Merlon: Ok folks, apparently we have no source of power that's powefull enough to stop Dimentio.
Goombario: Maybe Timpani a.k.a. Tippi or Count Bleck a.k.a. Blumiere could help us. If they were here.
Merlon: I know! If Samus shot her dark beam at a mirror, it would bounce back but be slow enough for her to shoot it with a light beam, thus creating a dimentional rift!
Goombario: Where the heck is Samus, anyway?
E. Gadd: I professor E. Gadd can solve your problem! For I have put a tracking device on Samus!
Merlon: Why do you always have to put a tracking device on things?
E. Gadd: Cuz' I can... And it's the only thing I can do besides inventing stuff that are completely useless... One time, I invented a vacuum and it was useful, but I got sued by Ghostbusters for stealing their ivention. But one time I invented a paintbrush that brought things to life! But, Bowser Jr. used for evil. But I also invented F.L.U.D.D.. But, he was kind of gay.
Fludd: I say, I am most definitely not!
E. Gadd: Get back in the suitcase, you!
Stuffwell: Back to adventure!
E. Gadd: Hey! Shudup!
Merlon: You don't really take good care of your stuff.
E. Gadd: You can shudup too!
Merlon:...
Later...
OUTSIDE MARIO'S HOUSE
E. Gadd: Now according to my device, she should be in Mario's house.
They enter Mario's house.
MARIO'S HOUSE
Twink: Hey guys.
E. Gadd: She should be in this room.
E. Gadd and everyone else go in the room and find Mario and Samus having sex.
Goombario: Uh... Mario? Samus? What're you doing?
Mario: GET OUT! XO
Everyone left.
Goombario: Hey guys, Twink isn't watching the TV anymore. And I didn't see him leave. You don't suppose he-?
Twink: What? Having a threesome with Mario and Samus? No, I was using a bathroom.
Goombario: Oh ok.
Twink: But now that you mention it...
Twink enters the room Mario and Samus are in. He doesn't come out.
Merlon: Well we can't do anything and wait until their done so Samus can open a dimensional rift for us.
Meanwhile...
SAMUS'S GUNSHIP
Bowser lands in front of his old castle. (Not the one under Peach's Castle)
Bowser: Kammy, Jr., Goombaria, and Koopa Troopa and some Goomba.
Goomba: I have a name you know! What do all Goombas look the same too you?
Bowser: Um... yeah, they do.
Goomba: ;(
Bowser: Anyways, your the last of the troops I have. Apparently this weird wizard, wants to rule the world. And, Mario and his friends want to stop him. But it must be me, cuz' I'm awesome.
Goomba: *smirks*
Bowser: Do you have something to tell us, Billy?
Goomba: I'm Goomby.
Bowser: Don't talk back to me!
Goomby: But I want to be resp-
Bowser: Zippit!
Goomby: But-
Bowser: A saw ze leperchaun with zippit of gold!
Goomby: But my name isn't-
Bowser: I want zippit of bread!
Goomby: Just listen to-
Bowser: He fell into zippit.
Goomby:...
Bowser: Now everyone get inside!
Later...
Bowser: Now we will time-travel to the age when that stupid mage is dictator and we will kill him!
Goomby: If you've got a time-machine, why not just kill him while he's sitting on the crapper?
Bowser: Billy, I make the decisions here.
Goomby: I'm just sayin'-
Bowser: Sssh!
Goomby: But you could-
Bowser: Sssh!
Goomby: All I'm sayin' is-
Bowser: Sssh!
Goomby:...
Bowser: Ready for time-travel?
Bowser Jr.: I'm hungry...
Kammy: I gotta' use the bathroom!
Bowser: FINE...
Meanwhile...
Samus: Ok, I'm done.
Goombario: What about Mario and Twink?
Samus: Um...
Goombario: Oh...
Samus shot at the mirror with a dark beam and then shot that when it bounced back with a light beam, creating a dimentional rift.
Goombario: Well if Mario wants to stay home, then I'll just substitute the main character role for him then...
Mario: Is it time to leave yet?
Twink: Hey! I'm not done yet!
Mario: Sorry, but my main character role is being threatened and I'm gonna' protect it. Even if the author would rather have Goombella as the main character. But I'm Mario, and you can't get rid of Mario in a Mario game, right?
Everyone: Uh...
Merlon: Foreshadowing!
Mario: Bye Twink!
Twink: You get your a** back in here, you son of a b****!
Mario: Before we go, I think we should tie Koopa Troopa Jr. to a pole before he tries to smoke something again.
Koopa Troopa Jr.: Back! All of you! Or I'll smoke you! I mean it!
Merlon sneaks up on him and ties Koopa Troopa Jr. to the pole.
E. Gadd: You might need F.L.U.D.D. and carry him in Stuffwell.
Stuffwell: Back to adventure!
E. Gadd: Shudup! You piece of sh**!
Mario: Why are you giving us something that you just called a piece of sh**?
E. Gadd: Because I don't want it! Now take it!
Mario did. Then he, Goombario, Merlon, and Samus entered the rift.
WORM HOLE
Merlon: Now, follow me, and we just might appear where Timpani and Blumiere are!
They did. Then they appeared in front of two people having sex by a tree.
TIMPANI AND BLUMIERE'S REALM
Timpani: Mario! It's you! But I thought me and Blumiere just saw you a couple of minutes ago! In 2007!
Mario: Yes, but I'm back!
Timpani: Great Scott!
Mario: Oh please don't faint on me like the Doc did in "Back To The Future Part II".
Timpani: Wait, what?
Mario: Nevermind. We need you both to come with us!
Timpani: No.
Mario: No?
Timpani: Me and Blumiere just found out that we could spend eternity here, making sweet love. But apparently, we only get two minutes of it!
Mario: Well... if we wait an hour or two, would you come help save the world for us?
Timpani: Fine.
Mario: Ok.
Timpani:... TURN AROUND OR I WILL KICK YOUR A** SO HARD YOUR FACE ELL' FEEL IT!
Meanwhile...
MCDONALDS DRIVE-THRU
Bowser: Five large fries, five large sprites, five quarter pounders, five apple pies, and five mcflurries.
Goomby: There's only six of us and you ordered five for everything. You included me, right?
Bowser: Shudup Billy!
McDonalds Employee: That'll be 45 dollars and 75 cents.
Bowser: I can't afford that!
Goomby: How can you not? Your the King of the Koopas!
Bowser: Shudup Billy! You listen here, Mcdonalds Employee, you better give me this stuff for free or else!
McDonalds Employee: Sir, I don't have time for this. There are plenty of other customers. So you can either order something or drive off.
Bowser: Screw you!
McDonalds Employee: Sir, I'm gonna' have to call security.
Bowser: Jr., your in charge. I'm gonna' get us food.
Bowser exited the vehicle and tore through the window, grabbed the food he could and brought it back.
Bowser Jr.: Dad, I hear sirens!
Bowser: Oh sh**! It's the popo! Drive boy! Drive!
Bowser Jr. drived into a tree.
Bowser: I forgot kids couldn't drive. Hand me the steering wheel!
Meanwhile...
Peach and Timmy went to Mario's house (She's still possesed by the Shadow Queen) and entered the rift. She fell to the floor of Dimentio's Throne Room.
DIMENTIO'S THRONE ROOM
Dimentio sat on the throne to the left. Goombella on the right. She was chained to Dimentio by the neck.
Dimentio: Who dares disturb my sitting on the throne and doing nothing like Kings do?
Peach: I am the Shadow Queen. And I have brought my son to become your successor when you will die.
Dimentio: You aren't interested in that! You have come to have your son falsely swear allegiance and kill me when I turn my back!
Peach: How did you know?
Luigi stepped out of the darkness.
Peach: You set me up!
Luigi: Well you didn't tell me you were a dude!
Dimentio: I shall enjoy watching the traitors die by your hand, Luigi.
Luigi: I am no longer Luigi, I am now reborn as Mr. L!
Luigi put on his Mr. L costume. Then he killed Peach, Timmy, and Kenny.
Goombella: Oh my god! They've killed Kenny! YOU B******S!
Meanwhile...
Mario: Timpani, it's been way past two hours. Can we just go?
Timpani: TURN AROUND!
Mario did so in fear of his a** being kicked so hard that his face ell' feel it.
Meanwhile...
Dimentio: Now Luigi, if your going to be a part of my crew, then I want you to meet the rest.
Nastasia walked out of the dark, followed by an army of Koopas and such.
Dimentio: You see, I used Nastasia's power against her by using a mirror. Then I commanded her to mind-control these people to my will. But since your already loyal, you don't need mind-control.
Goombella, if you don't sleep with me tonight, then I'll have Nastasia control your mind as well. Now I ask y'all to leave as me and my bride have a little fun! Ciao!
Narrator: What will happen to Goombella? Will Goomby finally get acknowledged? And will Timpani and Blumiere stop having sex for pete's sake? All this and more on the next chapter of: The Paper Mario Chronicles 3: Hell O' A Gecko!
End of Chapter. (Finally)