Welcome back! Please, enjoy the torture. Disclaimer: I own NOTHING execpt Destiny, the Lickers and Cerburi she owns, and her virus. On with this week's episode!
Destiny: (Clinging onto Leon while sleeping) Don't leave me...
Leon: Does anyone want to help me?
Vampiregirl: No.
Wesker: I agree with her. She has a very strange attachment to you. And Chris.
Destiny: (Crawls away from Leon and cuddles up next to Chris) Mmm, must destroy Chris Redfield.
Chris: Get her OFF ME!
Wesker: It appears that she's returned to her original progamming.
Destiny: Must... fight... PROGRAMMING!
Wesker: Or not.
Claire: This is creepy.
Destiny: Whoza whatza! Oh, hey guys. What's up?
Leon: You apparently went back to your original programming in your sleep... which was to destroy Chris.
Destiny: Yeah, I know. When I was given my virus, Albert also programmed orders in me to eliminate Christopher. I overcame it, though, when Chris started to talk some sense into me after I lost my cool.
Chris:... Nope. Doesn't ring a bell.
Wekser and Destiny: Stupid Redfield...
Jill: Same blood must mean same hatered.
Destiny: No, he's just so goddamn STUPID it makes no sense!
Phone: When you leave my colors fade to grey, numa numa iei, numa numa numa iei!
Jill: Now it's Numa Numa? What's wrong with you?
Destiny: Well, you have no taste for good dance music. Hello!
Vampiregirl: I got a great one,Have Claire have sex with Leon and have everyone sees them naked and find out that Claire is pregnant(in later chapter). Update this is fun!
Destiny: I can see you over in that corner! I only have like an hour of minutes left on this thing!
Vampiregirl: Sorry.
Claire: What?
Destiny: Okay, one: Sherry is here, and Salazar, too, and they're little kids.
Salazar: I'M TWENTY YEARS OLD!
Destiny: Hush, midgit. Two: This is T-Rated.
**Afterwards**
Destiny: Okay, there we go!
Leon: Why did you say this was T-Rated and then put up that sign?
Destiny: I lost it when my Cerburi were chasing Joseph around in the forest out back.
Phone: When you leave my colors fade to grey, numa numa iei, numa numa numa iei!
Wesker: I never should have let you eat all that sugar when you were younger.
Destiny: Too late! Hello?
ObsCure2: ooooh put me in it i wanna kick CLAIRE in the nuts ;)
Destiny: Okay! Please welcome Cure2!
Claire: I'M A CHICK!
Destiny: Do you think I give a vial of T-Virus if you're a chick or not? I do not.
Cure2: (Kicks Claire)
Claire: Ow! Damnit!
Phone: When you walk away, you don't hear me say "Please, oh baby, don't go." Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight. It's hard to let go.
Leon: Really?
Destiny: Quiet, Licker snack! Hello?
Vampiregirl: Hi name is Danielle Wolf,I want to bite Wesker and I want to see Claire and Jill in Bra and undies and have Chris flipped out. And Yes have Claire won and her belly grew.
Destiny: That's it. I'm getting more minutes on this thing. LUCAS!
(A Cerberus comes running onto stage and barks at Joseph)
Lucas: Yes, Master?
Destiny: Can you and Phillip take care of things while I'm gone and not kill the cast?
Lucas: Maybe. I have to ask him.
RE Cast: That thing can say more than two words?
Destiny: Quiet. Well, go and talk to his Hunter butt!
RE Cast: YOU HAVE A [BEEP]ING HUNTER?
Destiny: Yep. Phillip!
(A Hunter comes onto stage with a leg in it's mouth)
Phillip: Yeah? I was just having lunch.
Destiny & Lucas:... Is that the new intern?
Phillip: Huh? No, no. Just some hobo I found.
Destiny: What have I told you about eating hobos?
Phillip: That I shouldn't because I don't know if they're sick or not.
Destiny: Good boy. Anyway, I'm heading out to get more minutes on my phone. Can you and Lucas handle things while I'm gone and not kill the cast?
Phillip: Sure, totally. I'm pretty full, anyway.
Destiny: Cool. See ya. (Runs out of studio)
Joseph: Oh dear God kill me again!
Lucas: I want to, but Master would skin me and feed my pelt to her Lickers. It would be a grusome death indeed. Anyway.
Phillip: Please welcome Danielle Wolf onto the stage! I want another hobo.
Lucas: No.
Danielle: Where's Destiny?
Lucas: She went to get more minutes on her phone. Me and the hunter over there name Phillip are in charge until she gets back.
Danielle:... Aren't you so cute? You're a cute Cerberus! Yes you are! Yes you are!
Lucas: I'm cute! I'm cute! I'm cute!
Phillip: Oh boy. Anyway, Wesker's hiding in that corner over there. (Points to Wesker, who is sitting in a dark corner in the stage) We've all dubbed it the "Emo Corner". Useful for those who have those times in their lives. On sale now!
Lucas: Wow, Phillip. Anyway, go ahead and bite him. I'm sure Master wouldn't mind.
Danielle: (Bites Wesker, who then runs into a room)
Lucas and Phillip: Oh boy.
Destiny: I have returned from the store! (Doesn't see Wesker in his corner) Where'd my brother go?
Lucas: Into the Lickers' bedroom. And they were taking a nap.
Destiny: Oh boy. They do not like to be woken up from their naps.
Chris:... He's dead, isn't he?
Destiny: Oh yeah big time.
Phone: Shawty's like a melody in my head that I can keep boy got me singin like, Na na na na, every day it's like my iPod stuck on replay reaplay ayayay.
Rebecca: Where do you download all of this?
Destiny: No where. Important. Hello?
Biohazardous Fears: =D SWEET!
Since Wesker is allowed to get revenge and well all know Chris is totally IN LOVE with Jill... so,
I Dare Wesker to take Jill and "mess with" with her(take that how ever you want Wesker) In front of Chris.
Chris: LIKE HELL HE IS!
Destiny: (Whistles and five Hunter IIs come onto stage)
Hunter IIs: Master?
Destiny: Tie Chris up to a pole with out eating him and tape his head into place with duct tape.
Hunter II: Yes Master. (Do as commanded)
Wesker: (Runs out of room and hides behind his sister) GET THEM AWAY FROM ME!
Lickers: (Run in front of Destiny)
Destiny: No! He's not food! You can have a chuck of him later, okay?
Lickers: (Nod and go into room)
Wesker: Now, about my dare.
Destiny: Right. Squad One, front and center.
Hunter IIs: (Stand at attention)
Leon: Okay, how many do you have?
Destiny: An entire army.
Ada: Where do you get them all?
Destiny: No where.
/Flashback, three weeks before show aired/
Destiny: Okay, I'm going to need those Lickers in the pit over there. No no no. The Licker Betas! The normal Lickers get their own room!
Deilvery Guy: Where do you want these Hunter IIs? (Points to Hunter IIs in containment tubes)
Destiny: Uh, I'll put them somewhere myself. Thanks for asking, though.
Delivery Guy: Sure.
/Present/
Destiny: Yeah, no where. Anyway, what do you have in mind, bro?
Wesker: (Grabs Jill and begins a make-out fight with her)
Chris: NO! NO JILL! MY SWEET INNOCENT JIIIIIILLLLLLLL!
Destiny: Anyone who's been through the crap you have is NOT innocent, Redfield.
Chris: MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOP! MAKE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT ! PLEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSE!
Lucas: This deserves a bag full of Joseph.
Joseph: WHY ARE DO YOU WANT TO EAT ME!
Lucas: You're sweet tasting to us.
Lucas' Pack: Alpha's right! You are sweet tasting!
Joseph: Oh dear God he's an Alpha.
Destiny: Oh yeah! I found a way to mate Cerberi!
Joseph: Noooo...
Destiny: Yeah! Lucas already has a pup! (Picks up little Cerberus pup that barks at Joseph) Look Joseph! He even wants to eat you like his father! I'm gonna name him Lucas Jr.
Lucas: I like that name. Come here, Junior.
Junior: (Runs over to his dad) Bark bark! Yip Daddy! Yip yip Joseph!
Lucas: He says he wants Joseph.
Leon: He's on the rafters. (Points up to Joseph)
Brad: When did he get up there?
Destiny: Better question is how.
Phillip: He asked me.
Phone: Destiny, someone's calling for a dare.
Joseph: THAT'S A NEW ONE.
Destiny: Hello?
ResidentEvilGirl: ROFl when i saw the part when vampiregirl kicked wesker, i cound not stop laughing
-doubles over remembering-
i want to join in too!
Destiny: Well then, please welcome REGirl!
REGirl: (Runs onto stage and pokes a still screaming Chris) HA!
Joseph: I DIDN'T THINK SOMEONE COULD SCREAM THAT LONG.
Leon: Are you ever going to him down from there?
Destiny: Maybe. I have to think about it first. (Sees zombie) Who let the zombie in here?
Zombie: Hi Destiny.
Destiny: Hey Tom. How's it been?
Tom: Someone blew the head off my daughter, so I killed them and made him one of us. You know, same old same old.
Destiny: I see. Wanna stick around?
Tom: Don't have anything planned, so sure... Why is he on the rafters?
Destiny: Afraid of Lucas and his pack.
Phone: Nom nom nom nom nom nom. Nom nom nom nom.
Claire: Hey, I like that song.
Destiny: Yeah, it's cute! Hello, Resident Evil BIOHAZARD Truth or Dare Show, what's your dare?
Talon Wesker: My name is Talon. This is my dare:
I dare Rebecca and Jill to hit Chris in the balls with a cactus over and over again while Jill and Rebecca wear Batman costumes.
Destiny: Okay! (Throws a boulder at her brother) Knock it off! Jill has a dare!
Wesker:... Five more minutes.
Destiny: Good God. (Grabs Wesker and throws him into the Licker's bedroom and locks the door)
Wesker: HEEELLLP! ANYONE! EVEN CHRIS! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Chris: That desperate? Sad.
Destiny: Learned your lesson?
Wesker: (Breaks down door and hides behind Chris) It's better if you die and not me.
Destiny: Yo! Stop! Go back to sleep you eight!
Lickers: (Go into room and go back to sleep)
Jill: Where do we get a cactus? And why Batman?
Destiny: First question: I dunno. Second: Cause Batman is cool. Cooler than my brother.
Wesker: Hey!
Joseph: I FOUND A BAG OF CHIPS UP HERE!
Destiny: TOSS 'EM DOWN! THEY'RE MINE!
Joseph: CAN YOU MAKE SURE THE DAMN CERBERI DON'T EAT ME?
Destiny: OF COURSE! (Gets bag of chips thrown down at her) THANK YOU.
Joseph: YOU'RE WELCOME.
Destiny: Okay, the costumes are in the back. (Grabs chip and munches away on it) Have da zombies elp you.
Jill: What? You have zombies back there?
Destiny: (Swallows) Man I love original. Anyway, yes. They wanted somewhere to stay, so I offered. They're really nice if you get to know them. Also, don't play Thriller near them. They don't like it.
Rebecca: This is so weird.
Destiny: Not half as weird as me enjoying reading stories about my brother and Chris.
Wesker: You're disgusting!
Destiny: I only do it when there's nothing else good or interesting to read. I mainly read Chris and Leon stories.
Chris and Leon: What?
Jill:... Chris sould be untied for this.
Destiny: Yeah, you're right. SQUAD ONE! FRONT AND CENTER!
Squad One: (Come running in, almost killing Billy)
Billy: Watch it!
Destiny: Untie Chris, but put him in the shackles, alright?
Squad One: (Nod, untie Chris, and put him in shackles)
Chris: I'm not gonna be able to get away from this, am I?
Destiny: Nope! Begin putting cacti into Chris' balls!
Jill: I'm sorry Chris. (Attack's Chris' lower body with the cactus)
Lucas: Come to think of it, where did you get the cacti?
Rebecca: We found them.
Phillip: The zombies gave them to you, didn't they?
Jill: Yep.
Destiny: NO! HE'LL BETRAY YOU AGAIN! HE'LL BETRAY YOU!
Wesker: What the Hell is wrong with you?
Destiny: Shh! I'm watching my soaps! NO! SHE TOOK HIM BACK! HE'S JUST GOING TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN!
Joseph: DRAMATIC PLOT LINE, RIGHT?
Destiny: YEP.
Chris: I have spikes in my balls.
Destiny: Collect his blood and whatever else comes out. Have the blood for the other BOWs and yourselves.
Phillip: (Grabs a bucket and places it under Chris) Let the harvest begin!
Phone: (Sounds like it's being raped by a Korineze clown named Bobo)
Destiny: I didn't program that into my phone. Hello?
RRG: Blame the clones for this series of dares.
First off: Wesker, either you dance with the Devil [Bobo] in the pale moonlight in a miniskirt and fake breasts or you will be Bobo's rent boy. Take the dance.
2nd: Have Rebbecca pose in a skimpy two piece swim suit while the pictures are distributed across the internet or...See Wesker get a lap dance from Bobo.
3rd:...Just shoot Bobo.
Also...Have Jill use a very strangely colored shake wieght while in hooker clothes or in nothing at all.
Destiny: Okay... what?
Lucas: Well, I'm going. I had a bad experience with clowns before.
Phillip: Wow.
Wesker: I'm not dancing with a clown.
Destiny: Do you want to be his rent boy instead?
Wesker:... I'll take the dance.
/Two hours later because the author did not want to scar or scare anyone/
Destiny: I'm afraid clowns now.
Rebecca: What's worse, skimpy swim suit, or the lap dance?
Everyone: The lap dance is worse! Take the swim suit!
Rebecca: Well, if it's true.
/Five Hours later/
Billy: Damn that's hot. (Get nosebleed)
Destiny: Clean up on isle Billy.
Janitor Licker: (Licks up the blood)
Chris: Half of the staff here are BOWs, aren't they?
Destiny: Yep. Okay Timmy, your good. The floor's clean now.
Timmy: (Leaves)
Wesker: Oh dear God Destiny kill that clown.
Destiny: Okay, sure. He creeps me out, anyway. (Aims Glock at Bobo's head and pulls trigger)
Bobo: (Falls down dead)
Claire: Please don't let him come back as a zombie.
Jill: Okay, why a hooker?
Destiny: Would you rather be nude?
Jill:... I'll take hooker.
Destiny: Alright. WARDROBE ZOMBIES! WE NEED YOUR HELP!
Wardrobe Zombies: (Moan and grunt)
Destiny: We need you to give Jill here some hooker clothes. Can you handle it?
Zombies: (Nod and dress Jill up the hook clothing) Ta...Da!
Steve: Creepy.
Destiny: WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE LIKE THAT STEVE!
Claire: And I thought I was the one who was sad.
Destiny: I'm good now.
Joseph: I WANT A PIECE OF JILL!
Chris: STAY AWAY FROM HER!
Destiny:... Right now we are looking at one of the reasons why Albert will not let me go to male strip clubs. So many things can go wrong in one instant. But it is fun to watch guys do that.
Wesker: You're still not allowed to go any.
Destiny: Jerk. (Sees zombie cat) Oh my God. Albert! Star came back! She came back!
Leon: That thing is a zombie!
Destiny: So? (Hugs zombe cat)
Zombie Cat: Meoooow.
Destiny: Oh how cute.
Joseph: FREAK.
Destiny: I'LL THROW JUNIOR UP AT YOU.
Joseph: I'LL SHUT UP.
Destiny: Here ya go, Jill. (Gives Jill a strangly colored shake weight)
Jill:... What am I supposed to do?
Destiny: Dunno. (Rereads dare) Says nothing about what to do.
Chris: Just stand there and let me look at you. (Has another cactus thrown into his privates) Don't care.
Jill: You're disgusting, Chris!
Lucas: We'll just the the episode right here.
Destiny: Please call in and give us dares on how Jill should get her revenge for what Christopher just said to her.
Phillip: (Still collecting Chris's blood) Bye!
Yeah, very strange chapter to me. Please do call in!