Disclaimer: I only own Destiny, her BOW army, and Lucas and his pack. And his cute little son! And Destiny and Chris's son! Please do enjoy this episode. Also, don't bite down on Jolly Ranchers if you want to keep your teeth. That is all.
Destiny: We are back in the studio!
RE Cast: Thank God.
Destiny: You guys didn't like my house? YOU'RE ALL MEANIES! (Runs into closet)
Lucas: Okay, I won't ask.
Phillip: When did you learn it was best not to ask?
Lucas: Shut up, Phil.
Phillip: MY NAME IS PHILLIP!
Joseph: Aww! The Cerberi pups wanna play with me!
Lucas: No, they want to eat you.
Joseph: Oh. Well, then. (Jumps onto rafters) KEEP THEM AWAY!
Destiny: Damn. And I thought we cured him.
RE Cast: When'd you get out of the closet?
Destiny: Hahaha. So funny. I'm not gay, you guys.
Everyone: (Hit themselves on the head) You dufus.
Destiny: I was trying to be funny. I know what you meant. Geez.
Wesker: You're too abnormal.
Destiny: Says the guy who looks like one of the creepy monsters.
Chris: Couldn't he have been classified as a- (Hit by Destiny) Ow!
Destiny: Christopher! This is a T-Rated show, you dipstick! No saying that!
Jill: What? Tent- (Hit by Junior)
Junior: Weeeee! Again!
Destiny: Do you want me off the air?
RE Cast: A little.
Phone: Life is a road and I wanna keep going. Love is a river I wanna keep flowing. Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey. In the end I wanna be standing at the begining... with you.
Merchant: Does your phone always do that?
Destiny: I thought your cage was on a rope eight feet above the floor. And you were in it.
Merchant: I climbed out.
Destiny: What ever, man. Hello?
Biohazardous Fears: =D Muffins and Bazooka (what I named the male) are very cute and they are just like puppies! Well they are but they are so cute and evil at the sametime! Its PERFECT!
HUNK thanks so much! Wesker agreeing with me? Thatsnew.. I like. Ok Chris I totally belevie you (nooootttt) Anywho, HUNK, I dare you to make you with my OC Valrey Redfield! (Chris and Jill's kid ^^) *has video to record makeout seesion*
Destiny: Cool. Muffins and Bazooka can come over any time you can't have them.
Junior: Yippie!
Joseph: NOT AGAIN! THEY'LL EAT ME!
Cerburi Pups: Food. (Stare at Joseph)
Destiny: Oh boy.
Chris: Gee, thanks Biohazardous Fears. I really appricate it.
Wesker: Sarcasm never gets you anywhere, Chris.
Chris: (Punches Weskerin the happy place) I'm not in the mood for your bull today, Wesker.
Destiny: Oooo, Chris standing up for himself.
HUNK: What and why?
Phillip: (In deep scary voice) DO IT BEFORE I RIP YOUR HEAD OFF YOUR BODY, FEED YOUR HEADLESS CORPSE TO T-VIRUS MUTANTS AND THROW YOUR HEAD INTO THE DEEPEST PITS OF HELL!
RE Cast: Eeep!
Destiny: Nice one. Now, do it HUNK.
HUNK: (Makes out with Valrey)
Biohazardous Fears: (Poofs into room with video camera) This is good.
Destiny: (Takes out own camera) I agree.
/After ten minutes of making out/
Biohazardous Fears: I have all the footage I need.
Destiny: Same here. Black mail, here I come! See ya, Bio!
Biohazardous Fears: See ya. (Poofs away with Valrey)
Destiny: Well, that was fun.
Lucas: Joseph is both asleep and hanging on a rafter.
Destiny:... Wtf. (Looks and sees Joseph) Hey! Those were my pretzel M&Ms! (Turns into first form and attacks the sleeping STARS member)
Phillip: It's a good thing we're co-hosts.
Lucas: Yeah, or else no one would be able to control Destiny. She's even more homicidal than before 'cause of the baby.
Chris: I'm still proud of myself. Two whole days. Best record of all time.
Wesker: (Beats Chris senseless) Don't EVER remind me of those days!
Destiny: Okay then. Albert, stop. He's near dead and we still need him.
Wesker: (Stops pummeling Chris) What?
Destiny: Nevermind then.
Phone: Don't wanna talk about it, I say why not? Don't wanna think about it, I say there's got to be some good reason for your little black, backpack, upsmack, turn around he's on his back and don't wanna tango with you, I'd rather tango with him. I think I'm gonna bash his head in.
Lucas: ShadowLeggy on YouTube got you addicted?
Destiny: And to Stupid MF, too. Hello?
Combat235: Hi again, I found my last dare to be not all that good. So to make it up, I got more dares!
Albert Wesker
You consider yourself to be God. Well,prove it to us! You have two options:
Dare 1: I dare you to battle some of the most powerful beings known in fiction: Goku (SSJ4),Vegeta (SSJ4), Gogeta (SSJ4), and Vegito (SSJ4). You win the dares by either: beating you opponents, or suriive without dying for 1 hour.
Dare 2: I dare you to battle someof the most powerfu villians known in fiction: Freeza (Final 100%), Cell (Super Perfect), Buu (Gohan, Gotenks, Piccolo absorbed) Kid Buu, and Omega Shenron. (What? I love DBZ.)
If you manage to win one of your dares, your reward is: you get to do anthing you want with the RE Cast for as long as you want till you're done.
If you manage to win both dare (optional) your reward: get to take control the fanfic for the next three chapters. (Who knows Dragonclaw-Phoenixstar1017, you might do something good.)
But if you lose or refuse the dare, the RE cast gets to choose your punishment:
1. The RE cast gets to do whatever they want with you for as long as they want till they are done.
2. You will be a slave to the rest of the RE cast for the next three chapters.
3. Have homosexual intercourse with Chris for three hours straight with no breaks.
4. Strip nude and be thrown to a pit of Wesker fangirls/boys.
Destiny Wesker
Since you are a prego, you get no dares or truths. Oh and here is a plate of your cookies of your desire and Chris tasty cooking that you like! But for the father...
Chris Redfield
You have to go through every single RE and RE related games without heal items, special attacks, save poits, maps, can not buy from the Merchant, attack sequences, cutscences that will lead you to winning, and no weapons so you have to fight with your bare hands! You succeed by winning through all games, you lose if you die or refuse the dare.
If you win, you can either get:
1. Get married to Jill and have kids.
2. Get three wishes. (But you can't wish to be married to Jill or have kids with her.)
If you lose, Weskergets to choose:
1. Wesker gets to do anything to you for as long as he wants till he is done.
2. You Become Wesker's slave and servant for the next three chapters.
3. You get strapped, chained, and nailed to a stainless steel chair and be forced to watch Wesker as he gets to have intercourse with Jill and have kids with her.
Jill Valentine
You have to go throug all the RE games you have appeared in with only a knife, and all enemies are super-powered and have high health and endurence. For RE5, you take Chris's place with no help from Sheva and still with only a knife and all enemies are super-powered.
If you win:
1. You gain immortality and your old appearence if you want.
2. Three wishes (No you can't wish for immortality or anythiny related or your old appearence back.)
If you die or refused (option will be chosen randomly):
1. You will be teleported back to the room where you are about to become a Jill sandwitch and be stuck there and suffer your fate and Barry gets to choose to eat you or not.
2. Be locked up with Nemesis and he gets to do whatever you want with you.
3. Be locked up with Destiny's zombies and they get to do what ever they want with you.
Claire Redfield
Like Jill you will replay all the games you appeared in with only a knife while wearing a bikini. Oh, and all enemy attacks are one-hit kills.
If you win:
1. You get all your powers back and don't have to be cured if you dont want to and nobody else can do anything about it.
2. You get to choose who you want to be with and no one can do anything about it.(It doesn't have to be with Steve or Leon.)
If you die or refuse (Chosen Randomly):
1. Steve gets to do whatever he wants to with you.
2. Leon gets to do whatever he wants to do with you.
3. Eh, I'll leave it to Destiny.
Leon S. Kennedy
You have to protect Sherry and Ashley and play through all the RE games with only a knife and standard handgun.
If you win:
1. You get Claire if you want, and no one else can do anything about. (Yes that includes you Steve)
2. You get to choose what you want (But you can't have Claire.)
If either of you die or refuse (Randomly chosen):
1. You will be under Saddler's and Salazar's control for the next three chapters (No you are not allowed to inject virues or parasites into him.)
2. Jack Krauser gets to do anything he wants to you for as long as he likes.
3. You will strapped, chained, nailed, and melded into a steel chair and be forced to watch Steve take Claire and have kids with her.
Well thats all for now. Got to save room for other dares. Have fun!
Destiny: Woah that is one long dare. Dude, I really like the fact you're into giving dares, but one can only handle so much. Damn.
Wesker: I have no idea who half these people are.
Destiny: What's DBZ?
Everyone: Nothing!
Wesker: Please don't fry her brain. It's already damaged enough.
Destiny: (Picking at Joseph, trying to get large bag of Pretzel M&M's) Gimme.
Wesker: See?
Destiny: (Pokes the sleeping Joseph with a stick) Mine.
Wesker: And correction, I do not know ANOYONE from Dragon Ball Z. Or anyone mentioned in the dares.
Destiny: You get to do the punishments, then.
Chris: Can I choose?
Lucas: Why?
Jill: Revenge.
Destiny: Sure. I want my snacky, Frost! (Trys to kick Joseph off the rafter) Damnit!
Chris: I choose number 4!
Random BOWS: (Come and strip Wesker to the nude and throw him into Rabid Fan Pit)
Destiny: ZOMG! Thankys! (Happily eats food while STILL trying to get her M&M's)
Claire: Damn, she must really love her M&M's.
Wesker: YOU DON'T KNOW THE HALF IT! AAHH! DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!
Chris: I'll do it!
Destiny: And thus another plot is somewhat born! Gimme, dude!
/Several Hours Later/
Destiny: Success! (Slips off rafter) Weeeee! (Caught by Leon) Thanks!
Leon: Sure. (Puts the BOW down)
Chris: I WON! Now, can I use a spare room? (Grabs Jill by the wrist)
Destiny: Hm? Oh, yeah sure. Just don't trash it. Pay a lot of money to make those rooms look good.
Chris: Thanks! (Drags Jill off)
Destiny: Jill! Wait! I need to know something first!
Jill: What?
Destiny: Why were you absent from Resident Evil: Extinction!
Jill: I don't know! (Dragged into room by Chris)
Phillip: Well, at we least we got an answer.
Destiny: Yep. Next! (Swallows Pretzel M&M)
Jill: I'M BUSY!
Destiny: Riiiiiight. Skip Next, then!
Claire: Sweet!
Wesker: (Climbs out of Fan Pit) Freedom! And did I hear mention of a bikini?
Ashley: Your brother's a pervert.
Destiny: Yeah, I've noticed. Scary part is you get used to it after a few years.
Sherry: No, that's just creepy.
Destiny: Aren't you a little young to be in the conversation?
Sherry: Aren't you a little old to be fangirling over Leon? Or Ark?
Destiny: Touche, but I'm not that old. And you aren't getting my age, either. Now shh, and observe.
Wesker: Dear Heart, I know you have what it takes to make it through these challenges. Please, do them for me.
Claire:... Wtf?
Destiny: Off you go! (Throws Claire into game with bikini)
Wesker: You will let her win, correct?
Destiny: You have no say in Fate, Brother! No say at all! Fate has her in it's grasp, and you can do nothing!
Chris: (Comes in half naked) What are you going on about, Dest?
Ark: Something about Fate, or some bull[beep] like that.
Jill: I had dares?
Lucas: After Claire's done.
Phillip: I think your brother likes this a little too much.
Destiny: (Staring at Ark in both pity and fangirlishness) What?
Ark: (Does double take) WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME?
Lucas: She's a fangirl of yours. Although I don't think you have many. So be happy, mister!
Junior: Be happy! Yip yip!
Joseph: I found these... I don't know but it looks like food.
Destiny: GOD DAMNIT! STOP DIGGING INTO MY FOOD!
Wesker: Hopefully you didn't hide any ca- (Cut off by Destiny)
Destiny: AND IF YOU TOUCH MY CAKE I'MA TEAR YOU TO SHREDS! WORSE THAN WHAT THE CERBERI DID TO YOU! FAR WORSE!
Wesker: I was going to say you hopefully didn't hide any cake up there. But nevermind now.
Claire: Dude that was so fun and easy! The guys kept staring at me, so I took 'em down easily.
Ark: And you're still wearing a bikini.
Wesker: Oh, let her wear it. (Stares at Claire)
Destiny: (Zapps her brother with car battery voltage) Bad Albert, bad! No pervertness here! Into your Rabids Pit! (Throws her brother into his rabid fangirl pit)
Wesker: DAMNIT DESTINY!
Destiny: Here, your powers back. (Reinjects Clarie with viruses)
Claire: Sweet!
Lucas: Uh, I think Wesker's litterally getting torn limb from limb.
Junior: Molecule by molecule.
Phillip: Atom by atom.
Destiny: SHUT UP! YOU'RE KILLING MY BRAIN! (Falls into fetal position)
Wesker: (Runs back onto stage and hides behind Brad) KEEP THEM AWAY FROM ME!
Jill: (Thrown into game portal)
Flower: You know, Junior, if she does win and she chooses to be immortal, she is not truly immortal.
Lucas: You are right, my mate. Everyone and everything has a weakness somewhere, and once it's found the results are normally death.
Beta: So you must learn, young Alpha, that even if you are the most powerful being in all of the world, that will be your downfall: your power over others.
Destiny:... Why did we just get a lesson in power and immortality?
Everyone: Who cares anymore?
Jill: (Falls out of game portal) I... I LOST!
Destiny: (Pulls out hat and digs around) And your punishment is... Getting locked up with some of my zombies! Congrats, Miss Valentine!
BOWs: (Applaud as Jill is placed in room with windows with zombies)
Destiny: Let's see what the zom-zoms are gonna do to Jilly!
Everyone: OH MY FREAKING GOD! (Watch as zombies... uh... "what do you think" with Jill)
Sherry: MY EYES!
Chris: Oh great Lord in all the heavens!
Destiny: WHAT THE HELL! WHAT HELL! WHAT THE HELL! WHAT THE HELL!
Lucas: (Covers Junior's eyes) THIS IS NEVER LEAVING MY EYES!
Ark: (Too stunned and disgusted to make any movements) I'm going to throw up.
Claire: AAAAHHHHH! (Burys face into Wesker chest)
Wesker: (Trying and almost failing to hold in vomit)
Leon, Phillip, and everyone else: MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP!
Jill: That was kinda... cool.
Everyone: (Run to bathrooms, the kitchen, and garbage baskets and vomit violently)
Destiny: (Injects Jill with T-Virus antidote) Oh GOD! (Runs back to bathroom) I CAN'T TELL IF IT'S MORNING SICKNESS OR WHAT I JUST SAW!
Lucas: M-M-Moving on...
Leon: ANYthing to get that off my mind. (Happily thrown into games)
/Eightteen hours later/
Leon: (Jumps out of portal) Yeah, I lost.
Destiny: Krauser, do whatever.
Jack: (Takes Leon in front of everyone)
Everyone else: So much better than "That".
Jack: The blonde got me addicted to us yaoi.
Destiny: To be honest, it was an idea I thought of.
Leon: I think I'm forever scarred by that. I mean, at least you gave her an antidote.
Phone: JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!
Merchant: What was that?
Destiny: My phone is programmed to randomly ring out a different ring-tone everytime someone calls. Hello, Dest Wesk here!
Craztzealot: Yep, Talon again. I dare Ashley to go through the whole Devil May Cry series with her in the place of Dante while using no healing items. On Dante(Or in this case, Ashley) Must Die or Heaven or Hell difficulty. Her choice.
Destiny: Hey, Talon!
Lucas: You gave someone a shout-out.
Barry: Hey Mom!
Ashley: What? Why!
Collmillos: (Growl at Ashley)
Destiny: Oh yeah! I got a new shippment of BOWs! The Las Plagas infected dogs and wolves form RE4 and RE5!
Adjules: (Wag tails and bark)
Destiny: Puppies!
Lucas and Mortuus Silva pack: Hey!
Destiny: The Cerberi are still my first and number ones!
Lucas and other Cerberi: Yay!
Collmillos: (Push Ashley into DMC)
Destiny: I love DMC! Mostly the half-breeds and Nero!
Dante, Vergil, and Nero: Hey!
Destiny: (Goes fangirl on them)
Lucas: Uh, Fangirl Removal on stage.
Remover Ferals: (Come and take Destiny off the protangonists, and antagonist/anti-hero)
Wesker: Well, that was deadly.
DMC Characters: (Run away) STAY AWAY!
Phillip: If they knew what she did on a normal basis, it would be worse than Hell.
Dante and Vergil: AND WE'VE BEEN TO HELL!
Destiny: Yes, yes they were. COME BACK HERE! (Chases the White-Hairs)
Chris: I feel sorry for them.
Leon: That Dante guy looks like me.
Lucas: (Reading off the Internet) That's because Devil May Cry was going to be RE:4, but the plot steared away from the Resident Evil formula.
Phillip: Great, now they can use computers.
Lucas: Oh, I could always use computers. I just never showed it off.
Everyone: (Face palm)
Destiny: I GOT 'EM!
Dante: Please help me.
Destiny: The fangirls will eat good tonight! (Throw the three into the pit)
Nero: (Claws onto stage) DEAR GOD HELP ME! (Pulled back in)
Ashley: Oh God! I think I saw my life flash before my eyes over a hundred times!
Dante: Now you know how I feel. Ah, not so hard.
Wesker: Is he enjoying it in there?
Vergil: Same here.
Nero:... I feel guilty.
Destiny: That's right, Nero likes Kyrie, right?
Nero: I feel guilty.
Chris: That answers your question, Dest.
Phone: Hi! Hi! Ji! Ji!
Dante: The Hell's a ji?
Destiny: Don't ask. Yellow hello hello?
Combat235: Whoops, sorry for the mistakes. SSJ4 and Omega Shenron are from GT, not Z. Still, love the DB series!
Destiny: Yep, still don't know any of 'em.
Phone: FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH DOG!
Everyone: Wtf?
Destiny: Ignore. Hello?
Nega-Bowser: Sombody shot me please.
And um pulls out a bag here you go (This bag has random junk and weapons in plus over 1,000,000$.
Jared: O happy day o happy day this is for you (pulls out gun and gives to Destiny)
BYE BYE
Destiny: Cool! Money! Now we can pay for all the damages done to my house and my stage. Thank you!
Jack: Oh, we destroy a few things and you get pissed.
Destiny: (Holds knife to Jack's throat) A few very very expensive things that take large amounts of money to fix! (Stabs Jack to death)
Cloak Covered Person: So, Jack Krauser. Cause of Death, (Looks at Destiny) Destiny Wesker. Okay, I'm here for his soul.
Chris: Who're you?
Cloaky: Death's daughter.
Destiny: It's true. Her name's Zirina.
Cloaky: Ziri works too.
Lucas: Can't take him yet. But would you like to be a co-hostess?
Ziri: Sure. Dad only has me do pick ups.
Jill: So wait, if you're father is Death himself, then who's your mom?
Ziri: One of the Fates. There is one big, in-charge Fate, but there are other, individual Fates, too. So my mom's one of them.
Destiny: Cool! (Takes gun) Thanks! It's a great gift!
Ziri: Her and guns. I'm surprised you haven't managed to die, yet.
Phone: Silo! Silo! Silo! Silo!
Ziri: Silo!
Everyone: (Stare)
Ziri: What? That's how me and one of my half-brother's say hi.
Destiny: Right. Hey, what's up?
loveroflaughs: can i be in the story? any ways, tons of dares! lukas: bite alexia. alexia... screw ,you and alfred get chocolat chip cookies! whiney git(ashley)go die in the hole...of DOOMrm. , heres a samich! destiny, i have a prsent for ya! new chimira BOWs! think cat, with wings and venom tipped fangs! se amuse!(have fun" in french)dats all..most all, strap navi(link's lil fairy thingamabobert) to wesker's ear...why do dogs bark,LoL
Destiny: Ooo, random ones. Awsome.
Alexia: Say Ziri?
Ziri: Yes, Alexia?
Alexia: When were you born?
Ziri: Sss, can't really give a specific date, but some time in the early Dark Ages. Like, really really early Dark Ages.
Alexia: You're that old?
Ziri: Yep. But why I look like a fifteen year old, I like looking like this.
Alfred: Cool.
Ziri: And you both are on record. Serveral times, at that. What, do you two just not like staying dead? Or should I be asking Mr. Albert Wesker that, seeing as how he's died countless times now.
Wesker: (Gives her the bird)
Ziri: That wasn't very polite.
Destiny: MOVING ON. Luke, do your thang.
Lucas: Don't ever do that again. (Bites Alexia)
Alexia: (Dies almost immedietly)
Ziri: Alexia Ashford. Cause of Death this time: T-Veronica virus didn't correspond with the T-Virus, and died as a result.
Chris: So, we can have this girl tell us how some of us died, even if we don't know how?
Destiny: Sure! But, how'd you know, Ziri?
Ziri: I just do. That, and I have a really bad want to taste mouse right now.
Everyone: ...
Ziri: I was born a cat, people! Work with me here.
Destiny: Okay, next.
Steve and Alfred: Cookies! (Eat the cookies)
Colmillos: (Push Ashley into random hole)
Destiny: HAVE FUN! (Throws grenade down hole)
Adjules: (Look at Destiny)
Destiny: Don't worry, she'll be fine. (Hears the explosion) I think. Maaybe not. Who cares!
Ziri: Joseph Frost, mauled to death by Cerberi pack. I don't remember and don't care if you turned into a zombie.
Joseph: Well, that's kind.
Ziri: Hey, I'm like my dad. Sadistic as Hell.
Joseph: I hate you.
Ziri: And I you. I'm also a T-Carrier.
Everyone: (Jump onto the rafters)
Destiny: God damnit. (Grabs stick and pokes everyone) HAHAHA! POWER OVER POKAGE!
Barry: (Get sandwich) SANDWICH! (Bites the sandwich and falls down)
Destiny: (Catches Barry) Word of Advice: Lay off the sandwiches!
Barry: Why?
Destiny: YOU'RE HEAVY! (Drops Barry) Ow.
Chimera: Meow.
Destiny: Kitty with fangs! (Hugs BOW)
Chimera: (Bitrs Ark)
Ark: [BEEP]! POISON!
Destiny: Kitty with poison fangs!
Leon: Are you gonna help Ark or not?
Lucas: (Cures Ark) All better!
Wesker: Who?
Destiny: (Grabs Navi out of a bag and puts it on her brother's ear) Here Albert, it should make you go crazy.
Wesker: MAKE IT STOP! (Dies)
Chris: That was weird.
Phillip: Who cares anymore.
Destiny: Thanks for your dares, everyone! Please send in more! And you'll know the name of my baby if it's a boy!
Chris: The girl name is Amy.
Lucas: Call in, please!
I hath finished! Thank God, too. I happy now. Please call in. UPDATED!