Galactik Stars Revealed.
Thank you to everyone who reviewed so far. I'm surprised you liked it...I really wasn't sure about this little three-shot. But thanks to you there's a second chapter, so you've only got yourselves to blame! Jokes. Jokes. By the way I hope Warren's persona doesn't insult anyone...it wasn't meant to be insulting in the slightest.
"Right, next footballer coming in." The floor manager reported.
Callie quickly glugged down the rest of her coffee, took one more bite from her bagel, chewed crazily, and then crashed down onto her seat. Just in time for Luur to enter the room- dressed in what was essentially his football kit, except 'tuxedo edition'.
"Luur, welcome." Callie greeted, smiling at the alien as he made his way to the sofa. She was now in full professional mode again; surely Luur would have some interesting secrets?
"Ginger headed human." Luur inclined his head.
Gritting her teeth a little at being called ginger, Callie pressed on. "So, how does it feel to be voted sexiest male footballer?" She questioned. That's right; start with the easy stuff...then gently pressure them into spilling all their secrets. That was Callie Mystic's motto.
"It felt good yes," Luur grinned, then he looked solemn again. "It was big news on Planet Xenon."
"Oh really?" Callie asked politely. "You being voted sexiest male is big news over there?"
"Everything I do is big news over there," Luur confided. "I am all they talk about."
Callie sat back, a little confused. "That's a bold statement Luur." She eventually stated.
"But it is true," Luur declared, he took out a newspaper article from somewhere –Callie didn't even want to try and guess from exactly where- behind him and showed it to her. It depicted a picture of Luur pulling out a wedgie. The title read: 'Super Star Defeats Wedgie!' "You see?"
Callie did see. The newspaper article was the headlining piece. Callie's sharp eyes zoned in on the little box at the side that read: 'More on this story on pages 2 to 20'.
"Oh...wow," She breathed. Sheesh; Callie knew that they lived in a celebrity crazy age but surely this was too much? "So, does this apply to all of the Xenon team or is your planet simply obsessed with you?" She asked, genuinely curious now.
Luur seemed to think this over. "Well...I am their main concern, but they are also interested in the goalkeeper as well...The goalkeeper and I have modelling contracts over on Planet Xenon." Luur grinned his toothy grin again.
Callie decided to skirt over this and instead decided to ask the question that had suddenly began bugging her. "Why do you keep calling him goalkeeper? Do you not know his name?" She enquired.
Luur looked a little confused by this question. "I have no need to know his name," he answered eventually. "He is the goalkeeper and that is that."
"Do you know any of your fellow team member's names?" Callie asked.
Luur stared at her for a few moments. "...do you?" He retorted. His big, black eyes narrowed and his equally big, black eyebrows furrowed.
"Yes I do actually." Callie replied proudly; she had made it her business to know the names of every single Galactik Footballer ever...and when Callie Mystic made something her business...she made it her business.
"Well so do I." Luur replied.
Callie leaned forward in her seat and smiled challengingly at the footballer. "Name them then."
Luur glowered at her then pouted as he began pondering. "Well...the goalkeeper's name is..." He looked at Callie helplessly. "Goalkeeper."
"Nope." Callie replied gleefully.
Luur glowered at her. "Well...there is a Charles on the team somewhere; there is most definitely a Charles."
"Nope, there's no Charles on your team, Luur." Callie shook her head.
"Really?" Questioned Luur, looking a little surprised. "Where am I getting Charles from then?"
"No idea." Callie smirked and shook her head.
"Oh! Oh, I know!" Luur suddenly piped up. "Right...there is definitely a D'jok on my team."
"No there isn't," Callie shook her head. "D'jok is the captain of Team Paridisia...you saved his life once remember?"
"Oh...oh yeah," Luur nodded thoughtfully. "I should probably call him or something..."
"Do you keep in contact with D'jok at all?" Callie asked brightly.
"Yes. We are best of friends." Luur confirmed.
Callie blinked. "Really? I wasn't aware."
"Well we are," Luur glared at her. "We are best of friends and he said if he ever gets married I can be his best man and I said vice versa."
"Talking of that; have you got your eye on anyone Luur?" Callie winked. "You're obviously a desirable male."
"Well considering that my species' females eats the males after mating I would say no." Luur replied plainly.
"Do you really? Isn't that murder? Not to mention cannibalism!" Callie shrieked.
Luur glowered at her. "I was joking. You are clearly a racist."
"Wha? No I'm-"
"You are a racist," Luur interrupted. "You are a racist and I am off to report you." Luur stood up.
"No!" Callie squeaked desperately; this interview had gotten way out of hand! And if Callie Mystic was going down, she'd drag a few people down with her! "Wait, before you go! I have it on good authority that D'jok continuously referred to you and your team as: 'Monsters' and 'Lizards'."
"...D'jok?" Luur turned his back on Callie.
"Yes, I know for a fact tha-" Callie was interrupted by a loud sob courtesy of the alien in front of her.
"Why would D'jok say such things?" Luur wept.
"Luur...I..." Callie trailed off.
"Shut up!" Luur screeched. "I am going to a bar to drown myself in liquor!" And with that the strong, sexy lizard man rushed from the room.
Callie watched him go, a little bewildered.
"Reckon you've dropped D'jok into some deep shit there, Callie." The Floor manager shouted.
"I think so too." Callie agreed.
There was a second or two of silence as Callie and the floor manager considered D'jok's fate and then the door opened again to reveal Warren. Ah, Warren. Callie was sure she visibly relaxed. Warren would be nice and easy to talk to. But then again...he may be hard to crack...Callie would try to make him as comfortable as possible, then, maybe, they could hear Warren's opinions on other footballers.
"Warren, welcome." Callie greeted.
"Hello Callie, how are you?" Warren replied formally as he took his seat.
"Oh come on Warren," Callie giggled nervously. "Just relax; we're just here to talk. Be your real self."
Warren paused. "Really?"
"Yes, of course." Callie assured him.
"Oh thank you," Warren said in a much camper voice than normal, he slouched back onto the couch and sighed contentedly. "Ugh, I know being serious and reliable is my whole gimmick. But, really? It gets like, sooooo boring sometimes...and it's hard!"
Callie stared at him, looking about as graceful as a chimpanzee with constipation. She had never seen Warren like this. It was like a panto or something! Eventually Callie managed to put her brain back in her head and even though it felt really surreal, she began the interview.
"So...you most definitely have a 'camera' persona, would you say Warren?" She began.
"OH. Most definitely!" Warren agreed.
"And why do you feel the need to have one?" Callie questioned.
"Oh honey so many reasons; don't want fans to lose respect, don't want to drive away merchandise deals...the whole shebang," Warren shook his head forlornly. "Only my manager knows my true self."
"Not even your fellow players know?" Callie asked, surprised.
"Well...no. They wouldn't follow a man who moves his hands like this now would they?" Warren flapped his hands around camply.
Callie stared at him in confusion. "Wouldn't they?"
"No," Warren answered, he leant back on the sofa. "Also...my manager was afraid that my 'demeanour' might hold me back from being the All-star captain."
"Why?" Callie enquired.
"He thought it might scare the younger ones on the team." Warren shrugged.
"You mean like: Sinedd, D'jok or Rocket?" Callie implied.
"Yes," Warren nodded. "Specifically Sinedd."
"Why specifically Sinedd?" Callie asked.
"Oh because I have a little crush on him." Warren reported airily.
Callie nearly choked on her own spit. "W-what?" She squawked.
"Well just look at the boy," Warren smirked. "I think most people have crushes on him."
"Yes but they're usually not old, footballing legends." Callie pointed out.
Warren scrunched up his face. "See? This is why I'm not allowed to reveal my true self...people always judge me."
"No, no I'm not judging you." Callie denied...even though she most definitely was.
"Good...because I'm fed up of it!" Warren announced shrilly.
"Yes, yes it must be hard." Callie nodded sympathetically.
"It is..." Warren moped. "It's hard for me and Sinedd to hide our love from the world."
"Wait...what?" Callie paused. "Are you and Sinedd an...item? I was under the impression that Sinedd was in a relationship with Mei."
"Well...we're not quite an item," Warren conceded. "And don't even mention that fat bitch Mei...urgh! That whore broke my poor little D'jok's heart...and now that harpies going for Sinedd's soul."
"Fond of the younger generation aren't you?" Callie murmured.
"They're so young and fresh." Warren nodded.
Callie literally nearly killed herself trying to keep the disgusted look off her face. This was TV gold...everybody was finding out Warren's true personality...his slightly worrying true personality.
"Sinedd does seem to be quite a popular young man," Callie continued, she glanced sideways at Warren trying to gauge his reaction. "He definitely seems to have made quite an impression on D'jok."
"I'd like to make an impression on him," Warren said dreamily, causing Callie to vomit in her mouth a little. "And I'd be perfectly happy if those two decided to..." The alien trailed off and winked at Callie. This was too much for the red-headed reporter, she swiftly wretched and vomited all over the legendary player.
"Euch!" Warren screeched. "OMG! Gross!" He squealed.
"I...I'm sorry," Callie apologised, wiping her mouth feverishly. "You're just so creepy."
"I am not! I am not creepy!" Warren shouted. "Who cares if I have 17 restraining orders on 17 different teenage boys? Who cares if I copped a feel of Sinedd in the first All-Star match he ever played? Who cares if I followed D'jok home once or twice?"
"Me! I care!" Callie shrieked. "Security!" She added.
Two massive burly guys ran onto the set and grabbed Warren.
"Oh Callie you're too kind." Warren purred as the two burly men dragged the alien out of sight.
"Well...that wasn't what I was expecting..." Callie murmured.
There was another few seconds of silence and then –too soon in Callie's opinion- the door opened again. This time to reveal Woo-Wam-Boo. Callie mentally slapped herself; this was going to be incredibly boring; Woo-Wam-Boo literally liked everyone.
"Welcome Woo-Wam-Boo." She greeted.
"Hey." Woo-Wam-Boo nodded, he smiled widely at her and sat down.
Callie was tired by now, so she just decided to go straight for the jugular. "So...hate anyone yet?"
"Nope." Woo-Wam-Boo returned cheerfully.
The last time they had interviewed, it had ended with Woo-Wam-Boo declaring he hated no-one and that he wished 'universal peace upon the world'.
Callie slumped back on her seat and glowered at him moodily. "Not even...Sinedd?" May as well start the ball rolling with the bad boy of Galactik Football.
"Nope." Woo-Wam-Boo smiled.
"D'jok?"
"No."
"Luur?"
"Never."
"Micro-Ice?"
"How could anyone?"
"Warren?"
"Legend of a man."
Despite the fact that she completely disagreed with this statement, Callie let it slide and continued. "Don't you hate Kernor?"
"Nah."
"Rocket?"
"We're like besties."
"Well...Lun-Zia betrayed the Wambas and left you." Callie tried desperately.
"No she didn't," Woo-Wam-Boo laughed. "She's allowed to leave. The Wamba's is anything but a prison."
"Is it a brothel?" Callie joked weakly.
Woo-Wam-Boo blinked at her. "It's a football team."
Callie groaned loudly. "Any romances going on down there?"
Woo-Wam-Boo was literally maroon straight away. Callie perked up immediately. "Do you, perhaps, have a little crush Woo-Wam-Boo?"
Woo-Wam-Boo went even more red. "...maybe...though you'll never be able to guess."
"Is it Lune-Zeara?" Callie tried.
Woo-Wam-Boo squeaked, stood up, tripped and fell on Callie, accidentally head butting her hard in the eye.
"Argh!" She screeched, holding her now blackened eye.
"I'm sorry!" Woo-Wam-Boo wailed, he reached out to help her put just ended up accidentally backhanding her around the face.
"Help!" Callie screamed as a massive red welt appeared around her face.
"No, no, I'm sorry!" Woo-Wam-Boo shrieked, he rushed to help but his foot just kicked hard into Callie's shin.
"Stop!" Callie cried, tears flooding into her eyes from the pain.
"A hug will make it better!" Woo-Wam-Boo announced brightly after a moment of worried thinking. He went to hug the reporter but she backed away and ended up falling backwards over the sofa, she hit her head hard and swiftly knocked herself out. Woo-Wam-Boo turned to the camera. "Oops?" He shrugged.
That's it for this chapter. I hope it was okay. Next chapter will be up soon. Love you all!