didn't want their pity.

Suddenly all heads swiveled to the doorway, where a doctor had finally come to give them the news.

"Family for Angela Boscorelli?"

"Rose…she goes by Rose," Bosco quickly corrected, rising to his feet.

The doctor smiled faintly. "Rose it is. Uhm…would you like to talk someplace more private?"

Bosco shifted his weight to the other foot nervously. He was too superstitious…his mind gripped with the sudden, irrational thought that the doctor couldn't give him bad news in a more public place like this, in front of his friends.

"No, anything you got to say, just say it."

The doctor began speaking, but Bosco zoned out through the talk about multiple rib fractures, punctured lungs, and a concussion.

"Thankfully none of those injuries are life-threatening," the doctor said.

"So…she's gonna be okay?" Bosco asked, hating how his voice sounded so timid.

"Well, unfortunately your mother has an underlying medical condition that has been causing problems. Were you aware that she has Coronary Heart Disease?"

"What?" Bosco stared at the doctor in disbelief.

"Your mother suffered a heart attack, we think in connection to the beating she sustained, but it was really only a matter of time. We ran some tests, the results of which show she is in the advanced stages of the disease."

"What are you saying?"

"Your mother's heart is failing her. It has been for a long time. And in her weakened condition…"

Bosco suddenly had a hold of the front of the doctor's coat, pressing him up against the wall.

"What, are you saying she's dying?" He hissed, his desperate, enraged face inches from the doctor's.

"Bosco, get off!" It was the second time that day Sully and Davis had to pull him off of someone.

The doctor, to his credit, seemed unruffled by the outburst.

He sighed. "We don't expect her to make it through the night. We've made her comfortable. That's all we can do at this point. She's in room 12. I'm sorry." And with that, he left them.

Bosco felt numb. The world was collapsing around him like a house of cards. Vaguely, he heard Faith call his name, felt her hand on his arm.

"Stupid doctors," he said finally, turning to look at his friends. "What do they know, huh? That jag-off doesn't know anything. She's…she's gonna be fine."

"Bosco…." Sully said, shaking his head sadly and suddenly finding great interest in the floor.

"What? She's gonna be fine!"

Faith tearfully reached out for him, but he pulled away violently. "Come on, Faith! She's gonna be fine, alright? She's…she's…."

Suddenly, he couldn't lie to himself anymore.

Turning quickly to hide the burning tears, he grabbed the arms of a nearby chair for support. Hunched over, he began to hyperventilate with the effort to hold back his emotions, unable to control the gasping sounds his body made.

Faith quickly moved in front of him, reaching out for his face. "Bos…Oh, Bos…."

Slowly, hesitantly, she put her arms around him. Blindly, he latched onto her jacket, holding on for dear life, a few tears falling silently onto her shoulder.

"S-she's gotta be alright, Faith. She's gotta be alright..." he mumbled, sounding dazed.

"Shhhh…it's gonna be okay, Bos. It's gonna be alright."

She glanced up at the two other officers still standing in the room, trying awkwardly not to stare. Bosco wouldn't want them to see him like this.

Sully immediately read the message in her eyes, and he and Davis left the room quickly, almost soundlessly.

Faith rocked Bosco like she would one of her children, wishing she could take away the pain that now consumed him.

After a few minutes, his breathing calmed, and he pushed away from her.

"I gotta see her, Faith…I gotta see her," he whispered, roughly wiping his face on his sleeve.

"Okay. You want me to go with you?" Faith asked.

He wouldn't meet her eyes, just nodded.

She kept a hand on his arm as they walked down the hall to room 12. He stopped outside the door, almost afraid to go in.

"Faith what if she's already…I don't want to see her…I don't want to see her when she…."

He was afraid to watch his mother die. She couldn't blame him.

"You want me to come in with you?" She asked.

He stilled abruptly, reaching for the door handle, and she took his silence as acceptance, quietly following him into the room.

A nurse was inside fiddling with machines, and gave them a small, sad smile.

"She doesn't have long," she whispered before leaving. "You can go ahead and say goodbye."

Bosco looked to be in a daze as he slumped into the chair next to his mother's bed.

Her face was lined and covered with bruises, but she looked peaceful enough.

Choking back tears, Bosco reached for her hand. His eyes never left her face, memorizing every angle, every wrinkle.

"Ma..." He swallowed, desperately trying to compose himself. "Ma…I'm here. I'm here."

Words seemed to escape him. What should he say?

He sat quietly for a few moments, stroking her hand. If only she would wake up, he could tell her how sorry he was...

"Ma…I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry...I couldn't protect you from him. Ma…please don't leave me," he whispered urgently, leaning close to her body, willing her to open her eyes, to be okay.

He heard a sniffle behind him, and knew Faith was crying.

He tried again, hoping in vain that she would open her eyes. "I love you, Ma. Please wake up. Just…just open your eyes, okay, Ma? Please? Don't leave me."

He laid his head down on her arm, reaching a hand up to rest on the side of her head. He watched her for what seemed like hours, allowing himself to believe she was only sleeping, letting the steady whooshes and beeps of the machinery calm his anxiety.

In his grief he hardly registered the sudden change in the room, but suddenly monitors were blaring and nurses were rushing in to check vitals.

He jerked away from the bed, wide-eyed and pale.

Faith put a hand his shoulder just as one nurse looked up at the clock. "She's gone. Log the time."

Bosco stared. "What's…what's that mean…is she…?"

"I'm sorry. She's passed," the nurse said quietly as another began unhooking machines.

Bosco let out a long breath, nodding in resignation.

"Bos…are you okay?" Faith asked, her voice wavering with tears.

He didn't acknowledge her, just stood and walked out of the room.

He stood out in the hallway for a few moments, before picking up a nearby chair and throwing it into a wall. It was too well-built to break, and it left him unsatisfied.

In a vain attempt to calm himself, he put both hands on his head and tugged at his hair. It was no use. There was only one thing left to do.

Nurses and doctors came running to investigate the commotion, but he brushed past them all.

"Bosco!" Faith was running after him.

"Where is he? Where is he, Davis?" He screamed at the officer who'd been standing near the reception desk, grabbing him roughly by the jacket.

"He's in a cell back at the house!" Davis shouted back. Roughly Bosco released him, stalking toward the exit.

"Look, if you're going back there, one of us is driving!" Davis called after him.

Bosco didn't object. "I'll be in the RMP," he replied, walking out the bay doors.

"I don't like this," Sully muttered as Faith caught up to them. "He's too unstable."

"What, do you think he'd do something stupid?" Davis asked.

"Hell, wouldn't you?" was Sully's response.

They both looked at Faith, who looked a little lost. "I don't know, guys. I don't know anymore."

If Bosco was out for blood, she didn't know if she had the heart to stop him this time.

TBC….

A/N: Reviews please!