Chapter 5: Dimentio's past pt.1
TIMPANI AND BLUMIERE'S REALM
Goombario: They've been having sex for like forever. I say we intervene and force them to stop
Mario: I won't be part of it. I want to keep my a**, thank you.
Goombario: Samus, Goombella? You'll join me, right?
Samus: Hey, Mario, while we're waiting, want to-
Mario: Yes.
Mario and Samus start having sex.
Goombario: Ah heck. Hey Goombella,-
Goombella: Yes.
Goombario and Goombella start having sex.
Timpani: Hey guys, we're done. Are you guys having sex?
Mario: TURN AROUND OR I'LL KICK YOUR A** SO HARD THAT YOUR FACE ELL' FEEL IT!
Merlon: Guys, we've been waiting to go stop Dimentio, and now's our chance! I say we take it!
Mario: Fine... :(
Merlon: Now we should use the dimentional rift to go to his castle 1,000 years from now. But first, please, all of you, put some clothes on for pete's sake.
Merlon held up his mirror, samus shot a dark beam at it and shot that with a light beam before it had time to hit her. A dimensional rift was formed. They all put clothes on and went in. They went through a warphole and exited into the floating, gold-colored castle of Dimentio.
OUTSIDE DIMENTIO'S PALACE
Merlon: I think it unwise to use the main entrance. Perhaps we should find a different way in.
Mario: Or we could just go smashing holes through walls.
Merlon: Yes, or maybe we could just go smashing- wait, what? Dude! How the hell are you gonna' do that?
Mario: Simple. Samus's powerbomb.
Samus: I'm all out of powerbombs.
Mario: Well I got a powerbomb inside me, if you know what I mean.
Mario farted a whole in the wall.
DIMENTIO'S PALACE
They went down the corridor. There was one pair of doors to the left and three doors to the right. They took the farthest door to the right which consealed a room with a twirling staircase. At the top, a door led out to the floor directly above the corridor from which they had entered. There were three doors to the left, and two at the ends. They chose the one going inwards towards the castle. Inside was the throneroom. They were on the balcony in the lower right corner. The lower left and right corners of the balcony did not connect. In the lower part of the throneroom was a red carpet that stretched from a pair of gold trimmed doors to the seats in which Dimentio and Goombella sat in. The seats were very tall and massive. Before the seats was a small set of stairs which the carpet also ran on. There was a door to the right and left of the throne and one directly behind it. A peasant walked up and knealed. How he got there, they didn't know.
Peasant: Please, I beg of you! My family is poor and hungry. If you could just lower your taxe-rates, then it would be most appreciated.
Dimentio: You know, this is an evil kingdom now, you could at least try doing something evil for money, like prostitution or something.
Peasant: But- But I don't believe in that.
Dimentio: Prostitution or death of starvation, your choice. NEXT!
Guards came and dragged the whimpering peasant away. They were Koopas that Nastasia had hypnotized. Nastasia stood next to Goombella and Mr. L next to Dimentio.
Mario: Let's jump down and strike now!
Merlon: Um, actually, I'm just gonna' stay up here.
Mario pushed Merlon off and jumped off the balcony. The rest pursued the same course of action. They landed. The guards rushed to stop them, but Dimentio's hand flung up and they stood erect.
Dimentio: So I see you finally came. I was expecting you to try to come and rescue Goombella. But you can't possibly hope to beat me, for I have fused my body with the Star Rod. Dimentio, ripped his shirt off and the Star Rod was in the middle of his chest and purple vains from the Star Rod were spreading around his body.
Dimentio: I have not become all-powerful a.k.a. invincible yet, for the fusion is incomplete. But that is just enough to stop the likes of you.
Nastasia: Lord Dimentio, have me command your army to attack.
Dimentio: No, Mr. L can finish them.
Mario: Luigi?
Mr. L: I no longer go by that name. From now on refer to me as Mr. L! I am the dark avenger, punishing those who have committed sins, like not telling people that they're a dude! You know the person that I'm talking about!
Mario: Um, no, I really don't.
Mr. L: My wife?
Mario: Nope. Don't know her. You got married?
Mr. L: Dude, I sent you a wedding invitation. Didn't you come?
Mario: Like that would happen.
Mr. L: My wife is the Shadow Queen, dude.
Mario: You mean Princess Peach? Wait, so you and Princess Peach got married, and Peach is a dude?
Mr.L: We also had a son named Timmy. But then I killed him and Peach.
Mario: You killed Peach?
Mr.L: And now I will kill you too!
Mr. L chucked a knife at Mario. Instead it hit Kenny.
Mario: Oh my god! They've killed Kenny! YOU B******S!
Mr. L: Now, like time to like die, like yeah.
Mario: ?
Mr. L: Sorry, I've been watching too much Lifetime tv.
Mario:?
Mr. L: Nevermind... Now you will die!
Mr. L jumped up into the air and landed to get hit in the nuts by Mario's hammer.
Mr. L: WTF? How?
Mario: Dude, your pretty predictable. All you do is jump really frikkin high.
Mr. L: D*** you.
Mr. L got up and ran towards the door on the right of the throne. Inside, he ran down a long corridor and entered a door at the end of the hallway, he ran up a twirling staircase for three stories, then exited the room. He turned to his left and went down a corridor with three windows to the left and three doors to the right. In the middle right door, he opened to find Timmy's room. Timmy sat on a magnificent bed with a canopy. There was a bookcase and a table with used plates, dishes, and silverware on it. Timmy was reading a book.
Luigi: Timmy! Grab what you can and let's get the heck out of here!
Meanwhile...
Dimentio: Send guards after Mr. L! He has most likely gone to get his son which he spared from me! Fine then, I will take care of Mario and co. myself.
Dimentio floated into the air. Then he flung towards mario with his right hand outstretched. But right before he hit Mario, he was hit by a giant red diamond and fell to the ground.
Dimentio: What?
Dimentio looked up to see O' Chunks and Mimi standing before him.
O' Chunks: Yo I be hear to crush ya' lad for betraying count bleck and us, taking over the world, and taking Goombella without her wantin to.
Mimi: Yeah, like totally. Aren't I pretty?
O' Chunks: God, Mimi, can you shudup bout how pretty you are?
Mimi: Whatev.
O' Chunks ripped the starrod out and crushed it into dust. Dimentio yelled in pain. Then O' Chunks picked up Dimentio with his left hand by the neck and squeezed as tight as he could. Dimentio made a choking laugh. Mimi floated into the air and began chanting.
Dimentio: O'Chunks and Mimi! My old time pals! You couldn't kill me, right?
O' Chunks: I couldn't care less lad.
Dimentio: Whadda bout you Mimi? You couldn't kill me, even if we didn't use to be an item, right?
Mimi: You shutup! What little I had for you is long gone! I hope that you keep our brief relationship between us!
Then Mimi had a flash-back.
Mimi and Dimentio were younger looking. Both wore a blue robe. Dimentio didn't have his hat or makeup on. A tall powerfully built figure stood before them.
Dimentio: Who will it be Sensei?
Sensei: I will decide tomorrow.
Mimi: Agreed Sensei.
Dimentio: Oh alright.
Later that day...
Mimi: Are you ok, Derrick?
Derrick: I'm fine.
Mimi: Something's troubling you?
Derrick: I want to win. I want to win the position of becoming Sensei's apprentice.
Mimi: It isn't about winning the position, it's a test to see if who has a more controlled inner self.
Derrick: Well then to win, is to be able to control one's inner self then!
Mimi: Stop this, Derrick, this is nonsense! Who cares who Sensei picks?
Derrick: If Sensei picks me, then he'll teach me to become more powerful, and I'll be able to change the world, Mimi.
Mimi: I love you, and I don't want to see you get hurt.
Derrick: I love you too, Mimi.
The next day...
Sensei: You two will fight. I will decide based off whoever wins.
Mimi cast a fire spell but Derrick countered with a wind spell. Then Mimi summoned a monster from limbo. Derrick cast a sealing spell and sent him back to limbo. Mimi summoned an even more powerful monster who was immune to magic, but Derrick cast a spell on it to make it turn against it's master. It stroke Mimi, and she collapsed. Then Derrick desummoned the monster.
Mimi: How did you do that if it was immune to magic?
Derrick: Instead of attacking with magic, I used magic to talk to it telepathically to persuade it to attack you. I see it worked. Do I win, Sensei?
Sensei: Win? Yes. Become my successor? No.
Derrick: But, but I won. You said you would choose your successor based off the winner.
Sensei: I said based off the winner, not the winner would be my successor.
Derrick: I don't understand.
Sensei: Derrick, you've always had a hardened heart and a lust for power. However, I since in Mimi a sense of justice and goodwill towards men. Mimi may be weaker and less talented than you right now, but she will eventually surpass you in talent and power.
Derrick ran away in sobs and sniffs. Mimi pursued him.
Mimi: Derrick, it's okay to lose.
Derrick: No it isn't! Because, I've lost, I won't become powerful enough to change the world!
Mimi: There are other ways to change the world. You just have to set goals and pursue them.
Derrick: But I don't want to do anything other than magic!
Mimi: Sometimes we must give up something for the greater goal.
Derrick: I'm leaving Mimi. Im leaving the Sensei's hold. I hope you become a powerful wizard.
Derrick and Mimi passionately kissed. Then Derrick left.
End of Chapter