Thank you for the feedback! It's greatly appreciated. I know I've made you wait but it's still one week until holidays. So I'll try to keep this story going, this chapter came from nowhere, just like all of my inspiration does. I actually wrote a whole chapter then scrapped it and wrote this. Don't worry, this one is a LOT better. (I hope). Keep up the inspiring reviews :)
"Alice, it'd be stupid to think no one just heard that, do you really expect me to just leave? Alone? You can't act like this is completely my fault." And there was the scary side of Alice, glaring dangerously at me.
"Well, I started it.. but.. it's not like you stopped it." I struggled for the right words, but there wasn't anything right about the situation.
"Okay, obviously we can't deny it, and I'm not going to be those people who go around ignoring each other because it's too awkward to address whatever happened." But her face seemed blank, and most of all, her eyes were unreadable. She couldn't even look at me.
"Ugh, fine. It's all my fault, you hated it. I don't even care if anyone knows because obviously it was nothing." There she was again. Her golden eyes boring into my own glistening with tears that would never fall.
"So you just used me?"
"Well when you put it like that.." Had I used her? "No- I- well, I would never hurt you-"
"But you'd just practically rape me out of nowhere for the pleasure of it." Her voice slightly raised as tensions rose.
"Last time I checked it isn't rape when the victim demands for you to fuck them." Awkward.
"After you made me-"
"Made you?" We were both standing now, although keeping our distance.
"You're acting like you had no say in it. You could have said no at any point."
"Before or after you pinned my arms above my head?"
"Aw, but you looked so cute and helpless." I taunted. If she wanted to play dirty, so would I.
"Shut up!"
"It's okay, most can't resist my charm." She scoffed at my mock arrogance, folding her arms in disbelief.
"You're so cute when you're angry."
"You're so annoying when you're- you."
"Good one."
"Thanks."
"You so liked it." I suppressed my laughter as she looked at me, more awe-struck than before. What can I say? I'm a shit stirrer.
"Aww, that's cute. You two should go out." It was only a matter of time.
"Piss of Rose." Alice spat.
"Now, now. No need to be rude." I didn't like her tone. That was the tone that meant she was up to something. She sashayed into the room, every move she made was like an extravagant show. She sat down on the bed, elegantly crossing one leg over the other.
"Well?" I asked, impatient with her mind games.
"I know what you two did."
"Do you want a medal?" She glared back at me. But I didn't care, she had no reason to rub this in our face.
"Well, I'm sure you'd like to know that I'm the only one who knows."
"How?" Alice managed before me.
"You should really be thanking me. Lets just assume that I knew something would happen tonight in which case I convinced everyone to go out."
"That seems a bit extreme. Even for you." I spoke.
"Well not when you think about the benefits." Both Alice and I didn't like the sound of that. It was clear on our faces, as was Rosalie's smug smile.
"You'll know them when I want them to be known. For now, all you need to know is that no one else knows."
"I know that you need a hobby."
"This is my hobby. Now, politely excuse me from your room." Alice's eyes widened and she looked repulsed. Like she'd seen something particularly disgusting.
"Please leave the fucking room or I'll kick your sorry ass."
"I bet Edward would love to know what you two did." Oh, blackmail. That's how it was going to be.
"I'd rather the whole world masturbate to an Alice/Bella sex tape than to ever be your fucking slave."
"Oh, cool. Make it while I go tell him." She got up to leave, but as she did Alice's' eyes begged my own to stop her. Was I supposed to resist?
"Wait." I couldn't keep the shame out of my voice as the blonde turned to face me expectantly with her arms folded.
"Rosalie, this isn't a game. People will get hurt, so could you please, please just be considerate for once and keep your mouth shut? It was a mistake, and neither of us want to hurt Jasper or Edward." I tried to plead her further with my eyes but knowing full well that that wouldn't work I waited nervously for her response.
"For however long it stays a mistake I'll keep my mouth shut." And with that comment she slammed the door behind her on the way out. But I was more preoccupied with what her words meant. For however long it stays a mistake. Echoed in my head. But I had no choice but to believe it was a mistake, because it was. I was marrying Edward and that's how it was going to be.
I couldn't stand being around her any longer, for some reason it pained me the longer I was there in her presence.
"I'm sorry." I said, not bothering to look at her as her sad expression would only make me feel worse.
"Me too." She small voice spoke after a while.
"Lets just pretend this never happened, there's too much at stake." My voice shook as I stared at the carpet. "Things can just be as they were, we can still be best friends, right?" I made the mistake of looking up.
Her expression screamed no, that won't work at all. But her sad voice muttered an unconvincing yes.
"Cool, well. Yeah.." I turned to leave, and she didn't stop me.
Sometimes the things that don't happen at all are the most hurtful.
Because when I opened the door to leave, I was leaving that chapter behind, never to be mentioned again, and when the door closed, I shut my eyes and when they opened it was back to the past. It had never happened, but something told me I wouldn't be forgetting it for a long time.
Everyone got home not too soon after that. I didn't even ask where they had been, I didn't think I could even face Edward.
"Bella?" I heard him call as I now sat alone in his, or our room. I couldn't reply.
It wasn't long until he found me, meaning a matter of seconds.
"Is something wrong?" He came and sat next to me.
"No, why?" I answered almost too quickly.
"I can't read your mind, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid." Read this smart ass, go the hell away.
But of course he didn't.
"It's nothing. Can't you just lay off for once?" I stood up to move away from him. The proximity made me feel guilty. This wasn't going to be easy.
"It's okay to feel this way, most newborns go through rapid mood change." Oh if only he knew.
"Exactly. It's nothing." And then there was a very long silence, you could cut the air with a knife.
It was rare we fought over something so trivial, and when we did it usually meant things were worse because there was no reason for the fight. It had been this was ever since he proposed the day before he changed me.
"I booked dinner for us tonight, I thought we could use the time to just relax and spend some time together." Oh yes, that's right, speak in that suave voice to seduce me into letting you persuade me.
"I don't feel like going out Edward, remember, blood lust, humans, newborn. They don't really go hand in hand." He smirked. I despised it. Is is clear by now that I despise smug attitudes?
"Yes, that is true. Okay, I'll think of something better."
"No, Edward. I don't have the energy." Obviously I did, but not for him.
"What if we have a movie night? All of us? Then we can stay here, it doesn't just have to be us alone and you can get your mind off things." I was almost to stubborn to answer, but I slowly turned to look at his begging eyes. They were nothing like Alice's'.
"Fine." He beamed. It was charming, but I couldn't admire it like I used to. It was all different now.
Hours passed, I got no older. Waiting for the inevitable 'movie night.' As I stayed a good distance from watching eyes and certain dangerous pixies. I ignored the constant nothingness I felt, as I could do no more to stop it, until dawn broke and the skies turned dark to unite with my heart of black.
When the time was fit I stood to my feet, sighing and unneeded breath to rid of the looming events ahead. I imagined the eyes, all three sets, Rosalie, Alice and Edward, watching me like an untrained dog. This would not only be unenjoyable, but uncomfortable beyond doubt.
Upon my last step, emerging from the staircase I peered cautiously into the crowd. Each Cullen sat and lay in their rightful positions. Rosalie and Emmett, curled together in a one-man fold out lounge; Carlisle and Esme, sitting beside one another on a three-man lounge situated in the middle of the room, and then to the left the sight that struck the hardest. A fragile, raven haired beauty laying her delicate head against the cold chest of her mate who clutched his arms around her protectively. His muscled flexed, and then I realised why. Jaspers eyes met my own as after what must have been too long that I'd looked at his wife. What was worse was that he could sense emotions, and what I'd just felt wasn't friendly.
I played it off with an innocent smile and walked over to my own fiance in which the whole time Jaspers eyes remained upon me, glaring. This is what I meant by uncomfortable.
"Hey." Edward whispered lovingly as I reluctantly fell into his embrace.
He'd set out a blanket and pillows, seemingly romantic attempts, unseen due to my tribulations.
"So what first?" He projected to the whole family.
"I think Bella should choose." Esme spoke first, in a warm tone that would always make me feel loved.
I looked down at the assortment of DVD's. I didn't much care, I picked up the first I saw and handed it to Edward.
"Moulin Rouge?" He asked in disbelief.
"Ughhhhh!" Emmett grunted in annoyance.
"Hey!" Rosalie smacked him playfully. "I like it." He folded his arms in a childlike manner.
It's not like I even knew what I'd picked. I hadn't even seen it before, but now that I looked more closely at the cover my regrets kicked in.
From the Director of Shakespeares, Romeo and Juliet.
Great, this wouldn't happen to be ironic at all.
Ten minutes in I didn't know whether to be scared or to just accept the bizarre events of the film. A writer obsessed with love, retelling the story of the events leading up to his loves death. I picked a happy one.
As an awkward scene played out, of the Courtesan, Satine rolling around moaning for Christians 'dirty words' I had to look away. I looked to Alice, who sensed me immediately and looked back at me. Her eyes even glistened in the dark.
She lay to the left of me, not but a metre away. I had an urge to be laying in her petite arms, rather than masculine arms that dug into my ribs. We had a silent conversation, a craving desire to do unspeakable things to each other. Again. I knew this because one look said a thousand words, I could feel it.
Yours are the sweetest eyes, I've ever seen. I heard the character sing. At this my lips twitched into a smile, how relevant. I stared further into her eyes, as if to say, bitch, your eyes are the fucking sweetest, I don't know what that guys going on about, he musnt have met you. But that seemed a little too specific to relay into one look.
For the remainder of the movie, I stole a glance or two at her beautifully illuminated face. A treasure of the night, a most beautiful ornament of creation, to say the very least. For a moment the darkness told not of nothingness, but became everything.
My black heart clenched with the constant reminder of a thing that could never be, a thing that shouldn't be. Why did I have to be Romeo? Or Christian? Alice was a delicate flower, untouchable and angelic. In comparison to her I felt worthless and unworthy. Jasper was that damn Duke, or Julietes father. Wanting the best for her, but unable to see her true beauty.
I watched as Satine died in Christians arms, a love that was never meant to be, but fought for until her dying breath. It was then I couldn't stand to be in his arms. I shifted from his embrace, causing some heads to turn in curiosity.
"Sorry, was just uncomfortable." I said, seeing the hurt on his face out of the corner of my eye. Then Alice's expression of annoyance at my blatant display of discomfort, although she knew it to be mental, not physical.
I didn't want this to be happening, I didn't want to be feeling this. Mere hours ago we agreed to end whatever happened and whatever emotions went with it. But I don't think we were honest about what underlying feelings may have formed, or maybe we were unaware, up until now.
I couldn't feel this though. It was just lust, at the most, and it had to stop. I simply admire her beauty, that's it. Envy perhaps. Not attraction.
I was about to excuse myself as the movie ended, but couldn't find a reason or the energy to bother. In the minutes of contemplating the next movie, I suddenly felt Alice shift towards me.
"Are you okay?" She whispered. I wished she didn't.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I answered. Although everyone knew those words were subtext for 'no, I'm not, but obviously I don't want you to think I'm not because that would mean I'd have to be honest.'
"Well you look unhappy. So I'm sitting with you through the next movie." Both Edward and Jasper hardly took this as unusual. We'd been close prior to our little occurrence, but they'd never know. Thank God Alice was better at controlling her thoughts than I was at controlling feelings.
She pulled a blanket over us as we sat against the lounge between Edward and Jasper. I felt a shock as our arms touched and knew this would be interesting.
"Let me choose!" Emmett boomed.
"Fine! But no Saw movies." Emmett rolled his eyes. "Fine, Paranormal Activity."
"Are you serious? That's so crap!" Rosalie exclaimed.
"Bella got to choose hers, Rose, it's only fair!" Before she could interject again he inserted the dvd. She huffed in annoyance.
"Don't worry, you've got me if you get scared." Then like a puppy she nuzzled into his chest again.
"I hate horror movies." Alice whispered.
"It's not even scary." I taunted her playfully. "Don't worry, I'll save you from the bad film making choices." This earned a giggle. I welled with pride, even puffing my chest slightly as Alice found her way closer into my body, her head resting on my shoulder.
How the hell was I supposed to concentrate on the movie now?
The movie started at a slow pace, but as it picked up I realised what a coincidental cliché it was to have Alice using me to shield her from the horrors on the screen. More like the horrors of the acting ability.
She clutched onto my arm, squeezing it tighter as the suspense heightened. With this my muscles clenched, it was overwhelming to have her so close, I began to feel things again, things I shouldn't. But I had to block them, if not from myself then at least from Jasper.
"Alice." I whispered too quietly for anyone else to hear.
Her fearful eyes met mine, and again I was captivated by her frightening beauty. My eyes indicated her hand, but I knew they pleaded for something unintended.
She looked confused, but I realised soon after that it was a vision.
"What was it?" She didn't seem phased by whatever it was.
"Nothing." She said calmly, removing her hand in reply to my indication.
I felt lonely after that. She continued to flinch and turn away, but she didn't use me as protection. I started to take back the plead for her to stop, because now my inner voice was pleading for more attention. Instinctively my hand found its way into hers, she flinched ever so slightly and pretending not to care, let our hands fall into place. I rested them on my lower abdomen and I felt a finger slowly begin to caress below my stomach.
I was sure she felt my body stiffen, from the momentary pause, until she quickly started again. She'd done things like this before, it was nothing weird. We'd always touch each other, it was just an aspect of our close friendship and how comfortable we felt together.
But never before had my body acted on its own accord. I felt a burning sensation much lower down, something highly inappropriate and wrong. But I would make the mistake of letting it be.
Her scent became unbearable again, prevalent on my mind with accumulating thoughts of lust that wouldn't stop taunting me. I became blind again. My mind yelled for her to stop, but my body ached for her to do more. It was almost like she was teasing me.
Our fingers untangled, and I let them. Just like I let her soft little fingers dance their way down to the waistband of my shorts. She wouldn't. How the fuck was she keeping this from Edward? I glanced up and saw her eyes blankly fixated on the screen, obviously using every bit of willpower to keep her mind on the screen. But it was clear even in the darkness that her eyes were now black.
My teeth clenched as her fingers etched under the waistband, but only the tiniest bit, before she pulled them back. I saw a tiny smirk form on her mischievous little face. What a fucking hypocrite.
Now I was angry with desire.
"Stop!" I ground through my teeth as quietly as I could.
"Don't dish it out if you can't take it." She breathed into my ear. My eyes closed as even stronger waves of pleasure elated my desire.
Her hand somehow made its way into my shorts. I bit down on my lip, trying with everything inside of me not to let my feelings consume me. The situation was too dangerous and that was only turning me on more.
Surely if Jasper couldn't sense my lust and Edward couldn't read Alice's mind then they could at least smell it from my pants.
She worked two fingers outside of my underwear, slowly caressing my slit. Embarrassingly enough I knew she could feel the wetness even from the outside. Her eagerness proved that as she pressed down with just enough force to cause electric shocks throughout my body.
I bit down harder. Concentrating on the movie, trying to feel fear more than the burning desire to be fucked. I didn't know how much longer either of us could contain it.
She began to rub. Fuck me dead. I would cum on the spot if she wasn't careful.
"Oh my.." I mouthed.. even if I had intended for words to come out they wouldn't have.
I dug my nails into her thigh, it was the only indicator of pleasure I had. I wanted her to stop, but at the same time it felt so good. The climax of the movie neared as my own did, everyone seemed too engrossed in the movie to notice something going on right under their noses.
Fire built, nearer and nearer. I needed more, my hips slightly rocked with her rubbing as it got faster and increased in pressure. I watched the movie, some girl had cut her throat and there was a flash. The movie had ended, and just as my own climax reached, the hand pulled away.
I looked, no, glared hatefully into her smug expression and knew it was definite. I hated smug attitudes.