So I'm back... I'm meaning Elphie... however, Elphie has a new account, and suggests that you check it out: CheatingAtMonkeyBall. Thanks. Kk. Bye.
Disclaimer: BREAKING NEWS: Elphie and Kona-chan recently earned the licenses and rights to Naruto, Wicked, the Wizard of Oz, AND InuYasha within the time frame of Kona-chan's last update until today. See the secret is to write a very very very convincing letter to the companies and end it with a backwards winking smiley face (;
So Hinata was sitting impatiently in her History/Life Science classroom. She happened to sit next to Kagome and Ash and Dawn. For Kona-chan's sake, Ash and Dawn were sitting next to each other. Kona-chan squealed from her beach chair in the paradise as an angelic choir sang in the background. "OH TANK JOO ELPHIE! DUZ DAT MEAN JOO ISH A PEARLSHIPPER?"
Elphie replied bluntly: "No, but I just wanted to give you something. I mean, you already have my RENT CD, movie, Kristin Chenoweth book, and probably cloned my plushies whilst I was asleep at Emily's house."
"... I do not have your K Cheno book..." Kona-chan replied embarrassed, refusing to deny anything else...
Hinata tapped her pencil to the beat of some underground tune like the one in the Hairspray movie. That's pretty much all I can say about Hinata. We writers set her up for some boring storyline by sending her to SCHOOL. I mean, really, a school? Sigh, let's go to the boys.
Well, Elphaba had run after the merry murderess with a broomstick and big book with purple pages, so the guys were just kinda chilling watching TV. Kiba was still crying over Akamaru whilst InuYasha and Fiyero fought over what to watch - InuYasha wanted to watch AnimalPlanet whilst Fiyero wanted to watch HighSchoolMusical. Eventually InuYasha won, making this authoress very happy.
"Ya know," Elphie said, floating in a basking blue pool that connected to a waterfall on a red floaty, "after writing that, I can kinda see the potential between Fiyero and InuYasha."
Kona-chan raised her sunglasses in slow motion before saying steadily, "No."
"But," Elphie defended, "since we have started this story making Kiba and Fiyero ourselves, it's technically not yaoi."
Kona-chan blinked twice before vomiting into a conveniently nearby bucket. Why was that bucket there? Because this is fanfiction paradise, and sometimes fanfiction writers come up with ideas that make them sick. "So the idea of Kibayero would be yuri - but not only that, between
us?"
Elphie fell off her float upon that realization. The two girls started crying. Then the fanfiction bot came upon them, "Trouble in paradise?"
"SHUT UP FANFICTION BOT AND GO PUT THE CHARACTERS UP IN THE NANAKA 6/17 SECTION!" Elphie screeched through tears. "I don't love ya like that Kona-chan!"
"ME EITHER! IN FACT EVEN IF I DID SWING THAT WAY I'M WAY TOO GOOD FOR YOU!"
"Then why are you my friend?"
"Because this gives you someone to worship."
"Oh," Elphie responded before hopping out of the pool and fanning Kona-chan with a palm leaf like any loyal slave would.
Fiyero mumbled to himself about how he'll never be able to get his head in the game watching 100 Types of Cats, but it was still kind of amusing to see InuYasha barking at the screen. Suddenly InuYasha's hair turned dark and his tiny cat ears disappeared. Weird that he has cat ears when he's a hanyou? Yes. He stopped barking.
Kiba decided to perk his ears up at this and blinked, "Dude..."
"Oh yeah, I randomly turn human for a day cuz my mom was a human, and my dad had to be a douche and knock her up when my brother is full-fledged demon. Doesn't that suck?"
"Yeah, I would hate to not have my full potential," Fiyero said, forgetting momentarily that he was no longer in the Gale Force holding a musket but instead made of straw and falling apart piece by piece. Upon this re-entering his mind he sobbed. His sobbing made Kiba remember he didn't have Akamaru. The mention of Akamaru even in the context of third person made InuYasha realize that he was a puny weak human again, therefore he started sobbing. Suddenly Kikyo, Glinda, and Ino popped into the room. The boys continued sobbing.
"Whoa you brought their exes back... and Ino... why Ino?" Kona-chan marveled.
"Cuz she's the second most popular to put with Kiba. And she has the perfect personality for what's about to happen." Elphie replied, tapping at her keyboard swiftly.
"M'k."
Glinda, Kikyo, and Ino biotch-slapped the proper boy from their fandom and shouted, "I did not go out with you because you were a baby. Man up and get to Shiz where your SEKKUHRETTE LUVAAHHHR is!"
"How did you say that in unison?" The boys marveled at the same time.
"THAT DOESN'T MATTER!" The girls stamped their feet. "GO TO SHIZ AND FILL OUT AN APPLICATION!"
"Okay!" Fiyero and Kiba shouted and saluted.
"Just one thing..." InuYasha bit his lip, afraid Kikyo would kill him any second now. "I have to go to the little half demon's room."
It then dawned upon all of them that this entire story consisted of them teleporting to places, but they never used the bathroom once... ever. Quickly they noticed their knees tight together with a pain in their groin from holding it in. Everyone that was ever mentioned in this story ran to the nearest bathroom. Catchy piano music played, and the tune was strangely familiar. Suddenly two ABBA imposters that happened to look very similar to Elphie and Kona-chan appeared and sang:
DIARRHEA!
GOTTA GO AGAIN!
MY MY - YOU ALSO GOTTA PISS-A
DIARRHEA!
FEEL IT FLOW AGAIN!
MY MY - GET SOME TOILET PAPER!
YESSSSSSSS WE KNOW THAT YOU FARTED
STILL SMELL IT THOUGH WE PARTED.
WHY WHY
DID WE NOT WRITE THAT YOU GO!
DIARRHEA!
NOW THE AUTHORS KNOW
WE WE - WE SHOULD REALLY LET YOU GO!
Then all the characters flushed the toilets simultaneously and returned to their previous positions.
Hinata had stopped tapping her pencil because the bell would ring in five seconds, and she was packing up. Suddenly Ash walked up to her with a smirk. "You wanna go out?"
Kona-chan smiled radiantly at Elphie, "It's TECHNICAL Pearlshipping!"
"Ewwwwwww that's as obsessive as Seddiers!" Elphie cringed, disgusticified.
"Ya know, I'm totally over Pokemon anyway, so whatever." Kona-chan shrugged and put in her headphones, unknowing that Elphie could hear her listening to the Team Rocket's "Double Trouble" song.
"HEY!" InuYasha reveled, "THEY SAID OUR SL's WERE AT SHIZ! LET'S GOOOOOOO!"
End. Haha I had lots of fun writing that song spoof. Come on Kona-chan! I pass it back to you!