"But I would be too, considering."

Jim nodded but didn't look up from his PADD.

McCoy stared at him briefly before finishing off his salad. "You're quiet."

"No." Kirk still didn't look up, but he had been staring at the same four words for the past hour, his food hardly touched.

"I have a hypospray for that," he said cheekily.

Jim recoiled before rolling his eyes. "I'm fine, Bones."

"Normally you're talking my ear off, or at least listening when we're talking shop."

"We're talking about work?" Jim asked guiltily. He shoved his PADD away and straightened up. "I'm all ears."

"Talking about Lee? Remember, those two ensigns? You signed the disciplinary actions, right?"

Kirk nodded, because he vaguely remembered Rand getting on his nerves about it. "Yeah, what about it?"

"I was just saying, we found out Lee punched the shit out of Carter because the ass said he wouldn't mind plowing his soon-to-be ex-wife."

Kirk winced. "Why wasn't that on the report?" he demanded and he watched the doctor almost snap to attention. McCoy had once told him that hearing Jim use that tone of voice was like hearing Joanna read before he had taught her to; he didn't expect the capability out of either of them. "Why didn't I know about this?"

"I don't know, Jim, I didn't make the report, did I?" He bit off a piece of his bagel and chomped at it like he was making a point. "And probably because it wasn't pertinent, annoying though it is. The point isn't why they fought, not to you. It's that they broke into it while on duty, on your ship."

"I know how to do my job, Bones."

"I know," McCoy said, and nothing about his tone this time proved otherwise. It didn't even sound like a concession. "But this one's none of your business, Jim." Kirk could feel his eyes scan up and down him as he turned his attention back to his food. "So why don't you tell me what's really bothering you."

Jim didn't even flinch. "Nothing's bothering me."

"I'd almost believe that if you hadn't said it so convincingly."

Jim glared at him. This was his best friend and he knew him so well in some ways, but so little in others. He couldn't talk to him about Spock. Jim couldn't even sort out what it was he felt about Spock, or why he dwelt on him in the first place. Perhaps he needed to go about cutting ties with the elder; he always felt unsettled after speaking with him.

But all of that was for him to work out on his own. He was finding more and more things were these days.

"I'm fine," he said, scooting out from his chair. "And I'm late. I'll see ya."

He snatched his tray from the table and watched McCoy give him a look like he wanted to say something before he left, but Jim knew his friend was no good at apologizing and he wasn't going to make him. Jim's mood wasn't his fault, nor was how well he felt McCoy did or didn't understand him.

Jim turned back nearly the moment he had turned away. "And I wasn't-" He sighed, swallowing. "I didn't want to punish Carter," he said. "... I just thought Lee might want to talk."

It did nothing to help the expression on McCoy's face, but Jim felt better leaving.

"Nyota?"

Uhura turned, looking around the sparsely populated hall for who could have called her name. Ensign Feiss, Veronika. They had had a few classes together in their first and second year Engineering, and had kept in touch throughout. She had transferred on-board after the refit which had followed the loss of Vulcan, under Commander Scott.

"What can I do for you, Veronika?" she asked, slowing her gait to match her friend's.

The blonde sighed and rubbed the back of her neck, beneath her braid. "Is there somewhere we could talk?" she asked lowly.

"I doubt anyone would be able to overhear us, but if you'd like a bit of privacy, then we could go into my quarters." Uhura gestured to the door she had stopped before. "Is that fine?"

"Absolutely. Thank you so much. I did not know who to turn to." Veronika followed Uhura in, and was offered a seat as the other raised the lights and lowered the temperature.

"That's better. It should cool off in a moment. So what's wrong? You look like you want to cry," Uhura said as she took the seat next to her.

"I thought it would be easier than this," Veronika confessed. "Being on a starship. Missing my family. It is as though it hurts worse every day!"

Uhura blinked and tried not to smile. Her definition of dramatics had increased since dating Spock, but she was fairly certain this would qualify for anyone. "I remember you would talk about space like it was a lover," she said softly. "What happened?"

"As with all lovers, it captured me, and it lost its luster. It is cold and unforgiving and Commander Scott is a taskmaster who puts all of our Academy instructors to shame. Half of what he expects us to know is not in any textbook nor taught in any class!" Veronika halted, and blew the bangs off of her forehead. "I just cannot seem to get comfortable and no one cares."

"People care, Veronika. They just don't always show it. They're not just going to come right out and say it just because they're going through, or have gone through, the same thing. And then you're always in Engineering. Do you get out?"

"Spaceship," Veronika said again, deadpan.

Uhura laughed. "No, I mean, have you remembered your hobbies? You've got to find something outside of work to keep you occupied. Didn't you like to cook?"

"You remember that?"

"I remember the Königsberger Klopse you made that day. I swore I wouldn't eat it, but it smelled so good." Uhura nudged her with her shoulder and smiled. "Did you know that there are at least two cooking clubs circulating around?"

"Really? No one had told me this!"

"Veronika, if you pull your head out of your ass, I'm sure you'll find more than one person going through the same thing. The cooking club meets on Thursdays, 2300 hours. You should come. I go every once in a while. It's nice to be around people who miss their homes, and then we get to eat the food they miss." She paused, considering. "You said no one cares. Do you try to make friends? Date anyone?"

Veronika actually laughed at this, not a scoff but true amusement. "Who is there to date?" she asked like Uhura was being ridiculous. "How do you approach someone... in that way... when you are meant to have a working relationship? It cannot be wise."

Uhura swallowed back a smile that might have become a laugh and opened her mouth.

"Oh, I do not mean-!" Veronika reached forward to place a hand on the lieutenant's knee, comfort she did not require for an offense she had not felt. "I only... you are so... you are both... you separate your lives so well, and I..."

Uhura felt strangely uneasy for a moment before she realized that she should be understanding "separate" as "compartmentalize".

"Well, it's easy now," she said. "Or easier. But that certainly wasn't at first. And I think the fact that he's so good at it helps me be better at it. And if you don't think it would be possible to start that kind of relationship that way, we all know the rec room can be a breeding ground for singles on certain nights."

Veronika blinked. "We do?"

Uhura couldn't keep the smile back this time. "Yes," she said. "Try Thursdays. It's like the weekend around here. And if you're worried about plain old friends," She settled her hand over the one Veronika had set on her knee, "I am available."

"I will try to remember that before it gets to be so bad. I have run out of non-replicated chocolate and you know, sometimes it is the only thing that works during..." Veronika gestured feebly, with a smile.

Uhura nodded. She personally tended to keep her menstrual cycle under wraps around a predominantly male crew (aside from the time Spock had informed her he could smell it as if it were just another piece of the conversation and she had avoided him for a good week), but she certainly understood it. "I am very clear," she said with a smirk. "I think that Francis keeps some in her room. Just tell her its an emergency and we'll get her some more when we reach the next starbase."

Veronika laughed and caught a glimpse of the time on Uhura's PADD, next to them on the seating. "I must go. I have an experiment which will come to a close, and Commander Scott expressed interest in the outcome."

"Good! I won't keep you." Uhura walked Veronika out to the corridor and laughed as she was kissed on both cheeks and bid farewell. Doctor McCoy just so happened to round the corner at the end of their parting, and raised an eyebrow at her. "What?" she asked primly, before waving at a retreating Veronika.

"Was that German?"

Uhura paused and then grinned. "Would you be interested in learning? Ensign Feiss is a very interesting woman, and currently a little lonely."

McCoy shook his head. "I stay away from the lonely. I was bitten as a child."

She sighed. "Spoken like a true cynic. We'll find you someone eventually."

"No need. I have enough work." McCoy left to Uhura's laughter, a small smile of his own on his face.

"The decision has been made."

Spock found that he had been staring, and shifted his balance to regain concentration. "What was decided?"

"As I have already served in the capacity, the Federation thought it wise to permit me to do so again."

Spock processed that and considered all it meant, staring at a point that was carefully no where on his counterpart's face. He could see the logic behind having a direct liaison between the predominantly affected parties. He could see the logic in choosing his elder self for the role, for his past failure in this matter had been unavoidable, and he was certain the Vulcan High Council had interviewed him extensively on his previous experience, among others.

But more and more he anticipated that the Federation might be pushing toward not only assurance of continued peace, but an alliance. And that seemed... dangerous. He desired no war. He desired to help when it was needed. But the Romulans could easily take advantage of the situation and Spock certainly did not wish for the Federation to present their back to them.

"Will the liaison linger after the peace talks have concluded?"

The ambassador blinked at him and Spock put aside more easily than he once had his unease with how plainly his reaction showed on his face. He could surmise that Jim had been a bad influence and sympathetically label it mere cause and effect. "That is not decided," his counterpart said. "I am not certain it is at this point even considered."

"And if it were?"

"Are you suggesting I speculate as to the outcome or inquiring into my personal preferences on the matter?"

Because he knew himself well enough to know he already suspected the answer, he only lifted an eyebrow.

"Spock," And it was still extremely odd to hear his name from his own mouth, a sentiment he could see his counterpart shared, "I devoted the latter half of my life to a goal which Vulcans now have the opportunity to achieve many years earlier. I must consider the lives that would be spared." He paused. "But I must also consider whether or not each of our people are ready for such a move. They were not when I began, many years from even now. As with all of your queries in regards to my expanded knowledge, I must conclude that I simply do not know."

A profoundly unsatisfying answer, but the only one he certainly could have given. Spock stared directly at himself this time, as he thought on this. "Why did you devote yourself to such an unlikely cause?" he found himself asking, and then immediately after wondering if it was the sort of question his counterpart could even permit himself to answer without fear of swaying his own choices.

Sure enough, the other's face changed again, and Spock had a difficult time placing the emotion. It did not seem a pleasant one, quiet but near fierce. "I desired an occupation," he eventually replied, as though that could explain all of what had passed on his face. "It was a worthy one."

Spock blinked past it. "I cannot help but wonder if this would be better suited for when we as a people have recovered."

"And when will we ever truly recover, Spock? Our grief and loss will reverberate through our universe for hundreds of years. The loss of a home world is nothing less than horrific. You will not live to see it referred to with anything short of the shock and sadness we feel right now."

"I understand the tactical advantages," Spock said, and he could feel a deep seated irritation. He did not appreciate being made to feel as if he were incapable of seeing the "big picture". Even more disturbing was that it was his face, albeit older, forcing him to feel this way.

"I know you do."

"Are there any other particulars that you wish to share with me?" Spock knew that his counterpart would hear it for what it was, a conclusion to the call.

"None that I can share with you at this time. We will speak again."

Spock nodded, and ended the call. Once his face left the screen, he still could not quiet the sensation of discomfort and doubt. He had none in his skills as a negotiator, and with years of experience gained, there would be no logical reason to expect failure on his part.

He looked around his room, and briefly thought of joining Nyota in her own. He settled for meditation instead.

Lieutenant Uhura often felt that the daily grind of her work shifts were not quite what she had signed on for when she had selected her focus at the Academy, or for that matter, enlisted in Starfleet. She enjoyed her job, even the tedious portions, liked feeling useful, because there was indeed constantly something to do at her station, usually necessary to the flow of ship's operations, however small. There were other people here who she knew would not have the patience to carry out her function, let alone take pleasure in it.

But she had to admit, on days like this, when all there was to do was ferry messages from one department to another and other occupations of no more excitement, she longed for the sort of away mission that resulted in a projectile weapon pointed at Kirk's head with nothing standing between her captain and certain death but her language skills.

Or something like that.

The captain had been in and out of the bridge this shift anyway, arranging the departure of Ambassador Fox, and she would assume certainly seeing him off by now. As a result, alpha shift had been even more terminally boring than usual without the occasional joke popped throughout. Chekov and Sulu appeared to be keeping each other company in that regard, but they weren't forthcoming in sharing with the rest of them, the way Jim had the freedom to. In any case, she supposed even Jim's jokes had been diminishing as the first year of the mission wore on and he, she suspected, actually grew up, which she both commended and blamed Spock for.

She kind of missed it.

There was a beep from her console that she went to accept just as there was a beep from the turbolift just before it deposited Kirk back onto the bridge and all eyes briefly turned to him, including hers. She listened to the message's tags and then forwarded it, watching in her peripheral vision as the captain made his way to the center seat, and then more closely, as she always did, when Spock rose from his station and approached him.

"The ambassador is planetside?" she heard him prompt, saw him place both hands on the back of the chair.

"Yeah," Kirk said, rubbing tiredly at his forehead. "I miss anything fascinating?"

Spock hesitated like he was considering this. "A subjective term, Captain, but in my estimation, negative."

Jim snorted as she did. She flicked a knob to accept the next incoming transmission.

The audio tags caught her ear, and she shunted all consciousness to the message. It wasn't long, and most of it wasn't for her ears alone, but she couldn't help but be interested as the message went on. Uhura checked twice to make sure the message had come through in its totality, and once she was sure, readied it to be routed.

"Captain, I have a message from Starfleet Command."

"Put it on."

"For your ears only, sir." She turned and raised an eyebrow. Both of Kirk's rose as well as he stole a glance at Spock.

"I'll take it in my ready room. Spock, join me?" Kirk didn't wait for an answer as he left his chair and walked to the bridge entrance of his office. He heard the quiet beep of a waiting message.

"Captain, I do believe the lieutenant said that it was for your ears only," Spock said, once the door had closed behind him.

Kirk shrugged, and sat down at his desk. "True, but I'd tell you anyway. This way we can kill two birds with one stone." He looked to Spock cheekily as he pressed the button. For some reason he had come to enjoy using idioms in his first officer's presence. He knew that Spock knew what they meant, despite feigning confusion or ignorance.

He had his number.

"This is Kirk, passcode alpha one."

"Voice recognition approved."

Admiral Pike's tired face came into view, but he smiled stiffly. "Jim, I'm sure you know we've been trying to craft the best contingent possible to make sure these talks with the Romulans go the way we need them to. We've finally settled on a delegate team, and now Command has decided that no less than our flagship would do to ensure the safety of the delegation and its mission. Your orders are to report to the Jupiter Station, where the delegation will board and any and all particulars will be communicated to you. If you have any concerns or questions, get back with me as soon as possible. Pike out."

Kirk sat back and stared at the now empty screen. "I gotta say, I didn't expect them to make a decision so... quickly." He glanced over to Spock. "What do you think?"

"What I think is irrelevant," Spock said automatically.

Kirk cocked his head and almost sighed. "Not if I asked your opinion."

Spock hesitated. "Could you be more specific?"

"Yeah, sure. Why do you think they've come to such a quick decision after Vulcan?" Jim visibly hesitated. "Seems like you guys aren't even really on your feet yet."

"When war is potentially imminent, Captain, I am uncertain we have the luxury of considering the decision 'quick'. I was told that it would not matter how long they waited. The wound of losing Vulcan would still be as deeply felt."

Kirk nodded slowly. "Whoever told you that was a smart person," he murmured, staring off into space.

Spock did not know if he could accept the compliment in all honesty, however unique the situation.

Author's Notes: *peeks* You guys there?