HERE I COME BACK FROM THE DEA- OH, OH! HOLY CRAAAAP…*ahem* Anyway. I have risen from the bowels of the nether to bring you this nutritious meal of fanfiction! Chock-full of vitamin who-gives-a-crap™! This time, things are turning dark...or not.
One fine day, or not so fine as it was pouring outside, there was a commotion in the orphanage for geniuses known as Whammy's house. It just so happened that a certain red-headed, be-goggled, videogameophile had just purchased a new game, Brain Training (dear God, SAVE OUR SOULS!), and was plugging it into his DS for the very first time. Matt was all rainbows and puppy dawgs as he started the game. "okay, let's see here…," He mused out loud, "4."
He had answered the first question correctly.
"Aww yeeah!" His confidence was obvious.
"Ookay, next question…hmm…Orange….What? I said orange, dumb game!," Matt was growing more and more irritated,
"Orange, Goddammit! ORANGE! OOOOORRRRRAAAANNNGE! OR-ANGE! GAAAH, FUCK!" Red faced, and more pissed off than a chocolateless Mello, Matt spent several more minutes screaming orange bloody murder at the game in question, before he passed out from exhaustion.
Later that week, Mello was walking the halls of Whammy's, fuming with rage. Like always, Near had managed to piss him off by merely existing and, not having had Matt with him at the time, Mello could easily have exploded the heads off a good dozen babies with nothing but his rage. Storming down the hallways as always(heh), he came upon a door. The door in question was nothing special. However, the sounds coming from behind it, like a feral animal, were. Mello busted the door open, and descended into his and Matt's room. Unfortunately, he had forgotten to turn the light on, and he tripped on a particularly large pile of chocolate bars on his side of the room. Cursing like there was no tomorrow, Mello limped his way over to Matt's bed.
"MATT! MATT, YOU ASS-MUNCH, WAKE UP!" Mello screamed. Not a sound was heard from the bed. Now even more pissed(as if that was possible), Mello ripped the sheet off of his gamer friend. The sight that met Mello was horrifying. Matt, having not eaten, or showered in a week, was looking quite…ripe. He was laying on his side, facing the wall, in the fetal position, and clutching a rectangular object to his chest.
"Orange…orange…oooorraaanngeee…oorange…"Matt was chanting, over and over, while rocking himself.
"What in the fuck-damned hell?" Mello inquired rather tastefully. After Mello had fetched Roger, Matt got physical and psychological attention, and life had returned to normal. Well, more or less. After that ordeal, Matt had the accursed game crammed into a box in the far recesses of his, and Mello's, closet. That is, until several months later, Matt gave it as a birthday gift to a rather sheeply individual…
DUN DUN DUN! Well, there you have it, folks. I finally got around to updating this godforsaken cesspool of insanity. In addition to that, this is also the prequel to my one-shot "A Near perfect birthday," as requested by Ghostly Priestess Kikyo.
Review, fave, whatevs ~Insufferable git-face.