Disclaimer: I only own Destiny, her BOW army, and Lucas and his pack. And his cute little son! And Destiny and Chris's son! Please do enjoy this episode. Also, don't watch/ think about a zombie movie right before you go to sleep or just as you go to sleep cause you'll have mega zombie based nightmares. That is our random quote for today. Brought to you by Brad Vicker's cooking. It's the best in the studio. And Destiny's house. Onward to randomness!
Jack: How could you forget the damn tickets back to the studio?
Destiny: Simple. I don't have enough money. And Ada, Ashley, and Excella won't let me near them. I can't steal their credit cards so we can have enough to get back.
Scientist Zombie: Here's the girl's cure, Master.
Destiny: Thanks, George.
George: Yep. (Leaves)
Claire: Stay the Hell away from me, Destiny! I like my new powers!
Destiny: I'm too young to die, alright? You're brother will kill me if I don't give you the antidote! And I have his baby in my belly!
Chris: Get cured, Claire. Please.
Destiny: GET CURED FOR GOD'S SAKE, CLAIRE! TAKE THE ANTIDOTE! FOR YOUR UN-BORN NEPHEW'S LIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!
Wesker: Just do it. Destiny's in the fetal position for God's sake!
Destiny: Don't wanna die. Please.
Nurse: (Calmly petting Destiny)
Lucas: The nurse's name is Helio. Just for the record.
Claire: But why? I love my powers.
Destiny: Don't wanna die...
Rebecca: She's in the damn fetal position in a corner with some demon trying to comfort her! Take the [beep]ing antidote, Redfield!
Chris: Wow. That was really unexpected.
Claire: Oh, fine! (Takes antidote) There, happy?
Destiny: Very.
Phone: PHONE PHONE PHONE PHONE! LEOPARD!
Leon: What website do you get these from?
Destiny: None. That you need to go on. Hello?
Too lazy to log in D: *dies of laughter* haahh! Priceless! Thanks for putting in my dares and truths :3
This time:
Destiny... I dare YOU to bring in the good ol' Merchant! D:
Who else can bring the classic RE4 feeling...? :3 (then we can dare him tooo~!)
WESKER! I dare you to... (well he's done all kinds of things by now...) ...to play through the RE4 game not once using ANY of your abilities! :D And you can't get any stuff from Merchant! just a handgun... and stuff you find.
ADA! I dare you to steal a cookie from Destiny! D: And probably get killed after that by her :D
k, I'm done... BYE~!
Destiny: You're welcome. Oh, him? Someone go get in cage.
Zombie Caretakers: Okay. (Go to the basement to get Merchant)
Destiny: I think Luis getting wangpaled brings in a good feeling, too.
Saddler: IT'S A TAIL!
Leon and Destiny: Sure it is. (look at each other and hit each other)
Wesker: Stop it.
Destiny: Fine. So, let's get going.
Wesker: Why. Just why.
Phillip: Just go! Before I turn you into my mid day snack! (Throws Wesker into RE 4)
Destiny: Well, let's keep going.
Ada: {How do I steal a cookie from this chick?} (Grabs cookie off of plate near Destiny)
Destiny: GIVE ME MAH COOKIE! (Attacks Ada then noms the cookie) I like this cookie.
Luis: Keep him away from me.
Destiny: Oh, let him wangpale you agin. I thought it was funny.
Chris: Sadist.
Destiny: Thank you!
/After a few hours/
Jill: How long has he been?
Lucas: A long freaking time.
Destiny: I ran out of cookies. DAMN IT ALBERT! HURRY UP! I NEED MY COOKIES!
Wesker: (Pops out of TV) FINALLY DONE!
Junior: He went pop!
Lucas: You're right. He made a funny sound, too.
Wesker: I need a break.
Destiny: Whimp.
Phone: Well, I won't, back, down. No I won't, back, down. You can stand me up, at the gates of Hell. But I won't, back, down. Gonna stand my ground, won't be turned around. And I'll keep this world from dragging me down, but I won't, back, down.
Chris: Never would've guessed you'd be into that kind of music.
Destiny: I think that was a compliment. Hello?
Vampiregirl/ Wolfgirl:I dare Me and Chris make out because he is Hot and Weskeris NOT! and Please Have Claire killed Ashley this time so I don't hear her and Have Leon make out with Claire after Claire killed and Destiny(evil Laugh), I dare her and Weskerto the death and let them turn into monsters. I mixed up,have Claire killed Ashley I hate her and Have Claire and Leon make out after Claire killed Ashley. Dare 2: I want Weskerand Destiny turn into a monster fight to the death. And Dare 3: I want to kiss Hot Chris because 1: He's cute and 2: Wesker is not!
Destiny: Okay. Oh, Ashley.
Ashley: STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK!
Destiny:...
Wesker: Oh no. Dest, it's okay. She didn't mean it.
Ashley: I did mean it! She's a freak!
Wesker: She was called a freak by children in her classes! And even with her virus, she normal! More normal than any of us!
Destiny: Good bye! Just! Good [beep]ing bye! (Leaves and slams front door)
RE Cast: Ashley!
Ashley: Well, she deserved it.
Claire: She's my best friend. (Brutally kills Ashley. So brutal, Phillip was scared)
Destiny: Hey.
Wesker: Are you okay?
Destiny: No.
Lucas: (Revives Ashley) Mortuus Silva! Tentatio, penetro, oppugno, occurro, impugnatio, objurgo, lacesso, irruo, invado, intentio, insultus, insequor, ingruo, incurso, incursio, incurro!
Phillip: Oh crap.
Destiny: HIT THE DECK! Not you, Ashley. (Leads everyone but Ashley to basement)
/In Basement/
Chris: What was Lucas saying?
Destiny: He said and I quote, "Attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack!"
Leon: He really wanted to kill her?
Destiny: A dog is loyal to it's master. Lucas and his pack just take it to the extreme.
Wesker: They take it past extreme.
Beta: Master.
Destiny: Come on down, Beta.
Beta: Master, I wish to inform you on Alpha's request that the target has been eliminated. She put up resistance, but with the help of the pups we were able to subdue her long enough for Alpha to kill her.
Leon: You think these through, don't you?
Beta: It depends on what Alpha wants.
Destiny: Thank you, Beta.
Beta: You are welcome, Master. You are all safe to return to your chambers, Master. That is all Alpha wanted me to inform you of. (Leaves)
Wesker: Where can I get one of those?
Destiny: (Hits Wesker) C'monguys. Let's go back and see the damage. If it's too bad, then we can stay in the living room.
/Destiny's Room/
RE Cast: HOLY! (See, well, way too grusomefor something T Rated. Use your imagination for it)
Destiny: Okay, to the living room.
/Living Room/
Jill: This is cosy.
Destiny: Classy sometimes invokes a sense of calm and more peacful times in history. That, or I've had way too much sugar.
Jack: Can we just say both?
Destiny: Sure. Okay, let's do the next one.
Leon: Wow. How many people are into this one paring?
Destiny: I am.
Claire: Was that supposed to make me feel better about kissing him?
Destiny: Yes. Also, I have a surprise for everyone next episode.
Wesker: What is it?
Destiny: Not saying. It's a surprise, dummy.
Lucas: (Sitting next to Destiny's chair with Beta like watch dogs)
Joseph: Why are they doing that?
Beta: Nothing of which you need to know.
Junior: Daddy n' Beta get like this after pwotecting somethin'.
Lucas: We must protect our Master.
Destiny: And they go back to default. Okay you two, make out!
Leon: And I was hoping you forgot about it. (Grabs Claire and makes out with her)
Destiny: GO GO GO GO GO! I need to lay off the coffee. Hey Brad, can you do decaf?
Brad: Sure.
Destiny: Sweet. Thanks.
Brad: Welcome.
Chris:... I think those two want to bite me.
Lucas: Stay away from the Great Master!
Destiny: Shocky time. I hate to do this you two, but... (Gives Lucas and Beta 20,000 volts) SHOCKY TIME!
Beta: Thank you.
Lucas: Next!
Destiny: But, I'm prego. What if I lose my baby?
Chris: Then I'll kick someone's [beep].
Wesker: Oh, how cute. You actually care for my little sister.
Chris: How about I kick your [beep] instead?
Destiny: ENOUGH! I'll fight him. And I should revive that female dog.
RE Cast: What dog?
Destiny: Ashley. "Bitch" is actually the word for a female dog. And right then is the only time I letting it on the show. So little kids, tell your parents! (Attacks Wesker)
/Afer Major Sibling Fight/
Destiny: Quick! Steal Ashley's wallet! Then give me her credit card!
Junior: Wight! (Runs upstairs, giggles, gets wallet, and runs back down stairs to Destiny) Here, Master!
Destiny: Thanks. (Takes Ashley's credit card and revives her)
Ashley: Why has no one killed you yet?
Wesker: I'd kill them.
Vampiregirl/ Wolfgirl: (Breaks into house, makes out with Chris, and runs away) I KISSED HIM!
RE Cast:...
Destiny:... She picked the lock. Nice one. You win this round.
Phone: HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI!
Leon: MAKE IT STOP!
Destiny: Uh, hello?
Biohazardous Fears: (Pen)Name: Biohazardous Fears
Occupation (Fake): ...Let's just say Wesker and Chris know me, even if they don't know it...
Pet's Sex: Female
Reasons For Buying Cerberus Puppy: I really love dogs and In my line of work, a Cerberus would be handy! I would also like to have a loving, cute, blood-thirsty companion! Also my birthday is on the 20th, and a puppy is my present to myself!
I, Destiny Wesker, am not responsible for any damage, death, or random and gruesome killings of your new pet. You, BiohazardousFears, are the one who must see to and be in control of your CERBERUS PUPPY.
Signed, Destiny Wesker, Breeder/ Owner/ Hostess/ Tyrant
Signed, Biohazardous Fears (バイオハザーダスフィアル）
=D I cant wait for my puppy! I think I will name her, Muffins. And anyway, Wesker, Chris I smell a love hate relationship! OK well I will duly note.
KRAUSER HAS HAD NO DARES!
Ada has been like over flowed with dares after I pointed out that she hasn't had any,I think it's someone elsesturn! Also just letting everyone here know Wesker will always PWN Chris. Mostly because Wesker's voice alone would make 99.99% of girls melt like butter. Rebecca, Jill, Ada, Ashely, Sheva, you have to admit Wesker's voice is AMAZING. Excella, you are a [BEEP]ing [BEEP][BEEP][BEEP][BEEP]slut. Wesker has never and will never like you. ALSO, STOP HATING ON ASHELY! SHE KILLED TO ZEALOTS WITH A /LAMP/! A LAMP! So Leon cut her some slack , not much but just a little. Ok Truth time
Jill: Have you ever suffered from Stockholm Syndrome at least once in your life?
Chris: Really? You say you love Jill but I have only seen your tongue in Wesker's mouth... Please explain your self. (You have made out with him EVEN WHEN IT WAS NOT DARED TO DON'T PULL THE WHOLE "I was dared to" SHAISA ON ME!
Rebecca: You and Billy are cute! When are you two getting married?
Destiny: Just wonderingif I had to go to work and couldn't take Muffins with me. Would it be okfor me to drop her off and let her play with other Cerberi? I think that would be good for her social skills!
H.U.N.K.: Dude, I need you to cover that assassination on Thursday, I have other plans and I can't be two places at once thanks. And TAKE THAT MASK OFF! We all know your cutie!... At least we all hope...
Ok, I think that's it for now! HAVE FUN! Oh, really quick.
JILL AND ADA DIDN'T KISS! I DEMAND A PUNISHMENT! But only for Ada, because I don't like her.
Destiny: Oh, well just since it's your birthday...
RE Cast: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Destiny: Here, an extra Cerberus puppy for you! A male so you can breed them, too! I'll give people gifts on their birthdays. Just to show Ashley that I am a human being with feelings that can be nice. Which I am. To a select few. I hope you enjoy your new puppy, my friend!
Junior: Have fun my accomplice! Have fun with your new Master!
Joseph: Cute!
Destiny: Now, onto the dares. It's the only reason people even watch this show.
Jack: WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT! NOW THEY'LL START DARING ME!
Destiny: (Spits drink back into cup and laughs) Do it, guys! Just to see the look on his face!
RE Girls: Yeah.
Destiny: No because I'm his little sister and it would be incest and neither of us are into that. Nor will we ever be.
Wesker: (Breaks out laughing) Bio- Biohazardous Fears is right! HAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU'RE SO DAMN PATHETIC! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Chris: I pray to never see this side of Wesker ever again.
Destiny: Same here. Also, I just hate her. I have my reasons, too. Undisclosed reasons that shall remain hidden. Bark bark woof.
Wolf-Dog: (Howls and licks Destiny's hand)
Lucas: The randomness never stops! Next!
Jill: Yeah, no. At least, I don't think so.
Chris: He puts his tonugein my mouth! I don't do it willingly! I swear he's bi! Or something!
Wesker: I'm not. The fangirls posses me. They do! And they can!
Fangirl: We can! We can!
Destiny: Fangirlscan posses people. We can, we can. Moving on.
Billy and Rebecca: We aren't getting married.
Destiny: Sure sure! Local interacting within the community of pups serves them well for later on in life. We'd be more than happy!
Junior: Yeah yeah! Old friend coming for playtime practice!
HUNK: Sure. And no, it's not coming off.
Nurse: (Takes HUNK's mask off)
RE Girls: HE IS HOT!
Ada: Oh God! She's going to kill me!
Destiny: Actually, I was just gonna have you clean my basement and clean up Lucas, Junior, Beta, and Flower's poo, but that's a better idea! But I do need someone to do those for me. So, LickerBeta Squad Thirteen! Attack Ada Wong with all you've got!
Licker Betas: (Attack Ada and lick her bones clean)
Wesker: Again, where do I get one of those?
Destiny: (Hits Wesker in the head) Bad boy, Brother. Bad boy.
Wesker: I AM NOT A PET! (Hit in head with newspaper) Knock it off!
Destiny: Oh, no. Sorry. Hey, look. A TV.
Phone: FISH FISH FISH FISH. Joseph likes to- beep beep beep.
Joseph: WHAT WAS THAT PHONE ABOUT TO SAY!
Destiny: Nothing! Hello?
DigiCat99: Hiya again! Hoped you liked the cooking show but shame on you Chris! I dare you to go to cooking class! Oh, and I also dare everyone to watch 2 girls 1 cup god that gave me nightmares. AND I dare everyone to have a picnic and the cooks are the one who cooked AWESOME last chapter. =3
Destiny: Hi hi!
Chris: I did go. I blew up the kitchen there, too.
Wesker: You can't be trusted withany cooking, can you?
Chris: No. Not at all.
Phillip: Come on. You can be the new kid in my class. (Takes Chris to his cooking class)
Destiny: Random.
Claire: He's gonna get kicked out.
Lucs: This so won't end well. For them. But it will for me.
RE Cast: Wait, we have to do what?
Destiny: Oh, oh God! (Runs to bathroom) Not again. ALBERT! I DIDN'T MAKE IT!
Wesker: (Mumbles something about Destiny's weak stomach)
/After Watching2 Girls One Cup/
Destiny: My poor, poor belly.
Leon: Being honest, I liked it.
RE Girls: Pervert.
Phillip: GUYS GUYS! CHRIS COOKED SOMETHING! AND IT'S NOT TOXIC!
RE Cast: WHAT? HOLY HELL! (Try Chris's food) Oh my God.
Destiny: More! Need more! Feed the prego! I'm holding your child!
Chris: That's all I made. Sorry.
Destiny: Meanie.
Wesker:... (Hiccups) CRAP!
Destiny: HA! Pay up, Carlos.
Carlos: Damn. (Pays Destiny 50 bucks)
Destiny: Merci, my friend.
Lucas: Picnic? I haven't been to one since I was young. And that was before I was infected. Those memories... They seemed so far off until now... That word... must've triggered something. I- I don't understand. What's happened to my memory?
Phillip: Should I kill him?
Destiny: NO! What's wrong with you? I think the memories the T-Virus had suppressed have re-awoken. It's confusing him. It's either we let him suffer from this, or put his memories back to sleep. Or just try to calm him down. Let's go to a picnic first!
/At Picnic Grounds/
Destiny: Smell that nice, fresh, clean, uninfected air!
Chris: Oh, you're funny.
Destiny: No need to be sarcastic, Christopher. Today's a nice day in New Raccoon City. Even if we are in NYC.
Jill: Wait, so the place we've been filming is named after Raccoon City? What the Hell?
Destiny: Shut up. It's canon for an upcoming story. Also, I got Degeneration, but haven't watched it yet. Do you guys wanna watch it with me?
RE Cast: Sure.
Destiny: Yay.
/After picnic/
Destiny: And life is a road and I wanna keep going, love is a river I wanna keep flowing, life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey.
Wesker: Singing mood?
Destiny: Yep. That's a good song, too.
Phone: Baby, baby, baby oh! Like baby, baby, baby no! Thought you'd always be mine!
RE Cast: MAKE IT STOP!
Destiny: Just because of his voice you have to bash on him. Jerks. Hello hello hello?
Fangedfrog: Cerberus are cute, but do you have any Colmillos? I would be very interested in one, if you did. It just seems to bother my guests a bit to find bits of rotting dog about the house. :)
Anyways, I had a question earlier, now I have a dare.
Wesker, we all know Capcom really screwed up in RE5, and Chris should not have beaten you in the manner in which he did. But how would you two have fared if your positions had been reversed?
I dare Wesker and Chris to relive the entire RE story in the other one's shoes. Your respective personalities will remain the same.
Chris, try not to screw this up, too, insufferable moron, trying to take over the world is harder than it looks.
Wesker, here's a box of homemade cookies, assorted flavors. Good luck!
Destiny: Any what?
Wesker: Please don't fry her poor brain. It's already been tortured by that movie. We don't need it to die out on us.
Destiny: No, really. What are Colmillos?
RE Cast: Don't ask.
Destiny: Ooooookaaaaaaaay. First, the cookies. Albert, their my cookies.
Wesker: GIVE! (Attacks Chris, whom was holding the box) Gimme those cookies, Redfield!
Chris: Take them! Damn!
Wesker: Mine! (Devours cookies)
RE Cast: Woah.
Destiny: That's why I don't make cookies so often. He eats them before anyone else has a chance.
Wesker: Great, I need to fulfill that moron's role.
Chris: I have to do your role!
Wesker and Chris: DON'T MAKE US GO, DESTINY!
Destiny:... (Pushes Wesker and Chris into game portal)
/After quite some time/ [A/N: I'm lazy. What more do you expect?]
Destiny: Lemme guess: Albert didn't like his role so much, keep trying to off himself, and Chris was vice versa.
Wesker and Chris: Pretty much.
Phone: If you look though my eyes. All the things you can change, there's a need in everything. And you will find all you need. There's so much to understand!
Excella: Mind getting good, much less moronic ringtones for you phone? The ones you have are as dumb as Redfield.
Destiny: I'm happy my brother had you killed! You're just a stuck-up piece of crap! Why do you try to chance the person I am? [Beep] you! I'm done with your [beep]! Take her away!
Lickers: (Take Excella into look-in room labeled "Torture Chamber")
Destiny: Much better. Hello?
Hidden By Shadow: Congratulations to every STARS member and William for actually beating their dares! Chris, you need to listen, my dare didn't actually say the others couldn't go with you to the shopping mall, only that you, Claire, Alfred and Alexia had to. So, more dares!
Chris: Since you failed quite badly, I'm sending you to a specialist, someone who can actually put you in a life or death situation. I am of course referring to the Jigsaw Killer, John Kramer. It's up to Destiny which trap you have to face. Live or die Chris, make your choice. Let the games begin.
Alfred: You need help, so I'm sending you to go and see Dr Michael Kaufmann from Silent Hill: Shattered Memories.
Claire: I've booked you a flight to Paris. The flight number is 180.
Alexia: I'm giving you a '58 Plymouth Fury. (Do Not Tell Alexia: It's got a remote control for it that will override the car's controls. Give this to Steve as soon as Alexia leaves. It's up to him what he does with it.)
Annette: Now that your husband is on the road to being a good dad, let's sort out your parenting skills, or lack thereof. I'm sending in three people who'll be able to teach you how to be a good parent; Jenova from Final Fantasy 7, Dahlia Gillespie from Silent Hill and Anima Seymour's mother from Final Fantasy 10.
Wesker: You have a choice. Truth: Whilst working for RPD, did you ever bond with your team as friends? or Dare: Teach all of the children of RE (Sherry, Ashley, anyone under 18 who starred in the games) biology.
Ashley: How can you still not be competant at dealing with BOWs after the others taught you self defence? Well, there is one final person I can think of who can whip you into shape. Two actually. Alice from the RE films and The Boss from Metal Gear Solid 3! You have to spend a month with them as they train you up to take down any threat. To test this, when you come back you'll be going through the Code Veronica battle mode as if you were Claire.
Brad, William and the STARS members: Since you managed to complete your dares successfully, you may dare Destiny, Lucas, any of Destiny's pets/helpers or even me to complete any dare given to any of you thus far.
Those who beat their dares: Thank you!
Destiny: You made some people happy, HBS.
Ada: Do you give nicknames to all the callers?
Destiny: Only the ones who make my tounge tickle and itch.
RE Cast: Oooookaaaaaaaaay.
Destiny: JIGSAW! OH HELL YES! TEACH HIM A LESSON, JOHN! TEACH HIM GOOD! WOO!
Chris: I hate you.
Destiny: Dude, he's like the best when it comes to teaching people lessons! He even changed people for the better! He's awsome! And you get to meet him! Oo! Get an autograph for me, Chris! Please! (Hands Chris small little book)
Chris: Sure. Just before he decides to KILL ME!
Destiny: Oh thank you! (Hugs Chris)
Wesker: You like the strangest things.
Destiny: How so?
Wesker: I've caught you in the middle of the night with KFC in you mouth, mashed potatoes in one hand, and gravy in the other.
Destiny: Those were fun times. Now, get going, Chris! (Sends Chris to Jigsaw)
Alfred: Who?
Destiny: What. The. Hell. Not. Him. He just can't help. I'm kidding. I'm hoping to see Alfred turn into Mira. I love that dog. He's so cute.
Wesker: Yes. He is a cute dog.
Kaufmann: Where's the crazy man?
RE Cast: Which one? Alfred Ashford, or Albert Wesker?
Kaufmann: Uh, Alfred Ashford.
Destiny: Here, Doc. (Gives Alfred to Kaufmann) Bye! Have fun! Next!
Claire: Oh, thanks.
Destiny: Lucky. Can you buy us stuff? Ooo! Can you get a tiny module of the Eiffel Tower?
Claire: Uh, sure.
Destiny: Cool! Thanks. Have fun!
Claire: I hope I do. (Leaves for airport)
Destiny: Next away!
Alexia: A car? Better than nothing. I guess. (Gets in and starts to drive)
Jack: How big is this place?
Destiny: I installed a door for cars over there because sometimes I fall asleep and crash into the house. So why not have a door so I can park my car somewhere, right? (Opens door and gives controls to Steve) Just don't total the car, okay? I want it.
Steve: Sure thing. (Plays around with the controls, managing to kill Alexia by slamming her into the windshield too many times) That was fun. Can I keep the controls?
Destiny: No. You can play with them on the weekends. But that's it.
Steve: Deal. (Gives Destiny the controls)
Lucas: (Revives Alexia) Next, next, and away!
Annette: What?
Destiny: JENOVA! REALLY! HERE? What, are Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz gonna be here too? I don't want them here! Keep them away!
Chris: Oh my God! Oh my God! I never thought I'd be happy to be here! Keep him awy from me! I've changed!
?: Wow, Chris. That's the most pathetic thing I've seen you do. I'm ashamed right now.
RE Cast: Who said that?
Destiny: Melody Redfield. She's from the Alternate Universe of RE. There, she's the cousin of Chris and Claire, and the events in the games NEVER take place. She also accompanies Chris to work, and cleans up when they leave on a mission.
Melody: There's also a plot line where I go into a coma and wake up four years later. Leon is my love interest in the events a few days before and after I wake up from the coma. Sorry, but if you don't want to know about any upcoming stories that may or may not be relased, do not read this little bit of info as it contains many Spoilers. Thank you.
Lucas: We needed a co-hostess. Two male co-hosts can be annoying sometimes.
Phillip: Yep.
Jill: How'd you even get to our universe?
Melody: Oh! DC-PS1017 came into my universe and offered me a job.
William: Sooo, the author has the ability to cross over to different universes to fulfill her own needs?
Destiny: I guess. Sooooooo, getting back on track.
Jenova: Come with us.
Dahlia: We shall teach you proper care for your child.
RE Cast: YOU TRIED TO KILL YOUR DAUGHTER TO BIRTH YOUR GOD! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT PROPER PARENTING?
Dahlia: Do you need to be concerned?
Destiny: Well, yeah. If these guys are hurt or scarred for life by someone outside my contract, then I get sued and lose my job here. Right now, in this universe [A/N: What I call the ToD Universe!], it's the only job I have. I do care about the cast, but for some only to a certain degree. But for her, just don't try to set her on fire. If you do, I'll find you. And I will kill you.
Dahlia: Freak.
Destiny: At least I don't try to fry my kid to birth a God. You're the freak. Not me.
Dahlia: Well, at least I don't change into some freakish monster.
Destiny: At least I'm. Still. Alive.
RE Cast: Ooooo!
Dahlia:...I hate you.
Destiny: Burn. (Throws the four out of her house) Now, to get back on track.
RE Cast: Why is Melody here?
Melody: Did you not pay attention to the whole Spoiler paragrah I said?
RE Cast: Not really.
Destiny: Now do you see why they get on my nerves?
Melody: Very much so. Yes. They had the memory span of a goldfish.
Destiny: Isn't a goldfish's memory span like, five seconds long and they forget it?
Melody: That's what I read on the internet. Let's keep moving on, shall we?
Destiny: Yes, lets. Next. Answer, brother.
Wesker: Enrico. He was something close to a friend at the time.
Enrico: And yet you don't give a flying crap I'm dead in the games, do you?
Wesker: Not a bit.
Chris: I'm happy I blew your head off.
Wesker: (Punches Chris in the gut)
Jill: You're an [beep].
Wesker: So what?
Chris:... I can't feel my intestine.
Melody: Okay, where's my Chris? From my universe? I thought he followed me into the portal.
AU Chris: MELODY!
Destiny: (Looks up at ceiling) Oh I wish we were back in the studio.
Lucas: Why?
Destiny: Look up.
RE Cast and Melody: (Look up at celing)
Melody: Cousin!
AU Chris: (Falls into room through roof)
Destiny: This is gonna be a tough one to explain to the company.
AU Chris: Melody!
Melody: Chris! Where were you?
AU Chris: I have no idea. It was some foggy town place. I didn't like it.
Destiny: That's Silent Hill. Did you hear anything weird there?
AU Chris: No. I was just worried that Melody was going to be hurt.
Lucas:... Can we send AU Chris back? It's bad enough having one.
Destiny: Thanks for asking. (Throws AU Chris into portal back to his universe)
Melody: I WON'T BE BACK FOR A WHILE, CHRIS!
AU Chris: OKAY!
Portal Guardian: The Hell was that?
RE Cast: Nothing.
Portal Guardian: Okay. (Closes portal)
Destiny: Mooooooooooooving on.
Ashley: Oh shut up! Maybe I don't want to fight!
RE Cast: Weakling.
Ashley: Hey!
Alice: Come on, you whimp.
Ashley: Make me!
Destiny: (Snaps fingers and Lickers surround Ashley)
Ashley: Okay, I'm coming. (Leaves with Alice and Boss)
Phillip: Next.
William, Brad, and rest of STARS: Sweet!
William: You have to act like the perfect parent, Destiny.
Destiny: Cool. So, Sherry, what do ya want to do?
Sherry: Can we go to the park?
Destiny: Sure! (Takes Sherry to park)
William: She's a natural.
Wesker: Well, she was an orphan, and had me as a brother.
William: I feel pathetic.
Lucas: Lions are better parents than you are. And the males try to eat the cubs. That says how bad you are. Next.
Brad: Lucas, watch all those movies.
Lucas: Sweet! (Runs into film room) KILL HER! KILL HER!
RE Cast: He's so not sane.
Phillip: I'm the one who grew up with him.
Destiny: THERE ARE FREAKIN' ZOMBIE PANTHERS OUTSIDE! THE WHOLE ZOO WAS INFECTED AND THEY FOLLOWED ONLY US HOME! I'M NOT LYING!
RE Cast: (Look out the windows and see zombie panthers) HOLY CRAP!
Everyone: (Scream at the top of their lungs)
Destiny: Wait, I'm one of them. Some what. (Goes outside and kills the zombie panthers) I let one of the babies live.
Baby Zombie Panther: Roar. (Bites Random Zombie)
Lucas: Why's there a baby zombie panther in here? New pet?
Destiny: Sure.
STARS:...We forgot our dares.
Destiny: Ha. So sad, really. I wanted my zombies to do a few of those things. Too bad, huh?
STARS: Very.
Phone: I like my sitar, I like my sitar. I play the sitar, sitar. Where ever I go, oh oh oh.
Wesker: Bad Destiny.
Destiny: Shut up, Albert. Hello?
Talon Wade: Talon again. I dare Wesker to go to Silent Hill for about a week, and I dare Leon to fight a lot of demons using a sword and two pistols while wearing a Dante costume. After the week of being in Silent Hill, I dare Wesker to have a death match with Chris.
Destiny: Cool. Get an autograph from Pyramid Head for me, Albert! (Gives Wesker pic of PH and sends him to Silent Hill) Let's watch for just a minute.
/Silent Hill/
Wesker: Hey, Pyramid Head!
PH: (Moans)
Wesker: Before you kill me, can you sign this photo for my little sister? She's a big fan of yours.
PH: (Nods and signs photo, then kills Wesker)
/Destiny's House/
Destiny: Cool! Ooohhh Leon!
Leon: Shut up! (Puts on Dante costume) I'm going to kill you, Destiny.
Destiny: No, because I'm prego. Anyway, there are demons just outside the house. Go get 'em, Leon. (Throws Leon out the house) Next!
/One Week Later/
Destiny: Welcome back, Albert!
Wesker: Leon's out there fighting demons, you know.
Destiny: Still? Wow. Well, one GIVE ME MY PIC!
Wesker: Here. He even put my blood on it.
Destiny: Yay! (Takes pic and puts in frame) Go have your little match thingy.
Chris & Wesker: FINALLY! (Attack each other)
Leon: I LIVED! Here, I got you this claw. It was in my leg. (Gives Destiny large demon claw)
Destiny: Yay! Thank you!
Wesker: I win. (Points to the dead Chris)
Chris: I'm still alive.
Destiny: DEADITE! (Shoots Chris dead) It's dead now.
Lucas: No, that really was Chris.
Destiny: Oh. Nevermind then. (Revives Chris) Sorry. I watch The Evil Dead series too much.
Chris: Ya think?
Phone: Just answer the phone!
Destiny: Cool! I mean, uh, bad phone!
Chris: STOP TALKING TO YOUR PHONE!
Destiny: Make me. Hello, what's up?
Combat235: I just have one dare. I dare Chris to... divide by zero.
Destiny: Go ahead, Chris.
Chris: I... CAN'T! (Dies of brain damage)
Destiny: Well, that's our show for today.
Lucas: Please call in.
Baby Zombie Panther: (Stares cutely at the camera)
Destiny: Aw. I'm keeping you. And I promise: Next episode we'll all be back in the studio.
Melody: I'm leaving now. (Opens portal back to her universe) I'm so unused to this stuff. I'm a little scarred. I think I'm safer in my universe. Sorry.
Destiny: Awww! Well, bye, Mel.
Melody: See ya around, Dest. (Jumps into portal as it closes)
Junior: Hi! Pwease call in.
Destiny: See you guys around!
Yep. No comments. Please call in. That is all.