Halfling's Leaf or Bust!
Reuters: Today Middle Earth was filled with the voices of demons, elves, dwarves and men alike – all sharing their love for the common weed found in the lower echelons of Hobbiton. Promises were made by a local wizard by the name of Gandalf, a man of small stature but great importance amongst the undesirables of this society – who insisted the local Lords legalize this plant or prepare themselves for anarchy even greater than the last battle of Middle Earth! Per usual no response was heard from Mordor or the Misty Mountains, but locals claim to smell odour in the air caused by the harvest of this plant in these regions. Whilst not as potent, some claim it carries a distinct flavour and is used to breed giant octopus like creatures within the waters to scare out the dwarves.
The rally began to gather at Hornbug at the strike of dawn, and 5000 strong began to make their way to Hobbiton. Creatures of every kind partook, and some claimed the figure of a grey wizard leading them on a giant bird was more comic than anything else. Village children gathered at Isengard to toss stones and pebbles at the crowd sometimes in disarray, and families gathered for a picnic in every town this rally crossed to view this comic spectacle. Word travelled fast to Bree where a special milita of more children, village idiots and fools gathered to welcome the now exhausted rally – and tossed more stones, pebbles, & even tomatoes at them. When questioned the Governor of Bree claimed it was all done in good humour, but Gandalf insisted it was an attempt to foil the rally.
"Do not take me for a conjurer of cheap tricks!" He claimed, which seemed extremely contradictory for an old man who carried only firecrackers and rode on a giant bird that almost always looked as if it was cursing its fates. After much veal and valour, the halfling's leaf has finally been legalized and is now sold in all corners of Middle Earth numbing its population for better or for worse. One Rhunic soldier claimed this was the only thing that brought them together, his statement was immediately opposed by all the Lords in Free People's lands.
In other news a goblin-that-looks-like-a-hobbit-but-not-really-a-hobbit-of-two-personalities by the name of Gollum was abducted today and is now being tortured as he is suspected of possessing the one ring. The Lords don't seem too concerned as one anonymous source pointed the orcs are merely doing this for fun – and goblins that look like hobbits are big fat liars anyway.